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Bully Pulpit: Confronting the Problem of Spiritual Abuse in the Church
Are churches looking for the wrong kind of leaders? The last decade has witnessed a rising number of churches wrecked by spiritual abuse--harsh, heavy-handed, domineering behavior from those in a position of spiritual authority. And high-profile cases are only a small portion of this widespread problem. Behind the scenes are many more cases of spiritual abuse that we will never hear about. Victims suffer in silence, not knowing where to turn. Of course, most pastors and leaders are godly, wonderful people who don't abuse their sheep. They shepherd their flocks gently and patiently. But we can't ignore the growing number who do not. We have tolerated and even celebrated the kind of leaders Jesus warned us against. We need gentle shepherds now more than ever, and in Bully Pulpit , seminary president and biblical scholar Michael J. Kruger offers a unique perspective for both church leaders and church members on the problem of spiritual abuse, how to spot it, and how to handle it in the church. "Every Christian from pulpit to pew needs to read this wise and timely work."
- Karen Swallow Prior "Both urgent and timely."
- Sam Storms "Thoughtful, wise, and biblical."
- Mark Vroegop
- Karen Swallow Prior "Both urgent and timely."
- Sam Storms "Thoughtful, wise, and biblical."
- Mark Vroegop
192 pages, Hardcover
Published November 8, 2022
228 people are currently reading
1919 people want to read
About the author
Michael J. Kruger
34 books117 followersMichael J. Kruger (PhD, University of Edinburgh) is president and professor of New Testament at Reformed Theological Seminary, Charlotte, and the author of a number of articles and books on early Christianity.
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March 7, 2023
I was a bit skeptical about this book. Not about the subject - I’ve heard enough to be thoroughly convinced that spiritual abuse is real and more common than we might think. I was skeptical that this book would tackle this subject in a way that lived up to the high praise it was receiving. But I’m not skeptical now.
The writing is superb: clear, memorable, and brief rather than belaboring the point.
The book is insightful: this is not a repackaged reminder of what everyone has already heard about spiritual abuse but a wise and faithful guide to understanding and addressing the problem.
This book is for anyone and everyone: though it is aimed mainly at Christian leaders, I think anyone wanting to understand the abuse others are talking about or wanting help discerning if what they experienced was spiritual abuse or wanting to know how to recognize spiritual abuse and prevent it from taking root in their church will benefit from this book.
I’m glad Michael Kruger wrote this. He has served us well. If you’re skeptical this book is as good as you’ve heard, well, so was I.
The writing is superb: clear, memorable, and brief rather than belaboring the point.
The book is insightful: this is not a repackaged reminder of what everyone has already heard about spiritual abuse but a wise and faithful guide to understanding and addressing the problem.
This book is for anyone and everyone: though it is aimed mainly at Christian leaders, I think anyone wanting to understand the abuse others are talking about or wanting help discerning if what they experienced was spiritual abuse or wanting to know how to recognize spiritual abuse and prevent it from taking root in their church will benefit from this book.
I’m glad Michael Kruger wrote this. He has served us well. If you’re skeptical this book is as good as you’ve heard, well, so was I.
January 16, 2023
This book hits close to home. In Bully Pulpit, Michael Kruger examines the problem of spiritual abuse in the Church, covering its root causes, common tactics, harmful effects, and more. I highly recommend it to most believers, with a few exceptions.
Bully Pulpit provides a biblically based definition of spiritual abuse, taking an entire chapter to walk through the various aspects of the explanation. Kruger defines spiritual abuse as when a spiritual leader uses authority “in such a way that he manipulates, domineers, bullies, and intimidates those under him as a means of maintaining his own power and control” (24). At the same time, Kruger guards against misunderstandings by noting that being unfriendly, possessing an intimidating personality, not getting along, and hurting someone accidentally are not the same as spiritual abuse. In fact, certain tensious interactions – such as (gently!) confronting sin – are required by scripture. “All these categories are important to understand, lest we (wrongly) label every instance of relations conflict as abuse” (38). Nonetheless, Kruger is quick to include that these can be used as alternative explanations to disregard abuse when brought to light, which he saw occurring during his research. This type of careful caveating is present throughout the book and is both necessary and welcomed given the nuanced nature of the topic.
Next, I appreciate that an entire chapter is dedicated to the true cause of abusive leadership: a lack of Christ-like character. The section draws on Jesus’ conversations with his disciples as well as the explicit qualifications listed in 1 Timothy 3, Titus 1, and 1 Peter 5. While not all of these receive a point-by-point walkthrough, several key ones – leading as service, being gentle and lowly, living as a sacrificial example, and exhibiting kindness to everyone – are discussed, and these positive attributes are contrasted with the negative, domineering actions and attitudes given elsewhere. Leading in such a manner is inconsistent with the nature of Jesus. As such, heavy-handed shepherds are disqualified from Christian leadership. Period. Furthermore, Kruger notes that this is not a new phenomenon, tracing bad leaders throughout the Old Testament, the warnings from Jesus and the apostles in the New Testament, providing excerpts from Christians suffering from self-serving shepherding in the past, and including a few more contemporary examples. It has always plagued the Church and will continue to do so until Jesus returns, yet it is sin that angers God. Truly, it is the heart that is the heart of the problem.
Additionally, Kruger makes good use of theology. For example, he applies the doctrine of totally depravity to the issue of spiritual abuse. Since the Bible teaches that the Fall touches all aspects of our humanity, the full possibility of sin must be considered. In the case of spiritual abuse, those who defend an accused pastor and dismiss charges without investigation – “this person could never do that” or “I know them, and what you say cannot be true” – are failing to connect and apply the Bible’s teachings. Too often there exists a chasm between what we affirm and accepting its implications in our lives; that is, we can know a certain doctrine is true while at the same time functionally denying its teaching by how we live. Kruger closes this gap by bringing scriptural teachings to bear.
In the pastoral epilogue, Kruger encourages readers to check for planks in their own eyes. He notes several mindsets on the topic that exhibit a prideful attitude and could possibly lead to a situation of abuse. While not a church leader, I was convicted throughout the book of sinful behaviors in my own life, specifically times where I have been domineering, unkind, and harsh to others, and have been praying that God would change my heart to be more like Jesus. I am thankful that the blood of the True Shepherd atones for my sins and is renewing me daily.
On a personal note, I can attest to many aspects of this book, at least anecdotally. Our church went through an awful split in 2021 over the bullying, domineering nature of a pastor; abuse occurred before, during, and after a large group left the church. As a result, there have been a wide range of negative effect among those who left (which Kruger captures these with shocking accuracy in the “Suffering in Silence” chapter). Some in this group have expressed increased irritability, excessive fear, and prolonged depression, which were not present prior to these events. Many are questioning who they can trust. Several have even left the faith. While involved in a new church, I am reluctant to become a member; “they [victims of spiritual abuse] don’t feel safe in any congregation, wondering if that church will turn against them some day too” (107). I only include this personal account to emphasize that the concerns brought forth in this book are real, the playbook of domineering, abusive behavior are accurate, and the harm caused by spiritual leaders who are not gentle and lowly like Jesus is devastating.
Amongst all the positives, my main criticism of Bully Pulpit is the lack of Gospel hope. The book is understandably focused on tackling spiritual abuse, as this review has already illustrated. Furthermore, the Gospel is not entirely lacking; it most clearly comes out in the chapter discussing pastoral qualifications where Jesus’ vicarious sacrifice for the sins of believers serves as the defining example of service. Again, Kruger’s aim is to educate and warn church leaders on this topic, not provide an exposition on the gospel. Nonetheless, I still wish he had at least one chapter explicitly dedicated to connecting the good news to the problem at hand.
While the intended audience for Bully Pulpit is church leaders, I recommend to most believers. The book will help you better define spiritual abuse, spot its occurrence, guard against it in your own church, and empathize with those who have been hurt. For church leaders, an extra admonition exists. Churches need to set up systems that promote a culture of transparency, humility, and Christ-like service, create leadership structures that do not look like the world (i.e. are not about power), discourage self-seeking men from joining the pastor teams, and share responsibility among leaders so that one person is not central. They also need a plan in place for when – not if – such abuse occurs, and they need this before finding themselves in such a situation. The only group that I do not necessarily recommend this book to is those that have undergone recent spiritual abuse. How recent I cannot say. At some point it may be helpful to read this book, but until then I encourage victims to rest in the gospel (the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus on behalf of sinners like us) and to find a local church, in whatever capacity God enables you to do these.
Thank you for taking the time to read this lengthy review. I hope it has been helpful.
Bully Pulpit provides a biblically based definition of spiritual abuse, taking an entire chapter to walk through the various aspects of the explanation. Kruger defines spiritual abuse as when a spiritual leader uses authority “in such a way that he manipulates, domineers, bullies, and intimidates those under him as a means of maintaining his own power and control” (24). At the same time, Kruger guards against misunderstandings by noting that being unfriendly, possessing an intimidating personality, not getting along, and hurting someone accidentally are not the same as spiritual abuse. In fact, certain tensious interactions – such as (gently!) confronting sin – are required by scripture. “All these categories are important to understand, lest we (wrongly) label every instance of relations conflict as abuse” (38). Nonetheless, Kruger is quick to include that these can be used as alternative explanations to disregard abuse when brought to light, which he saw occurring during his research. This type of careful caveating is present throughout the book and is both necessary and welcomed given the nuanced nature of the topic.
Next, I appreciate that an entire chapter is dedicated to the true cause of abusive leadership: a lack of Christ-like character. The section draws on Jesus’ conversations with his disciples as well as the explicit qualifications listed in 1 Timothy 3, Titus 1, and 1 Peter 5. While not all of these receive a point-by-point walkthrough, several key ones – leading as service, being gentle and lowly, living as a sacrificial example, and exhibiting kindness to everyone – are discussed, and these positive attributes are contrasted with the negative, domineering actions and attitudes given elsewhere. Leading in such a manner is inconsistent with the nature of Jesus. As such, heavy-handed shepherds are disqualified from Christian leadership. Period. Furthermore, Kruger notes that this is not a new phenomenon, tracing bad leaders throughout the Old Testament, the warnings from Jesus and the apostles in the New Testament, providing excerpts from Christians suffering from self-serving shepherding in the past, and including a few more contemporary examples. It has always plagued the Church and will continue to do so until Jesus returns, yet it is sin that angers God. Truly, it is the heart that is the heart of the problem.
Additionally, Kruger makes good use of theology. For example, he applies the doctrine of totally depravity to the issue of spiritual abuse. Since the Bible teaches that the Fall touches all aspects of our humanity, the full possibility of sin must be considered. In the case of spiritual abuse, those who defend an accused pastor and dismiss charges without investigation – “this person could never do that” or “I know them, and what you say cannot be true” – are failing to connect and apply the Bible’s teachings. Too often there exists a chasm between what we affirm and accepting its implications in our lives; that is, we can know a certain doctrine is true while at the same time functionally denying its teaching by how we live. Kruger closes this gap by bringing scriptural teachings to bear.
In the pastoral epilogue, Kruger encourages readers to check for planks in their own eyes. He notes several mindsets on the topic that exhibit a prideful attitude and could possibly lead to a situation of abuse. While not a church leader, I was convicted throughout the book of sinful behaviors in my own life, specifically times where I have been domineering, unkind, and harsh to others, and have been praying that God would change my heart to be more like Jesus. I am thankful that the blood of the True Shepherd atones for my sins and is renewing me daily.
On a personal note, I can attest to many aspects of this book, at least anecdotally. Our church went through an awful split in 2021 over the bullying, domineering nature of a pastor; abuse occurred before, during, and after a large group left the church. As a result, there have been a wide range of negative effect among those who left (which Kruger captures these with shocking accuracy in the “Suffering in Silence” chapter). Some in this group have expressed increased irritability, excessive fear, and prolonged depression, which were not present prior to these events. Many are questioning who they can trust. Several have even left the faith. While involved in a new church, I am reluctant to become a member; “they [victims of spiritual abuse] don’t feel safe in any congregation, wondering if that church will turn against them some day too” (107). I only include this personal account to emphasize that the concerns brought forth in this book are real, the playbook of domineering, abusive behavior are accurate, and the harm caused by spiritual leaders who are not gentle and lowly like Jesus is devastating.
Amongst all the positives, my main criticism of Bully Pulpit is the lack of Gospel hope. The book is understandably focused on tackling spiritual abuse, as this review has already illustrated. Furthermore, the Gospel is not entirely lacking; it most clearly comes out in the chapter discussing pastoral qualifications where Jesus’ vicarious sacrifice for the sins of believers serves as the defining example of service. Again, Kruger’s aim is to educate and warn church leaders on this topic, not provide an exposition on the gospel. Nonetheless, I still wish he had at least one chapter explicitly dedicated to connecting the good news to the problem at hand.
While the intended audience for Bully Pulpit is church leaders, I recommend to most believers. The book will help you better define spiritual abuse, spot its occurrence, guard against it in your own church, and empathize with those who have been hurt. For church leaders, an extra admonition exists. Churches need to set up systems that promote a culture of transparency, humility, and Christ-like service, create leadership structures that do not look like the world (i.e. are not about power), discourage self-seeking men from joining the pastor teams, and share responsibility among leaders so that one person is not central. They also need a plan in place for when – not if – such abuse occurs, and they need this before finding themselves in such a situation. The only group that I do not necessarily recommend this book to is those that have undergone recent spiritual abuse. How recent I cannot say. At some point it may be helpful to read this book, but until then I encourage victims to rest in the gospel (the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus on behalf of sinners like us) and to find a local church, in whatever capacity God enables you to do these.
Thank you for taking the time to read this lengthy review. I hope it has been helpful.
November 13, 2024
I loved Michael Kruger's book on Biblical canonicity (Canon Revisited) and find myself generally in agreement with his theology and Bible teaching. Thus, I had high hopes for how he might address a widespread problem in modern Christianity. However, Bully Pulpit did not live up to its subtitle.
In general, Bully Pulpit brought up many helpful points and dug deeper into some of the recent scandals surrounding higher profile ministry leaders. I found the clarity of defining "spiritual abuse" helpful ("abuse" being a term that can be used too broadly today) as well as the section on "What Is Not Abuse." The last chapter on solutions offered some good tips (but see my issues with it below).
Overall though, the book was 'long on problem, short on solution'. Most of the book is spent covering the real situations that have arisen, and will arise, in churches and parachurch ministries where leaders abused their power. But given that 95% of the book is about these cases and how they come about, the overall tone amounts to more of an investigative exposé rather than a guide on how to confront spiritual abuse in the church. One often thinks the book is aimed at the spiritual abused victims, except that the intended audience is supposed to be church leaders. If the book's aim was to convince a skeptical group that there is a real problem of spiritual abuse in the church, such a purpose certainly has been achieved
My biggest critique is the lack of Bible in this work. It is meant to be a book about "Confronting the Problem of Spiritual Abuse in the Church," yet very little Scripture is explained and applied to that end. Most of the solutions in the final chapter are not from Scripture or even supported by the Bible. One wonders how the 1st and 2nd century church dealt with spiritual abuse without ecclesiasctical courts, legal attorneys, 3rd party investigators, corporate policies, and modern denominational hierarchies (all of which Kruger suggest using to confront spiritual abuse). Kruger does say a major solution to spiritual abuse is "to create a vision for ministry that is radically biblical" and yet such a vision is not cast in the final chapter. And while he does mention Matt 18:15-18 and qualifications for elders briefly, THE most pertinent passage in the whole bible (1 Timothy 5:19) which directly address this subject is only given a cursory glance (and that only to show when problems can be brought straight to the elder board rather than through the Matthew 18 process.) For this book to show us how to "biblically" confront spiritual abuse in the church, we need a full chapter (or more) teaching the meaning of 1 Timothy 5:19 and its use in various applications and situations which are brought up in Bully Pulpit.
A minor quibble is that there are many cultural illustrations that often distract from what would otherwise be a serious work. One can surely question whether the controversial George Floyd case was the best opening illustration, along with quotes from the horror movie Alien 2, and recent TV shows used as illustrations. And while I very much enjoy the Lord of the Rings trilogy, the constant quotes and mention of Saruman as an example is overused.
In summary, the book brings up an important topic and describes the various situations in which spiritual abuse occurs. However, we still await the book which will address how to confront such a problem biblically.
In general, Bully Pulpit brought up many helpful points and dug deeper into some of the recent scandals surrounding higher profile ministry leaders. I found the clarity of defining "spiritual abuse" helpful ("abuse" being a term that can be used too broadly today) as well as the section on "What Is Not Abuse." The last chapter on solutions offered some good tips (but see my issues with it below).
Overall though, the book was 'long on problem, short on solution'. Most of the book is spent covering the real situations that have arisen, and will arise, in churches and parachurch ministries where leaders abused their power. But given that 95% of the book is about these cases and how they come about, the overall tone amounts to more of an investigative exposé rather than a guide on how to confront spiritual abuse in the church. One often thinks the book is aimed at the spiritual abused victims, except that the intended audience is supposed to be church leaders. If the book's aim was to convince a skeptical group that there is a real problem of spiritual abuse in the church, such a purpose certainly has been achieved
My biggest critique is the lack of Bible in this work. It is meant to be a book about "Confronting the Problem of Spiritual Abuse in the Church," yet very little Scripture is explained and applied to that end. Most of the solutions in the final chapter are not from Scripture or even supported by the Bible. One wonders how the 1st and 2nd century church dealt with spiritual abuse without ecclesiasctical courts, legal attorneys, 3rd party investigators, corporate policies, and modern denominational hierarchies (all of which Kruger suggest using to confront spiritual abuse). Kruger does say a major solution to spiritual abuse is "to create a vision for ministry that is radically biblical" and yet such a vision is not cast in the final chapter. And while he does mention Matt 18:15-18 and qualifications for elders briefly, THE most pertinent passage in the whole bible (1 Timothy 5:19) which directly address this subject is only given a cursory glance (and that only to show when problems can be brought straight to the elder board rather than through the Matthew 18 process.) For this book to show us how to "biblically" confront spiritual abuse in the church, we need a full chapter (or more) teaching the meaning of 1 Timothy 5:19 and its use in various applications and situations which are brought up in Bully Pulpit.
A minor quibble is that there are many cultural illustrations that often distract from what would otherwise be a serious work. One can surely question whether the controversial George Floyd case was the best opening illustration, along with quotes from the horror movie Alien 2, and recent TV shows used as illustrations. And while I very much enjoy the Lord of the Rings trilogy, the constant quotes and mention of Saruman as an example is overused.
In summary, the book brings up an important topic and describes the various situations in which spiritual abuse occurs. However, we still await the book which will address how to confront such a problem biblically.
March 13, 2023
Spiritual abuse is one of the last topics that people want to discuss in the church. But it is imperative that this problem is explored and addressed. Better yet, the problem of spiritual abuse in the church needs to be rooted out once and for all. Michael J. Kruger tackles this challenge in his book, Bully Pulpit: Confronting the Problem of Spiritual Abuse in the Church.
Dr. Kruger documents several cases of spiritual abuse including men such as Ravi Zacharias, James McDonald, Bill Hybels, and Mark Driscoll. These examples are indicative of the kind of spiritual abuse that plagues the church. One of the problems that surfaces is that churches place a high priority on the competency of leaders, while neglecting the character qualities that Scripture commends and commands. This oversight tends to attract narcissistic pastors, which only perpetuates the problem.
The author defines spiritual abuse in clear and unambiguous terms:
The symptoms of spiritual abuse, according to Kruger, include various signs such as cruelty, threatening behavior, defensiveness, and being hyper-critical. Perhaps the most dominant quality of a spiritual abuser is manipulation.
Kruger surveys the long history of spiritual abuse in both the Old and New Testament, helping readers understand that his problem goes back to the Fall of man. It is a problem and sin, nonetheless, that needs to be addressed and uprooted.
The Bully Pulpit does not claim to have all the answers. But it does address the vexing problem in a straightforward and biblical way. Dr. Kruger describes the problem and offers helpful prescriptions for dealing with spiritual abuse and preventing it. He writes boldly and graciously, confronting sin and consoling those who have been sinned against. In short, The Bully Pulpit strikes a biblical balance that is much-needed in our day. May the church rise up and confront every spiritual abuser and may victims move down a path of wholeness and healing as they cling to the cross of Christ and his gospel.
Dr. Kruger documents several cases of spiritual abuse including men such as Ravi Zacharias, James McDonald, Bill Hybels, and Mark Driscoll. These examples are indicative of the kind of spiritual abuse that plagues the church. One of the problems that surfaces is that churches place a high priority on the competency of leaders, while neglecting the character qualities that Scripture commends and commands. This oversight tends to attract narcissistic pastors, which only perpetuates the problem.
The author defines spiritual abuse in clear and unambiguous terms:
Spiritual abuse is when a spiritual leader – such as a pastor, elder, or head of a Christian organization – wields his position of spiritual authority in such a way that he manipulates, domineers, bullies, and intimidates those under him as a means of maintaining his own power and control, even if he is convinced he is seeking biblical and kingdom-related goals.
The symptoms of spiritual abuse, according to Kruger, include various signs such as cruelty, threatening behavior, defensiveness, and being hyper-critical. Perhaps the most dominant quality of a spiritual abuser is manipulation.
Kruger surveys the long history of spiritual abuse in both the Old and New Testament, helping readers understand that his problem goes back to the Fall of man. It is a problem and sin, nonetheless, that needs to be addressed and uprooted.
The Bully Pulpit does not claim to have all the answers. But it does address the vexing problem in a straightforward and biblical way. Dr. Kruger describes the problem and offers helpful prescriptions for dealing with spiritual abuse and preventing it. He writes boldly and graciously, confronting sin and consoling those who have been sinned against. In short, The Bully Pulpit strikes a biblical balance that is much-needed in our day. May the church rise up and confront every spiritual abuser and may victims move down a path of wholeness and healing as they cling to the cross of Christ and his gospel.
April 16, 2024
Michael Kruger’s “Bully Pulpit” is an excellent book and an important read for any pastor. Much like “Chuck DeGroat’s “When Narcissism Comes to the Church,�� Kruger takes on the issue of the manipulation of pastoral power.
I found Kruger’s book helpful on a number of levels. First, Kruger isn’t reductive: he recognizes the complicated power dynamics involved in any church and doesn’t paint with broad brush strokes. Pastors ought to be wary of misusing power, but every human is in danger of the misuse of power. Kruger carefully explains spiritual abuse and includes an excellent variety of examples- both well known and obscure. In fact, it was the more ordinary fall outs I felt were most instructive.
Second, Kruger offers practical applications throughout. He offers wisdom on how to deal with one’s own heart and also navigate challenging dynamics. The church is in desperate need of gentle shepherds today. Kruger urges us to eschew the highly charged times we live in and demonstrate the character of Christ.
Kruger’s book is narrow in focus— there is certainly more that could be said on many of the topics he addresses, but I appreciate that he doesn’t get too bogged down.
I highly recommend Kruger’s “Bully Pulpit” to you.
For more reviews see thebeehive.live
I found Kruger’s book helpful on a number of levels. First, Kruger isn’t reductive: he recognizes the complicated power dynamics involved in any church and doesn’t paint with broad brush strokes. Pastors ought to be wary of misusing power, but every human is in danger of the misuse of power. Kruger carefully explains spiritual abuse and includes an excellent variety of examples- both well known and obscure. In fact, it was the more ordinary fall outs I felt were most instructive.
Second, Kruger offers practical applications throughout. He offers wisdom on how to deal with one’s own heart and also navigate challenging dynamics. The church is in desperate need of gentle shepherds today. Kruger urges us to eschew the highly charged times we live in and demonstrate the character of Christ.
Kruger’s book is narrow in focus— there is certainly more that could be said on many of the topics he addresses, but I appreciate that he doesn’t get too bogged down.
I highly recommend Kruger’s “Bully Pulpit” to you.
For more reviews see thebeehive.live
January 12, 2023
As someone who experienced spiritual abuse, I can’t attest to the need for this book. Much of what Kruger describes fits my own experience and story. The impact of those experiences don’t go away overnight. This book seeks to educate people on what spiritual abuse looks like and what tactics are used by abusers. It seeks to do so to raise awareness and help Christ’s church to do better. My hope is that this book gains a wide readership so that the church can, by the grace of God, move forward in a better way.
December 19, 2023
“It’s not enough to be aware, it’s not enough to care, churches must act.” If you’re unsure of where you or your church stands on spiritual abuse, this book will make you aware, care, and show you how you can act. It was eye-opening, affirming, convicting, and practical. Not only did it emphasize how to identify and prevent abusive leaders, but the epilogue focused on how to not become one yourself - don’t skip the intro, epilogue, or conclusion!!!
March 19, 2024
Kruger provides a much needed work as pastors and churches seek to fulfill the biblical mandate of walking in lowliness as they seek to shepherd the flock. The book is prescriptive and preventative as Kruger gives insight to how churches can diagnose their health, and also illustrates how pastors can prevent themselves from becoming bullies in the pulpit.
April 5, 2025
Absolutely phenomenal - I learned so much. This confirmed so much. It was an essential read for our current situation. It should be read by every pastor and elder in America. I’m so thankful for this book.
April 21, 2025
A book I never wanted to need. But a book I am grateful for. Highly recommend.
July 15, 2023
Read this book for my seminary class. After reading it and listening to the Rise and Fall of Mars Hill and watching the Secrets of Hillsong I have thought a lot about my future career in ministry that I feel the Lord calling me to. This summer I have noticed my pride coming out more in my life and I have been praying for the Lord to humble me. I hope that I never forget to keep this in my prayers throughout my life. I also hope that at the end of my time in ministry that I’m not known as the best preacher, best small group leader, or have the most people involved, and instead that people would know me as being gentle and lowly. I’m not called to be the best leader but I’m called to care for and serve the people God has put in my life. I pray that I would be an imitator of Christ and always point people to Him instead of myself. This is something I can never do on my own and need to continually ask for the Lord to help and humble me each day. I pray that I will never forget who ministry is truly about and how God is the one at work and not me.
August 18, 2025
I was a bit skeptical of this book at first, due to seeing the phrase "spiritual abuse" used primarily as a way to attack the church or to attack legitimate exercises of church discipline and teaching. However, Kruger is a trustworthy author so I gave it a shot. I appreciated that he immediately addressed my concerns and showed that while some misuse the reality of spiritual abuse to undermine the church, it is none-the-less a real thing that conservative Christians should be concerned with. It was very useful to see that throughout church history various pastors/theologians have addressed the substance of this issue (although without using the same terminology): Chrysostom, Nazianzen, Bucer, Bannerman, Henry, etc. And then in ch. 3 he walks through the Bible pointing out the many times it addresses what we now call spiritual abuse.
The best chapters were ch. 4 "Why churches don't stop abusive leaders" and ch. 7 "Creating a culture that resists spiritual abuse." It was very enlightening to see why spiritual abuse often happens, and why churches often don't recognize it or do anything about it. And then ch. 7 was very practical with tips on how to prevent spiritual abuse, how to create accountability, and how to protect and resolve it if/when it does happen. I did not agree with some of his suggestions, mostly those that involved bringing in third party parachurch groups, because as a Presbyterian I believe that is what Jesus Christ ordained presbyteries and synods for. And while I think those Christ-ordained institutions can fail due to being ran by sinful men, I think many of Kruger's practical suggestions can be implemented in those church courts to mitigate the potential issues he points out.
Lastly, I thought Kruger's definition of spiritual abuse was very narrow. I understand that he wanted to address a specific type of it that occurs in churches from leadership, however I think there are numerous other ways spiritual abuse can happen that weren't addressed at all or only in passing. It is mentioned in passing that spiritual abuse can happen outside church leadership such as in marriage or between peers, but nothing further than that. Also a lot of the examples were of very stereotypical machisimo bullies, and there was little to no diagnosis of other ways abuse can happen such as through passive-aggression, gas-lighting (mentioned only a little bit), manipulative flattery and grooming, etc. These are areas I think were lacking development, but it does not detract from the otherwise good analysis of the book overall.
In short, I think this is a great little book despite a few disagreements. And I think pastors and elders and those who desire the ministry especially can glean a lot from it, but also any church member would gain a lot of benefit from reading it.
The best chapters were ch. 4 "Why churches don't stop abusive leaders" and ch. 7 "Creating a culture that resists spiritual abuse." It was very enlightening to see why spiritual abuse often happens, and why churches often don't recognize it or do anything about it. And then ch. 7 was very practical with tips on how to prevent spiritual abuse, how to create accountability, and how to protect and resolve it if/when it does happen. I did not agree with some of his suggestions, mostly those that involved bringing in third party parachurch groups, because as a Presbyterian I believe that is what Jesus Christ ordained presbyteries and synods for. And while I think those Christ-ordained institutions can fail due to being ran by sinful men, I think many of Kruger's practical suggestions can be implemented in those church courts to mitigate the potential issues he points out.
Lastly, I thought Kruger's definition of spiritual abuse was very narrow. I understand that he wanted to address a specific type of it that occurs in churches from leadership, however I think there are numerous other ways spiritual abuse can happen that weren't addressed at all or only in passing. It is mentioned in passing that spiritual abuse can happen outside church leadership such as in marriage or between peers, but nothing further than that. Also a lot of the examples were of very stereotypical machisimo bullies, and there was little to no diagnosis of other ways abuse can happen such as through passive-aggression, gas-lighting (mentioned only a little bit), manipulative flattery and grooming, etc. These are areas I think were lacking development, but it does not detract from the otherwise good analysis of the book overall.
In short, I think this is a great little book despite a few disagreements. And I think pastors and elders and those who desire the ministry especially can glean a lot from it, but also any church member would gain a lot of benefit from reading it.
August 11, 2024
Sobering and sometimes depressing read. Michael J Kruger has carefully and methodically examined many church abuse cases and identified common themes and behaviours. Most disturbing to me was the fact that none of these churches had mechanisms set up to deal with abusive pastoral behaviour—this kind of exceptionalism, Kruger points out, is a major problem, as almost all churches expect their leaders to behave in godly ways. That is, until they don’t.
Flawed and fallen men who lead churches, even those who set out with noble intentions, need the watchful eye of other leaders who can hold them to account. Similarly, leaders need to be watchful for those whose character is unproven.
As one who’s seen firsthand the devastating effects on a congregation that “charisma over character” can have, this is a timely and important book.
Flawed and fallen men who lead churches, even those who set out with noble intentions, need the watchful eye of other leaders who can hold them to account. Similarly, leaders need to be watchful for those whose character is unproven.
As one who’s seen firsthand the devastating effects on a congregation that “charisma over character” can have, this is a timely and important book.
January 20, 2023
Incredibly helpful and timely. As well as humbling and saddening. I was a little fearful that this book would accidentally convince anyone that their pastor is abusive if they disagreed with them. But Kruger does not do this at all. He defines, describes, and faithfully warns. I was incredibly helped by the last few chapters (especially the epilogue) about how to think about my own ministry and tendencies. May God save us pastors from ourselves and be people who die to our lives and live for Christ!
Must read for those in ministry, those who care for the church and its future, and anyone who might find themselves counseling abuse victims in the church.
Must read for those in ministry, those who care for the church and its future, and anyone who might find themselves counseling abuse victims in the church.
April 9, 2024
It’s an unpopular topic but this book is important. Although I wouldn’t agree with all of its nuanced practical applications it is nonetheless very important and necessary in today’s western culture where the reputation of Christ’s church has been threatened by lots of spiritual abuse from within. I would highly recommend reading this book. If anything, I found it a cautionary tale and warning for myself not to become a spiritual abuser.
February 2, 2023
"...not violent but gentle..." (1 Tim 3:3).
"Churches don’t usually end up with narcissistic celebrity pastors simply because that pastor has maneuvered his way to the top. On the contrary, some churches have invited them in and built them up."
A seriously good book. Such a clear-eyed and sensible explanation of spiritual abuse. Also a great reminder that Christian character matters. Everyone should read this, there will be something to reflect on in their own ministries or church.
"Churches don’t usually end up with narcissistic celebrity pastors simply because that pastor has maneuvered his way to the top. On the contrary, some churches have invited them in and built them up."
A seriously good book. Such a clear-eyed and sensible explanation of spiritual abuse. Also a great reminder that Christian character matters. Everyone should read this, there will be something to reflect on in their own ministries or church.
February 2, 2023
An essential read for every pastor/elder as well as for anyone aspiring to be a pastor/elder.
A humbling means for honest self-examination. The final words of the book will challenge all:"The answer to the abusive pastor was there all the time. It is the cross of Christ. There, on display for all the world to see, was a shepherd who did not save his own life but gave it up freely for the sake of others. And anyone called to the ministry must do the same."
A humbling means for honest self-examination. The final words of the book will challenge all:"The answer to the abusive pastor was there all the time. It is the cross of Christ. There, on display for all the world to see, was a shepherd who did not save his own life but gave it up freely for the sake of others. And anyone called to the ministry must do the same."
April 24, 2023
I love that this book grounds itself in Scripture. Kruger acknowledges secular psychology, but explains what it observes through a biblical lens. His explanation of what is going on in the hearts and minds of spiritual abusers, and his explanation of how they got there is firmly rooted in Scripture. He explains and expounds on many useful biographical examples from the old and new testaments and explains how some of the teaching passages apply to such situations.
A lot of people feel itchy when the word abuse is used - I know, I was one of them - but Kruger is gracious, compassionate, realistic, and biblical in his dealings with the subject. His epilogue in which he challenges us each to look to signs of these tendencies in ourselves was particularly challenging. I also found his chapters on what abuse actually is (from a biblical perspective) and the chapter on flipping the script (no, Matthew 18 is not always an appropriate guideline for dealing with these things) particularly helpful.
Overall, this book was upsetting yet healing. It was upsetting because Kruger is so on the mark with not only the tactics of abusers, but the long-lasting effects it can have on the victims. It was healing because he was so on the mark about these things and it is freeing to hear a complete stranger explain a situation in such a way that you realise you are not alone, and you are not crazy.
I highly recommend this book for all believers. Spiritual abuse and general bullying leadership is a subject we often shy away from in the church, but it *is* a real problem. This book will help you to understand the kind of circumstances that can lead to bullies in leadership and know how to deal with the situation should it arise. It's a devastatingly common problem today, and understanding it from a biblical perspective and knowing how to respond or deal with it when it arises is invaluable. I can't recommend this book enough.
This is also one of the few books that I would feel ok about giving to someone who is still feeling raw about the abuse they've suffered - or who is still under it and may not yet be aware of it or isn't yet ready to leave. Where some other books on the subject require a little space to heal, this book is eye-opening and will be a balm to the bleeding soul.
Extra points for all the book/movie references XD
Note: I feel like I should leave a note mentioning that I'm not a gusher. I rarely rate books five stars, even when I really appreciate them. But this particular book ought to be a staple for those in leadership and those hiring the leadership of the church, as well as those who have suffered, are suffering, or are walking with someone who has been/is being spiritually abused. This is one of those books I'll always try and have a give-away copy of.
A lot of people feel itchy when the word abuse is used - I know, I was one of them - but Kruger is gracious, compassionate, realistic, and biblical in his dealings with the subject. His epilogue in which he challenges us each to look to signs of these tendencies in ourselves was particularly challenging. I also found his chapters on what abuse actually is (from a biblical perspective) and the chapter on flipping the script (no, Matthew 18 is not always an appropriate guideline for dealing with these things) particularly helpful.
Overall, this book was upsetting yet healing. It was upsetting because Kruger is so on the mark with not only the tactics of abusers, but the long-lasting effects it can have on the victims. It was healing because he was so on the mark about these things and it is freeing to hear a complete stranger explain a situation in such a way that you realise you are not alone, and you are not crazy.
I highly recommend this book for all believers. Spiritual abuse and general bullying leadership is a subject we often shy away from in the church, but it *is* a real problem. This book will help you to understand the kind of circumstances that can lead to bullies in leadership and know how to deal with the situation should it arise. It's a devastatingly common problem today, and understanding it from a biblical perspective and knowing how to respond or deal with it when it arises is invaluable. I can't recommend this book enough.
This is also one of the few books that I would feel ok about giving to someone who is still feeling raw about the abuse they've suffered - or who is still under it and may not yet be aware of it or isn't yet ready to leave. Where some other books on the subject require a little space to heal, this book is eye-opening and will be a balm to the bleeding soul.
Extra points for all the book/movie references XD
Note: I feel like I should leave a note mentioning that I'm not a gusher. I rarely rate books five stars, even when I really appreciate them. But this particular book ought to be a staple for those in leadership and those hiring the leadership of the church, as well as those who have suffered, are suffering, or are walking with someone who has been/is being spiritually abused. This is one of those books I'll always try and have a give-away copy of.
December 4, 2022
Good primer on abuse in the church
This is a good primer on abuse, particularly spiritual abuse, in the church context. It's helpful in that provides another voice raising awareness of what has become a widespread problem, and identifies the main ways spiritual abuse exhibits itself in the church.
Kruger highlights what spiritual abuse looks like, its prevalence, the damage it causes to the injured, and tactics used by perpetrators to avoid accountability. All of these areas are covered in more detail by other books, which the author often draws from. This is why this book can best serve as an introduction, since it provides an engaging summary of other books written in this area.
However, Kruger also stands out from other works in this area by providing substantial practical advice for individuals and churches on how to create systems and steps to protect congregants from spiritual abuse. His final chapter and epilogue offer a number of concrete ideas, including advice for vetting pastoral candidates, establishing transparent and objective evaluation practices, and creating safe reporting systems.
Overall, Bully Pulpit is a helpful book for introducing church leaders, and those who might have experienced spiritual abuse, to the topic.
This is a good primer on abuse, particularly spiritual abuse, in the church context. It's helpful in that provides another voice raising awareness of what has become a widespread problem, and identifies the main ways spiritual abuse exhibits itself in the church.
Kruger highlights what spiritual abuse looks like, its prevalence, the damage it causes to the injured, and tactics used by perpetrators to avoid accountability. All of these areas are covered in more detail by other books, which the author often draws from. This is why this book can best serve as an introduction, since it provides an engaging summary of other books written in this area.
However, Kruger also stands out from other works in this area by providing substantial practical advice for individuals and churches on how to create systems and steps to protect congregants from spiritual abuse. His final chapter and epilogue offer a number of concrete ideas, including advice for vetting pastoral candidates, establishing transparent and objective evaluation practices, and creating safe reporting systems.
Overall, Bully Pulpit is a helpful book for introducing church leaders, and those who might have experienced spiritual abuse, to the topic.
February 4, 2023
I wish this book didn’t need to be written, but it did. I think it’s a really helpful overview of what to look for in leadership (hint: giftedness is not the most important thing), how to spot spiritual abuse, how to prevent it, and how to help those who have been abused. A must read for those in ministry leadership!
February 26, 2023
Excellent book. After listening to the Rise and Fall of Mars Hill podcast, then meeting people who had experienced spiritual abuse, I wanted a resource I could learn from and recommend, and this is it. Perfect length, wonderful content, approachable, and timely. Highly recommend.
April 24, 2023
This is a must read for seminary students, pastors, and elder boards. Highest recommendation.
May 25, 2023
'... there is a need in every generation to recognize what areas still need growth and to call the church to change. [...] In many places, we have forgotten the biblical paradigm of humble, servant leadership and instead have attracted narcissists who abuse the very flocks they are supposed to protect.' (p. 112)
This made me so incredibly sad.
- This book is primarily aimed at church leaders, but will also benefit any average churchgoer. Michael Kruger provides a helpful overview of spiritual abuse in church contexts, and practical suggestions about how churches can improve abuse prevention, accountability for leaders, and protection for victims.
- I really liked the discussion on 'How did we get here?'. Plenty of interesting points I haven't considered before, such as celebrity pastor culture and a misunderstanding of authority. 'Maybe we have hired men more eager to call down thunder than to don the servant's towel and wash people's feet.' (p. 16)
- A lot of the abusive behaviour described reminds me of coercive control in DV. I also liked the reminder that those who enable abuse are also at fault, not only those who actively perpetrate abuse. Also enjoyed the chapter on how spiritual abuse disqualifies abusive pastors from ministry.
- It breaks my heart that this book even exists in the first place, but the 'enormous debris field of broken lives and shattered churches' (p. 133) proves that there's a lot more that Christian communities can be doing to care for victims of abuse and eliminate tolerance of abusive leadership. Plenty of things to think about if I ever find myself caring for victims of spiritual abuse.
'The answer to the abusive pastor was there all the time. It is the cross of Christ. There, on display for all the world to see, was a shepherd who did not save his own life but gave it up freely for the sake of others. And anyone called to the ministry must do the same.' (p. 145)
This made me so incredibly sad.
- This book is primarily aimed at church leaders, but will also benefit any average churchgoer. Michael Kruger provides a helpful overview of spiritual abuse in church contexts, and practical suggestions about how churches can improve abuse prevention, accountability for leaders, and protection for victims.
- I really liked the discussion on 'How did we get here?'. Plenty of interesting points I haven't considered before, such as celebrity pastor culture and a misunderstanding of authority. 'Maybe we have hired men more eager to call down thunder than to don the servant's towel and wash people's feet.' (p. 16)
- A lot of the abusive behaviour described reminds me of coercive control in DV. I also liked the reminder that those who enable abuse are also at fault, not only those who actively perpetrate abuse. Also enjoyed the chapter on how spiritual abuse disqualifies abusive pastors from ministry.
- It breaks my heart that this book even exists in the first place, but the 'enormous debris field of broken lives and shattered churches' (p. 133) proves that there's a lot more that Christian communities can be doing to care for victims of abuse and eliminate tolerance of abusive leadership. Plenty of things to think about if I ever find myself caring for victims of spiritual abuse.
'The answer to the abusive pastor was there all the time. It is the cross of Christ. There, on display for all the world to see, was a shepherd who did not save his own life but gave it up freely for the sake of others. And anyone called to the ministry must do the same.' (p. 145)
June 29, 2023
Every system is perfectly designed to get the results it gets,” observed Paul Batalden. He was talking about healthcare systems, but others have applied his observation to organizations generally. If he’s right, churches need to ask why their systems are producing abusive leaders.
Bully Pulpit by Michael J. Kruger is a good place to start. Kruger is president and Samuel C. Patterson Professor of New Testament and Early Christianity at Reformed Theological Seminary in Charlotte, North Carolina. An academic committed to training people for vocational ministry, he states the problem clearly:
“Some of the leaders we are producing — and, if we are honest, some of the leaders we are wanting — have characteristics that are either absent from or completely opposed to the list of leadership characteristics laid out in Scripture” (emphasis in original).
Specifically, the problem is spiritual abuse, which Kruger defines this way:
“Spiritual abuse is when a spiritual leader … wields his position of spiritual authority in such a way that he manipulates, domineers, bullies, and intimidates those under him as a means of maintaining his own power and control, even if he is convinced he is seeking biblical and kingdom-related goals.”
(The use of masculine pronouns is intentional because “the overwhelming majority of abusive leaders in Christian spaces are male,” Kruger writes.)
Spiritual abuse is not new. Kruger surveys examples of it throughout Scripture. Key passages include Ezekiel 34’s prophecy against “the shepherds of Israel”; Jesus’ warning to His disciples not to “lord it over” others as Gentile rulers do (Mark 10:35–44); Paul’s requirement that overseers be “not violent but gentle” (1 Timothy 3:3); and Peter’s description of pastors as “not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock” (1 Peter 5:2–3).
John Calvin captured the gist of biblical teaching on spiritual leadership when he wrote, “Christ appoints pastors of His Church, not to rule, but to serve” (emphasis in original).
Even though spiritual abuse is not new, Kruger argues that contemporary trends in church leadership give it a unique twist. He identifies five factors that contribute to spiritual abuse: celebrity pastors, prioritization of gifts over character, lack of meaningful accountability, misunderstanding of the nature of authority, and a defensive posture when criticized.
These factors put pastors on such a high pedestal that to question them is tantamount to questioning the work of God himself.
And so, when someone — especially a victim — accuses a pastor of spiritual abuse, the church system swings into line to protect the pastor. “Spiritual abuse is allowed to continue because willing supporters protect and enable that pastor.”
Kruger calls this “flipping the script” on victims and turning them into wrongdoers. Based on case studies of spiritual abuse, he identifies five tactics abusive pastors and church leaders use. They …
* “insist proper process wasn’t followed,” especially Matthew 18:15–17;
* “claim to be the victim of slander”;
* “attack the character of victims”;
* “tout [their] own character and accomplishments”; and
* “play the sympathy card,” especially about how accusations affect their family members.
These tactics are red herrings. They distract people from the truth of an accusation. After all, an accusation can be true even if proper process wasn’t followed. Claiming slander isn’t proof that it happened. A victim can be flawed and still tell the truth. Ministry accomplishments are not proof of moral innocence. And it’s perverse to ask for sympathy for one’s family while showing antipathy to one’s accuser, especially if that accuser is telling the truth.
For victims, the emotional, physical, relational, and spiritual consequences of the abuse, not to mention the abusiveness of the script-flipping tactics outlined above, are devastating. Kruger writes, “spiritual abuse is prone to create deep and serious mental scars that in turn can produce long-term physiological consequences.” That trauma is deepened and reinforced by “social ostracization” from the church. And for victims, it can lead to doubts about the church, Christianity, God, and even their personal identity.
So what is to be done?
Kruger concludes Bully Pulpit by outlining a threefold strategy of prevention, accountability, and protection. “The best way to stop abusive pastors is never to let them achieve positions of power in the first place,” he writes. When churches and ministries interview prospective leaders, they need to make clear that they value “character over competency,” “teamwork over hierarchy,” and “accountability over secrecy.” Those values tend to weed out abusive leaders.
Churches also need to institute boards that provide real accountability for pastors. Kruger recommends limiting the power of senior pastors, requiring annual 360-degree feedback (especially from women), valuing independent-minded board members, and practicing real transparency.
Finally, churches need to protect victims. It should not be difficult for victims to raise concerns about spiritual abusers. Case studies indicate, however, that churches default to making it hard. To do better, Kruger writes, “Churches must have a clear, well-organized plan for how to handle abuse claims and care for an protect the victims during the process.”
I recommend Bully Pulpit to pastors, pastoral staff, board members, and volunteer leaders in the local church. A church’s system is supposed to produce healthy sheep in Christ’s flock, not lambs sacrificed to a pastor’s ego. Reading this book may help us chart a path forward to a system that produces healthy sheep … and healthier pastors, too.
Book Reviewed
Michael J. Kruger, Bully Pulpit: Confronting the Problem of Spiritual Abuse in the Church (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Reflective, 2022).
Bully Pulpit by Michael J. Kruger is a good place to start. Kruger is president and Samuel C. Patterson Professor of New Testament and Early Christianity at Reformed Theological Seminary in Charlotte, North Carolina. An academic committed to training people for vocational ministry, he states the problem clearly:
“Some of the leaders we are producing — and, if we are honest, some of the leaders we are wanting — have characteristics that are either absent from or completely opposed to the list of leadership characteristics laid out in Scripture” (emphasis in original).
Specifically, the problem is spiritual abuse, which Kruger defines this way:
“Spiritual abuse is when a spiritual leader … wields his position of spiritual authority in such a way that he manipulates, domineers, bullies, and intimidates those under him as a means of maintaining his own power and control, even if he is convinced he is seeking biblical and kingdom-related goals.”
(The use of masculine pronouns is intentional because “the overwhelming majority of abusive leaders in Christian spaces are male,” Kruger writes.)
Spiritual abuse is not new. Kruger surveys examples of it throughout Scripture. Key passages include Ezekiel 34’s prophecy against “the shepherds of Israel”; Jesus’ warning to His disciples not to “lord it over” others as Gentile rulers do (Mark 10:35–44); Paul’s requirement that overseers be “not violent but gentle” (1 Timothy 3:3); and Peter’s description of pastors as “not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock” (1 Peter 5:2–3).
John Calvin captured the gist of biblical teaching on spiritual leadership when he wrote, “Christ appoints pastors of His Church, not to rule, but to serve” (emphasis in original).
Even though spiritual abuse is not new, Kruger argues that contemporary trends in church leadership give it a unique twist. He identifies five factors that contribute to spiritual abuse: celebrity pastors, prioritization of gifts over character, lack of meaningful accountability, misunderstanding of the nature of authority, and a defensive posture when criticized.
These factors put pastors on such a high pedestal that to question them is tantamount to questioning the work of God himself.
And so, when someone — especially a victim — accuses a pastor of spiritual abuse, the church system swings into line to protect the pastor. “Spiritual abuse is allowed to continue because willing supporters protect and enable that pastor.”
Kruger calls this “flipping the script” on victims and turning them into wrongdoers. Based on case studies of spiritual abuse, he identifies five tactics abusive pastors and church leaders use. They …
* “insist proper process wasn’t followed,” especially Matthew 18:15–17;
* “claim to be the victim of slander”;
* “attack the character of victims”;
* “tout [their] own character and accomplishments”; and
* “play the sympathy card,” especially about how accusations affect their family members.
These tactics are red herrings. They distract people from the truth of an accusation. After all, an accusation can be true even if proper process wasn’t followed. Claiming slander isn’t proof that it happened. A victim can be flawed and still tell the truth. Ministry accomplishments are not proof of moral innocence. And it’s perverse to ask for sympathy for one’s family while showing antipathy to one’s accuser, especially if that accuser is telling the truth.
For victims, the emotional, physical, relational, and spiritual consequences of the abuse, not to mention the abusiveness of the script-flipping tactics outlined above, are devastating. Kruger writes, “spiritual abuse is prone to create deep and serious mental scars that in turn can produce long-term physiological consequences.” That trauma is deepened and reinforced by “social ostracization” from the church. And for victims, it can lead to doubts about the church, Christianity, God, and even their personal identity.
So what is to be done?
Kruger concludes Bully Pulpit by outlining a threefold strategy of prevention, accountability, and protection. “The best way to stop abusive pastors is never to let them achieve positions of power in the first place,” he writes. When churches and ministries interview prospective leaders, they need to make clear that they value “character over competency,” “teamwork over hierarchy,” and “accountability over secrecy.” Those values tend to weed out abusive leaders.
Churches also need to institute boards that provide real accountability for pastors. Kruger recommends limiting the power of senior pastors, requiring annual 360-degree feedback (especially from women), valuing independent-minded board members, and practicing real transparency.
Finally, churches need to protect victims. It should not be difficult for victims to raise concerns about spiritual abusers. Case studies indicate, however, that churches default to making it hard. To do better, Kruger writes, “Churches must have a clear, well-organized plan for how to handle abuse claims and care for an protect the victims during the process.”
I recommend Bully Pulpit to pastors, pastoral staff, board members, and volunteer leaders in the local church. A church’s system is supposed to produce healthy sheep in Christ’s flock, not lambs sacrificed to a pastor’s ego. Reading this book may help us chart a path forward to a system that produces healthy sheep … and healthier pastors, too.
Book Reviewed
Michael J. Kruger, Bully Pulpit: Confronting the Problem of Spiritual Abuse in the Church (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Reflective, 2022).
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September 7, 2025I’m grateful for the labor Michael Kruger put into this book. Sadly, it feels like a book that has to be written in our culture today, and I wish I didn’t find so much of it resonating. I highlighted so. much.
Every leader or aspiring leader in ministry should read this for the sake of preserving the purity and unity of the church. Pastors, of course, are sinners in need of a Savior, and perfection is not expected, but we must remember that they are held to a higher standard.
My prayer is that pastors would humbly submit to the ultimate Shepherd, faithfully lead the flock entrusted to them, and steward the local church for the glory of God. This book is a sobering reminder of the importance of gentle, godly leadership, and it also offers hope: our Good Shepherd ultimately leads and cares for His flock.
He sees all.
And He is near to His people.
Every leader or aspiring leader in ministry should read this for the sake of preserving the purity and unity of the church. Pastors, of course, are sinners in need of a Savior, and perfection is not expected, but we must remember that they are held to a higher standard.
My prayer is that pastors would humbly submit to the ultimate Shepherd, faithfully lead the flock entrusted to them, and steward the local church for the glory of God. This book is a sobering reminder of the importance of gentle, godly leadership, and it also offers hope: our Good Shepherd ultimately leads and cares for His flock.
He sees all.
And He is near to His people.
April 1, 2024
This book is a must read for any and all who are either in any position of leadership in the church or aspiring to be. Kruger does a masterful job of explaining the extent of spiritually abusive leadership (its huge), how to identify it (what the signs and symptoms are), common tactics of abusers (how wolves manipulate, gaslight and deceive), how churches ought to biblically respond (confronting the abusive leader), and importantly, how to avoid becoming an abusive leader (the tendencies are in all of us; sin is crouching at the door and its desire is to have you).
Highly recommend this book. If you’re in, or have come out of an abusive church environment, this book will be a balm to your soul. You are not crazy, you’re a victim of abuse.
Highly recommend this book. If you’re in, or have come out of an abusive church environment, this book will be a balm to your soul. You are not crazy, you’re a victim of abuse.
December 22, 2023
A heavy read, especially if you've experienced any of this in the church. But it's essential reading for church members, church leaders, and those training for ministry.
November 17, 2022
Excellent read! Chapter 7: They Shall Not Hurt or Destroy is worth the price of the book alone. Would make for an excellent elder board or pastoral search committee resource.
February 24, 2023
An unhesitating 5 stars.
I genuinely wish every Christian would read this book.
If you are a Christian involved in church life in ANY capacity, please read it; it will help you watch out for bully pastors, recognize their behavior, and understand that it comes from a failing in THEM, not in you.
If you are a Christian who’s no longer part of a church because of spiritual abuse, please read it; we have not done a good enough job protecting parishioners and taking seriously our obligation to put a stop to abusive and bullying behavior, and I am so sorry for what you’ve been through. It wasn’t right. And you are not alone. The Church failed you in this. Please know that what you experienced doesn’t reflect the heart of God, that there are those who want to stop it ever happening again, and that your story could bring things to light that NEED light shined on them.
If you are a Christian in any kind of ministry or Church leadership, please read this; your courage and willingness to do hard things are desperately needed, both to put a stop to spiritual abuse and to keep you from becoming the abuser.
I have lived through spiritual abuse and gone through the messy process of healing in its wake. I was able to separate the behavior of broken people from the heart of God and made it through with my faith intact. But some of the people I fellowshipped and served with did not. This problem is rampant within churches in this chapter of history, and this book couldn’t be more timely.
I really appreciated the author’s analysis of how churches and elder boards permit and even unknowingly encourage abusive behavior, as well as his suggestions for how to prevent it and protect the people we’re called to serve. I think I highlighted roughly half of the entire book.
Please read Bully Pulpit. Recommend it. Share it. This subject needs to become common knowledge and dinner table/water cooler discussion throughout the Christian world. Let’s live out the name we claim for ourselves and demonstrate the character of Jesus to a watching world.
I genuinely wish every Christian would read this book.
If you are a Christian involved in church life in ANY capacity, please read it; it will help you watch out for bully pastors, recognize their behavior, and understand that it comes from a failing in THEM, not in you.
If you are a Christian who’s no longer part of a church because of spiritual abuse, please read it; we have not done a good enough job protecting parishioners and taking seriously our obligation to put a stop to abusive and bullying behavior, and I am so sorry for what you’ve been through. It wasn’t right. And you are not alone. The Church failed you in this. Please know that what you experienced doesn’t reflect the heart of God, that there are those who want to stop it ever happening again, and that your story could bring things to light that NEED light shined on them.
If you are a Christian in any kind of ministry or Church leadership, please read this; your courage and willingness to do hard things are desperately needed, both to put a stop to spiritual abuse and to keep you from becoming the abuser.
I have lived through spiritual abuse and gone through the messy process of healing in its wake. I was able to separate the behavior of broken people from the heart of God and made it through with my faith intact. But some of the people I fellowshipped and served with did not. This problem is rampant within churches in this chapter of history, and this book couldn’t be more timely.
I really appreciated the author’s analysis of how churches and elder boards permit and even unknowingly encourage abusive behavior, as well as his suggestions for how to prevent it and protect the people we’re called to serve. I think I highlighted roughly half of the entire book.
Please read Bully Pulpit. Recommend it. Share it. This subject needs to become common knowledge and dinner table/water cooler discussion throughout the Christian world. Let’s live out the name we claim for ourselves and demonstrate the character of Jesus to a watching world.
January 23, 2024
Thoughtful analysis of this crisis in our churches with step by step help. Since I’ve been in the middle of a such painful situation in the past and it really never leaves I’m grateful for someone taking this seriously. I’ve seen lives destroyed sadly.
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