At My Father's Wedding : Men Coming to Terms With Their Fathers and Themselves/Audio Cassettes

by John H. Lee

Discusses the impact on men of a father's abandonment and explains how men can develop a masculine model to help overcome the inability to give, receive, and express feelings. Book available.

Genres: Psychology

Audio Cassette

First published October 1, 1991

About the author

John Lee is a pioneer in the fields of self-help, anger management, co-dependency, emotional regression, recovery, emotional intelligence, relationships, and men’s issues. His highly innovative work in these fields has made him an in-demand consultant, teacher, trainer, life coach, and speaker. His contributions in these fields have put him in the national spotlight for over 35 years.

Reviews

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is one man's heartfelt explanation of his own relationship with his father, and how he used that to help so many other men. Lee discusses himself and many other men's views of their fathers. Fathers ranging from abusive to non-existent and how these men had to pick up the pieces of their life.
This book is also part journal in a way. Lee shows the reader one of the men's movement meetings he runs that offers bonding therapy for men. I found myself tearing up at a few parts in this story.
This book is a gentle but firm introduction into the relationship of men and their fathers. I highly recommend this for any man who has difficult issues with his father. This book also reaches out to women as well. Although this story is written for men, the two sexes in terms of parental relationships really aren't that different. It is the pressure of societal expectations that increase the issue and further divide the sexes.

[Andrew Marshall · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked up this book the first time many years ago. I was intrigued by the poem that inspired the title. (Many years later, I read the poet Robert Bly.) When I was planning a workshop on the father wound - the problems caused by sons difficult relationships with their fathers - I decided to pick it up again. Once again, I was blown away by the combination of deep truths and poetic writing.

It feels like a book that Lee really needed to write, almost as if he was writing it as much for himself as for us. And I suppose that's what makes it so powerful and gets me coming back again and again. Perhaps it's not surprising - with such a complex topic - that it raises more questions than it answers but I'm fine with that.

This book should be in the library of ever man who wants to know himself better.

[M · Rating 2 out of 5]

No that illuminating; more emotional than intellectual.

Merged review:

This book will only speak to you if you had a considerably bad relationship with your father. The men he discusses were traumatized and deeply hurt by their fathers

[Jason · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Men's meetings" conjures a lot of different images for me. John Lee describes meetings (often retreats) where men can heal from deep emotional wounds and - hopefully - claim their manhood.