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Laid: Young People's Experiences with Sex in an Easy-Access Culture
In this hard-hitting anthology, journalist Shannon T. Boodram collects the compelling and personal firsthand accounts of young people dealing with sex in today’s world. Laid covers a range of important topics, from teens’ first times to STIs, abstinence to unplanned pregnancies. Boodram, an up-and-coming voice for her generation, engages teens and twentysomethings in honest dialogue and explores how they see and experience sex, how and why it shapes their beliefs, and what they have learned about themselves and their sexuality through their actions. Laid is a great conversation-starter, and doesn’t shy away from the personal topics. A great resource for young people, Laid invites teens and young adults to take a close-up look at sex and sexuality. Boodram’s chapters offer more than 40 personal narratives, from both female and male voices, with in-depth analyses, facts, and Q&As to further the discourse. Responsible and thought-provoking, Laid offers a range of honest perspectives on young adult sexuality in today’s easy access culture.
- GenresNonfictionSexuality
328 pages, Paperback
First published September 10, 2009
26 people are currently reading
472 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
January 15, 2019
Moralising, didactic, surprisingly conservative, misleading, surprisingly heteronormative with some not-so-subtle tired internalised biphobia ‘I have found that bisexuality has become a trend for women of all ages.’ The queer rep when it comes seems misunderstanding and unaware of asexuals who have sex, aromatics who have sex, and nonbinary folk.
December 29, 2020
Solid sampling of youth today and their stories to draw attention to our culture - alongside a world that grows more interconnected through technology each day - and the nature of sex. Stories show the crippling realities as well as the blissful, and seeks to show what our youth already know at tender ages we couldn't fathom from our lifetime
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June 10, 2012When I picked up Laid: Young People’s Experiences with Sex in an Easy-Access Culture I was excited to see how editor Shannon T. Boodram handled the interesting topic of teen sexuality. Boodram is more a dictator than an editor in this book, interjecting her own opinions and observations throughout the collection of young people’s first hand accounts of their experiences. The introduction sets the book up as an honest and unique form of sex-education that let’s teens speak for themselves. I thought that sounded like a refreshing and empowering approach to frank discussion of teen sexuality, but Boodram’s checkpoint sections following each chapter are distracting. If I were a teenager looking for first hand accounts I think I would find these sections condescending, implying that the young voices were not adequate and need the meddling that is so often imposed upon young people by their elders. An appendix at the end with further resources would be more than sufficient, yet Boodram insists on pushing her own agenda in this supposedly unbiased collection.
Boodram also seems to only portray the negative aspects of sex. Of the five chapters in the book, three focus on negative sexual experiences, one focuses on positive experiences, and one focuses on abstaining from sex. Even in the positive accounts most read as positive because the writer waited to have sex in a long term relationship. It is obviously of the utmost importance to teach adolescents the negative effects sex can have on your life and to stress the importance of safety, comfort and consent. However, I also feel that it is important to emphasize the pleasure that can come of sex, even with a stranger. I would hope my potential future child will be having sex in a loving and established relationship during their teen years to introduce them to their sexuality in a safe and trusting environment, but I also recognize that many people find boundless pleasure in casual sex. It does not always lead to STI’s, pregnancy or heartbreak. Boodram could have used far more examples of positive sexual experiences while still keeping the stories of sex-gone-wrong. I think that had I read this as a teen I would either find it scary and avoid sex for years out of fear, or would immediately reject it as the pedagogical ranting of puritanical adults.
Despite my misgivings on the collection and its almost sex-negative tone, I found a lot of the stories very interesting. One does not often get to read first hand accounts from teenagers, who are often silenced by the academy in favor of people who have seen more years and fewer episodes of Glee. The stories brought me back to my first sexual encounters and the often confused, delusional thoughts going through my head. Teenagers can easily feel alienated in their feelings, and this book serves as a tool to show young people that they are not alone in their tentative first steps into their adult sexual personas. The stories truly represented young voices in their own ways. Any one of them could be lifted from my high school diary. I was reminded that I once wrote unbearable, painful, embarrassing poetry about the boy who took my virginity. (I thank God that those poems were not published, however. It should be law that no one under the age of 25 should be able to publish poetry.) Laid is a tool that could be very helpful to some adolescents, but should also be taken with a grain of salt. The book can be used to open dialogue on why these stories are important, but also on why their presentation might be problematic.
