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Полиамория. Свобода выбирать
Are we truly destined to live in one happy relationship, till death do us part? Many believe that somewhere out there is our one and only soulmate, and that our love cannot be given to more than one person at a time. This is what we have been taught, but is it true? The Freedom to Choose is a brave book that broaches questions every person, and certainly every couple, should ask themselves. Masha Halevi (PhD), a couples' mediator, counselor and an expert on alternative relationships has decided to take a different path. Following 15 monogamous years with her husband, she is still happily married but has another loving partner for the past 8 years. She has used her rich personal and professional experiences as a researcher and therapist to help countless couples considering unconventional ways of life with important questions relevant to anyone’s This book attempts to challenge these assumptions and aims to radically alter the way we think about relationships. Freedom begins with the freedom to choose.
- GenresRussiaNonfiction
400 pages, Hardcover
Published January 1, 2021
37 people are currently reading
72 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
January 20, 2021
The freedom to choose… for better or worse...
Are you in a relationship that is "open"? Have you considered whether this type of relationship would be helpful or hurtful to you as a couple? Has your partner suggested having one? It takes a special set of people and circumstances for these relationships to work. The definition of an open relationship is one where the participants are free to have emotional and/or physical relationships with other partners, often within mutually agreed limits. When the couple is married the relationship is called an open marriage.
The Freedom to Choose by Masha Halevi asks if a committed relationship has to contradict freedom, excitement and adventure. If a marriage has to end if you find yourself attracted to - or in love with - another person. If you are no longer attracted to your partner, or indeed if we are expected to be monogamous in the first place. The book ‘attempts to challenge these assumptions and aims to radically alter the way we think about relationships.’
While the book certainly attempts to challenge our assumptions, its aim to radically alter the way we think about relationships is a bit of a stretch. This is, and always will be, an exception rather than the rule.
There are obvious dangers in these relationships. Some of them involve physical and health dangers. Sexual relations with people outside of the committed relationship carry with them all of the same dangers of casual sex found anywhere. Additionally, a couple may suffer from jealousy and a breakdown of the bonds that brought them together in the first place. There is always the risk that a romantic and meaningful relationship may evolve which transplants one of the partners as the primary love interest in the relationship.
Overall, I found this book to be an interesting read, but my advice to couples considering such a relationship would be to proceed with caution, think twice and be prepared for the consequences. I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book.
Are you in a relationship that is "open"? Have you considered whether this type of relationship would be helpful or hurtful to you as a couple? Has your partner suggested having one? It takes a special set of people and circumstances for these relationships to work. The definition of an open relationship is one where the participants are free to have emotional and/or physical relationships with other partners, often within mutually agreed limits. When the couple is married the relationship is called an open marriage.
The Freedom to Choose by Masha Halevi asks if a committed relationship has to contradict freedom, excitement and adventure. If a marriage has to end if you find yourself attracted to - or in love with - another person. If you are no longer attracted to your partner, or indeed if we are expected to be monogamous in the first place. The book ‘attempts to challenge these assumptions and aims to radically alter the way we think about relationships.’
While the book certainly attempts to challenge our assumptions, its aim to radically alter the way we think about relationships is a bit of a stretch. This is, and always will be, an exception rather than the rule.
There are obvious dangers in these relationships. Some of them involve physical and health dangers. Sexual relations with people outside of the committed relationship carry with them all of the same dangers of casual sex found anywhere. Additionally, a couple may suffer from jealousy and a breakdown of the bonds that brought them together in the first place. There is always the risk that a romantic and meaningful relationship may evolve which transplants one of the partners as the primary love interest in the relationship.
Overall, I found this book to be an interesting read, but my advice to couples considering such a relationship would be to proceed with caution, think twice and be prepared for the consequences. I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book.
August 22, 2025
Книга, которая мне была предложена к прочтению в терапии, оказалась намного лучше, чем я могла себе представить. Она не о полиамории как таковой - она о свободе выбора. И это для меня, как я понимаю сейчас, основа любых отношений, будь они на 100% моногамными или нет, потому что построенные на ограничениях отношения приводят только к тому, что рано или поздно эти запреты будут нарушены. Эта книга - знак для меня, что этот свободный мир есть, эти люди есть, которые живут свободно внутри - и не боятся делится этим с окружающими.
April 22, 2021
Ok book
This is not a book that I would have picked out but it is in OK book.I'm gonna say is that
This is not a book that I would have picked out but it is in OK book.I'm gonna say is that
September 24, 2024
И ещё одна книга, которую я не дочитала. В целом интересно, но для меня слишком научпоп. Как мантра повторяется одна мысль: полиамория - ещё одна возможность.
Для русскоязычного сообщества может и надо повторять эту мысль до присвоения, но мне было немного ту мАч
Для русскоязычного сообщества может и надо повторять эту мысль до присвоения, но мне было немного ту мАч
December 23, 2025
Great depth of knowledge from the author with both study and personal experience brought into perspective. Id recommend it to anyone considering polyamory or anyone that is mongomous just to learn more about your relationships in general
January 23, 2021
Options in relationships
Russian born Israeli author Masha Halevi earned her PhD in geography from the Hebrew University; her thesis was based on research of Christian Catholic churches. She has experience as a pianist and violinist, as well as many other interesting adventures. Now she is a couple’s counselor and mediator and a popular advocate for changing public perception of romantic relationships and sexuality, instructing her clients in personal growth through relationships, both monogamous and non-monogamous.
It is refreshing to read Masha’s approach to relationship freedom: few authors have been as successful in surveying the options available in choosing the manner in which sexual and emotional freedom are considered as sensitively and completely as this book, THE FREEDOM TO CHOOSE, Masha’s debut publication. She speaks to the reader in an upfront non-judgmental manner that makes her hard -on wisdom available to all.
Monogamy vs. non-monogamy – a controversial concept to the public perhaps, but with Masha’s approach the expansion of ways to consider emotional and physical attachment become credible topics. As she states, ‘It is very easy for us, people living in non-monogamous relationships off all kinds, to conceal this fact about ourselves. Actually, we really have no need or obligation to come out of the closet. We live our lives like all normal people do. We don’t have to rock the boat and cause any trouble that could hurt only us. But if we want to introduce discourse, raise issues or problems, aspire to create a society in which our way of life is accepted as a legitimate and moral one, we have no choice but to come out, have the courage to identify ourselves and say: “This is who I am.” This is not an attempt to make non-monogamy the new mainstream, and it isn’t a manifesto against monogamy. It opens a door to other possibilities, which are not free of problems and difficulties….’
In this open and positive manner, Masha shares her own open relationship and the factors that lead to her decision. She even has a website about consensual non-monogamous relationships, doubtless a backup for her exposure to many avenues of thought about love and relationships. In a very well written manner she discusses the definition of monogamy and the history of why that form of relationship prevails, extramarital affairs, infidelity within open relationships, consensual non-monogamous relationships, social issues, an interesting discussion of Love and Limerence (‘falling in love’), and the many aspects of dealing with non-monogamous relationships – personal and societal.
Solid writing from a wise writer, this book should be required reading for Sociology students – and everyone challenged with decisions about relationships.
Russian born Israeli author Masha Halevi earned her PhD in geography from the Hebrew University; her thesis was based on research of Christian Catholic churches. She has experience as a pianist and violinist, as well as many other interesting adventures. Now she is a couple’s counselor and mediator and a popular advocate for changing public perception of romantic relationships and sexuality, instructing her clients in personal growth through relationships, both monogamous and non-monogamous.
It is refreshing to read Masha’s approach to relationship freedom: few authors have been as successful in surveying the options available in choosing the manner in which sexual and emotional freedom are considered as sensitively and completely as this book, THE FREEDOM TO CHOOSE, Masha’s debut publication. She speaks to the reader in an upfront non-judgmental manner that makes her hard -on wisdom available to all.
Monogamy vs. non-monogamy – a controversial concept to the public perhaps, but with Masha’s approach the expansion of ways to consider emotional and physical attachment become credible topics. As she states, ‘It is very easy for us, people living in non-monogamous relationships off all kinds, to conceal this fact about ourselves. Actually, we really have no need or obligation to come out of the closet. We live our lives like all normal people do. We don’t have to rock the boat and cause any trouble that could hurt only us. But if we want to introduce discourse, raise issues or problems, aspire to create a society in which our way of life is accepted as a legitimate and moral one, we have no choice but to come out, have the courage to identify ourselves and say: “This is who I am.” This is not an attempt to make non-monogamy the new mainstream, and it isn’t a manifesto against monogamy. It opens a door to other possibilities, which are not free of problems and difficulties….’
In this open and positive manner, Masha shares her own open relationship and the factors that lead to her decision. She even has a website about consensual non-monogamous relationships, doubtless a backup for her exposure to many avenues of thought about love and relationships. In a very well written manner she discusses the definition of monogamy and the history of why that form of relationship prevails, extramarital affairs, infidelity within open relationships, consensual non-monogamous relationships, social issues, an interesting discussion of Love and Limerence (‘falling in love’), and the many aspects of dealing with non-monogamous relationships – personal and societal.
Solid writing from a wise writer, this book should be required reading for Sociology students – and everyone challenged with decisions about relationships.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews