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Girls, Assassins, and Other Bad Ideas... A Memoir
The only daughter of a bipolar woman, Mae’s childhood innocence was bartered for the ease of a “secure” life. At twelve years old and after years of abuse, Mae realizes she must fight for herself. When she is sent away from her family, she’s forced to navigate years of abandonment in a children’s home.
Throughout her turbulent adolescence and well into adulthood, the need to be seen as enough and the ache to become a mother shaped her life. It is this heartbreaking journey that leads to her deepest loss.
Girls, Assassins & Other Bad Ideas is a collection of personal essays shining light where abuse and trauma-induced shame brought darkness. As life often led toward grief, Mae reflects back on her most shattering moments—nearly always tied to the women she loved the deepest. The poignant reflections through Mae’s heartbreak, grief and eventual self-acceptance will serve as an inspiration to those navigating hardship and trauma, reminding us we are not alone.
Throughout her turbulent adolescence and well into adulthood, the need to be seen as enough and the ache to become a mother shaped her life. It is this heartbreaking journey that leads to her deepest loss.
Girls, Assassins & Other Bad Ideas is a collection of personal essays shining light where abuse and trauma-induced shame brought darkness. As life often led toward grief, Mae reflects back on her most shattering moments—nearly always tied to the women she loved the deepest. The poignant reflections through Mae’s heartbreak, grief and eventual self-acceptance will serve as an inspiration to those navigating hardship and trauma, reminding us we are not alone.
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Published August 22, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 47 reviews
August 5, 2022
After I finished this book it took me several days to gather my thoughts and come to terms with how I felt about it. Based on true events in the author’s life, it is by no means an easy or a fast read. Rather it is a book that demands the reader take their time, pay attention, and read and absorb every word. Some books are so fluffy you can devour them in a day but this one took me a couple of weeks to read it.
It left me full of admiration for the protagonist, Misty, whom I assume is the author. The struggles that she endured and overcame make this very much a story about a life survived, rather than lived. It is also very much a book set in a specific place – the States – and my British mind found it hard to comprehend the Bible camps the author spoke of. Places, where children can simply be abandoned for years at a stretch to be indoctrinated into an almost cult-like community without Social Services once stepping in, was a concept that baffled and alarmed me.
It is a very well written book and the literary tone and pacing of the book were reminiscent of the Lake Woebegon books by that great American author Keillor Garrison. However, the slow pace may not be to everyone’s tastes. In this age of instant gratification and shortened attention spans, many will find this book too difficult and complex to master and will lay it down, unfinished. They would be missing out on an extraordinary journey that we take with the author.
Brutally honest about her life, the relationships that shaped the woman she became, and even about herself, this raw and compelling narrative tugs at the heartstrings. As a mother myself, I found the relationship between Misty and her mother particularly hard to read and more than once had to take a deep breath, walk away from the book, and then return when I had calmed myself.
A poignant and profoundly moving read, it is not for the faint-hearted but is one that will richly reward the patient reader who takes the time to stay the course until the triumphant finish.
It left me full of admiration for the protagonist, Misty, whom I assume is the author. The struggles that she endured and overcame make this very much a story about a life survived, rather than lived. It is also very much a book set in a specific place – the States – and my British mind found it hard to comprehend the Bible camps the author spoke of. Places, where children can simply be abandoned for years at a stretch to be indoctrinated into an almost cult-like community without Social Services once stepping in, was a concept that baffled and alarmed me.
It is a very well written book and the literary tone and pacing of the book were reminiscent of the Lake Woebegon books by that great American author Keillor Garrison. However, the slow pace may not be to everyone’s tastes. In this age of instant gratification and shortened attention spans, many will find this book too difficult and complex to master and will lay it down, unfinished. They would be missing out on an extraordinary journey that we take with the author.
Brutally honest about her life, the relationships that shaped the woman she became, and even about herself, this raw and compelling narrative tugs at the heartstrings. As a mother myself, I found the relationship between Misty and her mother particularly hard to read and more than once had to take a deep breath, walk away from the book, and then return when I had calmed myself.
A poignant and profoundly moving read, it is not for the faint-hearted but is one that will richly reward the patient reader who takes the time to stay the course until the triumphant finish.
August 28, 2022
Mae and I grew up in the same town, same grade, same classes... She was the girl who disappeared from our class roll call. While many may have known what happened, I honestly had no idea until we reconnected a while back via social media.
This story is proof that you NEVER know what someone is going through. It absolutely made my heart ache to now know what she’s endured and I’m in awe of her ability to forgive.
