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Love Is the Resistance: Learn to Disagree, Resolve the Conflicts You've Been Avoiding, and Create Real Change
When it comes to disagreement, we are in perpetual fight-or-flight mode. Rather than respond with a posture of compassion and connection, we are encouraged to "resist" others personally and politically. Either we engage in fruitless argument with people who refuse to see things our way or we retreat to our echo chambers where everyone agrees with us. But the real resistance, the kind that helps us grow, is learning to love others--especially those who disagree with us.If you're tired of seeing your real-life and online communities in turmoil and you long to be an agent of peace, understanding, and reconciliation, it's time to join a new kind of resistance movement--one that pushes us toward personal transformation. Grounded in Scripture and illustrated with compelling true stories, this new book from Ashley Abercrombie will help you gain the confidence to communicate and connect with others, stop avoiding necessary tension, and resolve your internal and external conflicts.When we make love our habitual reaction to the conflicts and divisions in our lives, we'll find that we can stay true to our convictions without sacrificing our relationships.
189 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 13, 2021
6 people are currently reading
1149 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
September 4, 2021
If you're looking for a read that will give you an opportunity to refuse to engage in many recent struggles in our crazy world, this book is not for you. If, however, you're ready to stand up and love those you may personally disagree with, regardless of if you will ever see eye to eye, then hurry out and get "Love Is the Resistance!"
Abercrombie is a consistent voice for change and her previous book, "Rise of the Truth Teller" snuck up on me and changed my life. I have followed her since and was excited to see another book that seemed just as timely and relevant as the last. With true stories of those who have been left in the wake of cancel culture to those who felt canceling someone was warranted in their eyes, most of these stories get equal time. You must see from another's perspective in order to truly understand their "hows" and "whys."
Abercrombie speaks to the reader as a friend who just wants everyone to remember the simple reminder from Scripture: Love your neighbor as yourself. Even the ones who you don't agree with. Even the ones who have hurt you. But she's not advising being a doormat, either. Abercrombie puts her work gloves on and encourages, admonishes and uplifts in this book about resolving (as much as it depends on you) conflict.
I continue to enjoy and be challenged by Abercrombie's work and can't wait to read more. This would be an excellent starting point for a book discussion group to dive in to. Every chapter has a closing section with Attitudes/ Affirmations/Reflections and Techniques that the reader can sift through for greater understanding. Isn't that what we all want, anyway? A greater understanding of how to love well?
Abercrombie is a consistent voice for change and her previous book, "Rise of the Truth Teller" snuck up on me and changed my life. I have followed her since and was excited to see another book that seemed just as timely and relevant as the last. With true stories of those who have been left in the wake of cancel culture to those who felt canceling someone was warranted in their eyes, most of these stories get equal time. You must see from another's perspective in order to truly understand their "hows" and "whys."
Abercrombie speaks to the reader as a friend who just wants everyone to remember the simple reminder from Scripture: Love your neighbor as yourself. Even the ones who you don't agree with. Even the ones who have hurt you. But she's not advising being a doormat, either. Abercrombie puts her work gloves on and encourages, admonishes and uplifts in this book about resolving (as much as it depends on you) conflict.
I continue to enjoy and be challenged by Abercrombie's work and can't wait to read more. This would be an excellent starting point for a book discussion group to dive in to. Every chapter has a closing section with Attitudes/ Affirmations/Reflections and Techniques that the reader can sift through for greater understanding. Isn't that what we all want, anyway? A greater understanding of how to love well?
September 15, 2021
This book is so needed right now! I found myself both nodding my head and pausing to think critically about what I’d read. This book is challenging for sure. In a world where we’re so polarized - within families, companies, and even driving on the street - this book asks us to push past the divide and connect. I’m thankful for the how to type section at the end of the book and the suggestions. I’m utilizing them as things I try each day or every few days and it helps.
If you want to be a person that helps bring peace and put this world back together, this is a good book for you. If you’re tired of fighting with others or harbouring mean thoughts toward people who have a different belief system or political affiliation, this is the book.
I feel very challenged to be better, and I’m thankful for that!
If you want to be a person that helps bring peace and put this world back together, this is a good book for you. If you’re tired of fighting with others or harbouring mean thoughts toward people who have a different belief system or political affiliation, this is the book.
I feel very challenged to be better, and I’m thankful for that!
August 30, 2022
this book gets all of the stars from me ✨
reading this was so therapeutic and validating.
if you love Jesus and are passionate about social justice, this book is for you.
if you feel immense disconnect between the example of Jesus and the attitudes/actions of the church, this book is for you.
if you need hope when things feel unbearable and change feels far away, this book is for you.
reading this was so therapeutic and validating.
if you love Jesus and are passionate about social justice, this book is for you.
if you feel immense disconnect between the example of Jesus and the attitudes/actions of the church, this book is for you.
if you need hope when things feel unbearable and change feels far away, this book is for you.
January 7, 2022
I didn't know I needed this book. This will definitely minister to your spirit and challenge your faith in all the right was. I love the reflection questions at the end of each chapter and look forward to doing a book study with a few friends.
September 1, 2021
Coming off a year ridden with disconnection and rife with conflict at every turn, this message of hope and love could not have come at a better time. Ashley practically, lovingly, and with great encouragement shows us how to lean into the spaces we've been avoiding to re-connect with ourselves, others, and God. If you are looking for more peace, more joy, more love in your life, look no further than this book.
September 10, 2023
This read more like a compilation of Huffington post's Letters to the Editor than it did a book about disagreement between Christians. Even though I don't find myself always in this community (politically and theologically speaking), it came across as a sort of diatribe against the "deplorables" of the Christian, Conservative, Midwestern, white male community.
It is plagued not only with liberal political drivel but also liberal theology commonplace in the PCUSA and UMC. I eseentially finished the book thinking that we should disagree lovingly, resolve conflict quickly, and seek real change, as long as it is something that Abercrombie holds to - if she is against it, then no holds barred. Pretty much ignore left and punch hard right. I read this book so you do not have to do so.
It is plagued not only with liberal political drivel but also liberal theology commonplace in the PCUSA and UMC. I eseentially finished the book thinking that we should disagree lovingly, resolve conflict quickly, and seek real change, as long as it is something that Abercrombie holds to - if she is against it, then no holds barred. Pretty much ignore left and punch hard right. I read this book so you do not have to do so.
September 8, 2021
It takes a brave soul to call out the sins and fault lines Ashley addresses in her new book. She shares a prophetic dream she had of a female voice crying out in the wilderness to the US church. Rather than give up and walk away from these parts of the church, Ashley takes a courageous path to speak up and speak out to try and call people back to repentance.
When many in today’s society look for leaders to follow rather than think for themselves, Ashley speaks freely and calls out a lot of upsetting trends that have cropped up in US church and society in recent years. As she states in the book, Jeremiah was probably not very well-liked for his calling to uproot and tear down (Jeremiah 1:10).
What Ashley sees wrong in the church and society is not just about surface level political differences, but something deeper— something spiritual. The church needs more women like Ashley staying within it, speaking up and speaking out, and encouraging others to do the same. If you have found yourself battle weary from the state of the US church in recent years, Ashley’s voice will encourage you that you are not alone in critiquing a lot of the issues she raises in her book.
She calls out the unholy marriage between Christianity and nationalism, seeking to call us back to the basics of genuine Christianity and the Gospel. She confronts so many issues that are hindering the advancement of the Gospel and tarring the public image of Christianity. A key quote from the book asks, “Who did Jesus shun? Who did Jesus send away?” Many of the issues Ashley confronts are keeping people from entering the church who would want to be in relationship with Jesus and who Jesus would want to be in relationship with. She also addresses how a lot of church culture is developed and multiplied (worship, teachings, sermons, etc.) in her discussion of monoculture versus polyculture and how this is perpetuating many of the issues she raises in the book.
Towards the end of the book Ashley poignantly asks, “What are you growing? What are your faithful ordinary practices? Will they sustain you when conflict calls?” What great wisdom for how to grow in one’s faith in the day to day and actually be prepared to walk through social upheavals and crises with Christ and in maturity. We desperately need to return to a deeper, more authentic, and more real faith than settling for soundbites, consumer Christianity, and the blind following of the masses.
As a survivor, she includes a powerful exercise in her Chapter called “Woe to the Offender” for survivors of abuse and injustice: write a letter to the offender that they will never read, explain the impact on your daily life, and explain how your life would look differently if they had never done to you what they did. A great starting point for realizing the full impact of injustice and how much it steals from the life of another.
The discussion questions at the end of each chapter provide practical tools for how to learn to work through conflict purposefully with the end goal of creating real and lasting change and becoming more like Christ.
When many in today’s society look for leaders to follow rather than think for themselves, Ashley speaks freely and calls out a lot of upsetting trends that have cropped up in US church and society in recent years. As she states in the book, Jeremiah was probably not very well-liked for his calling to uproot and tear down (Jeremiah 1:10).
What Ashley sees wrong in the church and society is not just about surface level political differences, but something deeper— something spiritual. The church needs more women like Ashley staying within it, speaking up and speaking out, and encouraging others to do the same. If you have found yourself battle weary from the state of the US church in recent years, Ashley’s voice will encourage you that you are not alone in critiquing a lot of the issues she raises in her book.
She calls out the unholy marriage between Christianity and nationalism, seeking to call us back to the basics of genuine Christianity and the Gospel. She confronts so many issues that are hindering the advancement of the Gospel and tarring the public image of Christianity. A key quote from the book asks, “Who did Jesus shun? Who did Jesus send away?” Many of the issues Ashley confronts are keeping people from entering the church who would want to be in relationship with Jesus and who Jesus would want to be in relationship with. She also addresses how a lot of church culture is developed and multiplied (worship, teachings, sermons, etc.) in her discussion of monoculture versus polyculture and how this is perpetuating many of the issues she raises in the book.
Towards the end of the book Ashley poignantly asks, “What are you growing? What are your faithful ordinary practices? Will they sustain you when conflict calls?” What great wisdom for how to grow in one’s faith in the day to day and actually be prepared to walk through social upheavals and crises with Christ and in maturity. We desperately need to return to a deeper, more authentic, and more real faith than settling for soundbites, consumer Christianity, and the blind following of the masses.
As a survivor, she includes a powerful exercise in her Chapter called “Woe to the Offender” for survivors of abuse and injustice: write a letter to the offender that they will never read, explain the impact on your daily life, and explain how your life would look differently if they had never done to you what they did. A great starting point for realizing the full impact of injustice and how much it steals from the life of another.
The discussion questions at the end of each chapter provide practical tools for how to learn to work through conflict purposefully with the end goal of creating real and lasting change and becoming more like Christ.
August 31, 2021
In recent hard times, I feel I've held in grace-filled tension 1) an upset with how people are so hatefully handling all of the mess of our world and throwing blame/shade at everyone who isn't them without 5 minutes to sit with and truly listen, and 2) the deep hope I have in a life lived with God--which calls us to love all people and makes me feel like I need to do something in all this crazy. What are we to do? How do we get people to calm down and see each other? How do we model that ourselves and lovingly bring others to it? What are the bigger connotations of "love" that we're missing that would surely help us in our close relationships and in our society at large? And what the hell does all this look like practically in modern terms beyond just saying it should be done?
Love is the Resistance. Ashley Abercrombie is highlighting a movement and a call to be better. She is at once deeply aware of the raw pain of life and full of winsomeness and hope. Her writing is the perfect pairing of wit, wisdom, grit, and grace.
If you sometimes feel like you're alone as the last person on this earth with any common sense, let this book show you that you're not. We don't all have to agree on everything. But we should all be loving--especially if you're a part of the church and claim to be buddies with Jesus. None of us are perfect, but we are all made in the image of God--and we can find common ground to move past our differences and shortcomings, as challenging as it is.
Love is the Resistance. Ashley Abercrombie is highlighting a movement and a call to be better. She is at once deeply aware of the raw pain of life and full of winsomeness and hope. Her writing is the perfect pairing of wit, wisdom, grit, and grace.
If you sometimes feel like you're alone as the last person on this earth with any common sense, let this book show you that you're not. We don't all have to agree on everything. But we should all be loving--especially if you're a part of the church and claim to be buddies with Jesus. None of us are perfect, but we are all made in the image of God--and we can find common ground to move past our differences and shortcomings, as challenging as it is.
September 17, 2021
If you are feeling overwhelmed and wearied by the conflicts of the world right now - everything from witnessing pain and suffering while also watching pretentiousness and online hatred and experiencing fear from polarized sides - you must read this book. Author Ashley Abercrombie is a humorous, gentle, but committed shepherd who will push you and equip you with tactics, rhetoric and the scriptures start or continue to fight the good fight. This book took all my angst/anger/frustration with current church culture and Christians and recycled it into inspiration and life-giving fuel for the next part of the journey that I/we are all in. You will come away from this book with a new vision for how life and the church can be and how you can participate bringing more of heaven to earth. And not only will you come away from this book feeling rejuvenated like you went on a weekend getaway, but you will also feel challenged. My favorite chapter is chapter 8 "For Lack of Justice There is Waste." Mind blowing. Ashley's comparison of church culture to the farming industry in the last 100 years made so much sense to me and gives me a really tangible analogy of how I've participated in monoculture and how I can do my part in growing the biodiversity of the church. Thank you Ashley for writing this book that edified me and gave me so much clarity and direction. I believe this book will edify this new movement and generation of Christians who want to see His will on earth as it is in heaven.
August 31, 2021
We can all agree that the past few years have been full of so much division. Ashley Abercrombie's new book is a guide and recipe to learn to Love as our first response to conflict. Throughout the book she roots everything in the Love of Christ as our model. She teaches with so much kindness and love toward the reader and invites us to step beyond our comfort zones into being peace makers and justice seekers.
I loved how each chapter finishes with concrete actions and questions to reflect upon what was just read. I am looking forward to taking time to slowly read through again and use the techniques each week. Each chapter I found my self both comforted in the fact that others felt the same way about justice work in the church and challenged in way I respond to conflict. I have learned so much!
I highly recommend this book to anyone who has felt sad at the divided state of the world, those who love the Church but have been hurt by it and those who just want to learn how to disagree better.
I loved how each chapter finishes with concrete actions and questions to reflect upon what was just read. I am looking forward to taking time to slowly read through again and use the techniques each week. Each chapter I found my self both comforted in the fact that others felt the same way about justice work in the church and challenged in way I respond to conflict. I have learned so much!
I highly recommend this book to anyone who has felt sad at the divided state of the world, those who love the Church but have been hurt by it and those who just want to learn how to disagree better.
December 26, 2021
Wow! What an eye opener. As I read this book, it confirmed what’s been in my heart for so long. It is a timely word and it has been so needed needed. Ash, thank you for your courage to put this out in the world. For someone who has grown up in the church, worked for a church, and a faith based non-profit. I’ve been through it all. It gave me hope that things are changing. Healing has been beyond hard, it’s caused me to not want to be apart of church as it has been. I recently moved from LA to Portland, I’m apart of a church plant here that is changing the norm and I am excited to be in a place where I feel confident in sharing church, because at the end of the day it’s about connection, love and doing life together. Again, I couldn’t say thank you enough ♥️ My hope is others will read this before they develop an impression, read it with an open heart & mind. Christianity isn’t supposed to be what it’s developed into.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 26, 2021
Love is the Resistance is exactly the sort of book I wanted to be reading right now. I think many of us are looking around, grasping for some practical, tangible hope and Ashley’s been there and been writing about it. Love is the Resistance includes practical instruction and Ashley’s unmatched truth telling and cadence which is worth the price of admission in itself. Ashley leaves no one unloved, or off the hook.
One of my favourite quotes by Ashley in this book is: “For those who walk with Jesus, what matters most is who we become in the process.” Amen.
Ashley is a voice for this generation and we would do well to listen. She lives this out and loves this out and wrote it down for us. Thank you, Ashley.
One of my favourite quotes by Ashley in this book is: “For those who walk with Jesus, what matters most is who we become in the process.” Amen.
Ashley is a voice for this generation and we would do well to listen. She lives this out and loves this out and wrote it down for us. Thank you, Ashley.
September 3, 2021
The thing I appreciate most about Ashley's writing is how she cares for her reader. It's evident she's in it with you -- more pastor/friend than preacher -- and it goes such a long way! I also appreciate the recovery lens she weaves throughout!
Ashley's own wrestling with moral superiority helped me self reflect and identify my own. In her words: "Superiority in any form is bondage" (p. 106). Chapter 6 taught me about the very illuminating White Identity Model spectrum (by Dr. Janet Helms). And I found Chapter 8: "For Lack of Justice There Is Waste" -- which parallels modern farming practices with Western evangelicalism -- fascinating and brilliant! Will stick with me!
Thanks for your vulnerability, care for others, and captivating writing, Ashley! The world is better for it!
Ashley's own wrestling with moral superiority helped me self reflect and identify my own. In her words: "Superiority in any form is bondage" (p. 106). Chapter 6 taught me about the very illuminating White Identity Model spectrum (by Dr. Janet Helms). And I found Chapter 8: "For Lack of Justice There Is Waste" -- which parallels modern farming practices with Western evangelicalism -- fascinating and brilliant! Will stick with me!
Thanks for your vulnerability, care for others, and captivating writing, Ashley! The world is better for it!
August 31, 2021
In a time where it can feel like everyone in the world is against each other, Ashley exudes a gracious but strong invitation to step into truth with love and as she lays out the practical steps as we all navigate the delicate and messy dynamics of this world. In a societal culture where it is normal to take our disagreements to the internet, Ashley shows us how real and difficult dialogue can not only be powerful but effective in creating a culture of understanding, love and mercy. If you are finding yourself in a position of finding it difficult to give or receive love, I strongly recommend this book!
September 4, 2021
What if, instead of resisting people who have differing opinions than ours, we learn to listen to them with love and compassion? What would our relationships look like if, instead of avoiding conflict, we embraced communication?
In LOVE IS THE RESISTANCE, Ashley Abercrombie encourages us to grow up and learn new ways to resolve discordance–with love.
It is time for us Christians to start acting like Christ. In this book, Abercrombie not only reminds us of this, but she presents God-breathed truths that call us to be agents of peace and love paired with practical tools to help us accomplish it in today’s world.
In LOVE IS THE RESISTANCE, Ashley Abercrombie encourages us to grow up and learn new ways to resolve discordance–with love.
It is time for us Christians to start acting like Christ. In this book, Abercrombie not only reminds us of this, but she presents God-breathed truths that call us to be agents of peace and love paired with practical tools to help us accomplish it in today’s world.
August 25, 2021
This book! Ashley had truly outdone herself in writing this much needed book. I was moved to tears at the duality of being both the one in need of love, as well as the one who has withheld it from rejection. Yet the conviction and compassion from which she penned every word, drew me to the love of the only one who could show us how to love, Jesus. Love is something we could all use in this life! And no matter who you might be in the story of love, it isn't too late to learn how to love well. I highly recommend this book!
August 31, 2021
Ashley walks us through the tension of what we “thought” love was. She speaks into the reality of navigating life within a media driven culture. She has lived through a life divided and vulnerably reminds us that we are not alone, and we can indeed rise from our lowest of lows. She calls us to ask hard questions of ourselves and walks us through expanding our capacity for critical thinking as we seek answers. She constantly calls readers back to the attitudes, affirmations, reflections and techniques to make love our final resistance.
September 17, 2021
A must read for anyone who has felt disenchanted or discouraged with people, particularly in this last year when it felt at times the world had imploded in on itself. Ashley validates our experience and encourages us to not stay stuck in hopelessness but rather to choose Love. This book felt like a good reprimand at times, moving me from complacency into action. Ashley exhorts us to not just “cancel” people when their rude or worse, even abusive in their ideologies and actions, but gives practical and real life applicable solutions to engage.
October 13, 2021
In Love is the Resistance, Abercrombie unfolds both a love letter to her fellow humans and a clarion call to rise above--to resist--the pull of our culture that insists that people we don't like or disagree with are less than. She unpacks problems with the church in America today, the facade of forgiveness without accountability, and in one insanely brilliant chapter draws a parallel to the white evangelical church and mono-culture farming that will likely blow your mind. She is compassionate, pastoral, and prophetic and that combination is hard to come by right now.
April 28, 2024
Such an open view of today’s church. Although it’s an accurate x-ray of the American society/culture, I found many (too many) similarities to the European one. We have to admit that we are far from what the Bible calles us to be - in terms of being voices for the ones with no voice, caring for the marginalized, separating the mixture of Bible + something … to guide us in our “following Jesus” lives.
Praying for re-calibration to what God really says! About us, about His Church, about our purpose.
I so so recommend it! Just read it. It’s eye-opening.
Praying for re-calibration to what God really says! About us, about His Church, about our purpose.
I so so recommend it! Just read it. It’s eye-opening.
August 31, 2021
Love Is the Resistance is *essential* reading for such a time as this. I am so grateful for Ashley Abercrombie's boldness through this book that will truly inspire readers to lean into courageous conversations with the people in their lives. Our relationships matter. Our words matter. Ashley shows us how to steward our words in a way that helps us experience greater connection with one another rather than cause division.
August 31, 2021
Lots to digest.
I’m not sure what to make of this book yet. I have read it once and there is still lots to process. I was hoping for more and maybe after a second reading I will find the more that I am looking for, but right now I have not.
To me this book seems disjointed and the topic at hand, love, is only a passing thought in each chapter.
One day I hope to come back to the review and add to it with more.
I’m not sure what to make of this book yet. I have read it once and there is still lots to process. I was hoping for more and maybe after a second reading I will find the more that I am looking for, but right now I have not.
To me this book seems disjointed and the topic at hand, love, is only a passing thought in each chapter.
One day I hope to come back to the review and add to it with more.
August 31, 2021
This book is what we all need right now! In an age where everyone wants to cancel everyone else, we need a voice who is willing to step out and say it isn’t right. Ashley has done that! She has done it in a way that keeps God and love at the center and encourages everyone to do the same. I would recommend this book to everyone who is feeling burdened by everything they are seeing and wants to know that loving people is still needed to see healing around them.
September 2, 2021
This book is a refreshing take on conflict resolution. Ashley Abercrombie courageously calls out our current societal divides and conflicts and invites us to face them boldly in love. I loved everything about this book, but hearing Ashley's voice and conversational writing style made me feel like I was talking to a good friend over coffee. She is direct, clear and kind when she calls a spade a spade. This book is necessary reading for such a time as this. I loved this book.
August 31, 2021
In a time of extreme division and polarizing narratives, when some friends on social media sound more like internet trolls than compassionate humans, “Love is the Resistance” is a timely must-read. Deeply insightful, yet humorous, this book shows us how to disagree without compromising our values or losing our peace (or our sanity for that matter).
September 8, 2021
I'm only a third of the way through the book and I'm already feeling better about handling conflict. I can think of no topic more relevant, and no author more fair in discussing this topic. Ashley forces you to be more thoughtful about how you handle the big and small conflicts in our life and even gives you permission to show some tough love.
August 31, 2021
Ashley’s book is timely, necessary, and a vision for how to move forward in these divided times! She breaks down nuanced issues in a way that is relatable and palatable. Buy one for yourself and a friend!
September 25, 2021
Timely and resourceful. Ash delivers a message that is both relevant and challenging to all of us who claim to follow the way of Christ. This book is a wonderful tool when engaging, or not, in conflict and disagreement.
November 9, 2021
Ashley left no stone unturned when talking about how we could engage conflict and love our neighbor. I loved her thoughtful examples and especially liked the “action items” at the end of each chapter that gave you thoughtful takeaways and next steps.
December 10, 2022
The Truth
This was a wonderful read. There is an area in this book for everyone to work on in themselves. And if you get to the end and think you don't have an area to work on, read it again because you probably skipped a chapter. ☺
This was a wonderful read. There is an area in this book for everyone to work on in themselves. And if you get to the end and think you don't have an area to work on, read it again because you probably skipped a chapter. ☺
Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews