A Field Guide to Burying Your Parents

by Liza Palmer

Grace Hawkes has not spoken to her previously tight-knit family since her mother's sudden death five years ago. Well, most of the family was tight-knit--her father walked out on them when she was 13 and she and her two brothers and sister bonded together even closer with their mother as a result.

She's been doing her best to live her new life apart from them, but when their estranged father has a stroke and summons them, Grace suddenly realizes she's done the same thing he had done...abandoned those who need her most.

And need her they do, for inside the hospital walls, a strange war is unfolding between the pseudo-kindly woman who is their father's second wife and the rest of the original Hawkes clan. Upon reconnecting with her brother and sisters, Grace will find a part of herself she thought was lost forever. As they unravel the manipulative deception of the second Mrs. Hawkes, Grace will finally be able to stand up for her family--and to remember what a family is, even after all these years.

Genres: Chick Lit, Fiction, Family, Book Club, Death, Contemporary, Adult

304 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

Liza Palmer is the internationally bestselling author of Conversations with the Fat Girl , which has been optioned for series by HBO.

Library Journal said Palmer’s “blend of humor and sadness is realistic and gripping,..”

After earning two Emmy nominations writing for the first season of VH1’s Pop Up Video, she now knows far too much about Fergie.

Palmer’s fifth novel, Nowhere but Home, is about a failed chef who decides to make last meals for the condemned in Texas. Nowhere but Home won the Willie Morris Award for Southern Fiction in 2013.

Liza's seventh novel, The F Word, came out through Flatiron Books April 25, 2017.

Liza lives in Los Angeles and when she's not drinking tea and talking about The Great British Bake Off, she works at BuzzFeed.

Reviews

[Susan's Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

Family break ups and traumas: Liza Palmer is amazing at detailing the emotional fall out when one parent suddenly deserts the family unit and shatters everyone's illusion of a "happy family".
The second chance romance was cute. I agree with another Goodreads reviewer that the wicked, conniving step-mother trope was a bit of a stretch, but the rest of the story was so good and engrossing that this was just a minor blip in an otherwise well-written, entertaining story. Liz Palmer is way up there on my favourite author list.

[Elana · Rating 1 out of 5]

I knew it was a red flag when an inappropriate simile was in the first paragraph, followed by a few crass words. The last straw was on page 6 when she called a woman retarded just because the woman commented on the fact that the rain was nice. Using the word retarded in the year 2010 when this book was written shows a lack of sensitivity. I found it ignorant and offensive. (I have a granddaughter that has Down Syndrome and maybe I'm a little hyper-sensitive). Maybe the rest of the book is better, but I won't be reading it.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish this hasn't had an epilogue, because of my staunch anti-epilogue stance, but still... It's pretty freaking good. This book managed to be heartwarming even though the overarching story is pretty sad. Also, even though it's a relatively small part of the novel, the rekindled romance was lovely.

[Lynn Kearney · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title is the best part of the book.

[Jeanne · Rating 1 out of 5]

Uh-uh. No. I didn't buy it. From the "fun run" at the beginning where the pack was divided into paces - the runners doing a 5k UNDER 8 minutes in the first wave, the second wave for runners under 12 minutes - I knew this author was talking about stuff she knew nothing about. By the way - the WORLD'S RECORD 5k time as a RACE (and may I point out, the author here called it a FUN RUN?) is 12:37. From there on out the whole book was just as silly. Stupid.
~
The emotional lives of the characters didn't ring true.
The behavior of the characters didn't ring true.
The sort of modern muddled melodrama of a plot didn't ring true. The sort of romance style of the piece was as simplistic and superficial as most mediocre modern romances are. No surprise there. Again, it didn't ring true.
The way it dealt with death and loss was trite. Cliché. And yet, none of it rang true.
And lordy, lordy! How many times can you use the word 'epiphany' in one novel?
It was mildly diverting, which would have made this fluff forgivable at half the length of this thing, PERHAPS. Or perhaps not. Frustrating, unbelievable. Unanswered questions leaving the reader feeling unresolved at the ending. Maybe because the author couldn't think of any good reasons for any of the unbelievable behavior throughout the entire book? Ah-HA! THAT rings true.
Don't waste your time with this one. There truly are good reads out there.

[Jacqueline · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really like this author and have been reading all of her books after being introduced to her. This book was exceptionally written as I felt it dealt with difficult emotions to express but conveyed them well. I'm not sure the character's actions were always realistic (would someone forgive a father that left them so easily? would an ex boyfriend accept someone back as their girlfriend without working out their issues and or requiring her to explain why she left?) Some of the issues I just listed were addressed but were glossed over. It was a sad topic rich in the heavy emotions pertaining to loss, death and grief. However, at time the book got a little too entrenched in flowery language and stuck, while other more important things were glossed over and fixed instantly. Aside from this, I did enjoy the book and found it to be a quick, easy read. Despite the heavy emotions that went into the book's topic, it somehow ended on a very positive note (not necessarily natural, but acceptable) and I didn't feel sad or cry from it. I am on the fence about the book, but did enjoy it, just found it too exaggerated at times and hard to identify with as far as the forgiveness aspect goes (but maybe that is just me).

[Karen Germain · Rating 2 out of 5]

I grabbed Liza Palmer’s “A Field Guide to Burying Your Parents” at the goodreads book swap at Book Soup in Hollywood. I thought based on the way the book was pitched, that I would find it relatable. I have dealt with a dying parent and have had to deal with the greedy relatives that come out of the woodwork when my grandmother passed away. Even though the book had similarities to my life, I did not find it very relatable.

I did not handle grief like any of the characters in the book. Also, the book is really about the sibling dynamic, which as an only child, is a bit of a mystery to me. I felt for the Hawkes siblings, but find them to be particularly likeable. I actually found the large cast of characters to be a bit indistinguishable and I had to refer back a few pages to keep everyone straight. It was a quick read and if it had not been, I don’t think that I would have stuck with it. Considering the subject matter, it did not pack much of an emotional punch. It often felt overdone and trite.

I thought that the title was catchy.

[Vee41dmb · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't know ezactly why, but I had a hard time putting this book down.
It was fast paced and overall well written. The plot could see a bit overdone and contrived, but it wasn't. I can't give it a 5, because it was missing a little something more. I didn't feel that WOW moment, but instead felt engaged throughout the whole novel.


Update: After sleeping on it i figuired it out. Her writing is strong enough that it didn't need the whole legal evil stepmother drama. The end was a bit rushed and seemed way to easy in that aspect. Had she wanted to make the book longer and keep the legal drama that would have been fine. It seems like the book was about the death of her parents and love of family. She did a great job with protraying those emotions without the added drama. Less is more. Overall, still a good book.

[Kassandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this novel. This has such a rich exploration of grief, guilt, regret and above all, the ties that bind a family together. I saw much of my family dynamic within this novel which, while scary, also gave me hope for how things can improve. The bond between the siblings is dynamic and genuine, full of love, hate, jealousy and encouragement. There is also a great complexity revealed here - that moment when we must all realize that our parents are not just our parents, but are people - full of their own lives, loves and mistakes that have nothing to do with us.

[Elisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I still think "Nowhere but home" is my LP's fav novel, but every one of her books is a treat! The way she depicts families, conflicts (within and outside families!), life...
She makes you think, feel, and think again!
Can't wait for the next one!

[Holly in Bookland · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoy reading Liza Palmer's books. I think she writes about "real" characters that most people can relate to. This book shows that we're never prepared to lose or let go of those we love and that sometimes the bonds of family is all we have to lean on.

[Mary Graham · Rating 4 out of 5]

http://www.trustychucks.com/2012/07/w...

[Neet · Rating 4 out of 5]

I honestly loved every character in this book, except for Grace. Was I the only one who had a really tough time rooting for her? I mean, she was filled with grief, and everyone handles it differently; but I just could not connect with her and I guess I just couldn't empathize with the way she dealt with people in her life.
I fell in love with her family though, Huston and Abigail and LEO. I wanted moremoremore, I just wanted to dive into their lives and find out more. I wanted to know about Huston, what drove him and what kind of person he could fall in love with. I wanted to know about how Abigail met Manny, about her kids. I wanted to know everything about Leo, his job, his short lived criminal career as a hacker. God the characters were so amazing, and their relationships with one another. Oh and I wanted to know about their parents, about the beginning of their love story. And John, I wanted to know about his childhood, moving from foster home to foster home and how he could accept Grace back in so easily.
Honestly, Liza Palmer gives you these little nuggets of just enough information and I love that I crave more but at the same time I can be satisfied with my own imagination. Definitely not the first novel I've read by her, but probably one of my favorites.

[Lola · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are a lot of good things about this book. I did enjoy it. The author is funny even when dealing with difficult emotions. The story focuses on a poignant portrayal of a family torn apart by the death of one parent, the betrayal of another, and unresolved grief.

But I have to say all the people in this story forgive dreadful, horrible actions very quickly. Old grudges are quickly set aside and the family rebounds and heals and re-unifies and it's super pretty. It's also (to me), entirely unrealistic, like a fairy tale. Who would ever step away from the warm embrace of these siblings? When I've watched families struggle with similar issues, wounds are deep, anger is retained, and reconciliation is much, much more elusive.

There's also a legal fight that is resolved SO simply and conclusively, it's barely a puff in the wind or enough to make much of a dent in anyone's consciousness. In real life such issues (even when money is not involved) are messy and bloody with emotional, logistical, and financial carnage.

[Kay · Rating 4 out of 5]

Grace Hawkes walked out at the end of her mother's funeral and disappeared from family life leaving her two brothers and sister to get along without her. It was all a part of burying the pain; cutting them out of her life meant that she did not have to feel anything. She also left behind John, the man she loved and hoped to spend the rest of her life with. Fast forward five years in which she has ignored all attempts at contact, Grace finally answers her phone because the messages are coming constantly, literally one after another, something must have happened. Her father has had a stroke and in the ICU, it is time to reunite. A fascinating book of love and families, of ties that bind, as well as money grabbing stepfamilies from hell. A very good read indeed.

[Darlene Payne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found the title of this book intriguing, and I wasn't wrong. It was very well written, and the plot kept me interested until the end. The only problem I had was with the romance part. I find it hard to believe that a person could not see an old lover for five years, see them once and just know you're still in love with them. And even more unbelievable, is that that person, who was dumped very unceremoniously and with no explanation, just immediately forgives that person and also says they love them. I would have preferred the romance was more realistic and went a bit slower, but that was the only problem I had with this book. A great read.

[Tom Heeren · Rating 5 out of 5]

A little depressing but complicated novel but as I read through each chapter (25 chapters in all), I felt empathic for Grace, Huston, Leo and Abigail Hawes as they deal with their father's stroke and his often-conning second wife, Connie who attempted to steal Ray's finances. Grace has a struggle with making amends to her four siblings after a five-year absence due to her inability to deal with Evelyn (her mother's sudden death).

Huston, Abigail, Grace and Leo have their problems to deal but in the end Ray's impending death and legal fight with Connie represent a subject: how to accept death as a part of life. Of course, the novel is like a soap opera in some ways.

Grade? A-

[Linda Hobbs]

This is the first book I read by this author and I fell in love with her writing. Strange title, but good story; sister has not seen siblings for years, travels back home to bury a father none of them really knew, mom has previously passed. Secrets are uncovered and confessions are made; truths are revealed, and sometimes, it doesn't matter, and that's ok because the you have created for yourself is a better one you thought.

[Bridget Bailey · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is not my first book by this author as I already know I like her. This was not one of my favorite books by her. I have read better ones. This was a quick read but not all that great. It was sad watching the main character go through the grief of losing her mom while losing her dad. It was a sad book but also a cute chick lit book. It's an easy quick read. Not her best book but it was a nice read.

[Shannon Fuad Deane · Rating 3 out of 5]

It could have been developed more. The story premise was good but it felt like things jumped around too much and a lot of loose ends were left with no sequel to follow. There were moments where the story resonated with me and I could feel the emotions of the characters so for that I gave 3 stars but not the best one by Liza Palmer I have read.

[Carol Bryn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Picked up this book on a whim a few years ago and finally got around to reading it. It was okay - not much to like about the main character, though. 4 estranged siblings, whose father walked out on decades before, are drawn together at his hospital bed after he suffers a stroke. Can they forgive him and come together and reconnect?

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would say the title of the book is very misleading - yes - a parent is in hospital but that's about it. Overall I did enjoy the book, skimmed the last 50 pages because I felt it went on and on for bit but I still did not put it down and I was not angry at the ending. Easy read! Something to make you think twice about your own parents funerals etc.

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was expecting this to be a humorous read based on the title. I felt no emotion for the book. I didn't like any of the characters and I don't think the author had much experience with things she wrote about - kids, siblings, fun runs! I've liked all her other books and actually had to search high and low for this one at a reasonable price. Now I know why it isn't at the library.

[Megan McQueen · Rating 5 out of 5]

For the first 75 pages, not a fan. Did not relate or agree with the main character, Grace, in any way whatsoever. That quickly changed though and just as quickly, this became one of my favorite LP books. Could not put this book down!

[Marilyn · Rating 2 out of 5]

There was no buildup or background in this story. Therefore, it was hard to understand why the characters were feeling one way or another, and hard to really care about it. I would not really recommend this one.

[Sophiene · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this one

[Mahnoor · Rating 4 out of 5]

i wasnt expecting this but well it was kinda worth it . loved the epilogue tho

[Vahishta · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit depressing and unreal.

[Darcy Odden · Rating 4 out of 5]

An uplifting story of love, loss and the power of family.

[Margo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice light summer read, a good beach book! fun, the plot was definitely not what I expected! Fun characters, I could actually see a sequel with the main character.