Boodram also seems to only portray the negative aspects of sex. Of the five chapters in the book, three focus on negative sexual experiences, one focuses on positive experiences, and one focuses on abstaining from sex. Even in the positive accounts most read as positive because the writer waited to have sex in a long term relationship. It is obviously of the utmost importance to teach adolescents the negative effects sex can have on your life and to stress the importance of safety, comfort and consent. However, I also feel that it is important to emphasize the pleasure that can come of sex, even with a stranger. I would hope my potential future child will be having sex in a loving and established relationship during their teen years to introduce them to their sexuality in a safe and trusting environment, but I also recognize that many people find boundless pleasure in casual sex. It does not always lead to STI’s, pregnancy or heartbreak. Boodram could have used far more examples of positive sexual experiences while still keeping the stories of sex-gone-wrong. I think that had I read this as a teen I would either find it scary and avoid sex for years out of fear, or would immediately reject it as the pedagogical ranting of puritanical adults.
Despite my misgivings on the collection and its almost sex-negative tone, I found a lot of the stories very interesting. One does not often get to read first hand accounts from teenagers, who are often silenced by the academy in favor of people who have seen more years and fewer episodes of Glee. The stories brought me back to my first sexual encounters and the often confused, delusional thoughts going through my head. Teenagers can easily feel alienated in their feelings, and this book serves as a tool to show young people that they are not alone in their tentative first steps into their adult sexual personas. The stories truly represented young voices in their own ways. Any one of them could be lifted from my high school diary. I was reminded that I once wrote unbearable, painful, embarrassing poetry about the boy who took my virginity. (I thank God that those poems were not published, however. It should be law that no one under the age of 25 should be able to publish poetry.) Laid is a tool that could be very helpful to some adolescents, but should also be taken with a grain of salt. The book can be used to open dialogue on why these stories are important, but also on why their presentation might be problematic.
November 6, 2012
Reviewed by Me for TeensReadToo.com
Editor Shannon T. Boodram is a journalist who got her start as a sexual educator on Canadian National Network at the age of nineteen. Since that time, she's been busy creating podcasts, putting together LAID, and serving as an expert on different sexuality panels.
The basics of LAID are this: Young people ages 18-25 were asked to share a life-changing sexual experience that they had went through in their teens. The purpose was to present the information - the good, the bad, and the ugly - to teens everywhere in a non-threatening, non-judgmental, non-preachy way. In this respect, Ms. Boodram has definitely succeeded. You can tell from each story that the contributors had put thought into how to tell their story, so that readers would come away with a feeling of having learned something rather than being judged.
The book is broken up into five separate parts: Hookups that Fell Down (negative sexual experiences), And Then I Saw Stars (positive sexual experiences), Haven't Been Quite Right Since that Night (consequences of sex), When NO! Loses All Meaning (date rape and sexual abuse), and Save Your Cherry...Or Banana (abstinence and abstaining).
I'll be honest: Some of the stories included in LAID are hard to read. Some are downright heartbreaking. Others show the need to be fully informed before heading into a sexual relationship. I found the Q & A sections to be enlightening, with information on sex and sexuality given in a no-nonsense manner that older teens are sure to relate to. As sex in all its forms becomes more readily available to youth of all ages (television, radio, Internet), it's the perfect time to have a book such as this one.
Overall, a good read for those contemplating their sexuality or questioning whether it's time for them to have sex. Although there are no hard-and-fast answers in LAID, reading about the experiences of their peers is sure to be helpful to a lot of readers.
Editor Shannon T. Boodram is a journalist who got her start as a sexual educator on Canadian National Network at the age of nineteen. Since that time, she's been busy creating podcasts, putting together LAID, and serving as an expert on different sexuality panels.
The basics of LAID are this: Young people ages 18-25 were asked to share a life-changing sexual experience that they had went through in their teens. The purpose was to present the information - the good, the bad, and the ugly - to teens everywhere in a non-threatening, non-judgmental, non-preachy way. In this respect, Ms. Boodram has definitely succeeded. You can tell from each story that the contributors had put thought into how to tell their story, so that readers would come away with a feeling of having learned something rather than being judged.
The book is broken up into five separate parts: Hookups that Fell Down (negative sexual experiences), And Then I Saw Stars (positive sexual experiences), Haven't Been Quite Right Since that Night (consequences of sex), When NO! Loses All Meaning (date rape and sexual abuse), and Save Your Cherry...Or Banana (abstinence and abstaining).
I'll be honest: Some of the stories included in LAID are hard to read. Some are downright heartbreaking. Others show the need to be fully informed before heading into a sexual relationship. I found the Q & A sections to be enlightening, with information on sex and sexuality given in a no-nonsense manner that older teens are sure to relate to. As sex in all its forms becomes more readily available to youth of all ages (television, radio, Internet), it's the perfect time to have a book such as this one.
Overall, a good read for those contemplating their sexuality or questioning whether it's time for them to have sex. Although there are no hard-and-fast answers in LAID, reading about the experiences of their peers is sure to be helpful to a lot of readers.
July 20, 2019
The world needed this book and it was fantastic! Editor Shannon Boodram masterfully melded the stories from her own life as well as others to give various perspectives on sex. I loved the organization of the book in general, with regards to topics. I wasn't as big a fan of the questionnaires at the end that involve your self-reflection after reading a chapter. If you like to pause and actively reflect using a pen on paper, then this is the perfect book for you! The stories themselves were beautiful, relatable, and at times horribly devastating. The poetry in the book didn't speak much to me, but it showed up only a handful of times. The best sections were in prose.
I saw that one story was told twice in the book. I'm not sure if this was on accident or on purpose, but either way it was annoying.
I think the stories could have had more graphic details about sex itself, since people don't really talk about how idiosyncratic it can be! The topic was breached when the editor talked about how inaccurate porn is, but I think the topic could've been dissected a lot more than it was. Most of the stories where sexual intercourse itself was the primary plot point (rather than, getting an STI, etc.) had minimal details, and could've been fleshed out further!
I saw that one story was told twice in the book. I'm not sure if this was on accident or on purpose, but either way it was annoying.
I think the stories could have had more graphic details about sex itself, since people don't really talk about how idiosyncratic it can be! The topic was breached when the editor talked about how inaccurate porn is, but I think the topic could've been dissected a lot more than it was. Most of the stories where sexual intercourse itself was the primary plot point (rather than, getting an STI, etc.) had minimal details, and could've been fleshed out further!
April 8, 2021
This book was recommended to me by my partner and I'm not sure why. The book was overly didactic and surprisingly hesitant to share sex-positive anecdotes. The writing is also pretty bland throughout. The moral of the book is to only have sex with someone if they are your partner or if they are promising to be your partner - every other kind of sex is dangerous and upsetting. Would I share this with my child? Sure, but if scaring them out of sex is my goal, I can do that all on my own.
May 19, 2024
For a book about sex this was not very sex positive. There was a point where after talking about casual relationships they said something like “would you want to give your future husband a body that’s been used” wtf is that about. I kept noticing little jabs like that throughout the book. I do think it’s important to show all sides of this subject the good and the bad but this book was written in a way that someone who is afraid of the topic would talk about it.
November 24, 2017
As a virgin this book make me more scared to have sex. Do not recommend. Read something else I love Shannon Boodrams YouTube videos she is much better there. This book is terrible it made me feel really gross to read. Not a sex ed book.
May 11, 2020
As a 28 year old woman this book isn't for me, but I think it's a very important read for young people just starting to explore sex. It would be a perfect replacement for the parental sex talk since we all know that goes nowhere. Just give them this book instead
September 3, 2019
An informative and engaging compilation of initial sexual experiences.
Boodram is thorough and the authors are all brave to share their stories.
Boodram is thorough and the authors are all brave to share their stories.
August 15, 2021
Less enlightened than I was hoping. Shelved.
April 5, 2010
Laid is an anthology of personal stories about young people's experiences with sex, be it first times, sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy, rape, love and everything in between. It has the very important element of person stories and emotions that are missing from the sexual education people receive. The introduction of emotion and personal stories made it for me, so much more important and meaningful than the lists and statistics you would find in health class. If it could happen to this person it could happen to you. It made it more real.
I like how the stories were grouped into themed sections, though it did get tough reading some of the more serious stories all in a row. Overall the stories were pretty easy to relate to and understand. Though, I noticed in a few cases I didn't feel like I had enough backstory or was confused by a few things mentioned by the person. I definitely preferred the narratives to the poetic selections but I liked that there was a variety of writing methods used by the different authors. The perspectives are also varied from both men and women, straight and gay. The editor really did her job fleshing it out with variety to the best of her ability. You can tell how important this anthology is to her, sharing her own stories throughout and sharing insight that she's learned through her work as a sexual educator.
And while this is a book of personal stories there are still the facts and figures you'd expect, and also a Q&A after each chapter with all the questions you might have about what you have just read and also checkpoints to reflect on you own experiences and perspective. I think this book is a really important tool for teaching and learning about sexuality for young and old alike. I can't think of a soul that shouldn't read this.
I like how the stories were grouped into themed sections, though it did get tough reading some of the more serious stories all in a row. Overall the stories were pretty easy to relate to and understand. Though, I noticed in a few cases I didn't feel like I had enough backstory or was confused by a few things mentioned by the person. I definitely preferred the narratives to the poetic selections but I liked that there was a variety of writing methods used by the different authors. The perspectives are also varied from both men and women, straight and gay. The editor really did her job fleshing it out with variety to the best of her ability. You can tell how important this anthology is to her, sharing her own stories throughout and sharing insight that she's learned through her work as a sexual educator.
And while this is a book of personal stories there are still the facts and figures you'd expect, and also a Q&A after each chapter with all the questions you might have about what you have just read and also checkpoints to reflect on you own experiences and perspective. I think this book is a really important tool for teaching and learning about sexuality for young and old alike. I can't think of a soul that shouldn't read this.
November 29, 2023
I enjoyed the subject matter of this book.
This was a very good read. Composed of many writing submissions of mostly women, they speak about good and bad sexual experiences and what those experiences did to them moving forward. Some good, some bad. The main point in saying this is that it brings the conversation point to giving this book to young people around you and giving them something to be able to relate to. Read about and digest before they have to make some of these big decisions as well.
I want to give this book at all my nieces and nephews so they know the power of what they are doing and not doing. It can be an extension of having the talk while giving resources and stories to others lived experiences.
This book was also complied in the early 2010’s which might be a little dated for some, but many of these things still ring true today.
I was able to discover Shan when watching some show on Netflix and did a deep dive on her. To discover her background and what she does is truly amazing.
I knew I wanted to read a couple of her books, and this one stood at the forefront based on my work with young men. I wanted to better understand what women can be going through especially in a generation where hook up culture is prominent and sex and more like kissing these days for many. Something expected.
Like I said above, sex is like kissing, but what i feel is missing is the concept of love. What that means to people in general varies by who you ask, but many will say they don’t need love in order to have sex. But what happens when you either use love in order to have sex and vice versa.
This was a very good read. Composed of many writing submissions of mostly women, they speak about good and bad sexual experiences and what those experiences did to them moving forward. Some good, some bad. The main point in saying this is that it brings the conversation point to giving this book to young people around you and giving them something to be able to relate to. Read about and digest before they have to make some of these big decisions as well.
I want to give this book at all my nieces and nephews so they know the power of what they are doing and not doing. It can be an extension of having the talk while giving resources and stories to others lived experiences.
This book was also complied in the early 2010’s which might be a little dated for some, but many of these things still ring true today.
I was able to discover Shan when watching some show on Netflix and did a deep dive on her. To discover her background and what she does is truly amazing.
I knew I wanted to read a couple of her books, and this one stood at the forefront based on my work with young men. I wanted to better understand what women can be going through especially in a generation where hook up culture is prominent and sex and more like kissing these days for many. Something expected.
Like I said above, sex is like kissing, but what i feel is missing is the concept of love. What that means to people in general varies by who you ask, but many will say they don’t need love in order to have sex. But what happens when you either use love in order to have sex and vice versa.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 9, 2013
Laid purports to be a frank conversation about sex, but it leans towards the conservative. One chapter describes sex for pleasure. The rest of the book is sex regret, rape, sexually transmitted diseases, and it conveniently ends with a chapter on abstinence. It’s almost as if Boodram is advocating that youth embrace their sexuality and yet somehow eschew sex altogether . If I were 15 years younger and I read Laid, I would be so afraid of sex that I wouldn’t want to try it for another 15 years. There’s got to be a better text that balances pleasurable and painful experiences with sex. This volume certainly errs on the sex might ruin your life side. However, I do give the young author props for her honesty. I can’t say that in my early 20s I would have published my sexual exploits for the world to read in perpetuity. That took some guts. I respect what she tried to do here even if I prefer books about sex that better balance pleasure and responsibility.
March 5, 2010
Hookups vs Healthy Relationships
When people read Laid: Young People’s Experiences with Sex in an Easy-Access Culture, author Shannon Boodram hopes they will learn rather than judge.
One thing I learned was that the difference between a positive and negative hookup experience lies in the same things that make for a healthy relationship... > read more
http://laidthebook.com/blog/2010/02/h...
When people read Laid: Young People’s Experiences with Sex in an Easy-Access Culture, author Shannon Boodram hopes they will learn rather than judge.
One thing I learned was that the difference between a positive and negative hookup experience lies in the same things that make for a healthy relationship... > read more
http://laidthebook.com/blog/2010/02/h...
May 25, 2012
This book was good for what is was: an educational tool. The stories were alternately funny, scary, and engaging, but the introductions and follow-ups did get a little preachy. I think that a younger audience would have an easier time relating, but since I was at the top end of the intended age group, I had a harder time getting into it. Still, good for your little cousins to read and learn what's up in a less-cheesy way than sex-ed.
August 29, 2010
Shannon Boodram offers testimonials by several young adults about positive and negative sexual experiences. At the end of each chapter, she challenges the reader to a quiz about how much they know about contraception, disease, and other sexual related topics. This is a great read for teens, young adults, parents of pre-teens and teens, and sexuality educators.
July 29, 2012
Sinnce I am a virgin this was not a great book. I was looking for reasons why I shouldn't or should have sex. This book didn't really help me with that. I felt I was reading a lot of confessions. This was not my favorite. If you like Chicken Soup for the Soul then you will like this book. The first few pages were enjoyable but the rest of the story was a no go.
May 12, 2010
To read my review of Laid: Young People’s Experiences with Sex in an Easy-Access Culture by Shannon T. Boodram of Laid: Young People’s Experiences with Sex in an Easy-Access Culture by Shannon T. Boodramplease go to http://www.myshelf.com/teen/nonfictio...
September 11, 2013
For a book written by young people for young people, it does a whole lot of moralizing and scare-tactic using. I honestly found myself being disgusted/insulted by a fair number of the authors, but some stories were touching. Overall, I think this was a waste of time and money.
October 15, 2014
This book could've had a little more deeper stories than the typical teenager scenarios. My favorite story that I think should be featured in sex ed classes was "do you know this man?" It was a very well written book and very informational. I liked all the personal stories.
Want to read
May 26, 2009So I'm in this book. A contributor!
January 4, 2014
I finished this a long while ago but left goodreads for a bit of time. I waited so long to find this book that it became very meh when I finally had it. sadly.
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews