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Birth Your Way
A compassionate, comprehensive, and sensitive guide for any woman who wants to make informed choices about pregnancy, birth, and motherhood explores the alternatives to managed hospital birth, including midwife delivery, birth centers, and other birth experiences. Original.
- GenresNonfictionParenting
208 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2002
3 people are currently reading
160 people want to read
About the author
Sheila Kitzinger
123 books32 followersSheila Kitzinger M.B.E, M.Litt is a social anthropologist of birth and author of 24 books published internationally, most on the emotional journey through this major life experience. At Oxford in the 50s she discovered that the social anthropology of that time was almost entirely about men. She decided she would do research to discover what was important in women's lives, and focused on pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding.
Her five children were all born at home. She lectures widely in different countries and has learned from mothers and midwives in the USA and Canada, the Caribbean, Eastern and Western Europe, Israel, Australia and New Zealand, Latin America, South Africa and Japan, and from women in prison and those who have had a traumatic birth experience.
Her five children were all born at home. She lectures widely in different countries and has learned from mothers and midwives in the USA and Canada, the Caribbean, Eastern and Western Europe, Israel, Australia and New Zealand, Latin America, South Africa and Japan, and from women in prison and those who have had a traumatic birth experience.
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
November 16, 2012
This book was very useful in that it was true to its subtitle: "Choosing Birth at Home or in a Birth Center." It had a lot of information about birth outside of the conventional hospital setting. So it wasn't only focused on natural childbirth but on the real differences you get between hospital and not in a hospital. The author is not a midwife, doula, or doctor; she is a social anthropologist who specializes in pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting (of babies and young children). She is an honorary professor at a British University teaching classes in the masters' midwifery program. I only learned after googling her that she is British, but I wondered, because throughout the book, while there were many American examples, there were a lot of British and European examples as well. I think it is helpful to get outside of one's own culture and view examples from other cultures, especially something universal like childbirth.
The way the book is organized was very different from other childbirthing books I have read. There are a lot of full color pages. (And a lot of pictures, but that is not uncommon.) All of the asterisks indicate endnotes and are not numbered in the actual text in order, but at the end of the book they are listed based on what page they were on, so if you want to find out where her information was from, you should look immediately to the reference section. Her book is also indexed, which is very helpful for finding exactly what you are interested in.
The author is a firm believer that any woman who is not high risk should have the opportunity to learn about out-of-hospital birth and decide whether that is the right decision for her rather than not educating herself about anything and just going along with the current medical model completely ignorant of other possibilities for delivery.
I think there definitely is a lot to be said for births outside of the hospital: caregivers who will offer ways to manage pain without immediately resorting to drugs, caregivers who will allow your body to set the pace of the birth rather than forcing your baby's time onto a managed timed schedule, caregivers who view childbirth as a natural part of a woman's life rather than the most dangerous thing she will ever do, etc. Again, she emphasizes that this is an option for low-risk mothers, and she does emphasize the importance of having a truly qualified midwife, doctor, or general practitioner on board with your decision. She did make at least one mention of an unassisted home birth, but had no judgement statement for or against it.
Many sections included a Q&A section that summarized the main points.
And here are the excerpts that I would like to remember.
"Whether birth is difficult or easy, painful or pain-free, long-drawn-out or brief, it need not be a medical event. It should never be conducted as if it were no more than a tooth extraction. For childbirth has much deeper significance than the removal of a baby like a decayed molar from a woman's body. The dawning of consciousness in a human being who is opening eyes for the first time on our world is packed with meaning for the mother and father, as it can be for everyone who shares in this greatest adventure of all.
At least, that is how many women see birth. Not all of us, of course. There are women who think too much fuss is made about the birth experience. They simply want it to be painless and over with as soon as possible so that they can get on with their lives. That is a valid point of view. Some women are happy to accept induction, an epidural, and a forceps delivery, or a planned cesarean section, and feel more secure knowing that childbirth is being managed by a top obstetrician with skills to augment or replace the natural process. I believe that women should be able to have what they choose in childbirth. It is our bodies to which this is happening, and other people should not make decisions for us or make us feel guilty because they would have chosen a different way."
"A good birth is not just a matter of safety, or of achieving the goal of a live and physically healthy mother and baby. We want birth to be as safe as we can make it, but should not take for granted that delivery in an operating room is necessarily the best way to achieve this. Childbirth has to do with emotions as well as with the sheer mechanics of descent, rotation, and delivery. It is bound to be so, because it is a major transition in the life of the mother, the father, and the whole family."
"Labor pain is different from the pain of injury. It is caused by muscles stretching, pressure against nerves, and your body opening. It is similar to menstrual pain, but much more intense. It comes in waves. This rhythm means that there is a rest period between each contraction. As your cervix dilates progressively these rest periods become very short. There is just sufficient time in which to breathe out, drop shoulders, relax, and center yourself, before the next wave rushes over you.
The meaning of birth pain is different from the pain of, say, toothache or earache, broken bones or colic. It is the pain of creative activity. In a labor that is going well each contraction starts gently, builds up in a grand crescendo to a peak, and then fades away. It is pain with a purpose—positive pain.
That is not to say that birth pain is easy to bear. For many women it is the hardest pain they have ever experienced. It has been rated among the most severe pain ever known. Yet it is profoundly affected by what is going on in your mind and the attitudes of whoever is helping you. . . .
It is difficult for someone who has had a distressing labor to understand how other women can enjoy giving birth. It seems to some women that when others talk about the joy of birth, and of triumphantly riding waves of contractions, they must be romanticizing or telling lies. A woman who, for example, relies on getting an epidural as soon as she turns up at the hospital, but is denied one because the anaesthetist is not available, or the midwife considers it too late in labor to give it, and that it would lead to an unnecessary surgical delivery, is likely to feel extreme and uncontrollable pain. She also feels anger that may be turned toward those who denied her the pain relief she wanted and on to other women who look back on their labors with satisfaction and delight. It is not hard to understand why this happens. This does not rule out the fact that it is possible to relish the birth experience, in the right environment, and with the right people in attendance."
"'You are high-risk because you are 31 . . . it is your first baby and you have an untried pelvis . . . you had a miscarriage last year . . . you are in a high-risk ethnic group . . . you are single . . . this is your fifth baby . . . your last labor was induced and you had a forceps delivery . . . you have had a previous cesarean section.'
At the first prenatal visit the doctor may refer to a 'risk score' to decide which category of care is appropriate for your pregnancy. . . . You may have little choice in this. You are labeled high or low risk either on the basis of a score like this, or simply because of the doctor's clinical hunches. . . .
Attaching labels to pregnant women is damaging. A woman assigned to a high-risk category will probably have interventions that make birth more complicated, and women who are aware that they are 'at risk' lose confidence and become anxious. If everyone around you expects things to go wrong, you begin to believe that they will—and they may well occur.
Often a woman is categorized as high- or low-risk without reference to her everyday life. Such things as inadequate housing, poor conditions in the workplace, little money for food, a violent partner, social isolation, unemployment, or family problems are social conditions which are at the roots of perinatal mortality (baby deaths) and morbidity (illness)."
"All of us who approach childbirth with no idea of what happens, except what can be gained from books and films, are deprived. Girls growing up without any awareness of what it feels like to give birth, other than the fear of pain and injury, are especially deprived. In medicalizing childbirth and removing it from the home, our culture has made birth, like dying, a fearful ordeal that can be dealt with only by experts, that is no longer part of our shared lives, and is out of women's control. In bringing birth back into a setting that is controlled by women, making it a family occasion, and involving the other children in the family, we reclaim it, and prepare children to reclaim it for themselves.
Women are often adamant that they would not want their older children present because it would be distracting and they would get in the way. they would have to be mothering when they wanted to concentrate on themselves. This is one effect of the isolation of women from each other. There is often no one else who understands what a small child wants or who can comfort him."
The way the book is organized was very different from other childbirthing books I have read. There are a lot of full color pages. (And a lot of pictures, but that is not uncommon.) All of the asterisks indicate endnotes and are not numbered in the actual text in order, but at the end of the book they are listed based on what page they were on, so if you want to find out where her information was from, you should look immediately to the reference section. Her book is also indexed, which is very helpful for finding exactly what you are interested in.
The author is a firm believer that any woman who is not high risk should have the opportunity to learn about out-of-hospital birth and decide whether that is the right decision for her rather than not educating herself about anything and just going along with the current medical model completely ignorant of other possibilities for delivery.
I think there definitely is a lot to be said for births outside of the hospital: caregivers who will offer ways to manage pain without immediately resorting to drugs, caregivers who will allow your body to set the pace of the birth rather than forcing your baby's time onto a managed timed schedule, caregivers who view childbirth as a natural part of a woman's life rather than the most dangerous thing she will ever do, etc. Again, she emphasizes that this is an option for low-risk mothers, and she does emphasize the importance of having a truly qualified midwife, doctor, or general practitioner on board with your decision. She did make at least one mention of an unassisted home birth, but had no judgement statement for or against it.
Many sections included a Q&A section that summarized the main points.
And here are the excerpts that I would like to remember.
"Whether birth is difficult or easy, painful or pain-free, long-drawn-out or brief, it need not be a medical event. It should never be conducted as if it were no more than a tooth extraction. For childbirth has much deeper significance than the removal of a baby like a decayed molar from a woman's body. The dawning of consciousness in a human being who is opening eyes for the first time on our world is packed with meaning for the mother and father, as it can be for everyone who shares in this greatest adventure of all.
At least, that is how many women see birth. Not all of us, of course. There are women who think too much fuss is made about the birth experience. They simply want it to be painless and over with as soon as possible so that they can get on with their lives. That is a valid point of view. Some women are happy to accept induction, an epidural, and a forceps delivery, or a planned cesarean section, and feel more secure knowing that childbirth is being managed by a top obstetrician with skills to augment or replace the natural process. I believe that women should be able to have what they choose in childbirth. It is our bodies to which this is happening, and other people should not make decisions for us or make us feel guilty because they would have chosen a different way."
"A good birth is not just a matter of safety, or of achieving the goal of a live and physically healthy mother and baby. We want birth to be as safe as we can make it, but should not take for granted that delivery in an operating room is necessarily the best way to achieve this. Childbirth has to do with emotions as well as with the sheer mechanics of descent, rotation, and delivery. It is bound to be so, because it is a major transition in the life of the mother, the father, and the whole family."
"Labor pain is different from the pain of injury. It is caused by muscles stretching, pressure against nerves, and your body opening. It is similar to menstrual pain, but much more intense. It comes in waves. This rhythm means that there is a rest period between each contraction. As your cervix dilates progressively these rest periods become very short. There is just sufficient time in which to breathe out, drop shoulders, relax, and center yourself, before the next wave rushes over you.
The meaning of birth pain is different from the pain of, say, toothache or earache, broken bones or colic. It is the pain of creative activity. In a labor that is going well each contraction starts gently, builds up in a grand crescendo to a peak, and then fades away. It is pain with a purpose—positive pain.
That is not to say that birth pain is easy to bear. For many women it is the hardest pain they have ever experienced. It has been rated among the most severe pain ever known. Yet it is profoundly affected by what is going on in your mind and the attitudes of whoever is helping you. . . .
It is difficult for someone who has had a distressing labor to understand how other women can enjoy giving birth. It seems to some women that when others talk about the joy of birth, and of triumphantly riding waves of contractions, they must be romanticizing or telling lies. A woman who, for example, relies on getting an epidural as soon as she turns up at the hospital, but is denied one because the anaesthetist is not available, or the midwife considers it too late in labor to give it, and that it would lead to an unnecessary surgical delivery, is likely to feel extreme and uncontrollable pain. She also feels anger that may be turned toward those who denied her the pain relief she wanted and on to other women who look back on their labors with satisfaction and delight. It is not hard to understand why this happens. This does not rule out the fact that it is possible to relish the birth experience, in the right environment, and with the right people in attendance."
"'You are high-risk because you are 31 . . . it is your first baby and you have an untried pelvis . . . you had a miscarriage last year . . . you are in a high-risk ethnic group . . . you are single . . . this is your fifth baby . . . your last labor was induced and you had a forceps delivery . . . you have had a previous cesarean section.'
At the first prenatal visit the doctor may refer to a 'risk score' to decide which category of care is appropriate for your pregnancy. . . . You may have little choice in this. You are labeled high or low risk either on the basis of a score like this, or simply because of the doctor's clinical hunches. . . .
Attaching labels to pregnant women is damaging. A woman assigned to a high-risk category will probably have interventions that make birth more complicated, and women who are aware that they are 'at risk' lose confidence and become anxious. If everyone around you expects things to go wrong, you begin to believe that they will—and they may well occur.
Often a woman is categorized as high- or low-risk without reference to her everyday life. Such things as inadequate housing, poor conditions in the workplace, little money for food, a violent partner, social isolation, unemployment, or family problems are social conditions which are at the roots of perinatal mortality (baby deaths) and morbidity (illness)."
"All of us who approach childbirth with no idea of what happens, except what can be gained from books and films, are deprived. Girls growing up without any awareness of what it feels like to give birth, other than the fear of pain and injury, are especially deprived. In medicalizing childbirth and removing it from the home, our culture has made birth, like dying, a fearful ordeal that can be dealt with only by experts, that is no longer part of our shared lives, and is out of women's control. In bringing birth back into a setting that is controlled by women, making it a family occasion, and involving the other children in the family, we reclaim it, and prepare children to reclaim it for themselves.
