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Homosexuality: A New Christian Ethic
In the debate about homosexuality one thing that seems clear - on a issue renowned for lack of clarity and controversy - is that two fundamentally incompatible positions continue to held tenaciously. One asserts that homosexual acts are legitimate, the other that they are not. Concentration on the legitimacy of sexual expression rather than on underlying needs has made the debate about homosexuality incapable of resolution. Homosexuality : A New Christian Ethic presents a psychoanalytic interpretation that has shifted the focus of the debate from symptoms to root causes. The crux of Elizabeth Moberly's argument is that 'the homosexual condition involves legitimate developmental needs, the fulfilment of which has been blocked by an underlying ambivalence to members of the same sex'. But while the argument is certainly controversial, it involves a much-needed restatement of the traditional Christian distinction between the homosexual condition and its expression in homosexual activity. S X Formerly published as a title.
- GenresTheologyPsychology
64 pages, Paperback
First published April 1, 1997
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January 22, 2011
This importance of this book cannot be overestimated. In it Dr. Moberly reassesses the Christian response to homosexuality. By this, I don't mean that she tries to get around the obvious condemnation of homosexuality in Scripture, but rather that in focusing on the acts themselves we have utterly missed the point, and this actually hinders our treatment and approach to homosexuals seeking escape from their lifestyle.
She argues that Christians have commonly assumed that homosexuality comes to expression through deficient development in their relationships with the opposite sex. In other words, we think that homosexuality originates in disliking the opposite sex and that the solution is for homosexuals to develop strong relationships with members of the opposite sex, or get married.
By way of contrast, she proposes that homosexuality actually stems from developmental problems with a parental figure of the same sex. There is a deficiency in their relationship with their father, in the case of gay men, or their mother, in the case of lesbians. They did not get what they needed from this parent, and thus their ability to relate to their same sex is underdeveloped, and so they seek erotic and sexual encounters as a way of trying to resolve this psychological craving for affirmation and love from someone of the same sex.
In other words, homosexuality is not the problem. It is actually a confused expression of the solution. The homosexual's mind is trying to get closure on an unresolved tension with their parent-figure, because the deficit is in relating to members of the same sex. It is wrong, condemned in Scripture, and misguided, but it is actually an unconscious attempt to develop a loving relationship with someone of the same sex.
Thus, she says, the only treatment available to homosexuals is to develop proper friendships with members of the same sex, rather than erotic relationships with members of the opposite sex. Apparently this is where treatment problems occur, because it is assumed that the relational deficit lies with the opposite sex and not the same sex.
She also points out that because homosexual activity is the desperate response of a person who has become a psychological orphan, the Scriptural injunctions towards the fatherless actually apply to homosexuals. She writes
"The perfect will of God for human growth is checked whenever a child is orphaned. However, although being an orphan is in this sense 'against the will of God,' one does not therefore seek to punish an orphan for being an orphan. Rather, to seek the will of God in such a situation implies doing all that one can to make good whatever deficits are involved. By analogy, the homosexual condition, as involving deficits in the ability to relate to the parent of the same sex, is not culpable as such, but rather requires the resolution of the deficits in question. To thwart the resolution of these deficits and to hinder the fulfillment of unmet needs is comparable to oppressing the orphan, indeed is a form of such oppression."
She goes on: "Unmet needs are to be met - but without eroticisation. It is the sexual expression of pre-adult psychological needs that is unacceptable . . ." (pp 35-36).
Her solution? The Church must befriend the homosexual, and part of the mercy ministry of the church ought to include developing regular and close friendships with homosexuals. She does not get into this, but surely these friendships ought not to be merely with those similar in age to the homosexual, but to men or women in the church of older age through which the need for a father or mother figure can be even more easily filled. In this way they will attain resolution to the deficit of same sex relationships and the psychological tension will be resolved.
This was an astonishing little book, and one which every Christian layman, pastor, and counselor ought to read and put into effect. It was incredibly convicting. The fact that homosexuality has become part of the polarizing culture wars has driven all of them virtually from the churches who can actually help them, and forced them into "accepting" churches who are not interested in helping them overcome their psychological tensions. We of a conservative bent must do a better job of dealing with this issue, and treat gays not as monsters or evil people bent on the downfall of the west, but as injured orphans, many of whom do not know what it is they need. We must stop being weirded out by them, and show some compassion for once in our lives. Only then will there be true relief, both for us and for them. Do we really imagine that God will not judge us (and is not already judging us) for rejecting and persecuting the psychological orphan and fatherless?
She argues that Christians have commonly assumed that homosexuality comes to expression through deficient development in their relationships with the opposite sex. In other words, we think that homosexuality originates in disliking the opposite sex and that the solution is for homosexuals to develop strong relationships with members of the opposite sex, or get married.
By way of contrast, she proposes that homosexuality actually stems from developmental problems with a parental figure of the same sex. There is a deficiency in their relationship with their father, in the case of gay men, or their mother, in the case of lesbians. They did not get what they needed from this parent, and thus their ability to relate to their same sex is underdeveloped, and so they seek erotic and sexual encounters as a way of trying to resolve this psychological craving for affirmation and love from someone of the same sex.
In other words, homosexuality is not the problem. It is actually a confused expression of the solution. The homosexual's mind is trying to get closure on an unresolved tension with their parent-figure, because the deficit is in relating to members of the same sex. It is wrong, condemned in Scripture, and misguided, but it is actually an unconscious attempt to develop a loving relationship with someone of the same sex.
Thus, she says, the only treatment available to homosexuals is to develop proper friendships with members of the same sex, rather than erotic relationships with members of the opposite sex. Apparently this is where treatment problems occur, because it is assumed that the relational deficit lies with the opposite sex and not the same sex.
She also points out that because homosexual activity is the desperate response of a person who has become a psychological orphan, the Scriptural injunctions towards the fatherless actually apply to homosexuals. She writes
"The perfect will of God for human growth is checked whenever a child is orphaned. However, although being an orphan is in this sense 'against the will of God,' one does not therefore seek to punish an orphan for being an orphan. Rather, to seek the will of God in such a situation implies doing all that one can to make good whatever deficits are involved. By analogy, the homosexual condition, as involving deficits in the ability to relate to the parent of the same sex, is not culpable as such, but rather requires the resolution of the deficits in question. To thwart the resolution of these deficits and to hinder the fulfillment of unmet needs is comparable to oppressing the orphan, indeed is a form of such oppression."
She goes on: "Unmet needs are to be met - but without eroticisation. It is the sexual expression of pre-adult psychological needs that is unacceptable . . ." (pp 35-36).
Her solution? The Church must befriend the homosexual, and part of the mercy ministry of the church ought to include developing regular and close friendships with homosexuals. She does not get into this, but surely these friendships ought not to be merely with those similar in age to the homosexual, but to men or women in the church of older age through which the need for a father or mother figure can be even more easily filled. In this way they will attain resolution to the deficit of same sex relationships and the psychological tension will be resolved.
This was an astonishing little book, and one which every Christian layman, pastor, and counselor ought to read and put into effect. It was incredibly convicting. The fact that homosexuality has become part of the polarizing culture wars has driven all of them virtually from the churches who can actually help them, and forced them into "accepting" churches who are not interested in helping them overcome their psychological tensions. We of a conservative bent must do a better job of dealing with this issue, and treat gays not as monsters or evil people bent on the downfall of the west, but as injured orphans, many of whom do not know what it is they need. We must stop being weirded out by them, and show some compassion for once in our lives. Only then will there be true relief, both for us and for them. Do we really imagine that God will not judge us (and is not already judging us) for rejecting and persecuting the psychological orphan and fatherless?
May 15, 2024
A BRITISH PSYCHOLOGIST OFFERS IDEAS ABOUT THE ORIGIN OF HOMOSEXUALITY
Elizabeth Moberly is a British research psychologist and theologian. She wrote in the Preface to this 1983 book, “The present study attempts to correlate the insights of psychology and of theology, in order to suggest what healing can mean for the homosexual and how it may be achieved. It is based on eight years’ work in this area. My hope is that it will promote increased understanding and a wider and more compassionate involvement.”
She explains in the first chapter, “The following interpretation will be based on an independent evaluation of the traditional psychoanalytic position. It will take the view that a homosexual orientation does not depend on a genetic predisposition, hormonal imbalance, or abnormal learning processes, but on difficulties in the parent-child relationship, especially in the earlier years of life. At the same time it will reassess the conclusions traditionally drawn from the evidence of psychoanalysis.” (Pg. 2)
She states, “In all instances, the homosexual condition is one of same-sex ambivalence. At the same time, one may speak of a homosexual spectrum, in the sense that the deficit involved will vary in degree from person to person. In some instances both the defensive barrier and the corresponding unmet needs will be very marked. In other instances there will be lesser degrees of both these sides of the same-sex ambivalence.” (Pg. 12)
She continues, “The homosexual condition is one of same-sex ambivalence, not just same-sex love. The love-need cannot be isolated from the defensive process that has shaped it and caused it to persist unmet. Unfortunately, the negative side of the ambivalence has often bene ignored hitherto, or insufficiently taken into account.” (Pg. 17) Later, she adds, “marriage is a mistaken solution for homosexuality, since opposite-sex contact cannot remedy same-sex defects.” (Pg. 21)
She asserts, “Homosexuals relate to the same sex and the opposite sex as incomplete members of their own sex. The solution to this situation is for them to become complete members of their own sex. It is only thus that one becomes truly HETEROS, truly other (complementary) to the opposite sex.” (Pg. 23)
She observes, “Homosexuality is not ‘anti-family,’ but rather it is a paradoxical confirmation of the need for the family and of the importance of the child being able to receive parental care. In attempting to make good certain deficits in the parent-child relationship, homosexuality implicitly affirms the importance of the needs that it is trying to fulfill.” (Pg. 34)
She says, “We are not questioning the goodness of human sexuality, but simply stating that ‘homosexuality’---misleadingly so-called---is not essentially a sexual condition.” (Pg. 37)
She concludes, “Relational deficits imply the need for corrective interpersonal experience. Homosexuality is the kind of problem that needs to be solved through relationships. The solution to same-sex deficits is to be sought through the medium of one or more non-sexual relationships with members of the same sex (members of the same anatomic sex, in the case of transsexuals).” (Pg. 42)
This book may interest some persons seeking psychological commentaries on homosexuality.
Elizabeth Moberly is a British research psychologist and theologian. She wrote in the Preface to this 1983 book, “The present study attempts to correlate the insights of psychology and of theology, in order to suggest what healing can mean for the homosexual and how it may be achieved. It is based on eight years’ work in this area. My hope is that it will promote increased understanding and a wider and more compassionate involvement.”
She explains in the first chapter, “The following interpretation will be based on an independent evaluation of the traditional psychoanalytic position. It will take the view that a homosexual orientation does not depend on a genetic predisposition, hormonal imbalance, or abnormal learning processes, but on difficulties in the parent-child relationship, especially in the earlier years of life. At the same time it will reassess the conclusions traditionally drawn from the evidence of psychoanalysis.” (Pg. 2)
She states, “In all instances, the homosexual condition is one of same-sex ambivalence. At the same time, one may speak of a homosexual spectrum, in the sense that the deficit involved will vary in degree from person to person. In some instances both the defensive barrier and the corresponding unmet needs will be very marked. In other instances there will be lesser degrees of both these sides of the same-sex ambivalence.” (Pg. 12)
She continues, “The homosexual condition is one of same-sex ambivalence, not just same-sex love. The love-need cannot be isolated from the defensive process that has shaped it and caused it to persist unmet. Unfortunately, the negative side of the ambivalence has often bene ignored hitherto, or insufficiently taken into account.” (Pg. 17) Later, she adds, “marriage is a mistaken solution for homosexuality, since opposite-sex contact cannot remedy same-sex defects.” (Pg. 21)
She asserts, “Homosexuals relate to the same sex and the opposite sex as incomplete members of their own sex. The solution to this situation is for them to become complete members of their own sex. It is only thus that one becomes truly HETEROS, truly other (complementary) to the opposite sex.” (Pg. 23)
She observes, “Homosexuality is not ‘anti-family,’ but rather it is a paradoxical confirmation of the need for the family and of the importance of the child being able to receive parental care. In attempting to make good certain deficits in the parent-child relationship, homosexuality implicitly affirms the importance of the needs that it is trying to fulfill.” (Pg. 34)
She says, “We are not questioning the goodness of human sexuality, but simply stating that ‘homosexuality’---misleadingly so-called---is not essentially a sexual condition.” (Pg. 37)
She concludes, “Relational deficits imply the need for corrective interpersonal experience. Homosexuality is the kind of problem that needs to be solved through relationships. The solution to same-sex deficits is to be sought through the medium of one or more non-sexual relationships with members of the same sex (members of the same anatomic sex, in the case of transsexuals).” (Pg. 42)
This book may interest some persons seeking psychological commentaries on homosexuality.
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