Mae - Thank you for letting us know we aren’t alone in our trauma, pain, and struggles. You are an absolute light and I’m thankful to have connected with you again. ❤️
This story is proof that you NEVER know what someone is going through. It absolutely made my heart ache to now know what she’s endured and I’m in awe of her ability to forgive.
Mae - Thank you for letting us know we aren’t alone in our trauma, pain, and struggles. You are an absolute light and I’m thankful to have connected with you again. ❤️
August 18, 2022
Wow, you know one of those books that you can’t stop thinking about, even weeks after you’ve finished reading it?
Yeah, this was one of those for me.
It was such a hauntingly beautiful read, and I feel so honoured and privileged that I had a sneak peak into Mae’s life and upbringing. In fact, I had many late nights reading this, as I was unable to put it down.
Throughout the book, the author had a different song dedicated to the chapter. One of those songs caught my attention, and I’ve had it playing non-stop since. Even as I write this review, I’m listening to one of those songs “Hello my old heart” by “The Oh Hellos”.
I feel like this song encapsulates perfectly Mae’s life-story. My heart still breaks for the little girl that she was, and I wish I could go and give her a big hug, and tell her how brave and strong and resilient she was. That even though she was facing all of these horrendous traumas, that she ends up living such a beautiful life. I know Mae, that little-girl you would be so proud.
As someone who had a career working with young people in out-of-home care, there were many moments when I questioned myself and hoped to God that I did an okay job. This book reminded me of all the teenagers that I’ve crossed paths with. Teenagers who were displaced and faced their own traumas. Reading this book took my breath away, sped up my heart rate, and prayed that those teenagers felt loved and cared by me. I often wonder how these teenagers are, and what sort of adults they grew up to be. This book has given me a glimmer of hope, that perhaps they’re okay, and that they too found strength and resilience to build a beautiful life for themselves.
This book will crack you open. At times you may need to put it down- just to process and check in with yourself. But it’s a worthwhile read. As I said earlier- a hauntingly beautiful read. A read that will impact on your life and want you to be a better person.
Yeah, this was one of those for me.
It was such a hauntingly beautiful read, and I feel so honoured and privileged that I had a sneak peak into Mae’s life and upbringing. In fact, I had many late nights reading this, as I was unable to put it down.
Throughout the book, the author had a different song dedicated to the chapter. One of those songs caught my attention, and I’ve had it playing non-stop since. Even as I write this review, I’m listening to one of those songs “Hello my old heart” by “The Oh Hellos”.
I feel like this song encapsulates perfectly Mae’s life-story. My heart still breaks for the little girl that she was, and I wish I could go and give her a big hug, and tell her how brave and strong and resilient she was. That even though she was facing all of these horrendous traumas, that she ends up living such a beautiful life. I know Mae, that little-girl you would be so proud.
As someone who had a career working with young people in out-of-home care, there were many moments when I questioned myself and hoped to God that I did an okay job. This book reminded me of all the teenagers that I’ve crossed paths with. Teenagers who were displaced and faced their own traumas. Reading this book took my breath away, sped up my heart rate, and prayed that those teenagers felt loved and cared by me. I often wonder how these teenagers are, and what sort of adults they grew up to be. This book has given me a glimmer of hope, that perhaps they’re okay, and that they too found strength and resilience to build a beautiful life for themselves.
This book will crack you open. At times you may need to put it down- just to process and check in with yourself. But it’s a worthwhile read. As I said earlier- a hauntingly beautiful read. A read that will impact on your life and want you to be a better person.
August 15, 2022
Mae's story is achingly real, layered and woven in a way that juxtaposes the horrors of violation and abandonment against the ordinary. What's normal to a child that knows no other way of being? What's an appropriate amount of emotion and responsibility for a child to hold, especially in the presence of a child-like parent who does not show up for, let alone protect, her young daughter? Over and over again I had the same thought while reading: this book will help other parentified children who have parents with unmanaged mental illness to feel less alone in their experiences.
June 8, 2022
It's very, very brave to write a memoir.
We say it is hard to write a book, and it is, but fiction, though it takes time to come together, is just that, a made-up story.
When you write about your life and experiences, you are opening yourself up to the world. And when your life story is filled with hardships and difficulties, it is even tougher as you relive times in your life you might rather not think about.
Mae Wagner is this brave soul right now. Girls, Assassins and Other Bad Ideas is a book filled with some harrowing experiences she suffered as she grew up and even in young adulthood; however, there is this ring of positivity within everything she writes about.
Primarily, this is about her relationship with her mother - a woman with her own mental health difficulties, who swung between loving and loathing her daughter to such extremes that Mae was separated from her family for many years.
I felt emotional pulls as I read how she had to deal with abuse, then was sent to the Christian Ranch and never brought back her clamouring for validation and affection, and the troubles with her own chances at motherhood...
It's not an easy read, by any stretch, but you are left feeling the heartache of a young girl who just wants her mother's love.
Beautifully sad.
We say it is hard to write a book, and it is, but fiction, though it takes time to come together, is just that, a made-up story.
When you write about your life and experiences, you are opening yourself up to the world. And when your life story is filled with hardships and difficulties, it is even tougher as you relive times in your life you might rather not think about.
Mae Wagner is this brave soul right now. Girls, Assassins and Other Bad Ideas is a book filled with some harrowing experiences she suffered as she grew up and even in young adulthood; however, there is this ring of positivity within everything she writes about.
Primarily, this is about her relationship with her mother - a woman with her own mental health difficulties, who swung between loving and loathing her daughter to such extremes that Mae was separated from her family for many years.
I felt emotional pulls as I read how she had to deal with abuse, then was sent to the Christian Ranch and never brought back her clamouring for validation and affection, and the troubles with her own chances at motherhood...
It's not an easy read, by any stretch, but you are left feeling the heartache of a young girl who just wants her mother's love.
Beautifully sad.
August 28, 2022
When the author invited me to read an advanced copy of her memoir, Girls, Assassins & Other Bad Ideas, I was so excited for the privilege. Mae is a wonderful, supportive presence in the writing community, especially when it comes to uplifting fellow female artists. It's an honor to have the opportunity to support a project she's clearly poured her heart into.
Girls, Assassins & Other Bad Ideas is a raw, honest account of the profound effect motherhood has had on her life in its many forms. At times, it was hard to read (I wanted to hug her so many times throughout the book), but the courage in her vulnerability and openness to share her story is truly inspiring.
It's a story of perseverance, forgiveness, and self-love. One of the things that struck me most, over and over again, was the importance of kindness and compassion toward others — and toward ourselves. Mae is a beautiful example of the remarkable strength of the human spirit.
This book will undoubtedly make someone feel seen, understood, and less alone in the world. It's the kind you sit with long after you’ve finished the last page and will carry with you for years to come.
Thank you for opening your heart and sharing a piece of it with us, Mae, and reminding us that though life is a messy, painful, imperfect, and mysterious journey, we all share something in common: our inherent worthiness to be loved.
Girls, Assassins & Other Bad Ideas is a raw, honest account of the profound effect motherhood has had on her life in its many forms. At times, it was hard to read (I wanted to hug her so many times throughout the book), but the courage in her vulnerability and openness to share her story is truly inspiring.
It's a story of perseverance, forgiveness, and self-love. One of the things that struck me most, over and over again, was the importance of kindness and compassion toward others — and toward ourselves. Mae is a beautiful example of the remarkable strength of the human spirit.
This book will undoubtedly make someone feel seen, understood, and less alone in the world. It's the kind you sit with long after you’ve finished the last page and will carry with you for years to come.
Thank you for opening your heart and sharing a piece of it with us, Mae, and reminding us that though life is a messy, painful, imperfect, and mysterious journey, we all share something in common: our inherent worthiness to be loved.
August 22, 2022
Mae Wagner has crafted a book that is nearly impossible to put down. Girls, Assassins, and Other Bad Ideas is a powerful memoir and a celebration of an indomitable spirit.
It would be a disservice to describe this story simply as overcoming childhood trauma. While Mae Wagner's life was indeed traumatic, there is a thread of resilience that runs through every memory she shares. Rather than dwell on injustices of her past, she leaves us with a sense of hope.
Candid and, at times, brutally honest about her upbringing, Mae doesn’t pull any punches. She is committed to speaking her truth and that truth holds power. In sharing her story, she lifts the blanket of shame that plagues so many sexual abuse survivors, creating a path toward healing.
This book is for anyone who has fought against the darkness and prevailed.
I spent days agonizing over the best way to describe this book for potential readers. In the end, I realized that Mae herself says it best: "The beating heart of this work is about connection and humanity, growth, failure, resilience and love. Always, always, it is about love."
It would be a disservice to describe this story simply as overcoming childhood trauma. While Mae Wagner's life was indeed traumatic, there is a thread of resilience that runs through every memory she shares. Rather than dwell on injustices of her past, she leaves us with a sense of hope.
Candid and, at times, brutally honest about her upbringing, Mae doesn’t pull any punches. She is committed to speaking her truth and that truth holds power. In sharing her story, she lifts the blanket of shame that plagues so many sexual abuse survivors, creating a path toward healing.
This book is for anyone who has fought against the darkness and prevailed.
I spent days agonizing over the best way to describe this book for potential readers. In the end, I realized that Mae herself says it best: "The beating heart of this work is about connection and humanity, growth, failure, resilience and love. Always, always, it is about love."
