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Jeff Peters as a Personal Magnet
The swindler Jeff Peters is after his next victims in the small town Fisher Hill. He is left with only 5 dollars and instead of falling into despair, he finds a way to trick the whole town. Everything goes according to plan until mayor Banks finds out the truth. Jeff has to prove him wrong. What the swindler does not know is that one of his old acquaintances seems to have teamed up with the mayor. "Jeff Peters as a Personal Magnet" is a typical short story with a twist which will keep you on the edge of your seat till the last page. Will Jeff's true identity be revealed? Can he become the victim of his own evil plan or he will find a way out of this mess? -
- GenresShort Stories
Kindle Edition
Published August 26, 2020
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About the author
O. Henry
2,919 books1,891 followersSuch volumes as
Cabbages and Kings
(1904) and
The Four Million
(1906) collect short stories, noted for their often surprising endings, of American writer William Sydney Porter, who used the pen name O. Henry.
His biography shows where he found inspiration for his characters. His era produced their voices and his language.
Mother of three-year-old Porter died from tuberculosis. He left school at fifteen years of age and worked for five years in drugstore of his uncle and then for two years at a Texas sheep ranch.
In 1884, he went to Austin, where he worked in a real estate office and a church choir and spent four years as a draftsman in the general land office. His wife and firstborn died, but daughter Margaret survived him.
He failed to establish a small humorous weekly and afterward worked in poorly-run bank. When its accounts balanced not, people blamed and fired him.
In Houston, he worked for a few years until, ordered to stand trial for embezzlement, he fled to New Orleans and thence Honduras.
Two years later, he returned on account of illness of his wife. Apprehended, Porter served a few months more than three years in a penitentiary in Columbus, Ohio. During his incarceration, he composed ten short stories, including A Blackjack Bargainer , The Enchanted Kiss , and The Duplicity of Hargraves .
In 1899, McClure's published Whistling Dick's Christmas Story and Georgia's Ruling .
In Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, he sent manuscripts to New York editors. In the spring of 1902, Ainslee's Magazine offered him a regular income if he moved to New York.
In less than eight years, he became a bestselling author of collections of short stories. Cabbages and Kings came first in 1904 The Four Million, and The Trimmed Lamp and Heart of the West followed in 1907, and The Voice of the City in 1908, Roads of Destiny and Options in 1909, Strictly Business and Whirligigs in 1910 followed.
Posthumously published collections include The Gentle Grafter about the swindler, Jeff Peters; Rolling Stones , Waifs and Strays , and in 1936, unsigned stories, followed.
People rewarded other persons financially more. A Retrieved Reformation about the safe-cracker Jimmy Valentine got $250; six years later, $500 for dramatic rights, which gave over $100,000 royalties for playwright Paul Armstrong. Many stories have been made into films.
His biography shows where he found inspiration for his characters. His era produced their voices and his language.
Mother of three-year-old Porter died from tuberculosis. He left school at fifteen years of age and worked for five years in drugstore of his uncle and then for two years at a Texas sheep ranch.
In 1884, he went to Austin, where he worked in a real estate office and a church choir and spent four years as a draftsman in the general land office. His wife and firstborn died, but daughter Margaret survived him.
He failed to establish a small humorous weekly and afterward worked in poorly-run bank. When its accounts balanced not, people blamed and fired him.
In Houston, he worked for a few years until, ordered to stand trial for embezzlement, he fled to New Orleans and thence Honduras.
Two years later, he returned on account of illness of his wife. Apprehended, Porter served a few months more than three years in a penitentiary in Columbus, Ohio. During his incarceration, he composed ten short stories, including A Blackjack Bargainer , The Enchanted Kiss , and The Duplicity of Hargraves .
In 1899, McClure's published Whistling Dick's Christmas Story and Georgia's Ruling .
In Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, he sent manuscripts to New York editors. In the spring of 1902, Ainslee's Magazine offered him a regular income if he moved to New York.
In less than eight years, he became a bestselling author of collections of short stories. Cabbages and Kings came first in 1904 The Four Million, and The Trimmed Lamp and Heart of the West followed in 1907, and The Voice of the City in 1908, Roads of Destiny and Options in 1909, Strictly Business and Whirligigs in 1910 followed.
Posthumously published collections include The Gentle Grafter about the swindler, Jeff Peters; Rolling Stones , Waifs and Strays , and in 1936, unsigned stories, followed.
People rewarded other persons financially more. A Retrieved Reformation about the safe-cracker Jimmy Valentine got $250; six years later, $500 for dramatic rights, which gave over $100,000 royalties for playwright Paul Armstrong. Many stories have been made into films.
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
December 24, 2025
O. Henry’s “Jeff Peters As A Personal Magnet” is another Jeff and Andy scamming short story that was a bit confusing at the end but it makes sense when all said and done.
Story in short- Jeff Peters finds obstacles in Fisher Hill trying to sell his medicine man goods but the mayor keeps scammers out of the town.
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2290
“I struck Fisher Hill, Arkansaw,” said he, “in a buckskin suit, moccasins, long hair and a thirty-carat
diamond ring that I got from an actor in Texarkana. I don’t know what he ever did with the pocket knife
I swapped him for it. “I was Dr. Waugh-hoo, the celebrated Indian medicine man. I carried only one best
bet just then, and that was Resurrection Bitters.
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2290
“Business hadn’t been good in the last town, so I only had five dollars. I went to the Fisher Hill druggist
and he credited me for half a gross of eight-ounce bottles and corks. I had the labels and ingredients in
my valise, left over from the last town. Life began to look rosy again after I got in my hotel room with
the water running from the tap, and the Resurrection Bitters lining up on the table by the dozen.
Page 2291
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2291
“Life began to look rosy again…” “Fake? No, sir. There was two dollars’ worth of fluid extract of
cinchona and a dime’s worth of aniline in that half-gross of bitters. I’ve gone through towns years
afterwards and had folks ask for ’em again. “I hired a wagon that night and commenced selling the
bitters on Main Street. Fisher Hill was a low, malarial town; and a compound hypothetical
pneumocardiac anti-scorbutic tonic was just what I diagnosed the crowd as needing. The
❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌ spoiler alert
When Jeff is told about the town’s stance on selling and the need for a license, he is told to see the mayor since the doctor is away. The mayor and his nephew fake the illness which causes Jefff Peters to give medical advice for a fee. Later Jeff is told that they did a bunko operation which showed that Jeff was guilty of taking $250 for his treatment which was a scam and the nephew is actually a detective who arrests Jeff but the detective is actually Andy who was supposedly working for the mayor but with Jeff all along. Andy releases Jeff and they are $250 richer.
Page 2292
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bitters started off like sweetbreads-on-toast at a vegetarian dinner. I had sold two dozen at fifty cents
apiece when I felt somebody pull my coat tail. I knew what that meant; so I climbed down and sneaked a
five dollar bill into the hand of a man with a German silver star on his lapel.
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2292
“I … commenced selling the bitters on Main Street.” “‘Constable,’ says I, ‘it’s a fine night.’
Page 2293
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2293
“‘Have you got a city license,’ he asks, ‘to sell this illegitimate essence of spooju that you flatter by the
name of medicine?’ “‘I have not,’ says I. ‘I didn’t know you had a city. If I can find it to-morrow I’ll take
one out if it’s necessary.’ “‘I’ll have to close you up till you do,’ says the constable. “I quit selling and went
back to the hotel. I was talking to the landlord about it. “‘Oh, you won’t stand no show in Fisher Hill,’
says he. ‘Dr. Hoskins,
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2293
the only doctor here, is a brother-in-law of the Mayor, and they won’t allow no fake doctor to practice in
town.’ “‘I don’t practice medicine,’ says I, ‘I’ve got a State peddler’s license, and I take out a city one
wherever they demand it.’ “I went to the Mayor’s office the next morning and they told me he hadn’t
showed up yet. They didn’t know when he’d be down.
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2293
“By and by a young man in a blue necktie slips into the chair next to me and asks the time. “‘Half-past
ten,’ says I, ‘and you are Andy Tucker. I’ve seen you work.
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2293
“Andy was pleased to hear that I remembered him. He was a good
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2293
street man; and he was more than that — he respected his profession, and he was satisfied with 300 per
cent. profit. He had plenty of offers to go into the illegitimate drug and garden seed business; but he was
never to be tempted off of the straight path. “I wanted a partner, so Andy and me agreed to go out
together. I told him about the situation in Fisher Hill and how finances was low on account of the local
mixture of politics and jalap. Andy had just got in on the train that morning. He was
2
Page 2294
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pretty low himself, and was going to canvass the whole town for a few dollars to build a new battleship
by popular subscription at Eureka Springs. So we went out and sat on the porch and talked it over. “The
next morning at eleven o’clock when I was sitting there alone, an Uncle Tom shuffles into the hotel and
asked for the doctor to come and see Judge Banks, who, it seems, was the mayor and a mighty sick man.
“‘I’m no doctor,’ says I. ‘Why don’t you go and get the doctor?’
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2294
“‘Boss,’ says he. ‘Doc Hoskins am done gone twenty miles in de country to see some sick persons. He’s de
only doctor in de town, and Massa Banks am powerful bad off. He sent me to ax you to please, suh,
come.’ “‘As man to man,’ says I, ‘I’ll go and look him over.’ So I put a bottle of Resurrection Bitters in my
pocket and goes up on the hill to the mayor’s mansion, the finest house in town, with a mansard roof
and two cast iron dogs on the lawn. “This Mayor Banks was in bed all but his whiskers and feet. He was
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2294
making internal noises that would have had everybody in San Francisco hiking for the parks. A young
man was standing by the bed holding a cup of water. “‘Doc,’ says the Mayor, ‘I’m awful sick. I’m about to
die. Can’t you do nothing for me?’ “‘Mr. Mayor,’ says I, ‘I’m not a regular preordained disciple of S. Q.
Lapius. I never took a course in a medical college,’ says I. ‘I’ve just come as a fellow man to see if I could
be off assistance.’
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2294
“‘I’m deeply obliged,’ says he. ‘Doc Waugh-hoo, this is my nephew, Mr. Biddle. He has tried to alleviate
my distress, but without success. Oh, Lordy! Ow-ow-ow!!’ he sings out. “I nods at Mr. Biddle and sets
down by the bed and feels the mayor’s pulse. ‘Let me see your liver — your tongue, I mean,’ says I. Then I
turns up the lids of his eyes and looks close that the pupils of ’em. “‘How long have you been sick?’ I
asked.
Page 2295
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“‘Mr. Mayor,’ says I, ‘there is only one hope for you. Drugs will do you no good. But there is another
power higher yet, although drugs are high enough,’ says I. “‘And what is that?’ says he. “‘Scientific
demonstrations,’ says I. ‘The triumph of mind over sarsaparilla. The belief that there is no pain and
sickness except what is produced when we ain’t feeling well. Declare yourself in arrears. Demonstrate.’
“‘What is this paraphernalia you speak of, Doc?’ says the Mayor. ‘You ain’t a Socialist, are you?’ “‘I am
speaking,’ says I, ‘of the great doctrine of psychic financiering — of the enlightened school of long-
distance, sub-conscientious treatment of fallacies and meningitis — of that wonderful in-door sport
known as personal magnetism.’ “‘Can you work it, doc?’ asks the Mayor.
3
Page 2296
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“‘Will you treat my case?’ asks the Mayor. “‘Listen,’ says I. ‘I’ve had a good deal of trouble with medical
societies everywhere I’ve been. I don’t practice medicine. But, to save your life, I’ll give you the psychic
treatment if you’ll agree as mayor not to push the license question.’ “‘Of course I will,’ says he. ‘And now
get to work, doc, for them pains are coming on again.’
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2296
“‘My fee will be $250.00, cure guaranteed in two treatments,’ says I. “‘All right,’ says the Mayor. ‘I’ll pay
it. I guess my life’s worth that much.’ “I sat down by the bed and looked him straight in the eye. “‘Now,’
says I, ‘get your mind off the disease. You ain’t sick. You haven’t got a heart or a clavicle or a funny bone
or brains or anything. You haven’t got any pain. Declare error. Now you feel the pain that you didn’t
have leaving, don’t you?’
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2296
“‘I do feel some little better, doc,’ says the Mayor, ‘darned if I don’t. Now state a few lies about my not
having this swelling in my left side, and I think I could be propped up and have some sausage and
buckwheat cakes.’ “I made a few passes with my hands. “‘Now,’ says I, ‘the inflammation’s gone. The
right lobe of the perihelion has subsided. You’re getting sleepy. You can’t hold your eyes open any
longer. For the present
Page 2297
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“The next morning I was back on time. ‘Well, Mr. Riddle,’ says I, when he opened the bedroom door, ‘and
how is uncle this morning?’ “‘He seems much better,’ says the young man. “The mayor’s color and pulse
was fine. I gave him another treatment, and he said the last of the pain left him. “‘Now,’ says I, ‘you’d
better stay in bed for a day or two, and you’ll be all right. It’s a good thing I happened to be in Fisher Hill,
Mr. Mayor,’ says I, ‘for all the remedies in the cornucopia that the regular schools of medicine use couldn’
t have saved you. And now that error has flew and pain proved a perjurer, let’s allude to a cheerfuller
subject — say the fee of $250. No checks, please, I hate to write my name on the back of a check almost
as bad as I do on the front.’ “‘I’ve got the cash here,’ says the mayor, pulling a pocket book from under his
pillow. “He counts out five fifty-dollar notes and holds ’em in his hand.
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2297
“‘Bring the receipt,’ he says to Biddle. “I signed the receipt and the mayor handed me the money. I put it
in my inside pocket careful. “‘Now do your duty, officer,’ says the mayor, grinning much unlike a sick
man. “Mr. Biddle lays his hand on my arm. “‘You’re under arrest, Dr. Waugh-hoo, alias Peters,’ says he,
‘for practising medicine without authority under the State law.’ “‘Who are you?’ I asks.
4
Page 2298
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“‘I’ll tell you who he is,’ says Mr. Mayor, sitting up in bed. ‘He’s a detective employed by the State Medical
Society. He’s been following you over five counties. He came to me yesterday and we fixed up this
scheme to catch you. I guess you won’t do any more doctoring around these parts, Mr. Fakir. What was
it you said I had, doc?’ the mayor laughs, ‘compound — well, it wasn’t softening of the brain, I guess,
anyway.’ “‘A detective,’ says I.
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2298
“‘Correct,’ says Biddle. ‘I’ll have to turn you over to the sheriff.’ “‘Let’s see you do it,’ says I, and I grabs
Biddle by the throat and half throws him out the window, but he pulls a gun and sticks it under my chin,
and I stand still. Then he puts handcuffs on me, and takes the money out of my pocket.
Page 2299
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“And I grabs Biddle by the throat.” “‘I witness,’ says he, ‘that they’re the same bank bills that you and I
marked, Judge Banks. I’ll turn them over to the sheriff when we get to his office, and he’ll send you a
receipt. They’ll have to be used as evidence in the case.’ “‘All right, Mr. Biddle,’ says the mayor. ‘And now,
Doc Waugh-hoo,’ he goes on, ‘why don’t you demonstrate? Can’t you pull the cork out of your
magnetism with your teeth and hocus-pocus them handcuffs off?’ “‘Come on, officer,’ says I, dignified. ‘I
may as well make the best of it.’ And then I turns to old Banks and rattles my chains. “‘Mr. Mayor,’ says I,
‘the time will come soon when you’ll believe that
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2299
personal magnetism is a success. And you’ll be sure that it succeeded in this case, too.’ “And I guess it
did. “When we got nearly to the gate, I says: ‘We might meet somebody now, Andy. I reckon you better
take ’em off, and—’ Hey? Why, of course it was Andy Tucker. That was his scheme; and that’s how we
got the capital to go into business together.”
Story in short- Jeff Peters finds obstacles in Fisher Hill trying to sell his medicine man goods but the mayor keeps scammers out of the town.
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2290
“I struck Fisher Hill, Arkansaw,” said he, “in a buckskin suit, moccasins, long hair and a thirty-carat
diamond ring that I got from an actor in Texarkana. I don’t know what he ever did with the pocket knife
I swapped him for it. “I was Dr. Waugh-hoo, the celebrated Indian medicine man. I carried only one best
bet just then, and that was Resurrection Bitters.
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2290
“Business hadn’t been good in the last town, so I only had five dollars. I went to the Fisher Hill druggist
and he credited me for half a gross of eight-ounce bottles and corks. I had the labels and ingredients in
my valise, left over from the last town. Life began to look rosy again after I got in my hotel room with
the water running from the tap, and the Resurrection Bitters lining up on the table by the dozen.
Page 2291
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2291
“Life began to look rosy again…” “Fake? No, sir. There was two dollars’ worth of fluid extract of
cinchona and a dime’s worth of aniline in that half-gross of bitters. I’ve gone through towns years
afterwards and had folks ask for ’em again. “I hired a wagon that night and commenced selling the
bitters on Main Street. Fisher Hill was a low, malarial town; and a compound hypothetical
pneumocardiac anti-scorbutic tonic was just what I diagnosed the crowd as needing. The
❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌ spoiler alert
When Jeff is told about the town’s stance on selling and the need for a license, he is told to see the mayor since the doctor is away. The mayor and his nephew fake the illness which causes Jefff Peters to give medical advice for a fee. Later Jeff is told that they did a bunko operation which showed that Jeff was guilty of taking $250 for his treatment which was a scam and the nephew is actually a detective who arrests Jeff but the detective is actually Andy who was supposedly working for the mayor but with Jeff all along. Andy releases Jeff and they are $250 richer.
Page 2292
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2292
bitters started off like sweetbreads-on-toast at a vegetarian dinner. I had sold two dozen at fifty cents
apiece when I felt somebody pull my coat tail. I knew what that meant; so I climbed down and sneaked a
five dollar bill into the hand of a man with a German silver star on his lapel.
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2292
“I … commenced selling the bitters on Main Street.” “‘Constable,’ says I, ‘it’s a fine night.’
Page 2293
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2293
“‘Have you got a city license,’ he asks, ‘to sell this illegitimate essence of spooju that you flatter by the
name of medicine?’ “‘I have not,’ says I. ‘I didn’t know you had a city. If I can find it to-morrow I’ll take
one out if it’s necessary.’ “‘I’ll have to close you up till you do,’ says the constable. “I quit selling and went
back to the hotel. I was talking to the landlord about it. “‘Oh, you won’t stand no show in Fisher Hill,’
says he. ‘Dr. Hoskins,
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2293
the only doctor here, is a brother-in-law of the Mayor, and they won’t allow no fake doctor to practice in
town.’ “‘I don’t practice medicine,’ says I, ‘I’ve got a State peddler’s license, and I take out a city one
wherever they demand it.’ “I went to the Mayor’s office the next morning and they told me he hadn’t
showed up yet. They didn’t know when he’d be down.
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2293
“By and by a young man in a blue necktie slips into the chair next to me and asks the time. “‘Half-past
ten,’ says I, ‘and you are Andy Tucker. I’ve seen you work.
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2293
“Andy was pleased to hear that I remembered him. He was a good
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2293
street man; and he was more than that — he respected his profession, and he was satisfied with 300 per
cent. profit. He had plenty of offers to go into the illegitimate drug and garden seed business; but he was
never to be tempted off of the straight path. “I wanted a partner, so Andy and me agreed to go out
together. I told him about the situation in Fisher Hill and how finances was low on account of the local
mixture of politics and jalap. Andy had just got in on the train that morning. He was
2
Page 2294
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2294
pretty low himself, and was going to canvass the whole town for a few dollars to build a new battleship
by popular subscription at Eureka Springs. So we went out and sat on the porch and talked it over. “The
next morning at eleven o’clock when I was sitting there alone, an Uncle Tom shuffles into the hotel and
asked for the doctor to come and see Judge Banks, who, it seems, was the mayor and a mighty sick man.
“‘I’m no doctor,’ says I. ‘Why don’t you go and get the doctor?’
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2294
“‘Boss,’ says he. ‘Doc Hoskins am done gone twenty miles in de country to see some sick persons. He’s de
only doctor in de town, and Massa Banks am powerful bad off. He sent me to ax you to please, suh,
come.’ “‘As man to man,’ says I, ‘I’ll go and look him over.’ So I put a bottle of Resurrection Bitters in my
pocket and goes up on the hill to the mayor’s mansion, the finest house in town, with a mansard roof
and two cast iron dogs on the lawn. “This Mayor Banks was in bed all but his whiskers and feet. He was
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2294
making internal noises that would have had everybody in San Francisco hiking for the parks. A young
man was standing by the bed holding a cup of water. “‘Doc,’ says the Mayor, ‘I’m awful sick. I’m about to
die. Can’t you do nothing for me?’ “‘Mr. Mayor,’ says I, ‘I’m not a regular preordained disciple of S. Q.
Lapius. I never took a course in a medical college,’ says I. ‘I’ve just come as a fellow man to see if I could
be off assistance.’
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2294
“‘I’m deeply obliged,’ says he. ‘Doc Waugh-hoo, this is my nephew, Mr. Biddle. He has tried to alleviate
my distress, but without success. Oh, Lordy! Ow-ow-ow!!’ he sings out. “I nods at Mr. Biddle and sets
down by the bed and feels the mayor’s pulse. ‘Let me see your liver — your tongue, I mean,’ says I. Then I
turns up the lids of his eyes and looks close that the pupils of ’em. “‘How long have you been sick?’ I
asked.
Page 2295
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2295
“‘Mr. Mayor,’ says I, ‘there is only one hope for you. Drugs will do you no good. But there is another
power higher yet, although drugs are high enough,’ says I. “‘And what is that?’ says he. “‘Scientific
demonstrations,’ says I. ‘The triumph of mind over sarsaparilla. The belief that there is no pain and
sickness except what is produced when we ain’t feeling well. Declare yourself in arrears. Demonstrate.’
“‘What is this paraphernalia you speak of, Doc?’ says the Mayor. ‘You ain’t a Socialist, are you?’ “‘I am
speaking,’ says I, ‘of the great doctrine of psychic financiering — of the enlightened school of long-
distance, sub-conscientious treatment of fallacies and meningitis — of that wonderful in-door sport
known as personal magnetism.’ “‘Can you work it, doc?’ asks the Mayor.
3
Page 2296
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2296
“‘Will you treat my case?’ asks the Mayor. “‘Listen,’ says I. ‘I’ve had a good deal of trouble with medical
societies everywhere I’ve been. I don’t practice medicine. But, to save your life, I’ll give you the psychic
treatment if you’ll agree as mayor not to push the license question.’ “‘Of course I will,’ says he. ‘And now
get to work, doc, for them pains are coming on again.’
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2296
“‘My fee will be $250.00, cure guaranteed in two treatments,’ says I. “‘All right,’ says the Mayor. ‘I’ll pay
it. I guess my life’s worth that much.’ “I sat down by the bed and looked him straight in the eye. “‘Now,’
says I, ‘get your mind off the disease. You ain’t sick. You haven’t got a heart or a clavicle or a funny bone
or brains or anything. You haven’t got any pain. Declare error. Now you feel the pain that you didn’t
have leaving, don’t you?’
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2296
“‘I do feel some little better, doc,’ says the Mayor, ‘darned if I don’t. Now state a few lies about my not
having this swelling in my left side, and I think I could be propped up and have some sausage and
buckwheat cakes.’ “I made a few passes with my hands. “‘Now,’ says I, ‘the inflammation’s gone. The
right lobe of the perihelion has subsided. You’re getting sleepy. You can’t hold your eyes open any
longer. For the present
Page 2297
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2297
“The next morning I was back on time. ‘Well, Mr. Riddle,’ says I, when he opened the bedroom door, ‘and
how is uncle this morning?’ “‘He seems much better,’ says the young man. “The mayor’s color and pulse
was fine. I gave him another treatment, and he said the last of the pain left him. “‘Now,’ says I, ‘you’d
better stay in bed for a day or two, and you’ll be all right. It’s a good thing I happened to be in Fisher Hill,
Mr. Mayor,’ says I, ‘for all the remedies in the cornucopia that the regular schools of medicine use couldn’
t have saved you. And now that error has flew and pain proved a perjurer, let’s allude to a cheerfuller
subject — say the fee of $250. No checks, please, I hate to write my name on the back of a check almost
as bad as I do on the front.’ “‘I’ve got the cash here,’ says the mayor, pulling a pocket book from under his
pillow. “He counts out five fifty-dollar notes and holds ’em in his hand.
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2297
“‘Bring the receipt,’ he says to Biddle. “I signed the receipt and the mayor handed me the money. I put it
in my inside pocket careful. “‘Now do your duty, officer,’ says the mayor, grinning much unlike a sick
man. “Mr. Biddle lays his hand on my arm. “‘You’re under arrest, Dr. Waugh-hoo, alias Peters,’ says he,
‘for practising medicine without authority under the State law.’ “‘Who are you?’ I asks.
4
Page 2298
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“‘I’ll tell you who he is,’ says Mr. Mayor, sitting up in bed. ‘He’s a detective employed by the State Medical
Society. He’s been following you over five counties. He came to me yesterday and we fixed up this
scheme to catch you. I guess you won’t do any more doctoring around these parts, Mr. Fakir. What was
it you said I had, doc?’ the mayor laughs, ‘compound — well, it wasn’t softening of the brain, I guess,
anyway.’ “‘A detective,’ says I.
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“‘Correct,’ says Biddle. ‘I’ll have to turn you over to the sheriff.’ “‘Let’s see you do it,’ says I, and I grabs
Biddle by the throat and half throws him out the window, but he pulls a gun and sticks it under my chin,
and I stand still. Then he puts handcuffs on me, and takes the money out of my pocket.
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“And I grabs Biddle by the throat.” “‘I witness,’ says he, ‘that they’re the same bank bills that you and I
marked, Judge Banks. I’ll turn them over to the sheriff when we get to his office, and he’ll send you a
receipt. They’ll have to be used as evidence in the case.’ “‘All right, Mr. Biddle,’ says the mayor. ‘And now,
Doc Waugh-hoo,’ he goes on, ‘why don’t you demonstrate? Can’t you pull the cork out of your
magnetism with your teeth and hocus-pocus them handcuffs off?’ “‘Come on, officer,’ says I, dignified. ‘I
may as well make the best of it.’ And then I turns to old Banks and rattles my chains. “‘Mr. Mayor,’ says I,
‘the time will come soon when you’ll believe that
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personal magnetism is a success. And you’ll be sure that it succeeded in this case, too.’ “And I guess it
did. “When we got nearly to the gate, I says: ‘We might meet somebody now, Andy. I reckon you better
take ’em off, and—’ Hey? Why, of course it was Andy Tucker. That was his scheme; and that’s how we
got the capital to go into business together.”
December 12, 2023
Entertaingin mystery listening
I listened to this as part of the Victorian Rogues Megapack. It was very entertaining with interesting characters and story licne.
I would recommend this novella to readers of mysteies. 2023
I listened to this as part of the Victorian Rogues Megapack. It was very entertaining with interesting characters and story licne.
I would recommend this novella to readers of mysteies. 2023
January 28, 2024
Really mixed feelings on this one. It's funny overall and the ending is fantastic, a bit of a double twist. But there are parts and terms in here that, shall we say, haven't aged well. Here, a snake oil salesman tries to stay one step ahead of the law.
April 11, 2018
It’s a darn good joke!
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews