All the Men I Never Married

by Kim Moore

All The Men I Never Married is the highly anticipated second collection by Kim Moore. The author portrays relationships with a passionate realism that encompasses complicity and ambiguity, violence and tenderness, and an understanding of the layers of complexity and complicity that exist between men and women.

Genres: Poetry, Feminism

70 pages, Paperback

Published January 4, 2022

About the author

Kim Moore lives in Barrow, Cumbria. She has a PhD from Manchester Metropolitan University, and now works there as a Lecturer in Creative Writing.
Her poems have been published in the TLS, Poetry Review, Poetry London, and elsewhere. She regularly appears at festivals and events, her prize-winning pamphlet, If We Could Speak Like Wolves (Smith-Doorstop) was chosen as an Independent Book of the Year in 2012 and was shortlisted for other prizes. Moore won an Eric Gregory Award in 2011 and the Geoffrey Dearmer Prize in 2010. In 2014 she won a Northern Promise award. She writes a thoughtful blog and has a wide social media following. The Art of Falling (Seren) is her debut collection. Her latest poetry collection All The Men I Never Married (Seren, 2021) won the Forward Prize for Best Collection. What The Trumpet Taught Me (Smith/Doorstop, 2022) is her first creative non-fiction book, followed by Are You Judging Me Yet? Poetry and Everyday Sexism (Seren, 2023).

Reviews

[Rae · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you can't wait for Megan Fox's book of poems about how terrible men are, Kim Moore has got you covered!

I have a lot of respect for this accessible, conversational collection of poetry.

The poems varied in how evocative and relatable they were, but Moore's voice is readable, compelling, and resonant throughout.

[eleanor · Rating 5 out of 5]

an incredible & very quotable collection of feminist poetry ALSO so accessible i LOVE

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

This collection is beautifully gutwrenching. Everyone needs to read this — Kim captures those men that we have all encountered during our lives, highlights the day-to-day battlefield that being a woman can be, but writes with such craft that it injects these shared stories with hope alongside the heartache. A definite recommendation from me.

[Dessi Bocheva · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not sure why I wasn't fully impressed by this. All the material was there, the poems were often evocative with fantastic imagery being produced as a result. However, I felt as though some ideas weren't fleshed out and space was instead taken up by somewhat repetitive topics.

[Alison Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

I heard you on the radio and you asked “are you judging me yet, are you surprised?” and the same question again in the first poem of this collection. My only judgement is All theMen I Never Married is by far the most sublime poems I have read in a long time , thank you.

[Nathália · Rating 4 out of 5]

4-4.5

[🌶 peppersocks 🧦 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reflections and lessons learned:
“That a man approached you in a nightclub.
That you were polite at first then turned your back.
That he insisted on giving you his number….”

Wow - where to start…. In life I’ve always felt that there are people that choose city style living - by that I don’t mean literally, but I mean trying life, trusting instinct and following heart, opportunities and adventures in the spur of a moment without hesitation or interlocking, knock on effect life plans. Isn’t this how all late teens to late twenty year olds should live if they can? Finding out what suits them and enjoying the life ride?

However, the fearful part of me also recognises that not all experiences are jolly hockey sticks, thigh and shoulder slapping, Ben Fogle ridiculous middle class laugh moments. Life can be brutal and shitty - beyond the rough and the smooth metaphors. That range echoed within the different prose approaches taken.

Through each of these entries I felt the emotion, and the back story, and recognised the torment of being within similar setups, with deep, shaping reactions and outcomes. In hindsight I have no regrets, and was incredibly lucky, but feel the gut punch of the range of possibilities within this journey for each and everyone of us, no matter the scale experienced. A must for anyone who has run towards the metaphorical city on a strong and solo ticket, trying to understand the oddities of life and living in fleeting connection moments and full on relationships

[Elizabeth Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful, thought-provoking collection.

[Lucy Logan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wowee !

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book as a gift.

Different from what I usually read. Even when I felt the poetics weren't my taste, the substance was there. Not always easy to read but necessary. Perhaps even validating.

Quotes (unformatted)
"but I was tired of being kind to men,
always making them feel better about themselves" (41)

"I realise I cannot live
without desire." (69)

[Joanne Nugent · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful collection of poetry exploring relationships.

[Liza M. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rating poetry is always difficult. And although I liked the collection, I must admit a lot of the poems did not really get to me, and I found it difficult to connect at times. There are brilliant poems too. And the ones I didn't like as much I'm sure someone else would love, but All The Men -She- Never Married weren't all very interesting. And I suppose that's a big part of life, a big part of poetry. We write extraordinary things about ordinary people, we romanticise them, and sometimes it's done well, sometimes it's not. I still think this collection must be incredibly personal to the author and want to thank her for letting me discover her world, and realise through her that I also have a lot of men I never married (and its good, really, I'm twenty-three so plenty of time for marriage still) and that maybe I, too, have sometimes put them on a pedestal, and sometimes wish I could forget.

If you need some recommendations, my personal favorite poems were the 43rd "When I open my ribs a dragon flies out..." (the reason I bought this collection in the first place, and a poem I will keep coming back to), the 48th "When he told me not to tell the story of my mother's hair, I was obedient...", the 10th "After the reading a man waits around to tell me..." (a very explicit example of mansplaining really), the 15th, and the 17th and maybe a few others but I wont bore you with the list

[Josie Rushin · Rating 4 out of 5]

feminist poetry reading in search for a text to write about for my creative writing poetry module. the text was recommended to me in a feminist/queer bookshop. the text really connected with me and I am almost certain I will write my essay on this text and its exploration of trauma from sexual assault. i will definitely recommend this to anyone interested in trauma poetry.

update: re-read ahead of writing an essay on the collection. again, this collection is very dear to me, and a lot of the poems in the text connected to me very deeply. in the essay I will be bringing in trauma theory to analyse the text and how it uses a variety of ideas to explore the diversity of sexual assault and the aftermath, especially exploring sexuality, memory and internalising ideas about blame and shame. this collection was not only a pleasure to re-read, due to how it makes me feel so seen and heard, despite its disturbing elements, it is also creative in its use of different styles to explore the theme. again, I would definitely recommend this to anyone who is interested in trauma poetry.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. I got a little bored with this. To be fair, the poems are well-crafted, but the subject matter, men the poet has known or encountered, became very repetitive very quickly.

[Tôpher Mills · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love a book with a great title but the problem with that is, can the contents live up to the cover. This collection easily surpassed my expectations. The poet charts her relations with men, from ex-boyfriends, both good and bad, to friendship, to acquaintances and then to often murkier interactions. These are funny, sad, annoying, scary, stupid and disturbing. Truly an eviscerating and sometimes shocking look at male female relations that reveals the world of everyday casual fear that most women have to live with. It is astonishingly bold, vivid, and passionately, but beautifully, written book, that has something very real to say. My poetry book of the year for 2021.

[Iona]

The poetry in this collection doesn't always align with my personal preferences, I like my poetry with a lot of rhythm and rhyming, although happily I seem to be in the minotiry here. Still, I think it was a very well written collection of poetry about some really tough experiences, and some casual ones. I find it hard to give it a rating so I won't because I know it was well executed and very personal to the author.

My favourite poem in the collection is 25. Here's a snippet:

"he left his guilt behind
I run my hands along each edge
turns out his guilt is very small"

[Marg Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've only recently come across this poet who was the winner of the Forward Prize. There are 48 poems in this collection and are connected by a woman's perception of the men in her life, and by default in the lives of other women. The forms are varied and imaginative eg. couplets, prose and one with a series of black oblongs to indicate a censored words. Imagery is superb. The way in which a poem on the right hand side can answer one on the left. I read 2 or 3 at a sitting and will re-read because there's so much to admire and learn from both as a poet myself and a thinking woman.

[H · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great collection, so many relatable moments. Even if you've not had the same experience, your likely to have been through, or been witness to something similar.
Kim Moore has a great way of putting words to those nameless times in your life, where nothing actually happened, so you don't say anything, but you still taste the fear or regret when your mind unexpectedly brushes up against it.
This collection gives those times in my life a voice.

I saw Kim read from this collection and would thoroughly recommend going along to one of her readings, if you get the chance.

[Victoria · Rating 3 out of 5]

A gut wrenching journey of poems. “14. I imagine you at home” stood out to me the most, but stopped and thought of many poems throughout the book. Her poems make a sharp point of delving into the thoughts and actions that haunt and follow….the partners, exes, acquaintances, and strangers that have no title only the horrible things they said and did. Bottles rage into poetry and is quite a emotional read, beautifully articulated

3/5 emotive, powerful, poetry

[Issy Bailey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn’t feel a consistent internal ‘YES!’ reading this collection. Some poems really blew me away and others left me wondering quite what the writer was trying to do. A few felt repetitive towards the end but there were a lot I found thoughtfully composed and powerfully delivered.

[Emily Donoher · Rating 5 out of 5]

I laughed, cried, giggled silently on trains, tracing my finger line from line then circling right back to the last one to soak in it some more. The greatest exposition of men, and testament of women’s endurance that I have come across in poetry. A favourite!

[Apgepps · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

Some real gems, I loved how she wrote a critic of one of her poems into a poem straight after the criticised one

But the majority didn’t speak to me that much, especially the second half of the book

I’m sure I’ll revisit this at some point

[J.M. Langan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful, harshly truthful and relatable . Everyone should read this, then re-read it. Then talk about the poems in this book.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

CN: sexual violence

I want to give this collection to so many of the women I know - and even to some I used to know.

[Corinne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful, painful, real. 'Are you judging me yet, are you surprised?' No, I'm with you.

[Kexin Huang · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kim uses vivid imagery to depict the fear women experience in society on a regular basis. Every poem in the collection serves as protest against misogyny.

[cait · Rating 5 out of 5]

i wanted to cry on every page of this, what an accomplished and painful collection

[Alice · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Because everything wild within me had gone”

loved this collection of very raw and gut-renching poems

[Anneka · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 and half stars!

[Lucy Brighton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this collection. The concept of all the men she didn’t marry was a brilliant way to hang the poems together. Some amazing imagery. Stark and honest.