What do you think?
Rate this book
Beyond Pronouns: The Essential Guide for Parents of Trans Children
If your child or teen recently told you they are transgender, non-binary, or genderfluid, you're bound to have questions. You may wonder how best to support your child's transition and doubt whether you are making the right decisions. When her son came out as transgender, Tammy Plunkett had the same worries. In Beyond Pronouns , she shares her candid experiences learning to navigate her child's transition and provides clear and practical guidance to help you do the same. She deals with many frequently asked questions, Is this a phase? Why not wait until they're an adult? How do I tell others my child is gender-diverse? Where do we start a child's transition? Offering gentle guidance through the first one hundred days and beyond, Tammy uniquely addresses the need for parents to be supported so they can best care for their child. You will find ways to face common fears, have important conversations with your child, be a good ally, and much more, with age-appropriate approaches that aim for a happy and connected family.
224 pages, Paperback
Published June 21, 2022
About the author
Tammy Plunkett
6 books13 followersTammy Plunkett left her career as a registered nurse to stay home and raise her four children. It turned out that she could only take so much Sesame Street and returned to her first love—writing. Tammy spent a few years working solely in fiction then switched gears to non-fiction while she practiced as a life coach and writing coach. After her third child came out as transgender, she focused her work on helping parents of transgender kids, blogging, and writing articles such as her well-read one for Today's Parent. She continues to return to her love of writing both fiction and non-fiction and has titles that will be released in both categories soon.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
January 17, 2022
This book largely talks about one parent and their transitioning son, but it talks a lot about how to be an ally to your trans or gender diverse child.
While I am not a parent, I am a child of a trans parent and I myself am gender diverse. My parent and I grew up in starkly different times, and were treated very differently when it came to our gender diversity. This was refreshing to see from the perspective of a parent, and seeing how you can assist your child with a social transition.
I think the book was very well executed, and it highlights a lot of struggles that those that are gender diverse experience, and how to better assist as an ally. I don't think you have to be a parent to read this, I think you merely have to be an ally. This could help you assist in your friend's child's transitioning, or if you ultimately decide to be a parent one day.
One fault that this book has is that a lot of categories got clumped together, and I would have liked to see them a little more separated out, as well as giving more time to expand on each of these topics.
Thank you to NetGalley, Tammy Plunkett and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the ARC in exchange for a review.
While I am not a parent, I am a child of a trans parent and I myself am gender diverse. My parent and I grew up in starkly different times, and were treated very differently when it came to our gender diversity. This was refreshing to see from the perspective of a parent, and seeing how you can assist your child with a social transition.
I think the book was very well executed, and it highlights a lot of struggles that those that are gender diverse experience, and how to better assist as an ally. I don't think you have to be a parent to read this, I think you merely have to be an ally. This could help you assist in your friend's child's transitioning, or if you ultimately decide to be a parent one day.
One fault that this book has is that a lot of categories got clumped together, and I would have liked to see them a little more separated out, as well as giving more time to expand on each of these topics.
Thank you to NetGalley, Tammy Plunkett and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the ARC in exchange for a review.
August 2, 2022
This book is a non-exhaustive helpful workbook for parents/guardians of transgender people aiming to aid them in processing the experience healthily. At the end of each chapter the author sets aside questions for the reader to critically think about what they have learnt in that chapter. The author focuses heavily on centering the transgender person’s mental health.
The author discusses intersectionality and how the danger of being a visibly trans person will be higher for black trans people, indigenous trans people, and trans people of colour. The author also discusses transphobia within the LGBTQIA2S+ community. This guide is an excellent start and an excellent resource for parents/guardians of transgender people. I myself am a transgender person and I would have found this incredibly helpful to give to my guardians so they could have supported me better. I think that if I had given them this guide, we would have ended up with a better relationship and I would have had a better quality of life.
This was a bit triggering to read, especially when discussing the grieving process that parents/guardians go through so I don’t recommend this to be read by transgender people, however, I hugely appreciate that the author massively emphasised that this grieving process should occur away from the transgender person. Although the book is centred around the guardian/parent, the author takes special care of pointing out what the transgender person should be shielded from e.g. un accepting family members, the grieving process, medical discrimination. I love that the author encourages the reader to advocate for the transgender person to avoid as much harm as possible.
I would recommend this book to all individuals that have a transgender person in their life, not just parents as this includes critical information that they need to be aware of and I believe that using this resource will spare the transgender person of unintentional harm through micro-aggressions.
TWs/CWs - Medical detail; Divorce; Anxiety; Depression; Transphobia; Stereotyping; Canadian language wars; Self harm; ED; Conversion Therapy; Suicide attempt; Dysphoria; Cancer; Surgery; Medical Content; Dementia; Celiac Disease; Death Of Parent; Parkinson’s; Transphobia; Needles
The author discusses intersectionality and how the danger of being a visibly trans person will be higher for black trans people, indigenous trans people, and trans people of colour. The author also discusses transphobia within the LGBTQIA2S+ community. This guide is an excellent start and an excellent resource for parents/guardians of transgender people. I myself am a transgender person and I would have found this incredibly helpful to give to my guardians so they could have supported me better. I think that if I had given them this guide, we would have ended up with a better relationship and I would have had a better quality of life.
This was a bit triggering to read, especially when discussing the grieving process that parents/guardians go through so I don’t recommend this to be read by transgender people, however, I hugely appreciate that the author massively emphasised that this grieving process should occur away from the transgender person. Although the book is centred around the guardian/parent, the author takes special care of pointing out what the transgender person should be shielded from e.g. un accepting family members, the grieving process, medical discrimination. I love that the author encourages the reader to advocate for the transgender person to avoid as much harm as possible.
I would recommend this book to all individuals that have a transgender person in their life, not just parents as this includes critical information that they need to be aware of and I believe that using this resource will spare the transgender person of unintentional harm through micro-aggressions.
TWs/CWs - Medical detail; Divorce; Anxiety; Depression; Transphobia; Stereotyping; Canadian language wars; Self harm; ED; Conversion Therapy; Suicide attempt; Dysphoria; Cancer; Surgery; Medical Content; Dementia; Celiac Disease; Death Of Parent; Parkinson’s; Transphobia; Needles
June 30, 2022
A quick note first here: I come to this book, intended for parents of trans kids that just came out to them, as a 9yr old transmasc. I don’t have kids, but I am trans and non-binary, and I have had no shortage of folk asking me for advice about trans-related stuff; including what to do now their kid has come out. So I believe I approach this book, while not quite as the intended audience, with experience and some expertise in the matter.
Now, with that out of the way, let’s talk about the book.
Plunkett is the parent of a trans boy, and has written this book herself, with his input. He writes his own intro to the book, telling the reader that he has worked with Plunkett to create this.
The book itself is intended as a beginner’s guide to navigating the first 100 days or so after your kid comes out. And Plunkett bares all, in here; the latent transphobia, the fears, the things she messed up, she doesn’t hide any of it, because it all matters, and she’s learned from it. The honesty is refreshing. There’s no “you should do this”, no “you should feel like this”, without an accounting of how she got over each barrier herself.
Plunkett, like many who are faced with a loved one, especially their kid, coming out as trans, discovered transphobia she didn’t even know was there. She found herself bargaining with her kid–maybe he could just be a butch lesbian? Was he really sure he was trans?–because to her mind, being trans was a bad thing. It was painful and confusing and she just wanted her kid to be happy, but how could he be if he was trans?
That’s common. Especially when you go down an internet rabbit hole and wind up with stats about attempted and successful suicides, murder, and transphobes offering not just ways to forcibly stop your kid being trans, but excuses for why as well.
Keep away from the harum scarum. Keep away from mumsnet. Keep away from anyone talking about ‘sex-based rights’ and ‘rogd’ (rapid onset gender dysphoria–it’s not a thing). In short, keep away from anyone, anywhere, that is advocating stopping your kid from being who they’re telling you they are.
Throughout the book, Plunkett uses the female pronoun to discuss things prior to him coming out.
She chooses this as being less confusing, and though it must have been approved by her kid, I disagree. You should never, ever misgender someone just because you’re talking about something that happened before you knew they were trans. Don’t do it. Stick to the name and pronouns they have now.
That said, I do understand why that choice was made. Just don’t take it as permission to do this to any trans folk in your life.
Throughout the book, Plunkett offers definitions, advice, and stories of her own journey with her son. It makes the lessons she’s teaching feel less like a lecture, and more of a conversation you’re having with someone who has been where you are. It’s very well done.
Also, Plunkett does a great job of telling you what your kid being trans means and doesn’t mean. No surgery, no hormones, just social transition–name, pronouns, presentation–when they’re ready, and perhaps puberty blockers if that hasn’t started in earnest yet, which gives them time to decide.
All in all, this is a great, accessible, helpful book. If you’ve just had the trans bombshell dropped by your kid and you’re reeling a bit, then this is a book you need to read asap.
Now, with that out of the way, let’s talk about the book.
Plunkett is the parent of a trans boy, and has written this book herself, with his input. He writes his own intro to the book, telling the reader that he has worked with Plunkett to create this.
The book itself is intended as a beginner’s guide to navigating the first 100 days or so after your kid comes out. And Plunkett bares all, in here; the latent transphobia, the fears, the things she messed up, she doesn’t hide any of it, because it all matters, and she’s learned from it. The honesty is refreshing. There’s no “you should do this”, no “you should feel like this”, without an accounting of how she got over each barrier herself.
Plunkett, like many who are faced with a loved one, especially their kid, coming out as trans, discovered transphobia she didn’t even know was there. She found herself bargaining with her kid–maybe he could just be a butch lesbian? Was he really sure he was trans?–because to her mind, being trans was a bad thing. It was painful and confusing and she just wanted her kid to be happy, but how could he be if he was trans?
That’s common. Especially when you go down an internet rabbit hole and wind up with stats about attempted and successful suicides, murder, and transphobes offering not just ways to forcibly stop your kid being trans, but excuses for why as well.
Keep away from the harum scarum. Keep away from mumsnet. Keep away from anyone talking about ‘sex-based rights’ and ‘rogd’ (rapid onset gender dysphoria–it’s not a thing). In short, keep away from anyone, anywhere, that is advocating stopping your kid from being who they’re telling you they are.
Throughout the book, Plunkett uses the female pronoun to discuss things prior to him coming out.
She chooses this as being less confusing, and though it must have been approved by her kid, I disagree. You should never, ever misgender someone just because you’re talking about something that happened before you knew they were trans. Don’t do it. Stick to the name and pronouns they have now.
That said, I do understand why that choice was made. Just don’t take it as permission to do this to any trans folk in your life.
Throughout the book, Plunkett offers definitions, advice, and stories of her own journey with her son. It makes the lessons she’s teaching feel less like a lecture, and more of a conversation you’re having with someone who has been where you are. It’s very well done.
Also, Plunkett does a great job of telling you what your kid being trans means and doesn’t mean. No surgery, no hormones, just social transition–name, pronouns, presentation–when they’re ready, and perhaps puberty blockers if that hasn’t started in earnest yet, which gives them time to decide.
All in all, this is a great, accessible, helpful book. If you’ve just had the trans bombshell dropped by your kid and you’re reeling a bit, then this is a book you need to read asap.
June 20, 2022
Beyond Pronouns: The Essential Guide for Parents of Trans Children by Tammy Plunkett will be the book I recommend to all parents with a child who comes out of transgender or non-binary. It answers all of the questions parents will have along this new journey, with advice both for the child and the parent. It is comprehensive and well-written, and includes a forward by the author’s transgender son, Mitchell Plunkett. Beyond Pronouns is written by a parent who has been through the process and understands the questions, emotions, and difficulties of a transitioning child, and her experience is vital to the construction of this type of book. Unlike memoirs by parents with transgender children, this one is a guide to the struggles parents will face, with positivity and care given to each topic. As a fellow parent of a transgender child, I highly recommend it.
