YOU CAN’T COMPLETE ME: But I Can! A Self-Love Story

by Hayley Kaplan

Licensed counselor by day and recovering codependent by night…This candid memoir offers a rare insight into the messy, imperfect journey of healing oneself to find true love.

For their seventh wedding anniversary, Hayley Kaplan bought her husband a customized back scratcher as a joke. The inscription read, “For that seven-year itch.” Except she was the one who began an unexpected and torturous affair later that year.

Torn between a marriage to a good man and someone whom she considered to be her “soul mate,” her strong attachment to two very different men led Kaplan to seek professional help.

In the therapist’s office, she came to the startling realization that she was trying to fill an emotional void that seemingly had no bottom. It was only by looking inward for love that she could truly find her happily ever after.

With deep honesty and sensitivity, Kaplan examines love addiction and codependency from an insider’s perspective. Her memoir is aimed at helping others navigate their own path of healing and recovery to develop self-love and self-assurance.

Hayley Kaplan is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who draws on her unique personal and professional wisdom in her work with individuals, couples, and families.

Genres: Mental Health, Self Help

188 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 2, 2022

About the author

Hayley Kaplan, LCSW, is a therapist, nature lover, and introvert with a passion for growth and helping others thrive. She’s the author of multiple self-help books and is dedicated to empowering individuals to overcome challenges like low self-esteem and toxic relationships. When she’s not working with clients or leading workshops, you’ll find her journaling, taking long walks in nature, or enjoying a good movie with a cozy blanket. Currently pursuing a doctorate in trauma-informed care, Hayley is always learning and striving to make a positive impact one story at a time.

Reviews

[Brandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you ever purchased a book in the hopes of gaining understanding about yourself? Are you trying to find a kindred spirit in someone who can then offer some real usable advice? Have you ever read a book only to discover medical jargon and a whole lot of thoughtless clichés that means nothing to your situation and offer no viable solutions? This book is NOT that!!! Finally!!!!!

Hayley is a gifted writer and an even more intuitive therapist. While reading this book, you get an intimate glimpse of her evolution. It happens slowly and she honestly and unapologetically walks us through all of her mistakes, missteps and trauma to set an immediate tone of acceptance, comfort and understanding. I felt immediate trust for this person who was bleeding on the page for me to experience. She offered concrete examples of disordered thinking and how to reshape your mindset to allow yourself grace, understanding and self-love. Not only do we walk through Hayley’s relationships with her, but she breaks down her thoughts, motives and insecurities to help us identify some of our own triggers as well as healthier ways to overcome those feelings. Hayley delves into the need for everyone to first be comfortable in their own skin and able to take care of themselves and their own needs before hitching a ride on someone else’s version of who we are.

This book is perfect for anyone who would like an honest and accurate glimpse of how our own self-talk can jeopardize our capacity for a healthy relationship, as well as how to overcome your self-doubt and find what you deserve - happiness alone, and then happiness with someone who deserves you.

My only wish was that the book be longer. So well written, witty and, at times, laugh-out-loud funny, it also touched my heart and made me take a long look within. A++

[L. J. · Rating 4 out of 5]

The path to improvement is not a quick, easy journey; it’s very long, sometimes tiring, always tough. Wish me luck in fixing myself, slowly but surely. And I wish you luck in return. However, the only downside of this book is it’s a memoir, not a how-to guide or a typical self help book, but I suppose that’s where the workbook comes in.

[Meg Skyre · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic book!

I LOVED this book! It fell into my life when I needed it the most and has been exactly what I needed. I’ve gone to therapy for years, knew I had lots of issues but so what?! I needed to see what I was doing, learn ways to start helping myself, get the courage to face things, and start to love myself. This book put it all together and for once in my life, I feel I have a plan to start to heal and complete myself. Wow is all I have to say.
Thanks for sharing your journey with us!

[Mariah Williams · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won this book in a goodreads giveaway and felt it was well written. I liked that the author walked through the steps of her finding herself and showed that she had put in the work. It was not a quick process or an easy process but it was worth it. I think we can all be a little kinder to ourselves and set up better boundaries so this is a much needed book.

[Jenna · Rating 4 out of 5]

7/10 I received this as an ARC for my honest review. I did enjoy the book and felt that many aspects applied to me. One thing I wasn’t expecting was that it would be more of a story/memoir than a “how-to” or your typical self help book. In some ways, I liked that since it made it more readable but also struggled to apply the concepts discussed to my own life. Overall, a great book for codependents!

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thanks for the kindle copy.

[Janet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Won from Goodreads, thank you, Haley for the pretty personalized card,truly enjoyed reading your book!

[Bonnie Seiler balboa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Co dependent no more!

One of T he best self help. self love books I've read! As a an ACOA I'm
A peacekeeper and people pleaser. This book told n
Me I'm not alone. I can heal my heart myself!

[Rhonda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice book where you follow the author on her personal journey to finding herself and self growth. Definitely be a great book for someone that feels they aren't complete unless they have a partner. Learn to love you first. You are enough all by yourself.

[Erica Mees · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my friend who wrote this book. I really enjoyed it and got a lot of great advice from it. I recommend it 100%!

[Liz Brooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am grateful to have received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily. This was a thought-provoking, honest, vulnerable, and insightful memoir, that shared lessons and experiences from which many of us can learn. I was more engaged in and drawn into the memoir in the first half rather than the second, however, I tend to prefer more fast paced reads while I understand and respect that many readers may prefer the more detailed and introspective second half of the book. Nonetheless, there is much to learn from this author's experiences and insights, and it is further supported by her clinical knowledge and perspectives. It is definitely encouraging for each of us to focus on our own self-love journey.