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Secrets and Indiscretions: A Pride and Prejudice Variation
“Secrets and Indiscretions” is a romantic, low angst, entertaining “Pride and Prejudice Variation” of approximately 30,000 words.
What if, during Elizabeth's stay at Netherfield, Bingley finds Darcy’s diary lost in the library? And he reads it? The diary is the only record of Darcy’s inner struggle between his reason and duty, and his overwhelming passion and admiration for Miss Elizabeth Bennet’s fine eyes. What is written in it is not meant for any living soul. But now Bingley knows, and much more than he should. The shame is overwhelming for both friends and their relationship itself is put on trial.
Upset with himself for his weakness and his obsession with Miss Elizabeth Bennet, embarrassed that Bingley has discovered his deepest secrets, caught between duty and desire and struggling to protect his privacy, Fitzwilliam Darcy is caught in the midst of a storm of emotions where he feels lost as never before. And the situation gets even worse when he has to face an old enemy.
Will he leave Hertfordshire and run away from any dangerous indiscretions and temptations, or will he be capable of putting his pride, resentfulness and haughtiness aside, allowing other sentiments to come to the surface?
What if, during Elizabeth's stay at Netherfield, Bingley finds Darcy’s diary lost in the library? And he reads it? The diary is the only record of Darcy’s inner struggle between his reason and duty, and his overwhelming passion and admiration for Miss Elizabeth Bennet’s fine eyes. What is written in it is not meant for any living soul. But now Bingley knows, and much more than he should. The shame is overwhelming for both friends and their relationship itself is put on trial.
Upset with himself for his weakness and his obsession with Miss Elizabeth Bennet, embarrassed that Bingley has discovered his deepest secrets, caught between duty and desire and struggling to protect his privacy, Fitzwilliam Darcy is caught in the midst of a storm of emotions where he feels lost as never before. And the situation gets even worse when he has to face an old enemy.
Will he leave Hertfordshire and run away from any dangerous indiscretions and temptations, or will he be capable of putting his pride, resentfulness and haughtiness aside, allowing other sentiments to come to the surface?
107 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 12, 2021
35 people are currently reading
16 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
May 13, 2022
Fitzwilliam Darcy’s dropped diary gives Charles Bingley insight into his friends thoughts about Elizabeth Bennet. Armed with this information, their conversations and behaviors are much different than cannon. With Bingley acting as the voice of reason and being strong about his feelings toward Jane, the situations are just a bit different and fun.
January 2, 2022
Avid Reader
What an interesting story! I took a break from the Christmas collection. What made Bingley think that Darcy was writing about Jane is beyond me and sounds bonkers actually! Wickham got what was coming to him. It was the first time he made fun of Elizabeth, and he should have many books ago! Colonel Forster finally woke up and dealt with Wickham!Darcy and Elizabeth had their hard work HEA!
What an interesting story! I took a break from the Christmas collection. What made Bingley think that Darcy was writing about Jane is beyond me and sounds bonkers actually! Wickham got what was coming to him. It was the first time he made fun of Elizabeth, and he should have many books ago! Colonel Forster finally woke up and dealt with Wickham!Darcy and Elizabeth had their hard work HEA!
August 27, 2023
I've become a Layla Johnson fan because her books are better than average, well edited, and interesting. This novella has more than usual errors for her books, but I just read three with horrendous editing, so I'm not too displeased. As far as novellas go, often the story isn't satisfying because it's too short, but I didn't find that happened in this case.
My review will go over technical points and won't have a synopsis or much in the way of subjective analysis since I try to find problems that annoy readers, yet other reviewers tend to ignore.
- The plot contains a complete story arc with an original theme that's interesting. The start covered aspects of canon well in a brief, refreshing way without quoting Austen.
- Flow is forward throughout and is a good, steady pace that's comfortable for the reader.
- Point of view is third person multiple, however, there's two instances of head-hopping.
- "Telling" using filter words such as "felt" (could be replaced with a "to be" word) robs the reader of the experience they would have if the author had used "showing."
- Good use of rhetorical devices.
- Dramatic tension was mostly fairly low, up to moderate angst at one point where we're worried about the villain.
- Good Regency language with a few more than normal errors in non-Regency words (10) and no Americanisms found. Two situations of the wrong word were found, and one big word had to be looked up. There was only one contraction. "Laconic" describes lack of speaking, not an expression. A modern phrase was "would it have killed you?".
- Either the editor missed a lot of punctuation issues or the author went in and added some commas after the fact, because a lot of common punctuation errors were seen: three unnecessary commas before "that" (actually, I think the word should have been "which," which takes a comma) as well as five before since and one before "as;" a comma that should have been a semicolon (comma splice); em-dashes for a parenthetical phrase where commas should have been used; and an extra comma that wasn't needed.
- A Regency error was a reference to Darcy accomplishing "work." Gentlemen did not work, and no one ever implied that they did.
- Canon says Collins was 25; this book puts him in his late twenties for no good reason.
- Scene setting was sparse. The author could have made the book sparkle with more description of sights, sounds, smells, etc.
- Characterization was good for the book. Some extra characters (friends of Denny's with non-canon, non-matching names) were unnecessary and distracting (was she naming friends?). Even Collins's presence was a bit much considering his importance to the plot line.
- The romantic aspect was fairly well done, with development at a good pace. I would have liked to see a little more fire and passion. The author could work on her wording for a good romantic "showing" situation.
- The cover is too generic, and though the diary fits the book, the rest muddles the issue and makes it look like any old JAFF novel. In addition, it's too dark to "POP!" I do like the font selection, though the balance on the page appears a bit off. Perhaps an amateur artist.
This novella was short and sweet, with a satisfying story encompassing a good premise, interesting twist and turns, and a satisfying outcome for the protagonists. Timing was impeccable to allow for completion of the complexities of the book in so few words. Editing was above average, not quite up to the high standard usually set by this specific editor, though I wonder if the author did some damage after the fact, a situation not unknown in self-publishing.
Some authors pimp their books incessantly, spamming social media with daily doses on multiple groups with books that needed editing badly, so much so that we have to snooze them. You never hear from Layla Johnson. And it's a pity. She's as good as or better than many popular authors.
Disclaimer: I'm a JAFF author, and some might claim that this review is a conflict of interest. However, I was a reader first, and my reviews are honest and impartial. I write them for the benefit of both the reader and the author.
My review will go over technical points and won't have a synopsis or much in the way of subjective analysis since I try to find problems that annoy readers, yet other reviewers tend to ignore.
- The plot contains a complete story arc with an original theme that's interesting. The start covered aspects of canon well in a brief, refreshing way without quoting Austen.
- Flow is forward throughout and is a good, steady pace that's comfortable for the reader.
- Point of view is third person multiple, however, there's two instances of head-hopping.
- "Telling" using filter words such as "felt" (could be replaced with a "to be" word) robs the reader of the experience they would have if the author had used "showing."
- Good use of rhetorical devices.
- Dramatic tension was mostly fairly low, up to moderate angst at one point where we're worried about the villain.
- Good Regency language with a few more than normal errors in non-Regency words (10) and no Americanisms found. Two situations of the wrong word were found, and one big word had to be looked up. There was only one contraction. "Laconic" describes lack of speaking, not an expression. A modern phrase was "would it have killed you?".
- Either the editor missed a lot of punctuation issues or the author went in and added some commas after the fact, because a lot of common punctuation errors were seen: three unnecessary commas before "that" (actually, I think the word should have been "which," which takes a comma) as well as five before since and one before "as;" a comma that should have been a semicolon (comma splice); em-dashes for a parenthetical phrase where commas should have been used; and an extra comma that wasn't needed.
- A Regency error was a reference to Darcy accomplishing "work." Gentlemen did not work, and no one ever implied that they did.
- Canon says Collins was 25; this book puts him in his late twenties for no good reason.
- Scene setting was sparse. The author could have made the book sparkle with more description of sights, sounds, smells, etc.
- Characterization was good for the book. Some extra characters (friends of Denny's with non-canon, non-matching names) were unnecessary and distracting (was she naming friends?). Even Collins's presence was a bit much considering his importance to the plot line.
- The romantic aspect was fairly well done, with development at a good pace. I would have liked to see a little more fire and passion. The author could work on her wording for a good romantic "showing" situation.
- The cover is too generic, and though the diary fits the book, the rest muddles the issue and makes it look like any old JAFF novel. In addition, it's too dark to "POP!" I do like the font selection, though the balance on the page appears a bit off. Perhaps an amateur artist.
This novella was short and sweet, with a satisfying story encompassing a good premise, interesting twist and turns, and a satisfying outcome for the protagonists. Timing was impeccable to allow for completion of the complexities of the book in so few words. Editing was above average, not quite up to the high standard usually set by this specific editor, though I wonder if the author did some damage after the fact, a situation not unknown in self-publishing.
Some authors pimp their books incessantly, spamming social media with daily doses on multiple groups with books that needed editing badly, so much so that we have to snooze them. You never hear from Layla Johnson. And it's a pity. She's as good as or better than many popular authors.
Disclaimer: I'm a JAFF author, and some might claim that this review is a conflict of interest. However, I was a reader first, and my reviews are honest and impartial. I write them for the benefit of both the reader and the author.
November 15, 2021
A whole lot of nothing
I kept hoping it would get interesting. The whole thing could have been written in 1000 words. The secret is not exciting and neither is the rest of the story. It was not worth the read.
I kept hoping it would get interesting. The whole thing could have been written in 1000 words. The secret is not exciting and neither is the rest of the story. It was not worth the read.
November 19, 2021
Delightful!!
As much as I love pride and prejudice Fan fiction, I am always Leary of a short story. Why? Because Invariably They are not truly flushed out stories. They tend to jump about and rush to a conclusion. I am delighted to give this short story 5 stars because it is a fully fleshed out story, with no jumping about, and nothing rushed about it. Even better, It is Witty, Suspenseful, Clever, Original, and Worth Reading.
As much as I love pride and prejudice Fan fiction, I am always Leary of a short story. Why? Because Invariably They are not truly flushed out stories. They tend to jump about and rush to a conclusion. I am delighted to give this short story 5 stars because it is a fully fleshed out story, with no jumping about, and nothing rushed about it. Even better, It is Witty, Suspenseful, Clever, Original, and Worth Reading.
November 28, 2021
Wonderful
I love these short JAFF variations wherein Darcy acts a lot more quickly to reveal Wickham's perfidy, and to reveal his more positive traits. The story begins during Elizabeth's stay at Netherfield Park to nurse her sister Jane. Darcy is struggling with his attraction to Elizabeth, and recording his innermost thoughts in a diary. The diary is accidentally found by Bingley, who is stunned to learn that Darcy is in love with Elizabeth. Bingley let's Darcy know quite bluntly that Elizabeth doesn't even like Darcy, a fact that Darcy soon discovers is true. He resolves to improve Elizabeth's opinion of him.
The story covers the introduction of the Bennett ladies to Wickham, the arrival and stay of Mr Collins, and the Netherfield ball. All of these provide the opportunity for Darcy to prove his worth, and for Elizabeth to gradually warm up to him.The romance is lovely. This is a swoon worthy Darcy, and a courageous Elizabeth. She, in particular, has to very bravely face up to Darcy with her mistakes about him, and she does it valiantly. This is Lizzy and Darcy as we love to see them.
Wickham and Mr Collins are the only "villains". I didn't miss Lady Catherine, Caroline Bingley, or even that annoying Lydia. The book is well written and well edited. It's a pleasant way to pass few hours. I recommend it highly.
I love these short JAFF variations wherein Darcy acts a lot more quickly to reveal Wickham's perfidy, and to reveal his more positive traits. The story begins during Elizabeth's stay at Netherfield Park to nurse her sister Jane. Darcy is struggling with his attraction to Elizabeth, and recording his innermost thoughts in a diary. The diary is accidentally found by Bingley, who is stunned to learn that Darcy is in love with Elizabeth. Bingley let's Darcy know quite bluntly that Elizabeth doesn't even like Darcy, a fact that Darcy soon discovers is true. He resolves to improve Elizabeth's opinion of him.
The story covers the introduction of the Bennett ladies to Wickham, the arrival and stay of Mr Collins, and the Netherfield ball. All of these provide the opportunity for Darcy to prove his worth, and for Elizabeth to gradually warm up to him.The romance is lovely. This is a swoon worthy Darcy, and a courageous Elizabeth. She, in particular, has to very bravely face up to Darcy with her mistakes about him, and she does it valiantly. This is Lizzy and Darcy as we love to see them.
Wickham and Mr Collins are the only "villains". I didn't miss Lady Catherine, Caroline Bingley, or even that annoying Lydia. The book is well written and well edited. It's a pleasant way to pass few hours. I recommend it highly.
March 25, 2023
Typical adaptation
It's a typical adaptation of Miss Austens work with just a few changes in dialogue and some events. In the beginning it revolves around Charles reading some of Darcy's private diary and the men have several disagreements over his thoughts. A few times Darcy's ready to leave and never return. Then Wickhams arrival leads Elizabeth to finally get the correct information from Darcy but only after she overheard Wickhams disgusting comments about her ' too old' and her youngest sister who he has plans with.
In all its fairly the same thing - move a few events and dialogue about and that is it. Its well written and definitely tolerable.
It's a typical adaptation of Miss Austens work with just a few changes in dialogue and some events. In the beginning it revolves around Charles reading some of Darcy's private diary and the men have several disagreements over his thoughts. A few times Darcy's ready to leave and never return. Then Wickhams arrival leads Elizabeth to finally get the correct information from Darcy but only after she overheard Wickhams disgusting comments about her ' too old' and her youngest sister who he has plans with.
In all its fairly the same thing - move a few events and dialogue about and that is it. Its well written and definitely tolerable.
September 3, 2024
3.5*
Not sure how I feel about Bingley in this. I know that if I were Darcy I would question the true nature of Bingley's friendship. At the very least trust would be seriously undermined after Bingley's betrayal of trust and throwing shade at Darcy's character, to Darcy's face, more than once. And Lizzy... well, she is true to form up until the end, even when her opinion of Darcy improves quite substantially, she *still* assumes the worst of him.
Not sure how I feel about Bingley in this. I know that if I were Darcy I would question the true nature of Bingley's friendship. At the very least trust would be seriously undermined after Bingley's betrayal of trust and throwing shade at Darcy's character, to Darcy's face, more than once. And Lizzy... well, she is true to form up until the end, even when her opinion of Darcy improves quite substantially, she *still* assumes the worst of him.
January 2, 2022
A treat to read
For such a short story, the growth of Darcy and Elizabeth's relationship was visible. Kudos for showing Darcy and Elizabeth having the important conversation that broke the ice, instead of telling us they cleared the air. I enjoyed everything about this story.
For such a short story, the growth of Darcy and Elizabeth's relationship was visible. Kudos for showing Darcy and Elizabeth having the important conversation that broke the ice, instead of telling us they cleared the air. I enjoyed everything about this story.
August 27, 2023
This was a light sort of a quick read. Bingley reads Darcy's diary, finds out about his fascination with Elizabeth at Netherfield, Darcy wises up about Elizabeth's dislike faster and everyone is enlightened about Wickham's character.
November 13, 2021
4.4 stars
Enjoyable, with quite a comeuppance for Wickham.
Enjoyable, with quite a comeuppance for Wickham.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews