I'll be Home Soon: How to Prevent and Treat Separation Anxiety.

by Patricia B. McConnell

Figure out if your dog suffers from genuine separation anxiety or just bad manners. Then learn how to keep her happy and your home safe while our are gone. Better yet, learn to prevent problems in the first place!

Genres: Dogs, Nonfiction, Animals, Reference

37 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2000

About the author

Patricia McConnell, Ph.D., a Certified Applied Animal Behaviorist, (CAAB) has made a lifelong commitment to improving the relationship between people and animals. She is known worldwide as an expert on canine and feline behavior and dog training, and for her engaging and knowledgeable dog training books, DVDs and seminars. Patricia has seen clients for serious behavioral problems since 1988, and is an Adjunct Associate Professor in Zoology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, teaching "The Biology and Philosophy of Human/Animal Relationships." For fourteen years she dispensed advice about behavior problems, and information about animal behavior research, on Wisconsin Public Radio's Calling All Pets, which was heard in over 90 cities around the country.

Patricia received her Ph.D. in Zoology in 1988 from the University of Wisconsin-Madison researching dog behavior and communication between professional trainers and working domestic animals.

Reviews

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have a dog. When I come home he usually welcomes me with as many toys/shoes/towels that he can fit in his mouth and he wags his tail so violently that his entire body shakes. I have considered renaming him, 'Shakes the Clown' or 'Shakey McShakerson.' You might think this is sweet, but it turns out that dogs aren't necessarily supposed to be that freaking excited when you come home from being away for an hour or 10.

Recently, my roommate moved out and took her cats. Around the time she was moving out, my dog took a liking to relieving himself on a particular spot in the living room. He does this almost every day. He never did it before, I've had him for a relatively "accident" free year before this started happening. Pretty sure he's not mad at me, because I've been a way worse owner before he started doing this.

Anyway, I read this book at the recommendation of a coworker who trains dogs. It's loaded with a lot of good information about how to tell if your dog has Separation Anxiety or if he's just a dick. McConnell also provides some advice on how to correct the problems.

After reading it, I have determined that my dog does not have full-blown separation anxiety - he's just part anxious, part A$$hole.

Currently, my theory as to why my dog is ruining my life is because robbers try to break in to my house multiple times a week, but never on weekends and my dog scares them away by pissing himself all over my carpet. Then ripping up another area of the carpet as if he just deuced outside.

The next step is to test this hypothesis. I'm a science nut, so this is right up my alley. First, I must acquire a video camera. Any of you have one I can borrow, so I may do my sciencey stuff? You'll be credited in my case study that will be published in Dog Fancy and Field & Stream. Please. Help me save my carpet.

[Jennifer (formerly Eccentric Muse) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Here's what's funny about this book: McConnell believes that 'true' separation anxiety is a more rare rarer less common phenomenon than is believed. And/but: it behooves all dog owners to do what they can to prevent it in their dogs.

Fab marketing!

That said, there's some good, common-sense advice in here that my neighbours need to read. (Bubbles, a pekingnese, is so undersocialized as to be painful to watch; and his sep anxiety is so severe that they now have a collar on him that squirts a noxious substance in his face as soon as he barks. Can you say punishment for a symptom, the root cause of which remains untreated? Appalling.)

How obnoxious would I be if I slipped this book under their door? Well, after all, that's why I bought it.

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I hope in a couple of months I can say this book helped.

Edit: I wish the this book was a bit more detailed but I have been applying the methods for our recently adopted pup...in two days he has been responding well. I look forward to his progress.

[Rebeka · Rating 4 out of 5]

Patricia B McConnell is a master at getting dog behaviour concepts across in really easy-to-understand ways. This booklet is a good thorough summary of most that is known about separation anxiety in dogs, the prognosis for the afflicted and the currently accepted way to treat this issue.

A detriment is that McConnell assumes that the reader is a person owning a house that has multiple bedrooms, basement rooms, backyards, safe neighbourhoods and enough disposable income for an everyday dog sitter. The advice, however, is solid. It is also only 40 pages long - and I believe many of the self-help nonfiction books could learn from this and stop talking vaguely over and over about the same topic. Either get research deeply, or be succinct, but don't make me annoyed that you padded out the whole book.

Some quotes:

This has been so true all throughout my research and dog training life. If something seems really straightforward and intuitive (like a dog looking guilty means it actually feels guilt), that means you don't have it quite right! There are so many concepts where the real answer is roundabout and much more complicated than appearances - such as the son not being a flat disc in the sky that rotates around the earth!

Sure she looks guilty when you walk in the door and the kitchen has been remodeled. But that doesn’t mean that she “knows” she shouldn’t do it and is just doing it for spite. What she “knows” is that if you come home and there’s a chair in toothpicks or puddles all over the carpet, you’re going to launch into a dramatic display of anger. Her appeasing posture is designed to avert your wrath. So don’t be fooled by her groveling and slinking around — she’s waving a white flag so you don’t shoot, and it won’t have the slightest impact on what she does the next day when you’re gone. Don’t believe me? You’re not alone, the belief that dogs “know” that they shouldn’t chew on the couch is a very hard one to give up. If you find that you can’t believe me, you might ask yourself if scolding her when you return home is working. If it’s not, for whatever reason, perhaps you might want to consider another alternative, unless of course you enjoy returning to inside-out couches.

A perfect example of rationalizing all about the potential reasons of why this owners dog had diarrhea would all be useless if we didn't know that there were airplanes going over the house at a certain time of the day. It is always better to withhold blame for our pets. They never do things to spite us.

Another dog that I remember was perfectly comfortable as his owner left, but each day when she returned, the dog had defecated brown water puddles all over the house. Welcome home, having a good day? (Not any more.) This pattern really didn’t fit classic Separation Anxiety symptoms because the dog seemed so relaxed when she left, so we tape recorded during the day and found out that 1) the dog was only upset in the afternoon and 2) the flight path of the local National Guard had changed, and every day around 2 pm the house was bombarded with low flying jets that rattled the windows and shook the walls.

Some razor-sharp humor too

If they scoot down the hall and urinate in the guest bedroom when you’re not watching I want you to roll up a newspaper and hit yourself on the head with it, saying “bad human, bad human.” That was your mistake, not theirs.

[Soph · Rating 4 out of 5]

4⭐️

Ya know what, this aged WELL

[Missy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easy and very quick read for good strategies for dog behaviors and separation anxiety.

[Jazz · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 STARS | I've loved every book I've read by this writing team! They are short, to the point, with realistic suggestions. In this case, a schedule is even included at the end to help the owner treat separation anxiety in their own special circumstances. I was relieved, on the basis of the definition of "separation anxiety" in this book (and confirmed by my vet), that my own dog does not have it. Just being a "velcro dog" does not qualify. Separation anxiety generally includes destructive behavior, often as dangerous to the dog as to the home. Still, I read this thoroughly, to see if there were tips I could use even for mild anxiety, such as my getting out the door without whining and barking. And I did find help, as I've done with all the books I've read by these authors. I'm happy to say my own dog is doing much better when I leave home now. My biggest takeaway came near the end, where the author advises on getting a second doggy friend for your seemingly lonely dog. She says, don't do it unless you really want a second dog for yourself! Wise advice.

[April Franklin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great suggestions but I wish it included a few more tips for the dog that is not very motivated by food treats. My dog really doesn't care about treats; when training him, he cares way more about attention than treats. But the whole problem is we have to be able to leave him. If we can't distract him with a food treat, we aren't sure how to make our leaving easier, because the method in this book is very centered on food treats. Still, really good tips about desensitizing the cues that you are leaving and overall a reassuring read filled with understanding and humor for those of us with a "velcro dog" who freaks out when his humans leave.

[Michel · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is a very straight forward guide on how to understand and address separation anxiety in dogs. It will go through all the cases, providing quick tips and at the end it has a 6 weeks plan that you can put in practice with you pooch.

There is no magic trick, it's consistency, desensitization and conditioning - like anything else related to dog training.

[dori · Rating 5 out of 5]

What we learned from this method worked fantastic for my rescue dog, who had a lot of trauma and uncertainty prior to my adopting him and hated being in a crate, for good reason. Unfortunately his trauma was so bad we had to add Prozac to the mix for a while too, but between the meds, a floofy anxiety bed, Rescue Remedy, CBD and this method, we eventually did it! He isn't ever alone much, the most was 5 hours lol, but he CAN actually BE alone for that time without further destroying my door, terrorizing the neighbors with his screams or causing himself immense distress, and I now have the few hours a day of my life back that needs to be dog-free - going to work and classes or maybe someday some fun on the town lol.

He was a height-of-pandemic adoption but not BECAUSE of the pandemic. I had always wanted a little dog and he came up for adoption, but he required a special home with someone who had the time and experience to work with him, and I did. I'm so proud of us! He will always be a clingy little guy but that is something I love about him. He loves to snuggle and now we can enjoy that time together without him being frenetic and flooded with cortisol.

[Sheilah · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you’ve ever had a pet that just couldn’t cope with you leaving him alone, this short book may help you. I currently have a pup who is suffering from separation anxiety and I like to look back on some of the tips in this book from time-to-time to help me refresh what I should be working on.

The booklet doesn’t have all the answers. My dog isn’t food motivated, and this guide doesn’t address that, but it’s a good place to start if you are looking for information on how to begin addressing your pups anxiety. Just understand that it’s more of an introduction to the problem you are experiencing and not an all encompassing guide.

Additionally, I have employed an animal behaviorist in the past. Books are a great beginning, but when you don’t do this for a living it can be hard for you to see the triggers you are activating in your pup. I recommend you see someone who specializes in anxiety in dogs, in addition to doing your own research.

I recommend this instruction guide for those just in the beginning stages of their education regarding combating separation anxiety.

[Kelsey Deutsch · Rating 5 out of 5]

For a 36 page book, it is very clear and concise with the information it provides to its readers. I had purchased the book a while ago with every intention on reading it, but I shelved it when life got in the way. I recently pulled it as a reference for a client with a dog with possible separation anxiety, and I got absorbed into reading it in one sitting. I appreciate the break up of the book. The flow was very nice and easy to follow. Perfect for owners and trainers alike, even though owners should still consult professionals in severe cases. I really appreciated the fact that the author discussed that most dogs are not experiencing separation anxiety, but actually bad manners and suffering from unrealistic i expectations. Very well put together and will recommend to clients in the future.

[Jonathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A brilliant little book that covers the basics of how to deal with separation anxiety. A few outdated comments and some things I perhaps wouldn't have said myself but on the whole, it has good advice and it does a fabulous job of setting expectations for the owners about the level of dedication and work involved with treating separation anxiety. There's also a 6-8 week sample schedule to treat separation anxiety in dogs.

[Ema Phillips · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brilliant little book that covers the basics of how to deal with separation anxiety. A few outdated comments and some things I perhaps wouldn't have said myself but on the whole good advice and it does a fabulous job of setting expectations for the owners about the level of dedication and work involved with treating separation anxiety.

[Jamie Shaw · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helped me differentiate between my pups "frustration intolerance" and true separation anxiety. But still, it gave me excellent advice on how to prevent it from developing into an anxiety issue as well as how to change his association of me leaving to a very positive thing! I am looking forward to getting started with him.

[Mary Marsell · Rating 5 out of 5]

A short, but very informational, very helpful guide to identifying and working through separation anxiety with your dog, all in a clear and humorous manner. I highly recommend this author for subjects relating to dog-training and will implement what I've learned with my two rescue greyhounds.

[Karoline · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very short and concise guide to using counter conditioning to teach your dog with separation anxiety to be alone. It does cover how you can prevent it and I quite liked how she talked about how you can make your dog excited for you to leave.

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good, short, easy to read break down of how to deal with a dog with separation anxiety. McConnell writes excellent, accessible books for dog owners. I purchased this one in physical form to be able to share it with clients.

[TL Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has been around for years and an updated edition (with some newer meds and info) would be nice. But the background info here on separation anxiety is good and there are lots of examples and ideas for you to try.

[Cynthia L Peters · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has some good information about separation anxiety. It explains the difference between separation anxiety and a bored, destructive dog. It also has a sample training, tips, and a sample training schedule.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Turns out, my dog is normal. Good to know.

[kcfan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good tips if you have a dog with separation anxiety, or other types of anxiety.

[Charles Wendelberger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simple and Effective

As usual, Patricia McConnell makes a difficult topic very understandable. This short book has specific instructions on how to approach and solve the problem.

[Francesca degli Espinosa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Clear and concise

A very practical programme, well explained with clear steps to follow. Followed to programme with a puppy to prevent separation anxiety during lockdown.

[Kim Bell Williams · Rating 2 out of 5]

Positive reinforcement for both dogs and kids takes more energy, time and effort, but works best in the end.

[Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great points, helpful and entertaining as well

[Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book, great topic! Separation Anxiety is blamed for so many things it’s not. Helpful to know the difference.

[Alyssa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very comprehensive book about separation anxiety in dogs. As someone who has been working with dogs for years but never had any formal training courses, I found this book somewhat common sense, but still came away with more help than not on how to work with my dog's separation anxiety.
I would definitely recommend this book for ANYONE adopting a dog for the first time since it goes into detail not only in how to treat s.a. but how to PREVENT it as well. It *doesnt* have to be something dog owners feel they have to live with!
The first in my list of Patricia McConnell books to read. Good job!

[Jupiter394 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful and informative book. What makes it so great is:

- it outlines what truly is and is-not separation anxiety. Why waste time treating a problem you don't have and letting the problem you have go untreated.

- it gives not only preventative steps and treatment steps, but also a sample treatment plan/schedule. That's really helpful if you're feeling a little overwhelmed.

I was thinking my dog had separation anxiety and she may have, but this book helped me to see that she probably doesn't and I need to do a little more investigation before I start to treat her issues.

Short but good read.

[Mel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a good starting point to logically organise and categorise dog behaviour to identify if my dog has true separation anxiety, or just bad behaviours. This helps me to discuss the problems and possible solutions with my behaviourist.
There are some great ideas in here that can be used to build up your dog to the point where they can recover from this condition. I however must be at work everyday, and there is no one to petsit her during the day, so I think my dogs' desensitisation will take much longer. But with the help of books like these, my supportive behaviourist and LOTS of Kong's, I'm sure we'll get there one day!