The Hummingbird Kiss: My Life as an Addict in the 1970s

by Trish MacEnulty

Trish spends her time hustling and cheating to score. Heroin, Dilauids, whatever she can get.

Precisely plotting the slippery slope of a heroin addict's existence, The Hummingbird Kiss paints a bleak picture but still manages to offer a ray of hope. The '70s are young, and 18-year-old Trish is a newlywed. When a Florida judge sentences her junkie husband to ten years for stealing stereos, she immediately seeks out a fix, and before she knows it she's hooked. There follows a long sojourn as she and her friends work small scams to score, head to California in search of better highs, move back to Florida, shoot up and nod off every chance they get — until death gets some of them.

MacEnulty has constructed a gritty and sorrowful book about a young girl with an appetite for the damage done. Trish comes from a broken but still functional family. She's witty, articulate and street-smart enough to know better than to get caught up in this life of self destruction, but childhood abandonment and the ensuing self-loathing are too much for her to manage without medication. Her life unravels as her cross-country wanderings take her from drug dens to rehabs to prison, with a few bleary-eyed months spent scoring drugs in the Tijuana barrios. 

The author spares us no detail of her sordid descent, but Trish remains an engaging voice whose innate grain of goodness and interest in humanity keeps the reader on her side. Trish declines to blame anyone for her calamitous state. All she wants is the "hummingbird kiss of the needle" — the most wonderful experience she knows — until she inevitably winds up in prison and rediscovers the girl she once was. 

Genres: Memoir

Kindle Edition

Published July 4, 2021

About the author

I have also written books under the name "Pat MacEnulty."

Reviews

[CarolG · Rating 4 out of 5]

Before I started this, our library was experiencing a major systems outage which meant I couldn't borrow an audiobook from Libby. I wondered how I was going to get my housework done but luckily this one was Listen Now on Netgalley and I'm glad I decided to give it a try.

I've always been fascinated by how and why people get addicted to drugs and found Trish's account of her years chasing that high really interesting and realistic. I was in my late teens-early 20's during the 1960s and 70s so we're probably around the same age but she looks much better. I could picture the free-wheeling lifestyle she describes which seems so seductive but spells disaster. Her struggles to get clean are heartbreaking and I imagine very frustrating to those who love her. I was happy to find that she is clean and sober with a successful career as a writer and professor

The audiobook is narrated by Kerri Van Kirk and she does an excellent job. It's how I imagine the book would sound if I read it out loud. My only complaint is that there are certain sections with a lot of "he/she said", "I said" repetition and I'm not sure it was necessary to say those words since it was pretty obvious who was speaking.

Thank you to Prism Light Press via Netgalley for the opportunity to listen to this audiobook. All opinions expressed are my own. This book was published in 2021 but the audiobook was just released in November 2023. That edition isn't a choice on Goodreads or Amazon so I chose the Kindle version.

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a very good book and written very naturally and honestly. I hope the very best for the author who looks to now be a professor in college. It pained such a clear picture of addiction and how easy it is to slip back in. Thank you for writing this!

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

“Heroin drowns your will to live.”

The ‘70s were a time of being young, wild, full of peace and free. It was also a time where drugs plagued many areas. Those seeking to get high hardly could see the addiction that would soon have them in a tight grip. Meet Trish, an 18 year old newly wed full of life and in love with her husband so deep she couldn’t see past his flaws. Her husband was sentenced to a ten year prison sentence for theft and Trish felt the only way to cope with losing him was to get high. The high would ultimately last her almost a decade.

Trish became an addict, addicted to anything she could get her hands on. Her main drug of choice was heroin. She hopped from one place to the next in order to score her next high. She was in and out of numerous treatment facilities, knowing she needed to get clean but didn't have the willpower to do it. Even though Trish’s fellow comrades were overdosing and dying.

Trish was very open in this memoir. She knows she did not live an idyllic life, but she was a full blown addict so it did not matter. Her only thoughts were where to get the next fix, and it was by any means necessary.

Thanks to NetGalley for the opportunity to rate and review this book. All opinions are my own.

[DustyBookSniffers - Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

"The Hummingbird Kiss: My Life as an Addict in the 1970s" is a poignant memoir by Trish MacEnulty that offers a raw and honest account of her harrowing journey through drug addiction.

Trish bares her soul as she recounts her tumultuous life, from bidding farewell to her husband in a courthouse to enduring the relentless cycle of addiction. Her story is marked by painful withdrawals, desperate acts of theft to fuel her addiction, and periods of incarceration. Along the way, she grapples with the loss of friends and attempts at rehabilitation, all while grappling with a profound lack of self-love that drives her self-destructive behaviour.

Narrated in the author's own voice, the audiobook adds an additional layer of depth to Trish's compelling narrative. Through her words, listeners are transported into the heart of her experiences, feeling the highs of drug-induced euphoria and the crushing weight of their consequences.

"The Hummingbird Kiss" is a raw and emotional account that vividly captures the realities of addiction in the 1970s. Trish's story serves as a stark reminder of the destructive power of substance abuse, yet also offers a glimmer of hope as she navigates her journey towards recovery.
Overall, this memoir is a powerful testament to resilience, redemption, and the human capacity for healing. Trish's candid storytelling and unwavering honesty make for a compelling read that will leave a lasting impact on readers.

I sincerely thank NetGalley and BooksGoSocial Audio for providing me with a copy of this audiobook in exchange for my honest review.

[Nikki Ruffino-Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so beautifully written. The author, Trish, mesmerized me in how she writes. The addiction was intense for Trish. She liked heroin and dilaudid but anything to alter her, really. She hustles and pulls schemes to keep herself high. I continually found myself rooting for her in this. I just wanted to see her get her happily ever after. Reading online, Trish has continued to write more. Love seeing this and her happy/clean now. I may have to read another book by her.

[Linzi Adkins · Rating 2 out of 5]

The Hummingbird Kiss by Trish MacEnulty was an interesting listen.

Hmmmm…. What to say? I found myself googling the author more than once to see if she was a famous person, wondering if I should know her name, because the book was a little random.

I found the timeline to be a little choppy at times and questioned if I should finish the book.

It was an interesting listen of a drug addict. Interesting. Would I recommend it? I do not think so. There was nothing wrong with it. Well, except wondering why I was listening to it.

The author told her story. It may have been therapeutic for her.

Thank you to NetGalley and BooksGoSocial Audio for the listen in exchange for my honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

How to describe my experience listening to this audiobook? I want to say I was completely hooked, and it’s true, but probably in bad taste.
I was enthralled by this audiobook, from start to finish. The narrator does an excellent job, I felt like I was right there with Trish as she went through every hit and every heist. It’s compulsive listening, harrowing in parts but uplifting and inspiring. I would definitely recommend it, particularly if you enjoyed Melvin Burgess’ Junk. I am sad to leave Trish’s story behind.

Thanks to the author, publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to review an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

[CHenry Roi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well produced memoir that is a candid and engaging account of her struggles with addiction during a tumultuous period. Her vivid storytelling and raw honesty provide a compelling glimpse into the challenges faced by those caught in the grip of substance abuse, while also highlighting the potential for redemption and self-discovery.

[Tara Cignarella · Rating 5 out of 5]

Format Read: Audio from Netgalley (available now)
Review: An engaging listen about the author’s life. Majority is centered around drug use and her time in prison. Very raw and real and informative. You can feel what it may have been like to be her.
Recommended For: Those who like memoirs.

[Sylvia Jacobs · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Hummingbird Kiss: My Life as an Addict in the 1970s
By Trish MacEnulty
Memoir

Book Review by Sylvia Jacobs

This book is a memoir about the author who had a drug addiction. She is married and her husband has the same addiction as well. The couple lived with the author's mom in an apartment.She was 18 at that time and the time was the 1970s. Trish was a newlywed at that time. Her husband gets convicted and will have to be in jail for ten years. “He stole stereos and skipped out on a court ordered drug program”.
She wanted to be like everyone else but she had this addiction so what would she do? She wanted to be loved by someone.
She unfortunately picked up the drug habit with her husband.
What would happen now as he is gone? Would she continue her drug addiction or seek help? Would she go to jail for something she did? Will she see the light and will her life finally begin at 25 years old after all that has happened?

