6 Steps to Total Self-Healing: The Inner Bonding Process

by Margaret Paul

"Inner Bonding is a cutting-edge process for self-love. It gets profound results, and it gets them quickly. Margaret is truly a master, and the Inner Bonding process creates miracles."-Marci Shimoff, #1 NY Times bestselling author, Happy for No Reason and Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul, and creator of Your Year of Miracles


POWERFUL 6 STEP PROGRAM FOR LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF!
This powerful life-changing Inner Bonding Process is the result of Dr. Margaret's more than fifty-three years of personal work with clients. Heal the cycle of shame and self-abandonment leading to anxiety, depression, addiction, aloneness and relationship failure. Discover how to love yourself and connect with your personal source of spiritual guidance. Learn how

- Rapidly heal false beliefs about yourself, others and higher spiritual guidance

- Heal guilt, shame, emptiness and aloneness

- Move beyond self-judgment into self-compassion

- Address the resistance that's keeping you stuck

- Heal relationship conflicts and attain the intimacy you've always wanted

Unless you were raised by people who were loving to themselves, each other and to you, you may not have learned how to manage your painful feelings and may be operating from your ego wounded self, controlled by your fears and false beliefs.

Self-abandonment perpetuates fears of rejection, abandonment, aloneness, engulfment or failure, and can also contribute to illness. Inner Bonding will help you love and value yourself.


Your wounded self may often take over in unloving ways, trampling on your hurts, ignoring them or avoiding them with various addictions and controlling behavior

- Addictions to drugs, food, nicotine, alcohol, relationships, work, TV or gaming

- Co-dependence--trying to control others with anger, violence, guilt or compliance--making others responsible for your sense of safety and worth

- Staying in your head rather than being present in your body

- