Renewing Marital Intimacy: Closing the Gap Between Your and Your Spouse

CCEF Minibooks

by David A. Powlison

You started out telling each other everything. Time flew by when you were together. It all seemed so easy then. But now it seems like there's nothing to say. The intimacy and trust you once enjoyed are gone--replaced by bickering, long silences, and hurried conversations about your schedule. But it isn't too late to renew intimacy in your marriage. In Renewing Marital Closing the Gap Between You and Your Spouse, CCEFs David Powlison takes a close look at those things that destroy intimacy in marriage and shows how renewing your marriage begins with a renewed relationship with God. Then he offers practical steps to achieving closeness in your marriage, including three questions to ask each other every day. All the minibooks in our Christian bookstore offer gospel-centered hope for everyday issues like parenting, marriage, and personal change. These easy-to-read discipleship and biblical counseling resources tackle lifes toughest issues in 30 minutes or less. Minibooks are frequently used by pastors and ministry leaders to help others apply biblical wisdom to specific life issues. Churches, biblical counseling ministries, and missional organizations make the minibooks available in their acrylic display cases to further discipleship and gospel-centered living.

Genres: Counselling, Marriage, Christian, Christianity

24 pages, Paperback

Published October 31, 2008

About the author

David Powlison, MDiv, PhD, (1949–2019) was a teacher, counselor, and the executive director of the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation (CCEF). He wrote many books and minibooks, including Speaking Truth in Love, Seeing with New Eyes, Good and Angry, Making All Things New, God's Grace in Your Suffering, Safe and Sound, and Take Heart. David was also the editor of The Journal of Biblical Counseling.

Reviews

[Bianca]

This is a concise and practical book, offering hope for couples whose relationship feels distant or disconnected. My husband and I already have a habit of checking in, asking questions, and spending time together, so much of the advice wasn’t directly relevant to us—but for those who don’t have that kind of communication, it would be an excellent starting point.

What I really appreciated is the focus on the heart: you need a Redeemer to change your heart so you can truly love God and your spouse. The book reminds us that our goal in life shouldn’t be a “good marriage,” but knowing our Redeemer, because only He can teach us how to love and transform our hearts toward each other. I also liked how it highlights that love is expressed in practical actions—not just conversations. As Paul says in Romans 12:20, even a simple act, like giving a glass of cold water, is an expression of love.

It’s realistic, encouraging, and clearly written, making it easy to apply in everyday life.

[Mike E.]

These mini-books (or pamphlets) are outstanding.

I am in the process of reading all of them. Concise. Biblical. Practical.

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Love means bearing in mind the interests of another person.

Don't make your goal in life to have a good marriage. Instead, make knowing your Redeemer your goal. Only he can teach you to love.

The start of change in any profound area of life is always change with respect to God.

[Joseph Chung]

Though the exegesis is a bit problematic (the telos of the Parable of the Sower is not to talk about love but the reception of God's word), the suggestions are practical, useful and biblical. It offers hope to the seemingly dead relationship in marriage. Highly recommend it to all couples who want a really intimate relationship to each other.

[Cole Feix]

Incredible resource for pastoral counseling. Everything by Powlison is good. This very short book is great to go over with couples or individuals.

[S Dunn]

Was a real help after going through a prolonged absence from my family due to work.

[David Su]

some good practical ideas

Short, easy to read with discussion questions. Some good practical ideas but not sure about the appropriateness of some of the biblical references

[Janette Kern]

Clear, concise, and doable when applying the truth to one's own marriage.

[Matthew Holly]

Good counseling resource

[Mark Donald]

Re-read with elders of CHC (Oct 2023).

Great resource.
Some foundational truths followed by some practical strategies for pursuing unity in your marriage.