Choose Compassion: Why it matters and how it works

by James Kirby

When you think of compassion, what comes to mind? Kindness, understanding, tenderness, empathy, maybe warmth? Compassion can be all those things – but it is much more. Drawing on his many years of experience as a clinical psychologist and researcher, Dr James Kirby brings together hard science and real-life examples to offer a guide to a more compassionate life and society. Kirby debunks the myth that compassion is simply a feeling and shows us how it is a motivational force that can shape our behaviour and relationships with each other and the world. He considers how it might help with self-criticism, parenting and grief, and he explores what part artificial intelligence might play in a compassionate future. In this engaging and timely book, Kirby traverses philosophy, psychology and pop culture to show how we can choose compassion to make our lives healthier, happier and more meaningful.

212 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 1, 2022

Reviews

[Chris Winson · Rating 5 out of 5]

A highly informative and engaging read by a leading researcher and psychologist in the field of compassion in relation to our wellbeing and behaviours. This is not a self-help book or workbook, for example it does not cover in detail the specifics of compassionate mind training. Rather it is an overview of current research and literature relating to compassion across a number of different spheres, both clinical and non-clinical, with considerations at an individual and societal level. While James Kirby is a well established academic and researcher, his writing holds this knowledge lightly, in that he doesn’t labour the research and presents in a very readable, accessible manner. He uses the research to explain and support the points he makes, with a narrative across the book that explains what is meant by compassion, it’s role in our relationships with others and ourselves, through to collective actions. The final chapter considers the future role of technology, which was an interesting and unexpected topic to be covered. The epilogue, like the overall book, has an optimistic tone while not shying away from the challenges we face. A read that keeps your attention, makes you think, with some nice little observations and references that bring a smile, and leaves you feeling both informed and optimistic - what more could you ask for from a book.

[Brendan · Rating 5 out of 5]

“If it bleeds, it leads” is a common thread of modern media, focusing on the negative aspects of human nature which often leaves me feeling gloomy about the world and our future. Choose Compassion is a wonderful antidote to this, reframing the human psyche and behaviours in a much more positive light. Kirby has combined his years as a clinical psychologist and researcher in compassion based therapies to examine the human condition. He uses examples of patients from his clinical practice, current world events and psychology research studies to look at how humans are inherently compassionate, and how courage and wisdom are critical to choosing to live a more compassionate life. Kirby provides a different take on famous psychological experiments, such as the Stanford prison study and studies on the bystander effect, showing how they were designed to show the worst of human nature but when looked at critically actually show the amazing kindness and care that we are capable of. This book looks at how the better angels of our nature guide our daily lives and allow us to live in a society filled with so much good, even if that doesn’t make the nightly news. This is an intelligent and thoughtful book that is easy to read which left me feeling hopeful for the future, and with some new thoughts on how to embrace a more compassionate life.

[Diana · Rating 5 out of 5]

An optimistic and enlightening update on the current research into and application of human compassion in solving our problems from raising children to solving climate change.

[Catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this a surprisingly interesting read. I found it engaging from the start. Very easy to read with actual information and research that shows how actively choosing compassion positively affects your life.
Loved the pop culture references as well!!

[Dell Tellegen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved reading this book. It answered all the questions I'd ever had about compassion and also a number I would never have thought to ask. Based on solid research, it is nevertheless presented in an interesting, down to earth style. By the end, I was motivated and inspired to up my game! I would therefore highly recommend the book.

[Duncan Marckwald · Rating 5 out of 5]

Could not recommend this more. There’s something in it for everyone, and the lessons are important. It is written in a beautifully easy and interesting way, without the author taking it too seriously. Love it!

[Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is warm, engaging and full of compassionate wisdom. It gives an excellent overview of compassion, why we need it and how it works. A great book from a very knowledgable author, researcher and expert.

[Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helped me understand compassion and apply this in my everyday life with family, friends and strangers. I feel like a much better person now. Highly recommend!!

[Sally · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book changed my understanding of the word compassion. It is an easy to read book that
clearly states how putting compassion into action makes a difference to oneself and others.

[Eleni · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read and the cover of the book serves as a great visual reminder too

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5

[Daniel Pass · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read bits and pieces. Library loan. Interesting current topic. Jesus has lots to say on this.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Insightful and relevant to many of today's struggles

[Ann Koenig · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this wonderful book slowly over some months- such an excellent examination of what compassion is and how we can use it in daily life.

[Cassie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant read. Stories from Kirby’s work as a therapist are combined with research studies and popular culture examples to explain all aspects of compassion. Each chapter is fascinating and kept me interested to read more. Highly recommend you to choose this book for your next read!