Women are often adamant that they would not want their older children present because it would be distracting and they would get in the way. they would have to be mothering when they wanted to concentrate on themselves. This is one effect of the isolation of women from each other. There is often no one else who understands what a small child wants or who can comfort him."
October 2, 2008
After reading this and watching "The Business of Being Born" I really wish I had the guts to have my baby at home this time around. Maybe next time....
June 15, 2023
Amazing book!
August 13, 2016
Birth Your Way is a valuable resource for anyone considering giving birth outside of a hospital. It provides good information while dispelling home birth myths, which allow the reader to decide whether or not home birth is for her.
Chapter 2 "What's Wrong with Hospitals?" details all the reason why giving birth in a hospital can be bad/dangerous, which are all the reason for choosing a home birth or birth in a birth center.
Chapter 3 describes the risks associated with home birth. It also discusses and debunks the myths.
Chapter 4 explains how to arrange an out of hospital birth either at home or at a birth center. It includes Q & A's.
Chapter 5 is about midwives, their role at births, and their skills and training.
Chapter 6 describes preparations emphasizing prenatal care, diet, and exercise.
Chapter 7 discusses the role of the birth partner. For more a more detailed birth partner guide, read The Birth Partner.
Chapter 8 talks about various support systems for the mother and her family.
Chapter 9 details complications and emergencies and describes how they will be handled either at home or with a hospital transfer.
Chapter 10 is about the Babymoon period following the birth and also includes information about breastfeeding.
The single most crucial piece of information that this books provides is that Pitocin can actually cause shoulder dystocia because it can cause the baby to descend too quicky, forcing the baby into a bad position and/or again tissues that have not had time to fully dialte, thin, and expand. This is something valuable for women planning hospital births to be aware of.
The majority of women of my acquaintance who have had babies within the past decade were induced because their doctors played "the big baby card" and had them terrified that their baby would be too big to deliver and would have shoulder dystocia or other complications if they attempted a delivery nearer to their assigned due date. None of them were told that being induced could actually cause a complication that they were seeking to avoid. Of course, one of the reasons to seek an out of hospital birth is the lack of informed consent and the fact that once the mother signs the blanket waiver upon admission, the medical staff are not required to divugle any risks that would cause her to be resistant to the form of treatment they deem "best."
Chapter 2 "What's Wrong with Hospitals?" details all the reason why giving birth in a hospital can be bad/dangerous, which are all the reason for choosing a home birth or birth in a birth center.
Chapter 3 describes the risks associated with home birth. It also discusses and debunks the myths.
Chapter 4 explains how to arrange an out of hospital birth either at home or at a birth center. It includes Q & A's.
Chapter 5 is about midwives, their role at births, and their skills and training.
Chapter 6 describes preparations emphasizing prenatal care, diet, and exercise.
Chapter 7 discusses the role of the birth partner. For more a more detailed birth partner guide, read The Birth Partner.
Chapter 8 talks about various support systems for the mother and her family.
Chapter 9 details complications and emergencies and describes how they will be handled either at home or with a hospital transfer.
Chapter 10 is about the Babymoon period following the birth and also includes information about breastfeeding.
The single most crucial piece of information that this books provides is that Pitocin can actually cause shoulder dystocia because it can cause the baby to descend too quicky, forcing the baby into a bad position and/or again tissues that have not had time to fully dialte, thin, and expand. This is something valuable for women planning hospital births to be aware of.
The majority of women of my acquaintance who have had babies within the past decade were induced because their doctors played "the big baby card" and had them terrified that their baby would be too big to deliver and would have shoulder dystocia or other complications if they attempted a delivery nearer to their assigned due date. None of them were told that being induced could actually cause a complication that they were seeking to avoid. Of course, one of the reasons to seek an out of hospital birth is the lack of informed consent and the fact that once the mother signs the blanket waiver upon admission, the medical staff are not required to divugle any risks that would cause her to be resistant to the form of treatment they deem "best."
March 26, 2010
sheila kitzinger is so cool because in addition to being supremely pro-woman in her views on childbirth, she has anthropological expertise and enlightens us about practices of other eras and places; highly recommended for anyone interested in pregnancy or childbirth
April 13, 2008
I really enjoyed this book it had a lot to offer but a lot of it was stuff I already knew, so that was cool.
July 9, 2008
Very thorough with great info on natural and/or home birth.
January 25, 2009
Despite what the New Updated Title suggests, this is not about giving birth at Burger King.
May 1, 2010
Didn't really add anything new to my knowledge but was fun to read some more about home birthing.
January 20, 2011
Good basic info about home birth.
September 2, 2014
Great resource for every woman considering birth outside the hospital!
December 19, 2016
Bit out of date now?
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews