Gossip Girl Fanfic Novella

by Charlie Markbreiter

“Hey, Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here. And I have the biggest news ever.” Every episode starts like this. We’re Upper East Siders; Gossip Girl tells us we are. But also, we aren’t and never will be. All we can do is look inside. Gossip Girl Fanfic Novella follows Gossip Girl, an anonymous blog, and the prep school students she reports on, who snitch on each other for likes. They include: Nate, beautiful transgender himbo, Bernie Madoff’s son; Serena (It Girl); Dan (vengeful alt nerd). Meanwhile, in the year 2030, Gordon (former TV protege) starts writing for Gossip Girl 3: the Reboot. Will he self-sabotage? Or…? Gossip Girl began as a YA book series; it was first published in 2002, one year into America’s War on Terror. Soon adapted for TV, Gossip Girl premiered on the CW network in 2007, swerving through the Financial Crash, and ending in 2012, midway through the Obama years. Interlaced with essays on transsexuality, clones, dissociating, American Apparel, and affect theorist Lauren Berlant, Gossip Girl Fanfic Novella is a parasocial eulogy for the aughts.

With illustrations by River L. Ramirez

Charlie Markbreiter’s writing has been published in venues such as Bookforum, Art in America, and The New Inquiry, where he serves as the Managing Editor. A PhD candidate at the CUNY Graduate Center, he is also a mod of the Death Panel Discord, a free school/health justice forum. He is not a Gossip Girl character, or that’s what you think. He lives in New York. Gossip Girl Fanfic Novella is his first book.

Genres: Fiction, LGBT, Queer

174 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 2022

Reviews

[Summer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Weird as hell! What a wonderful attempt! The only possible critique I could dream of forming is Dua Lipa is not Armenian she is Albanian!

[audri ☮️❤️☮️❤️ · Rating 5 out of 5]

So weird. And awesome lol

[Olivia]

this was genius & bonkers.

[Claudia · Rating 5 out of 5]

incredibly creative form-- funny and smart, although INSANE. highly recommend

[Madison Lands · Rating 5 out of 5]

I want to cradle this book in my arms like a little baby! At multiple points I had to put the book down, thinking “who the fuck told him he could write this” (in a very good way).

[gv · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a GG super fan and insane trans person, naturally I *had* to read this book. It’s both brilliant and unhinged, combining actual GG events with fiction and trans theory. I suspect it’s one of those books I’ll think about forever.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well. 3.5. I am kind of bummed out cause this book could use editing. There were multiple typos/errors that got increasingly irritating as I read on. I think this book is clearly written by an intelligent person with something to say, but the typos and the mulitple reviews saying the book is "weird" "unhinged" lowered my enjoyment of it. The book was not that weird.

[Beck · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I’ve read this year and maybe ever!!!! A seriously wonderful look into privilege thru a trans lens in the early-2000s and the trauma of growing up as an Upper East Sider.... Gossip Girl on your heels.... will she find out your secrets?

[joe]

A kaleidoscopic amalgamation of so many topics and forms, that by the book’s closing, you’ve travelled down so many tunnels and climbed along so many branches, that you’re bound to feel completely disorientated.

Gossip Girl Fanfic Novella is a thriller within a fanfic within a horror story within a reality tv show within a wikipedia entry within a contemporary novel within a philosophical text within an auto-fiction genre. It’s so vivacious in it's use of form and experimental writing that there’s great difficulty in actually pinning it down to any specific genre. This is implied with the title of the book itself, but I don’t believe one can truly understand it’s genre spanning scale until one has read the text.

Charlie Markbreiter uses and experiments with the forms in the book to provide commentary on topics ranging from the internet and the attention economy, to advertising and consumerism. Moments of punchlined sentences have the same effect as short and snappy internet captions. This way of writing feels fresh and very of-the-moment, and it allows the reader to sit in the cultural atmosphere that the internet provides. While the book is only likely to work for a certain audience, I appreciate that Markbreiter doesn’t shy away from this nicheness. The author knows where to find the appropriate eyes for the novel, and the confidence in finding these eyes brings out a noticeable level of bravery in the writing.

Like some of my recent reads, the author manages to find clever connections between, not only words, but titles of entertainment sows, movies, novels, academic studies, character names, and more, in order to make quick-witted comments on various topics of discussion for the reader to mull over.

There are elements of Bret Easton Ellis in parts, and this is especially apparent in the personalities of some of the fanfic characters, as well as the plot direction in the second half. Markbreiter doesn’t allow for these elements to feel superficial or stagnated, however, as the core of the book is supported by various philosophical thinkers and their works. One particularly influential thinker is Lauren Berlant, and they even take up an important role in the loose plot itself.

My enjoyment of this book was immeasurable, and I could speak about the huge pile of content that the book displays for hours on end. It felt so vibrant to read, and the text plays with meta so much, that there were moments where I felt like I was a part of the story. Markbreiter quietly hints at this towards the end.

My only possible critique is the worry I have that Charlie Markbreiter has potentially used up every possible avenue they could travel down, there’s just that much packed into the book (I’m being facetious and silly, I can’t wait to see what Charlie comes up with next).

Gossip Girl Fanfic Novella would give James Joyce that Ulysses-confusion he heaped upon everyone else.

[juch · Rating 4 out of 5]

hahaha. i had a great time. i got this book after reading another fanfic novella, episode in the life of a landscape painter, because i really liked that one, and also because i really liked gossip girl s1, which i watched for the first time last year. and the author's tweets. i liked gossip girl s1 so much i kinda want to enjoy it uncritically so i think i liked the fanfic parts of this book more than the analytic essays. i also don't really understand/think about affect theory, or what everyone else was doing in the early 2010s while i was learning the wonder girls' tell me dance (and if/why those trends are coming back today). but i loved when in the fanfic parts, a character would just say something really painful and incisive, some kind of general truth about humanity rather than extrapolating from a trend. like dan's monologue about being annoying. in the middle of some crazy shit going on haha

[Taikun · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have no idea how I even came to learn of this book’s existence - probably one of my cooler artfag IG thirst-follows posted about it sometime in the last few years and the cover caught my eye. I’m so glad it did, because the moment I started it and saw that it begins with a Macy Rodman quote I knew what kind of book this was going to be. It’s dizzying and kaleidoscopic, but I also think it’s easier to give yourself into than one might think. Above everything else I loved this book because ultimately it reminded me of the way I talk to people in my own life about art and politics.

(Reading this book during the second week of January 2025 while wildfires have been actively consuming vast stretches of LA has been a fucking trip)

[Quin Bright · Rating 4 out of 5]

You don’t need to be a Gossip Girl fan to enjoy this deconstructed “fanfic” about the current elite, gender dysphoria, identification and desire. Two loose narrative strands: alternate universe GG, and a former GG writer who’s hired for a reboot, tied together/tangled up with essays about Charli XCX, Harry Potter Lexicon creator Steve Vander Ark, Covid-era fashion, etc…, with guiding appearances from affect theorist Lauren Berlant. Deeply intimate but constantly referential, like looking through someone’s search history.

[Paul Hoehn · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fun, sketchy little thing. Not very precise but with moments of real twitter-esque power. Condensation is key here, and I think the best chapters were the ones that were just thoughtful summary of GG.

[maze · Rating 4 out of 5]

came into this with like an almost overly skeptical attitude and then by the middle of it i realized i was having a blast and then i didn't want it to end. it's not for everyone but it is definitely for everyone else who likes to apply their Higher Education to CW television programs

[Venneh · Rating 4 out of 5]

I will freely admit that I picked this up on the strength of the cover and title at Pilsen Community Books, and likely would not have found it otherwise. This was mostly read on a train across state borders over the space of a weekend. In between some fairly insightful drabbles about the cast, which end up partially being from a reboot of the show that a character in here is rewriting (and don't worry, he!), we get some fantastic short essays as well about things like Charlie XCX and Dua Lipa, Lauren Berlant, object permanence, Minority Report, and a ton of other subjects. This was published by a non profit press in Chicago, so it might be a bit difficult to find, but if you can get your hands on it, pick it up and enjoy!

[Samantha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Most of the people I know who watched Gossip Girl wouldn’t understand this and most of the people I know who would understand this wouldn’t watch Gossip Girl, but for those few who live in the center of that Venn Diagram, this is a fascinating read.

[Liv Lunch · Rating 4 out of 5]

this was great very smart a smart person wrote this i think. im glad i picked this up yay

[Bucketsofbooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

God what an incredible creation. Love how it plays with form. Want more really bad but don’t all the good books leave you that way?

[nervousyoungsam · Rating 5 out of 5]

so weird and trippy and philosophical. i absolutely loved it from start to finish.

[Jessica Duckworth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would join a book club if this were the book. This book will only make sense if you have watched gossip girl 3-7 times, and I loved it b

[Lis · Rating 5 out of 5]

so fucking good

[Finn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wish it were 300 pages longer

[pseudo babble · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really good but you are rich and white and a new york native so i resent you sorry

[Malia Losa · Rating 3 out of 5]

(3.5) - more books should feature non binary ghosts (and i’ve always said that)

[Josephine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Trying to describe this book to someone is like doing whippets mid conversation and hoping it makes sense - 10/10

[Paige · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read in like 4 hours, very emotional

[Kel · Rating 2 out of 5]

not quite what I was expecting - didn't really do it for me

[Marc Rosen · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Some trans men fail out of being girls, and some trans guys are hot girls. If it doesn’t feel real, that might help you do it better”

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

it was good, loved learning about the aughts!! but man the typos were killing me

[katm]

delightful :)
this book made me feel like, "a book can be anything you want it to be"