The positive in this book was reading about the author's brother and how he helped her at that young age. The biggest positive is the outcome of the book. “Wipe out the past and start fresh and innocent”. “Be warm, be friendly, have a good attitude about life and about yourself”. I loved these sayings that are toward the end of the book. The last chapter of the book was excellent and makes you very proud of the author. This chapter is meant to help others, bravo to her for writing it.

The negative aspect of this book is that it described the way the drugs were used. It was hard to read the details of the addiction. It was saddening to read that she had a father and a stepfather who had addictions as well. It was saddening to read that people were dying around her and that she was always getting into trouble, in my opinion.

[Kimberlyisaddicted2books · Rating 5 out of 5]

💖💖💖💖💖/5

I couldn't put this book down, I had to keep going and then I wanted more. Luckily for me, there is a second memoir written by this author that picks up where this one leaves off.

Trish is an all American girl becoming a woman in the 1970s. She was 16 when she first used and she continued to use with her boyfriend turned husband until he was sentenced to ten years in prison for burglary (three months into her marriage) This is the moment she realizes that she is having withdrawal symptoms for the first time in her life. This is also the day she realizes she can take care of herself and her own addiction.

The armor and shield, the feeling of home, when one first gets high is so powerful, and I relate to it very much. For many years I fooled myself into thinking that drugs were my safe place- until they stopped working.

Trish goes on a journey inwardly and outwardly and learns life's hard lessons in her active addiction. She is brave, courageous, funny and full of heart. All her articulations of halfway house life prove to be accurate in my own experience in West Virginia. You are definitely not there to make friends. And you definitely can't get clean when you aren't ready yourself. She sleeps with a counselor at the halfway house and next thing you know she's back where she began, miserable and trying to get away from the fired counselor. She has to go back to the halfway house after a bender and they treat her (as they do with most addicts) as less than human.

Throughout her life she smuggles heroin over the border, a get away driver and plans pharmacy burglaries. She meets many people on this journey l, realizes she knows more and more that have passed away due to their drug use. She goes to prison and has epiphanies while behind bars. She gets clean and gets work release. She uses one more time and it's a doozy, an eye opener and remains clean after she is released back into society.

Seeing the worst in humanity proves fruitful because you are then able to see the best.

Trish is the best. She pours her heart and bleeds on these pages with only one agenda- to help anyone else who has been through this.

[R.W. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Usually I read slow, but the masterful and oftentimes raw writing of The Hummingbird Kiss kept me up past my bedtime, needing to know what trouble 18 year-old Trish MacEnulty would next run to. This is an astonishingly uncompromising memoir of a young woman’s addiction to drugs, be it cocaine, dilaudid or heroin. Nothing seems to sway Trish from her downward spiral, neither her husband’s 10-year prison sentence, nor the overdose deaths of her one time boyfriend and best girlfriend, nor the murder of her lover/drug supplier in Miami. Not even Trish going to prison herself for robbing drugstores. So sweet is the rush of the hypodermic needle, the hummingbird’s kiss, that by the time she turns twenty-five, it remains her sole purpose in life. Trish is steadfastly honest when pondering her addiction, the blame goes to no one but herself. There is something inside her she calls a “screaming despair” that needs to be subdued by any means possible, mostly drugs. How then to stop? The several drug rehabilitation programs she enters have no effect. In the end who prevails are her ever-caring brothers and a mother blessed with unconditional love. Theirs are the hands that always reach out, ready to help pull her back from the hellish life of drugs. Then, almost miraculously, Trish’s resilience comes to the fore. A turned-around life which leads her to learning and writing. Trish develops what I would call focus, meeting her depressive state head on, day by day, to eventually become a university professor. I believe this is a memoir especially helpful for addicts and their families. The descriptions of the addict’s grim life, really like a mouse in a cage, spinning on a wheel that goes nowhere, can be a wake up call. And The Hummingbird Kiss shows that there is a way out, toward love and self-fulfillment. Hats off to Trish’s mother.

[Tonya Hunter · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Hummingbird Kiss: My Life as an Addict in the 1970s’ written by Trish MacEnulty, is a memoir about addiction, sorrow and overcoming the odds.

MacEnulty tells her powerful story over the years as she rides the extreme highs and lows of the “hummingbird kiss” (the needle of heroin being administered). Her story begins in the 1970’s as an 18 year old – married and quickly becoming addicted and seeking out a fix as she comes down off of the highs. She is married a matter of days before her husband is sentenced to a 10 year sentence for stealing stereos and she crashes back at her mothers then travels across the country in search of the highs she has on heroin. While the timeline and locations were confusing to follow, she explains her paths across the United States from California to Florida and Mexico over the course of a few years that lead her to become addicted to heroin and the continual search for the high. Following a stint in prison, herself, and another run in with her addiction, she is able to find the girl she was before the addiction hijacked her life.

MacEnulty provides a very raw and descriptive narrative of her life and what it is like to live through the addiction and the attempts to overcome the addiction. Her story is one of strength and determination – as she challenges her addiction. This is a story that provides hope to others who either themselves are suffering with a drug addiction or for someone who loves someone who is going through such an addiction.

Thank you #NetGalley and #BooksGoSocialAudio for the opportunity to listen to this early audio version in exchange for a review. All opinions and thoughts are those of my own.

[Brenda Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’ve ever seen an episode of Intervention, or even more painfully, experienced addiction yourself or with a loved one, the first questions are often why or how? Trish MacEnulty was an extremely bright eighteen year old, smart enough to avoid the path her life took. But any one can fall victim to their circumstances and despair. And she was not immune to self destruction.

She takes us on a painful but beautifully honest journey as she battles her addiction, mostly to heroin, for almost ten years. Exploring her relationships and how they shaped many of her decisions, and through her repeated attempts at rehabilitation, we see a young woman trying to escape the trap she’s found herself in. While she describes some of the effects of drugs, her highs, poetically at times, her life and the ravages of drug abuse are anything but. The losses she experiences, of her friends and herself, are haunting.

While Trish struggled with her addiction throughout the 1970s, and a lot has changed since then in regards to treatment, much of her experiences are still echoed to this day. My heart broke every time she fell back into old habits. But her raw and courageous story, unlike many, does prove her strength and determination got her through to the other side.

Thank you Henry Roi PR and Black Coffee Book Tours for the copy.

[Jo Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jesus but Trish MacEnulty has been to hell and back with her addiction which she has written about so beautifully here in The Hummingbird Kiss (I had no idea what the title meant, did you?)

Trish is heavily addicted and dope sick when we first meet her sending her husband off to jail in the courthouse. We follow her through her highs and lows of addiction, withdrawal the hustles the robberies a prison sentence, friends lost and multiple rehab stints and her desperate attempts at taking anything that’ll help her escape herself. I was fully immersed in the depths of despair as I listened to her words, listened to the loss of herself and willing her on all the way. It’s such a joy to know that Trish broke free that addiction finally at the age of 25 life really begun for her. She went on to become a professor and author and I’m really keen to read more from her. The narration fitted and complimented the writing beautifully. An easy 5 star 🌟 for a stunning memoir.

Thank you to NetGalley and BooksGoSocial Audio for the opportunity to listen to this Audiobook in return for an honest review.

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I always like to read memoirs of people who have been through things that I cannot comprehend nor understand. Trish vividly portrays her life as an addict in the 1970's as a young adult. Trish depicts scary scenarios, and the things that she and her "friends" did to score drugs. But you can tell in reading this book that Trish is smart, insightful, and just needs a "leg up" to get out of her circle of destruction. Every minute detail of Trish's harrowing descent into complete oblivion and almost death is described. Not until Trish winds up in prison is she able to turn her life around, and her journey is quite inspiring. Today she is a completely different person and even a college professor.

I thank Trish for sharing her story with us with such candor and eloquence. I would imagine this would be a rare feat, as most addicts such as Trish was in the 1970s would not be willing, nor able to share their story.

I listened to the audiobook and the narrator did a very good job.

Special thank you to the author, Netgalley, and the publisher for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Celeste Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Raw and Honest

I didn’t realize just how honest the author was going to be in her memoir but I truly appreciate her bravery. She has overcome more in one lifetime than many of us could ever think about.

This was a raw and emotional journey of addiction. It’s a dark life full of tragedy that seemed to follow Trish wherever she went. It was a life that was not only dependent on drugs but also on enablers.

At times I feared for her life. At other times I wanted to shake her and say, “No! Stop it”. The author made sure that we understand the consequences of addiction. Some of it is shocking and hard to read but her will to survive was never lost.

I’m so relieved that the author made it out and I hope that her story helps others to see their potential outside of addiction.

Theme: To me the entire book is a warning to anyone in the throws of addiction. It’s also a story of hope that recovery is possible.

So, I will say the theme is hope. Although it may only become apparent towards to the end of the book when Trish is forced to face her demons.

[Jessie · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 NetGalley Audio ARC

This memoir speaks very frankly of the life of an addict in the 70's. When she is 18, Trish marries a heroin addict and eventually becomes one herself. When her husband receives a 10 year jail sentence Trish leaves home. She crisscrosses the country with other addicts. She is sent to drug treatment multiple times but doesn't successfully kick the addiction for 10 years.

The author describes her addiction years in a very matter of fact way. In one word: chaotic. I found the end of the book the most interesting. Trish is in prison and finally starts to deal with her trauma. Apparently she has written another book about her years after prison and I will definitely check that out.

[Peter · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up this auto-biography as an audio book. For all I realise Trish (now) is a very talented author, 1970 Trish, as clever and sharp witted as she was, made some very questionable life choices. This is not my usual genre, but I’ve read and enjoyed some of Trish’s fiction novels and wanted to find out more about her as a person beyond just being an author’s name. I think in this book she has given us a glimpse of the escapism, and crutch, that drugs brought her during her late teen years. I’m glad she made it through, many don’t. The narrator of this audio version is superb. Thank you to BooksGoSocial Audio and NetGalley for the audio ARC. The views expressed are all mine, freely given.

[Sonja · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and BooksGoSocial Audio for the audiobook version of this book. I am not affilated in any way with the author- publisher- or any entities associated with this book. I am not compensated in any way for my review. Everything I write is of my own personal thoughts- feelings- and opinions.

It is my understanding that this book was first published on July 4th, 2021. Its also my understanding that the audiobook version was released November 12th, 2023.
I really enjoyed this book. Trish does an amazing job of walking the reader through her life and how she became addicted to drugs. Trish is brutally honest of her story of being a junkie. This is a great success on Trish going from a raging drug addicted young woman to cleaning her life up and getting sober.

[Carola Schmidt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I decided to take a look at this book and couldn't stop reading for the next 40 minutes, even though I was so busy at that moment. Super interesting book. In "The Hummingbird Kiss," Trish MacEnulty delivers an unflinching exploration of addiction's grasp on youth during the tumultuous 1970s. Through the eyes of an 18-year-old newlywed named Trish, readers navigate the precipitous journey of heroin dependency, marked by the desperation of scoring the next fix. MacEnulty's narrative is a masterful depiction of the era, blending historical context with personal struggles. The novel serves not only as a cautionary tale but as a poignant commentary on the socio-political landscapes that shape individual destinies. It is a study for those interested in the interplay between personal agency and societal forces. There is a well-produced audiobook version as well. Either as an ebook, audiobook, or paperback, I highly recommend it.

[Marianne Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

With exquisite sensitivity, McEnulty's narrative explores the nuances of love, loss, and healing, all symbolized through the delicate metaphor of a hummingbird. The prose is almost ethereal, effortlessly drawing the reader into the lives of its characters and the complexities of their emotions.

McEnulty showcases a profound understanding of the intricacies of relationships. The journey through the pages of "The Hummingbird Kiss" is one of introspection and discovery, as readers are invited to explore the depths of their own experiences alongside the characters.

For anyone seeking a story that celebrates the small moments, the quiet strengths, and the transformative power of love, "The Hummingbird Kiss" is a must read.

[Olivia Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book about heroin addiction isn't something most people would pick up with any kind of excitement. If you have any friends that are addicts, you know it's not a pretty site. Or story. Also, don't let those friends read this. Could trigger them something awful.

This one is set in the 1970s, mostly, and if feels like a trip back decades ago, young real life character caught up in fun that gets dark quickly. The way the story is told is SUPERB. Gotta give it to her. Small time crimes to pay for a habit is a desperate way to live, and that feeling was transferred from the pages to my chest.

Well done. Very bold and courageous to put all this out there, and my hat's off to Miss MacEnulty.

[Miranda YEUNG · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Hummingbird Kiss: My Life as a Junkie in the 1970s by Trish MacEnulty

An inspirational, positive and fantastically written story.

Back to 70s, when Trish was 18, she was addictive to drug. She shared how her life had been changing upside down. How honest she was to her life. How positive was she now to throwback to her past.

The journey she came through was everyone’s must read. Not only to remind ourselves, but to embrace the fault that others had made.

Many thanks to NetGalley, BooksGoSocial Audio and the author for my copy.

Pub date: Nov 13, 2023

[J Kromrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for this eARC.

An amazingly powerful true story about someone riding the extreme highs (and navigating the devastating lows) of heroin addiction.

A fascinating account of a young woman who repeatedly chose the oblivion of drugs rather than feeling her own pain.

Luckily, for her readers, this same strong woman ultimately choose life, and eventually succeeded in prying loose the deep-seated claws of addiction which seemed almost rooted in her very soul.

[Jesse · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley and BooksGoSpcial Audio for the opportunity to review this audiobook ARC!

The Hummingbird Kiss is a raw and sometimes brutal memoir, but also very human and compelling. As a pharmacist, I see people working to overcome addiction on a regular basis. And I'm sure that I have patients that are in the midst of addiction as well. I think there is nothing more human than struggling to overcome something that you know you shouldn't want to do. This book increased my already firm belief that we all have the potential to make our lives better if we really want to.

[Crystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Hummingbird Kiss is a memoir by Trish, a drug addict. She speaks freely and openly about her history and roller-coaster beginning of adult life with drug use. She gets very descriptive and honest about the act of using drugs and the methods she used to be able to obtain them.

This was my first audio book, so I don't have anything to compare this to in the sense of audio books.

Thank you to Netgalley, Trish MacEnulty, and the publishers for this free audio book. This review is 100% my own and honest review.

[Kristy Kloster · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The Hummingbird Kiss," authored by Trish MacEnulty, emerges as a seminal work in the literature of addiction. MacEnulty, with surgical precision, lays bare the anatomy of addiction, set against the backdrop of the 1970s. The protagonist's descent into heroin's clutches is narrated with a brutal honesty that neither seeks sympathy nor indulges in despair. The narrative's strength lies in its ability to transcend the personal story, offering glimpses of hope in a landscape often deemed irredeemable. This novel about resilience is a notable addition to contemporary American literature.

[Julianna Mauga · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written

Fantastic book, well written, interesting story and so nice to hear a life turned around in such a positive way. There's nothing better than a successful story and this most definitely is one. I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in hearing what life is like from an addicts point of view, or if you're struggling with demons of your own. Two thumbs up!

[Coffee Book Couch by Ava · Rating 5 out of 5]

Guys, you have to read “The Hummingbird Kiss” by Trish MacEnulty! It’s so intense and powerful. The story takes you through the life of a young girl caught in the web of addiction during the ’70s, and it’s just heart-wrenching. But… there’s this thread of hope that keeps you hooked till the end. It’s not just about the struggle; it’s about the fight, the pain, and the glimmer of hope. Absolutely eye-opening and inspiring. Trust me; it’s a book you’ll want to read.