June 25, 2022
I think everyone should read this book.
April 7, 2022
As the parent of a transgender/nonbinary child who recently came out, I've been seeking books to help me process the various emotions I've had and learning as much as I can. I'm not much of a nonfiction reader, so I have to admit that sometimes it feels like a chore. But this book was different - I really enjoyed reading it. It is written in a way that feels more like talking to a friend who's been there than a factual handbook. It's the best book for parents of transgender children that I've read so far, and I think it's exactly what I needed right now.
The author of this book has a transgender son, so she shares their story throughout the book. I think it really gives the book a personal touch, The book felt very validating, recognizing the range of emotions and experiences that a parent goes through as normal, and gently guiding you in a direction that is best for you and your child. Multiple times the book talks about how we need to take care of ourselves if we want to properly support our children, and this was something I really needed to hear. Each chapter ends with some reflective questions meant for journaling and processing what you have read.
I love the wonderful analogies that the author gives throughout the book, especially the one about how it's like being on a bus. It puts this experience into terms that are easy to understand and really give a great perspective. I've talked about it with both my husband and therapist when explaining things. It's helped me understand in a way that I then can help others understand.
I loved this book so much that I've already preordered a paperback copy for when it releases. This is a book that I think any parent of a transgender child should read.
Thank you to the author, publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read a free copy of this book before its release!
The author of this book has a transgender son, so she shares their story throughout the book. I think it really gives the book a personal touch, The book felt very validating, recognizing the range of emotions and experiences that a parent goes through as normal, and gently guiding you in a direction that is best for you and your child. Multiple times the book talks about how we need to take care of ourselves if we want to properly support our children, and this was something I really needed to hear. Each chapter ends with some reflective questions meant for journaling and processing what you have read.
I love the wonderful analogies that the author gives throughout the book, especially the one about how it's like being on a bus. It puts this experience into terms that are easy to understand and really give a great perspective. I've talked about it with both my husband and therapist when explaining things. It's helped me understand in a way that I then can help others understand.
I loved this book so much that I've already preordered a paperback copy for when it releases. This is a book that I think any parent of a transgender child should read.
Thank you to the author, publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read a free copy of this book before its release!
June 16, 2022
Beyond Pronouns is the practical guide to help parents support their trans kids. It contains information from how to make immediate changes in the form of pronouns, to changing wardrobes and names legally, and even explains prosthetics, hormones, and surgery. While written by a parent (and for parents), Plunkett's trans son Mitchell is very much included and even wrote the foreword. The tone of the book is a love song to trans kids everywhere and to teach their parents how to best help them become their authentic selves.
April 18, 2022
I am grateful this book exists--i think it will be specifically helpful for straight cis parents of trans kids, and i look forward to recommending it to them. It's concrete and useful, but really assumes a lack of background that a lot of my queer/non-binary/trans friends who parent trans kids would be underserved by. That's okay though! There are plenty of cishet parents out there!
This star rating is based on my gladness for it to be in the world more than my specific experience of it--which isn't usually how i rate, so i wanted to note that.
This was a NetGalley ARC.
This star rating is based on my gladness for it to be in the world more than my specific experience of it--which isn't usually how i rate, so i wanted to note that.
This was a NetGalley ARC.
February 26, 2022
This book is incredibly important and I'm going to make sure to have this available for any parent/person who want to read this. I'm so incredibly in love with this. I adore Tammy Plunkett and I don't even know her and I will forever be so grateful for her and her son for putting this book into the world.
I requested this book after finishing a terrible book about the "war on young women" in regards to the "growing number of girls not wanting to be women". (Oh, yeah, trust me it was horrifying) It was one of those books that is written by someone who is only an outside observer with opinions.
But this book is the opposite of the-one-who-will-not-be-named.
For starters we have a mother and son coming together to tell their story, in order to SUPPORT other people who have a child in transition or just come to understand more about trans peoples. It also doesn't pretend to be some kind of leading medical documentation and it's not floating around pretending to be some kind of technical document without the accreditation. So while it's not truly own voices (since he mother was the largest contributor to the overall writing), this book is a stunning example of what respect, supporting others and honesty & integrity means.
If you are a parent of a transgender child, or simply want to know more about the lives of these people, then I highly suggest you read this book.
Thank you to the publishers & netgalley for the opportunity.
I requested this book after finishing a terrible book about the "war on young women" in regards to the "growing number of girls not wanting to be women". (Oh, yeah, trust me it was horrifying) It was one of those books that is written by someone who is only an outside observer with opinions.
But this book is the opposite of the-one-who-will-not-be-named.
For starters we have a mother and son coming together to tell their story, in order to SUPPORT other people who have a child in transition or just come to understand more about trans peoples. It also doesn't pretend to be some kind of leading medical documentation and it's not floating around pretending to be some kind of technical document without the accreditation. So while it's not truly own voices (since he mother was the largest contributor to the overall writing), this book is a stunning example of what respect, supporting others and honesty & integrity means.
If you are a parent of a transgender child, or simply want to know more about the lives of these people, then I highly suggest you read this book.
Thank you to the publishers & netgalley for the opportunity.
February 6, 2022
Educational. It gave me an eye-opener into a world that I barely understand, but work in daily. As I’m working on full licensure as a therapist, this gave me some insights to understand people who are working on figuring out who they are. I hope to use everything that was shared in this book as a way for me to advocate better for my clients.
March 5, 2022
It was an informative book and is totally a good read for anyone with a gender diverse child. As someone who is gender diverse I know what it’s like and some of the things that are pointed out in here are spot on.
August 30, 2022
Tammy Plunkett has written an immensely important book about gender identification, the struggles families encounter and the joy of eventually getting it right and having a happy, confident and mature teenager as part of the family.
This is so much more than an "essential guide for parents of trans children"; it's a book for ALL adults, for all of us who find the whole vocabulary around cis gender, trans gender, gender fluid, gender queer, non-binary, etc confusing. Knowing the difference between the descriptions should be considered general knowledge, more so than who's who on Love Island!
It's shocking that she even has to point out that "Gender diversity is not a mental illness"!
She shares the journey they went on as a family when one of the children came out as transgender, how they all experienced a steep learning curve (the adults probably more so than the children!), how they lost a few friends along the way but made MANY more, and how there is support and solutions available emotionally and medically (although sometimes at a cost depending on where you live and your insurance circumstances).
Finally, this book is focused on the adult perspective, with a lovely foreword by Mitchell, but I'd be very interested in reading about Mitchell's journey, to be able to share with a younger audience so they also can find answers to their questions, and support knowing that they are not alone, or strange,
Thank you for a superbly enlightening book! I sincerely hope it gets read by a wider group of people than parents of transgender children; it's a very important topic.
This is so much more than an "essential guide for parents of trans children"; it's a book for ALL adults, for all of us who find the whole vocabulary around cis gender, trans gender, gender fluid, gender queer, non-binary, etc confusing. Knowing the difference between the descriptions should be considered general knowledge, more so than who's who on Love Island!
It's shocking that she even has to point out that "Gender diversity is not a mental illness"!
She shares the journey they went on as a family when one of the children came out as transgender, how they all experienced a steep learning curve (the adults probably more so than the children!), how they lost a few friends along the way but made MANY more, and how there is support and solutions available emotionally and medically (although sometimes at a cost depending on where you live and your insurance circumstances).
Finally, this book is focused on the adult perspective, with a lovely foreword by Mitchell, but I'd be very interested in reading about Mitchell's journey, to be able to share with a younger audience so they also can find answers to their questions, and support knowing that they are not alone, or strange,
Thank you for a superbly enlightening book! I sincerely hope it gets read by a wider group of people than parents of transgender children; it's a very important topic.
August 10, 2022
I am sharing my author's insight here! First, opening the book with Mitchell's forward was so very important for me and set the tone for the reader. He was very much a part of writing this book. Second, I am so very grateful to the trans and non-binary people who have read and reviewed Beyond Pronouns. If I were to do this over, I would have included some trigger warnings for the trans community as this book was written specifically with the parents and caregivers in mind.
To the fantastic parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, caregivers and friends of trans children who enjoy Beyond Pronouns, thank you for taking the time to inform yourself and support and affirm the trans person in your life. You are the heroes here, and you will save lives!
As for me and what's next... I am currently working on my memoir as a mother of four who must learn to accept my family history of queerness and mental illness to embrace my children for who they are. How much of our lives are nature, nurture, and self-determination?
To the fantastic parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, caregivers and friends of trans children who enjoy Beyond Pronouns, thank you for taking the time to inform yourself and support and affirm the trans person in your life. You are the heroes here, and you will save lives!
As for me and what's next... I am currently working on my memoir as a mother of four who must learn to accept my family history of queerness and mental illness to embrace my children for who they are. How much of our lives are nature, nurture, and self-determination?
June 26, 2022
I found myself nodding along and wholesale agreeing with much of what Tammy Plunkett says in this heartfelt and genuine description of her and her family's acceptance and processing of their new reality when her son comes out as a trans man. And I also learned a few things. As someone based in Ireland, our perception is that trans kids in the UK are well served and able to get the healthcare they need by the existence of the NHS and access to Gender Identity services such Tavistock. But this is not always the case. And while Trans healthcare is better for Trans kids in the UK that are younger than 16 (compared to the Republic of Ireland where it is non-existant!!) it's not the "grass is greener over there" that I had assumed.
Thanks to Tammy and her son Mitchell for this book and thanks to the publishers for the ARC.
Thanks to Tammy and her son Mitchell for this book and thanks to the publishers for the ARC.
July 6, 2022
I had many questions going into the subject of pronouns, let alone being able to understand in real and practical ways how to address and live my next best step when helping a loved one transition into a life they feel heard, loved, and able to build their emotional resilience.
Tammy addresses these topics from a personal and professional approach helping you the reader understand and be open to many possible ways you can be that loving supportive partner. To be able to give dignity, respect, and non-judgment to others doing the best they can, in a fearful world that is learning how to show up differently.
Thank you Tammy, I wish this would be a must-read in schools to help us all understand, live and love from a different place.
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. Martin Luther King Jr.
Tammy addresses these topics from a personal and professional approach helping you the reader understand and be open to many possible ways you can be that loving supportive partner. To be able to give dignity, respect, and non-judgment to others doing the best they can, in a fearful world that is learning how to show up differently.
Thank you Tammy, I wish this would be a must-read in schools to help us all understand, live and love from a different place.
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. Martin Luther King Jr.
June 8, 2022
Thank you to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for an ARC of this book.
There is so much I don’t know about being trans, so whenever the opportunity presents itself to learn more - I take it regardless of if I am the target audience.
I believe that this book is going to be valuable to so many parents. The author gives you room to have your emotions and to acknowledge that you won’t be perfect, but the most important thing is love. Each chapter ends with self reflection and journaling prompts so you can dig deeper into yourself. I also like that the author acknowledges her own bumps in her journey so that people understand they aren’t alone.
If you or someone you know is a parent to a trans youth I highly recommend this book both for the personal anecdotes from the author as well as all of the factual information that is shared.
There is so much I don’t know about being trans, so whenever the opportunity presents itself to learn more - I take it regardless of if I am the target audience.
I believe that this book is going to be valuable to so many parents. The author gives you room to have your emotions and to acknowledge that you won’t be perfect, but the most important thing is love. Each chapter ends with self reflection and journaling prompts so you can dig deeper into yourself. I also like that the author acknowledges her own bumps in her journey so that people understand they aren’t alone.
If you or someone you know is a parent to a trans youth I highly recommend this book both for the personal anecdotes from the author as well as all of the factual information that is shared.
January 31, 2023
I found a great deal of the information was helpful to me, in my current journey with my trans son. The book is written with compassion, is easy to read, and explains ideas and terms completely. My journey is in its early stages, and although I didn't experience all of the things this author did in the beginning, hearing her story was still helpful.
April 2, 2023
Very informative and filled will many resources.
June 26, 2022
I found myself nodding along and wholesale agreeing with much of what Tammy Plunkett says in this heartfelt and genuine description of her and her family's acceptance and processing of their new reality when her son comes out as a trans man. And I also learned a few things. As someone based in Ireland, our perception is that trans kids in the UK are well served and able to get the healthcare they need by the existence of the NHS and access to Gender Identity services such Tavistock. But this is not always the case. And while Trans healthcare is better for Trans kids in the UK that are younger than 16 (compared to the Republic of Ireland where it is non-existant!!) it's not the "grass is greener over there" that I had assumed.
Thanks to Tammy and her son Mitchell for this book and thanks to the publishers for the ARC.
Thanks to Tammy and her son Mitchell for this book and thanks to the publishers for the ARC.
May 16, 2022
Beyond Pronouns is basically a guide for parents whose child has just come out to them as trans. It is very much aimed at parents, and it assumes that said parents are cis, although trans parents may still be able to find some good advice in the book. The book is very much aimed at people who are clueless about trans stuff, and it is written in a gentle, hand holding way. Plunkett is the parent of a trans kid, and uses her family's story as a framework for the book. There are also journaling prompts at the end of each chapter, so it functions as a guide and self help book for parents who are still learning their way around.
The book is nonbinary inclusive, would also be useful for parents of gender nonconforming children who may or may not later come out as trans, and has a strong focus on social transition, although the medical side is touched upon.
There were a few uses of language that bothered me. The use of 'differently abled' is frustrating, because disabled is not a dirty word. I also personally didn't like the use of she/her for the son's pre transition stories, but that is a personal preference for each individual trans person and Plunkett did note that her son gave her permission for that use. Overall, though, the book is very good and comes from a well meaning place.
The overall message is listen to, support and trust your child, which is a message that often gets lost in all the drama in the media around trans people.
The book is nonbinary inclusive, would also be useful for parents of gender nonconforming children who may or may not later come out as trans, and has a strong focus on social transition, although the medical side is touched upon.
There were a few uses of language that bothered me. The use of 'differently abled' is frustrating, because disabled is not a dirty word. I also personally didn't like the use of she/her for the son's pre transition stories, but that is a personal preference for each individual trans person and Plunkett did note that her son gave her permission for that use. Overall, though, the book is very good and comes from a well meaning place.
The overall message is listen to, support and trust your child, which is a message that often gets lost in all the drama in the media around trans people.
June 27, 2023
This is such a helpful guide for parents or loved ones of young people who are experiencing challenges with their gender identify, and feel they do not align with their sex at birth. This is something that needs much more awareness, as there is a great deal of stigma and lack of understanding amongst some of the older generations. This was very insightful, particularly because this was based on Tammy's own experience with their child. Highly recommend.
December 19, 2022
I really loved this book.
It focuses specifically on the parent experience of raising a transgender child, especially a young child, pulling heavily from her own experience.
Plunkett takes a gentle, firm approach and ends each chapter with questions for the reader to stop & reflect and take time to process, which I Just Love in gender books.
I am quite glad I was able to read an early copy thanks to NetGalley and the publisher and highly recommend it!
It focuses specifically on the parent experience of raising a transgender child, especially a young child, pulling heavily from her own experience.
Plunkett takes a gentle, firm approach and ends each chapter with questions for the reader to stop & reflect and take time to process, which I Just Love in gender books.
I am quite glad I was able to read an early copy thanks to NetGalley and the publisher and highly recommend it!
December 30, 2025
This book perfectly reflected my feelings about my child being trans, and guided me in a way that validated and supported both of us. Tammy told me the things she did wrong - things I probably would have done too, had I not read this book. Highly recommended read for anyone new to the journey of supporting a trans person.
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews