Anguish Languish

by Howard L. Chace

This work has been selected by scholars as being culturally important and is part of the knowledge base of civilization as we know it. This work is in the public domain in the United States of America, and possibly other nations. Within the United States, you may freely copy and distribute this work, as no entity (individual or corporate) has a copyright on the body of the work. Scholars believe, and we concur, that this work is important enough to be preserved, reproduced, and made generally available to the public. To ensure a quality reading experience, this work has been proofread and republished using a format that seamlessly blends the original graphical elements with text in an easy-to-read typeface. We appreciate your support of the preservation process, and thank you for being an important part of keeping this knowledge alive and relevant.

Genres: Humor

72 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1956

Reviews

[Jason Schmidt · Rating 4 out of 5]

40 pages of Anguish (English) Languish (Language). This is a trippy look at how complete word replacement of sentences, even without synonymous meanings related to the original diction choice, does not negate the comprehension of a text…at least, in theory. The reason I gave this a four out five is because, while it is an interesting challenge to decode the replaced words, I might argue that part of the reason it works is because we are made aware of what the original texts were. Because these are famous rhymes and fables, they are embedded in our psyche, and we have already been provided a “decoder” (of sorts); the ones that I was unfamiliar with, I really struggled to know whether I was translating/interpreting correctly. But, still, an interesting idea.

[notgettingenough · Rating 4 out of 5]

Observing the difficulties of speech recognition could not be more fun.

From the introduction:

Policemen and Magicians

A visiting professor of Anguish, Dr. ________,* who, while learning to understand spoken English, was continually bewildered and embarrassed by the similarity of such expressions as boys and girls and poisoned gulls, used to exclaim:

*This isn't his real name, nor is it intended to be the name of any other Anguish Languish professor, living or dead.

"Gracious! What a lot of words sound like each other! If it wasn't [sic] for the different situations in which we hear 'em, we'd have a terrible time saying which was which."

Of course, these may not have been the professor's exact words, because he often did his exclaiming in Anguish rather than in English. In that case he would say:

"Crashes! Water larders warts sunned lack itch udder! Effervescent further delerent saturations an witch way harem, wade heifer haliver tam sang witch worse witch."

Dr. ________ was right, both in English and Anguish. Although other factors than the pronunciation of words affect our ability to understand them, the situation in which the words are uttered is of prime importance. You can easily prove this, right in the privacy of your own kitchen, by asking a friend to help you wash up a dozen cops and sorcerers. Ten to one, she'll think you said a dozen cups and saucers, and be genuinely surprised if you put her to work cleaning up even one police officer, let alone all the others, and the magicians, too.

If you think that she misunderstands merely because the two phrases sound somewhat alike and not because of the situation, read what SPAL's Committee on Housewives has to say:

"Presented with a dishes-piled-in-sink situation, several hundred well-adjusted housewives thought that cops and sorcerers referred to dishes, but seldom did normal subjects, interviewed under the same conditions, make the opposite mistake. When they were asked to help us wash cups and saucers, some women consented, some made stupid excuses, and some told us bluntly to go wash them ourselves, but practically no one thought that we were talking about policemen and magicians."

The whole book is online here: http://www.crockford.com/wrrrld/angui...

[Natalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A delightful little book that sadly is no longer in print. The text can be found online, and should be read aloud in a small-group setting. Perhaps best known for the story "Ladle Rat Rotten Hut" which is contained in its pages.

The best explanation of this book comes from the author's introduction: "an unbelievable number of English words, regardless of their usual meanings, can be substituted quite satisfactorily for others. When all the words in a given passage of English have been so replaced, the passage keeps its original meaning, but all the words have acquired new ones. A word that has received a new meaning has become a wart, and when all the words in the passage have become warts, the passage is no longer English; it's Anguish."

"People who aren't sure of themselves should learn Anguish. Suppose you have been asked to dinner by the president of your company and his wife. Since you haven't met your hostess, you have spent some time, before going, thinking up something to say that will really interest her. Finally you decide to ask, during the dinner:
'Mrs. Bellowell, didn't I hear that your brother Henry was discovered to be in collusion with those election crooks?'
"The moment arrives, but you no sooner get her attention than you have sudden misgivings. Too late to change your subject, you slip deftly into Anguish:
'Mrs. Bellowell . . . deaden are hair ditcher broader Hennery worse dish-cupboard toe bang collision wet dozer liquor-chin crocks?'
"Whether or not such a calamity is likely to occur seems entirely beside the point; in times like these one should be prepared for any emergency.

"Chances are that everyone will be so fascinated by the graceful form of your question that not even your hostess will attach much importance to what you've asked."

[Larry Page · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this book for $1.00 in the basement of Arnold's used books in Traverse City, MI. Did not know at the time that it would become a rare collectors edition.
Arnold's was a used bookstore crammed with books both on the ground floor and in the basement managed by an elderly Mrs. Arnold (at least she seemed old to 30 year old me at the time). Alas, time marches on and Arnold's is no more as most likely is Mrs. Arnold and I am now elderly and back in Traverse City after a forty some year hiatus.

[Caitlin · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a pretty cute idea--stories told in the 'Anguish Languish'instead of the 'English language,' using words that sound similar. It retells fairy tales, poems, and songs that are recognizable, which helps the reader out with translation.
But it's still basically making recognizable works hard to read--a cute concept, as I said earlier, but not one that worked for me.

[Marcia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wants pawn term, dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift welter murder honor itch offer lodge dock florist. Disc ladle gull orphan worry putty ladle rat hut and fur disc raisin pimple colder ladle rat rotten hut. Wan moaning ladle rat rotten hut mitt end anonymous woof!

[Johara Almogbel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I forgot I hadn't reviewed this book! Mad fun. I found the whole thing delightfully hilarious, and the author managed to pull of a great seriously humurous introduction. I am definitely going to hunt for a physical copy, it would be a great addition to my library.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Diss hertz zee bur ain.


http://www.crockford.com/wrrrld/angui...