If you haven’t read SHORTCAKE, I’m not sure WTF you’re waiting for. Anyhoo, PEANUT is this author’s second book, and it follows the same characters + the FMC addition.
WRITING
A curse and blessing.
This author is witty. The voice is sharp, cute, and it reads with an easy naturalness.
His warm touch unlocks a dusty treasure chest of teenage wishes. They dance through my body like fireflies, lighting a jagged pixie-dust path as they go.
After I left, Nicolas MacGregor went from a cute-but-awkward teen to a Viking god with Golden Ratio perfection. And I went from a majestic white swan to a gray speckled pigeon with matted feathers and a limp. Go figure.
My shoulders deflate when I realize the heat crawling up my neck isn’t fear. It’s jealousy. Yep, I’m jealous of a freaking dog. Please, let this be my rock bottom.
This author excels at bringing the reader into the FMC’s head to see the scenes from her perspective.
BUT….
Here’s the problem….
You got this gigantic slab of pure chocolate cake that is the witty voice. It’s rich and decadent, and it just melts in your mouth. However, as good as it is, you can’t just eat this entire cake alone all day, everyday.
^^ This story has no meat and potatoes to go with the whole damn cake:(
The writing, storyline, and characters become overpowering, stagnant, one-dimensional as this whole thing goes full throttle toward nothingness.
The entire storyline is based on witty internal reflections and dialogue, and its charm fails after 25-30% of the same old same old.
Cute animal scenes. Cute friend scenes. But, there’s no emotional shit, angst, anger, happiness, action, mystery, or anything to make that wave 🌊 of storyline crest. It’s flat all the way until the end.
Up until 80%, nothing is happening, leaving me full of chocolate cake and craving a damn steak, salad, broccoli, something. It’s almost entirely inside the FMCs head.
At 80%, you think the storyline might FINALLY start moving since they’re in Vegas. Nope. This is still random scenes that revolve around the dying witty musings of the FMC.
WHERE’S THE MONEY?
So, ya know the MMC cares. You know he’s attracted to her. You also know he has his reasons why he won’t act on that attraction and wants to remain friends. But, this wouldn’t be a romance if he doesn’t eventually change his mind, right?
Problem….
At 80%, a woman leaps into the MMC’s arms…
Nick’s powerful arms fly around her waist to catch her, the sound of his rich laugh rubbing against my skin like diamond…
she lays her red-manicured hand on his chest. She splays her fingers on the spot I like to rest my head when we hug.
And, he calls said woman “babe,” which is the same thing he often calls the FMC.
^^^ So, at EIGHTY f’ing percent and the MMC having no problems touching other women and calling them “babe,” am I really supposed to believe the FMC is some special woman to him?
And at 84%, we have yet another woman touching and flirting with the MMC while attempting to embarrass the FMC….
What I am is a twenty-six-year-old shield-maiden in love with the Viking this mermaid is shamelessly flirting with. I also have a few newly acquired cavewoman instincts, so she should probably stop touching him. Just saying.
What follows is supposed to be cute, but it comes off eeky at this point. By 85%, I expect the climax to be crested and coming for the shoreline. Not floundering in the Abyss with night goggles.
It’s 90% before this storyline ever sees a climax, and that climax is like a blip on a straight line. It comes too late. It lacks anything special.
There is ONE sex scene near the end. One. After all that waiting, I’m expecting a nuclear explosion. Nothing explosive nor nuclear ever occurs.
I get that the author is going for imperfect characters finding that perfect is an illusion….
I wanted perfect but ended up with something flawed. Broken and battered. And real. And beautiful. And ours.
But I just don’t feel it. I don’t feel the chemistry I’m being TOLD is there. I’m not feeling how special I’m being TOLD this is.
TAKEAWAY
What I got was clever, witty, sometimes funny thoughts by the FMC. Cute animal stuff. I
But, I did not get some tragically beautiful love story. The author made the MMC into this character who friendzones too many women, including the FMC…. And the result between the FMC and any other woman in his life was indistinguishable.
It didn’t help that the shift from friends to lovers only takes place within the confines of ONE SINGLE CHAPTER during the final 10% of the book.
It didn’t help that the epilogue is mostly about the FMC and an old lady character from the book… with the FMC just mentally telling us she got married and adopted another fur baby. So, the epilogue is both rushed and off topic from what the reader wants.
Plus, there are dozens of threads life dangling in the wind. Why spend sooooo much time bitching and moaning about the mom only to just leave it with zero closure? Hell, the body shame thing was even a “trigger” listed, and the entire mom/daughter relationship was just left hanging with its ass out in the wind:( Why tell us all about her ex and make it mean nothing? Why tell us about all the MMCs problems (aka why he wouldn’t go for the FMC) only to have zero closure or development on how those problems are being handled once they do hook up?
BOTTOMLINE
Read for the wit, not romance or storyline.
Talented writer who took a storyline and stretched it out to the point of pain before allowing it to SnapBack with no real moments and only half-ass to zero closure.
I was impressed by Shortcake, but this is a flop.