August 19, 2022
Living in grey spaces there is love.
We talk about the gray, unclear, spaces in our lives, but somehow we don’t always validate that they exist. Mae Wagner’s memoir, Girls, Assassins, and Other Bad Ideas not only shares the unknown spaces of complicated relationships with you like a best friend, but her words magically reflect on the gray places of acceptance in the reader’s own life.
As I slowly digested Wagner’s raw, beautiful prose, I found myself searching for the unknown love that I failed to see in my own complicated relationships with my mother and grandmother.
Wagner writes about her own life outside of black and white relationships with a strength to be admired, “. . . I had no choice but to reflect on the status of my own illumination. I once again stared down at my own Vegas Strip collection of neon signs displaying how I hadn’t been enough and I’d been easy to leave. I lived in that dark space so many times.”
Her story was not like mine. And yet, as I read this memoir, in ways it was. This memoir changed my perspective on life’s complexities, our relationships, and how I see myself inside them. “We are not more valuable because people love us, just as our worth does not diminish when they do not.” -Mae Wagner
A highly recommend this book.
We talk about the gray, unclear, spaces in our lives, but somehow we don’t always validate that they exist. Mae Wagner’s memoir, Girls, Assassins, and Other Bad Ideas not only shares the unknown spaces of complicated relationships with you like a best friend, but her words magically reflect on the gray places of acceptance in the reader’s own life.
As I slowly digested Wagner’s raw, beautiful prose, I found myself searching for the unknown love that I failed to see in my own complicated relationships with my mother and grandmother.
Wagner writes about her own life outside of black and white relationships with a strength to be admired, “. . . I had no choice but to reflect on the status of my own illumination. I once again stared down at my own Vegas Strip collection of neon signs displaying how I hadn’t been enough and I’d been easy to leave. I lived in that dark space so many times.”
Her story was not like mine. And yet, as I read this memoir, in ways it was. This memoir changed my perspective on life’s complexities, our relationships, and how I see myself inside them. “We are not more valuable because people love us, just as our worth does not diminish when they do not.” -Mae Wagner
A highly recommend this book.
August 6, 2022
The perfect book for book clubs. Or therapy offices.
If you’re brave enough!
Reading about children going through trauma is HARD. Do you say, “I liked it.”?
“I felt this book so deeply.” is truer.
Mae Wagner is unflinchingly honest about the series of traumatic events peppered throughout her childhood, teen, and young adult years. I felt angry for her, sad for her, and found myself dumbfounded by choices of those around her.
Usually a quick reader, as a survivor of childhood trauma as well I had to take this one slow. Then, I couldn’t leave it for more than a day or so before I had to come back to read “just a bit more” to this little girl who wrapped herself around my heart.
Mae Wagner’s memoir makes readers ask about the nature of family relationships and how the trauma experienced when we are young informs our personality, our identity, and our own life choices. Through each of the essay chapters, written as a sort of letter to prominent figures in that season of her life, Mae Wagner’s style as she reveals her story compels her readers to consider what choices we each make as a result of the trauma we experience. Under each essay is a song title, creating a whole playlist (available on Spotify!) which lends an additional visceral layer to the experience of this read. The authenticity and raw honest nature of the essays invites readers to examine all the messy ways we feel about those who perpetrate, perpetuate and stand idle during times of trauma, and provokes the often unasked question of one’s own culpability and responsibility in who a survivor ultimately becomes.
It was a read I mulled over for literally weeks after I read the last page, and it sparked more than one deep discussion around the dinner table (one entirely about the meaning behind the title!).
That’s why I rate “Girls, Assassins, and Other Bad Ideas” with 5 stars and heartily recommend to book clubs who are willing to go to the next level in authentic relationship and community.
A most compelling read.
If you’re brave enough!
Reading about children going through trauma is HARD. Do you say, “I liked it.”?
“I felt this book so deeply.” is truer.
Mae Wagner is unflinchingly honest about the series of traumatic events peppered throughout her childhood, teen, and young adult years. I felt angry for her, sad for her, and found myself dumbfounded by choices of those around her.
Usually a quick reader, as a survivor of childhood trauma as well I had to take this one slow. Then, I couldn’t leave it for more than a day or so before I had to come back to read “just a bit more” to this little girl who wrapped herself around my heart.
Mae Wagner’s memoir makes readers ask about the nature of family relationships and how the trauma experienced when we are young informs our personality, our identity, and our own life choices. Through each of the essay chapters, written as a sort of letter to prominent figures in that season of her life, Mae Wagner’s style as she reveals her story compels her readers to consider what choices we each make as a result of the trauma we experience. Under each essay is a song title, creating a whole playlist (available on Spotify!) which lends an additional visceral layer to the experience of this read. The authenticity and raw honest nature of the essays invites readers to examine all the messy ways we feel about those who perpetrate, perpetuate and stand idle during times of trauma, and provokes the often unasked question of one’s own culpability and responsibility in who a survivor ultimately becomes.
It was a read I mulled over for literally weeks after I read the last page, and it sparked more than one deep discussion around the dinner table (one entirely about the meaning behind the title!).
That’s why I rate “Girls, Assassins, and Other Bad Ideas” with 5 stars and heartily recommend to book clubs who are willing to go to the next level in authentic relationship and community.
A most compelling read.
August 19, 2022
“But when I needed to be saved, I saved myself.”
Mae Wagner retells the story of her complicated life, one many would never escape from. From a young age she found the power inside herself to navigate trauma of multiple forms and heal. This beautiful memoir is a fascinating retelling of her life in short essay form. Thanks Mae for bravely telling the world this story. It is painful and powerful, an example and a guide of how to navigate this hard world and come out the other side with hope and healing.
Mae Wagner retells the story of her complicated life, one many would never escape from. From a young age she found the power inside herself to navigate trauma of multiple forms and heal. This beautiful memoir is a fascinating retelling of her life in short essay form. Thanks Mae for bravely telling the world this story. It is painful and powerful, an example and a guide of how to navigate this hard world and come out the other side with hope and healing.
August 23, 2022
This is the most powerful memoir I’ve ever read. It’s raw, it’s honest, it’s painful, it’s authentic and is so beautifully written. I felt every word from beginning to end. Mae, thank you for sharing your truth!
August 14, 2022
As a mother, I wanted to dive into parts of this book and protect the little girl on the pages. I wanted to shield her from the heartache around her and give her the birthday gifts that she wanted. And on the other hand, I rooted for her, because these pages contain the story perseverance. Embedded in almost every vignette is some joyous lesson, moment, or observation that seemingly kept the author moving forward. It's hard to reconcile the fact that the story contained within this book is the same as life held by the author. I wanted to cry when the author was told that she had "screwed up her life." "Girls, Assassins, and Other Bad Ideas..." reminded me of this quote: "I am in awe of flowers. Not because of their colors, but because even though they have dirt in their roots, they still grow. They still bloom." Highly, highly recommend this beautiful memoir.
August 15, 2022
A hard hitting and poignant series of essays that bring together the narrative of a little girl, an adolescent, a young woman, and adult on the search to discover unconditional love. The exploration of trauma, abuse and mental health in the unapologetic time of church-culture legalism and 80’s misogyny, offering a harsh look at how impactful the collateral damage each left behind in the discovery of self. As Mae explores the odyssey to assemble a life based on external love, she comes to terms with the understanding it always had to start with herself, but ultimately, her journey was necessary to discover it. Difficult but beautiful, a very important read.
August 8, 2022
Girls, Assassins, and Other Bad Ideas... A Memoir
Mae Wagner
I do not even know where to begin with this review. Mae does an absolutely incredible job of not only telling her story, but bringing you, the reader, into her world. Knowing Mae personally, it is heart-wrenching to read the details of her abuse and her treatment in the children's home. More than anything, I am personally blown away by Mae's resilience and endurance; her unwavering choice to choose love every time.
Everyone should read this book and let Mae encourage you no matter what your background or experience. There is not one person on this earth who cannot relate to her need for, yet determination to show, unconditional love.
Mae WagnerI do not even know where to begin with this review. Mae does an absolutely incredible job of not only telling her story, but bringing you, the reader, into her world. Knowing Mae personally, it is heart-wrenching to read the details of her abuse and her treatment in the children's home. More than anything, I am personally blown away by Mae's resilience and endurance; her unwavering choice to choose love every time.
Everyone should read this book and let Mae encourage you no matter what your background or experience. There is not one person on this earth who cannot relate to her need for, yet determination to show, unconditional love.
August 13, 2022
I had the absolutely honour of reading an ARC copy, and wow. I think I’m speechless. Do not sleep on this book. It can easily be put on a shelf next to the memoir greats.
Mae Wagner’s life story is heartbreaking and tender, and peppered with a humorous perspective. It was, at times, hard to read, but Mae’s own strength and resilience are loud on the page.
One things for certain, this book made me want to live life, like truly live life, and remember not to take the good people for granted. While reading, I often found myself contemplating the big picture, the webs that create it, and events that make us who we are.
Mae Wagner’s life story is heartbreaking and tender, and peppered with a humorous perspective. It was, at times, hard to read, but Mae’s own strength and resilience are loud on the page.
One things for certain, this book made me want to live life, like truly live life, and remember not to take the good people for granted. While reading, I often found myself contemplating the big picture, the webs that create it, and events that make us who we are.
August 5, 2022
Mae Wagner’s Girls, Assassins, and Other Bad Ideas is absolutely gripping. Once I started, I had a hard time putting it down, though admittedly I took my time getting through it. It is not a light read, by any means, but Mae’s storytelling draws you into each essay and you feel as though you are both watching the story unfold and having a conversation with the author. It felt like she was sharing her life story with you over tea, weaving a narrative that you get absolutely lost in and inspired by, and ultimately cracks your heart wide open.
Though some of the materials is tough to read, bearing witness to Mae’s life through her words is a treasure. You both root for her on every page and also want to hold her by the shoulders, look her in the eyes, and tell her every truth she needs to hear with all the love you can muster. These essays hold so much love and loss, and yet Mae is forever hopeful — I left this book with a strong admiration and reverence for her consistent resilience and survival. No one should have to go through what she went through.
The way she weaves the seasons and stories of her life together is incredibly beautiful, and she is living proof that those stories, relationships, and old beliefs from your past don’t have to hold you hostage. A must-read!
Though some of the materials is tough to read, bearing witness to Mae’s life through her words is a treasure. You both root for her on every page and also want to hold her by the shoulders, look her in the eyes, and tell her every truth she needs to hear with all the love you can muster. These essays hold so much love and loss, and yet Mae is forever hopeful — I left this book with a strong admiration and reverence for her consistent resilience and survival. No one should have to go through what she went through.
The way she weaves the seasons and stories of her life together is incredibly beautiful, and she is living proof that those stories, relationships, and old beliefs from your past don’t have to hold you hostage. A must-read!
August 4, 2022
One Chapter a Day
With a charming title and a built in playlist, Girls, Assassins, and Other Bad Ideas by Mae Wagner may seem like a breezy memoir, but it is not. Instead, you'll find yourself immersed in a poignant collection of incidents and memories, viewed through the healing lense of time, that come together to form a painful picture. It's a heavy book but the memories are shared with lyrical frankness and a tone of something that is not quite forgiveness, but much more than understanding. Even though our stories are not the same, it was easy see beyond the uncomfortable things detailed to find the common thread of the human need to be loved and to belong in each chapter.
I truly appreciate the effort it took to commit these memories to paper and I highly recommend this book.
With a charming title and a built in playlist, Girls, Assassins, and Other Bad Ideas by Mae Wagner may seem like a breezy memoir, but it is not. Instead, you'll find yourself immersed in a poignant collection of incidents and memories, viewed through the healing lense of time, that come together to form a painful picture. It's a heavy book but the memories are shared with lyrical frankness and a tone of something that is not quite forgiveness, but much more than understanding. Even though our stories are not the same, it was easy see beyond the uncomfortable things detailed to find the common thread of the human need to be loved and to belong in each chapter.
I truly appreciate the effort it took to commit these memories to paper and I highly recommend this book.
July 28, 2022
What hides behind a smile? Sometimes it’s impossible to know. The layers, the complexities, the buried trauma… all disguised by an innocent tug of the lips. Mae Wagner’s, Girls, Assassins, & Other Bad Ideas digs deep, unveiling the hurt and uncovering the truth of a young girl’s journey into womanhood. I cried tears of anger and I laughed hard at the moments of light. Each word penned in this stirring memoir of self-discovery and acceptance left me speechless and flooded with a range of emotion.
Mae is a gifted storyteller. Her words penetrated my heart with each turn of the page and left me with a deep appreciation for her struggles and triumphs. It’s true, her story is one of heartbreak, but also a coming-of-age tale that instilled in me a sense of humility. It’s incredible what silent struggles we all face (and hide behind).
Girls, Assassins, & Other Bad Ideas is a must read. Mae’s life story struck me in a way I’ve never experienced before. Her unique reflection on life, hope, and relationships brought me comfort—and shifted my perspectives on what (and who) I hold closest to my heart. If you’re looking for a book that’ll fill your soul with gratitude, look no further than Mae’s memoir. Most certainly, you will walk away humbled and with a far deeper appreciation for those who travelled a different path than your own.
Mae is a gifted storyteller. Her words penetrated my heart with each turn of the page and left me with a deep appreciation for her struggles and triumphs. It’s true, her story is one of heartbreak, but also a coming-of-age tale that instilled in me a sense of humility. It’s incredible what silent struggles we all face (and hide behind).
Girls, Assassins, & Other Bad Ideas is a must read. Mae’s life story struck me in a way I’ve never experienced before. Her unique reflection on life, hope, and relationships brought me comfort—and shifted my perspectives on what (and who) I hold closest to my heart. If you’re looking for a book that’ll fill your soul with gratitude, look no further than Mae’s memoir. Most certainly, you will walk away humbled and with a far deeper appreciation for those who travelled a different path than your own.
August 4, 2022
To say this book touched me, would be an understatement. Having gone through trauma myself, I felt very connected to the author’s story. The most beautiful thing of all, was the way in which all was presented, left me feeling empowered and hopeful. Bravo to this amazing woman.
September 5, 2022
This book is so powerful. You will find yourself laughing, deeply sad, and reflective. But, overall, you will root for that teen girl who has to overcome too many setbacks.
July 30, 2022
Honest, raw, and inspiring. This is the story of a little girl who endured every kind of abuse at the hands of those who were supposed to care for her. Of a young woman plagued by physical and emotional trauma. Of a mother struggling to create a family. Of a person who learns that the love she so desperately needed to receive and give was right there inside of her all along. Mae Wagner's journey will break your heart, but also fill you with hope.
July 29, 2022
An absolutely fantastic, raw, heartbreaking, beautiful story of growth, and healing. Such a memorable memoir that makes you laugh and cry all at once.
February 7, 2023
Wow. Talk about storytelling power! I found myself waking up early just to squeeze in an extra chapter or two before my day got started because I so enjoyed the way Mae told her story. With honesty and vulnerability but never cynicism or bitterness (which, let’s be honest, with so much of what she shares it would’ve been so easy to feel!), the reader is brought into the realities of her childhood and teenage years, getting to know the personalities and quirks and flaws of the people in her life in ways that are often relatable but also unique to her story. You’ll fall in love with some and feel disdain for others. But in the end you’ll see how it all comes together to weave a tapestry of beauty and hope.
Mae shares shocking but true experiences growing up in an abusive home, but not just for the sake of sharing. She opens up her story and heart so the reader can also be amazed by the hope that emerges.
Mae shares shocking but true experiences growing up in an abusive home, but not just for the sake of sharing. She opens up her story and heart so the reader can also be amazed by the hope that emerges.
March 3, 2023
This story grabbed my heart. At times, it was breathtakingly painful, and I got mad at the people who should have protected her, but the story was overall so beautifully redemptive, but without a saccharine tie-up that might ring false. This book is true, on the deepest levels, with all the beauty and pain truth requires.
July 24, 2023
I'm a fan of the cover art. The blurb is indicative of the mood of this book. I've had to grab my handkerchief, stare out the window as I reevaluate life, and take breaks. It's unbelievable nonfiction. Sections are titled after seasons. Chapter titles are followed by a dedication to a person and a song title. This adds to the appeal.
I cried while reading about her grandfather's death. I don't think I'll ever not be upset about abusive mothers. Her mother's boyfriend kissing and marking her, and her mother bearing silent witness, is a horrible thing to happen to anyone. I'm so sorry for the ordeals she had to go through in her miscarriage and adoptive parent journey. Creating a family isn't easy. Being a mother figure isn't easy. Such voices need more room in the literary landscape.
If you liked Educated by Tara Westover, try this book.
I received a complimentary review copy of the book from the author via Equality Book Tours on Instagram and am voluntarily leaving an honest review.
I cried while reading about her grandfather's death. I don't think I'll ever not be upset about abusive mothers. Her mother's boyfriend kissing and marking her, and her mother bearing silent witness, is a horrible thing to happen to anyone. I'm so sorry for the ordeals she had to go through in her miscarriage and adoptive parent journey. Creating a family isn't easy. Being a mother figure isn't easy. Such voices need more room in the literary landscape.
If you liked Educated by Tara Westover, try this book.
I received a complimentary review copy of the book from the author via Equality Book Tours on Instagram and am voluntarily leaving an honest review.
August 18, 2022
One Woman's Survival and Strngth
It's hard to hear about any person's struggles, even when those like the author, Mae Wagner, experience a relationship with God that sustains and strengthens. Wagner's story feels particularly painful; yet, the love she experienced from God soothes. I avoid hard emotion in books or movies, but Wagner's prose comforted me along the way as if she held my hand, helping me to embrace the light along the dark paths in her life. It is obvious as a reader that Wagner genuinely cares, not only for her mother and others who hurt her, but for her readers.
The creativity in Wagner's essays astound me, especially the way she added seasons and a playlist to the format of this book.
As a Christian feminist, I appreciated how Wagner portrayed the strain of reconciling a relationship with God and with evangelical culture. Knowing God's real love clearly carries Wagner through incredibly hard times.
Overall, Mae Wagner's memoir (in essay form) inspired me to lean into God's love and freedom.
It's hard to hear about any person's struggles, even when those like the author, Mae Wagner, experience a relationship with God that sustains and strengthens. Wagner's story feels particularly painful; yet, the love she experienced from God soothes. I avoid hard emotion in books or movies, but Wagner's prose comforted me along the way as if she held my hand, helping me to embrace the light along the dark paths in her life. It is obvious as a reader that Wagner genuinely cares, not only for her mother and others who hurt her, but for her readers.
The creativity in Wagner's essays astound me, especially the way she added seasons and a playlist to the format of this book.
As a Christian feminist, I appreciated how Wagner portrayed the strain of reconciling a relationship with God and with evangelical culture. Knowing God's real love clearly carries Wagner through incredibly hard times.
Overall, Mae Wagner's memoir (in essay form) inspired me to lean into God's love and freedom.
August 1, 2022
This memoir will break you open in the most beautiful way. There's truth on the page that will strengthen your own journey. Mae's words have continued to stay with me -
'This life has taught me the courage to hold tight, fight hard, and to let go'
This is a must read.
'This life has taught me the courage to hold tight, fight hard, and to let go'
This is a must read.
May 28, 2023
Girls, Assassins, and Other Bad Ideas... a memoir is not a fast nor easy read. It will require you to set aside any triggers you may have, pay attention to every detail, and absorb every word.
It takes a brave soul to tell their life story. Mae, or Misty as she goes by in the memoir, tells us her story of survival. The struggles she had to endure and the many she still experiences daily are not for the faint of heart.
From having an abusive/neglectful mother to sexual assault and suicidal thoughts to miscarriage and divorce. Misty is brutally honest about her life thus far, the relationships that shaped her into the woman she became.
The book is well written, with a pace that allows you to soak in the terror that was (and still is).
The author set each chapter with a dedication song. I added them all to a Spotify playlist and listened to each song once I was finished with its respective chapter.
These songs will pull on your heartstrings, and combined with Misty's truth, you don't stand a chance.
Take your time reading this one. It's okay to set it aside and process.
It takes a brave soul to tell their life story. Mae, or Misty as she goes by in the memoir, tells us her story of survival. The struggles she had to endure and the many she still experiences daily are not for the faint of heart.
From having an abusive/neglectful mother to sexual assault and suicidal thoughts to miscarriage and divorce. Misty is brutally honest about her life thus far, the relationships that shaped her into the woman she became.
The book is well written, with a pace that allows you to soak in the terror that was (and still is).
The author set each chapter with a dedication song. I added them all to a Spotify playlist and listened to each song once I was finished with its respective chapter.
These songs will pull on your heartstrings, and combined with Misty's truth, you don't stand a chance.
Take your time reading this one. It's okay to set it aside and process.
November 3, 2025
Everyone experiences a book differently, and for me, Mae Wagner’s memoir was deeply emotional. It touches on so many aspects of life, like parenthood, the tenderness and pain of early childhood, family relationships, miscarriages, motherhood, and self-acceptance. The chapters quietly tug at your heart, taking you from the vulnerability of a little girl to the young woman who ultimately finds the strength to recognize that she is the only one who can save herself.
There are many things I want to say/share about this memoir, but one must read it to understand the author's story. What it truly left me with is this: life doesn’t always give you a moment to breathe, yet it never forgets to sprinkle in light and hope to help you keep going, even through despair. So, to all the brave (young) ones: hold on to that hope, that light, that tiny sprinkle of happiness. Keep looking for it, and never stop, even when you’re tired.
There are many things I want to say/share about this memoir, but one must read it to understand the author's story. What it truly left me with is this: life doesn’t always give you a moment to breathe, yet it never forgets to sprinkle in light and hope to help you keep going, even through despair. So, to all the brave (young) ones: hold on to that hope, that light, that tiny sprinkle of happiness. Keep looking for it, and never stop, even when you’re tired.
December 22, 2022
Girls, Assassins, and Other Bad Ideas is a heartbreaking memoir about childhood trauma and the life long effects that result from it. I loved how the author balanced the future and past throughout the letters, it showed a spectacular ability to connect the timelines. I found the author's ability to show her childhood POV and show the lasting affects, that only the adult can see now that time has passed.
I've worked with children in the foster system and children who come from unstable homes, and this book was a great reminder that while things have changed regarding protecting children, in many ways all the issues are still present today. This book provided a great perspective into the mind of a child who grew up in an unstable household and the lasting effects of their relationships, decisions, and self-worth.
I've worked with children in the foster system and children who come from unstable homes, and this book was a great reminder that while things have changed regarding protecting children, in many ways all the issues are still present today. This book provided a great perspective into the mind of a child who grew up in an unstable household and the lasting effects of their relationships, decisions, and self-worth.
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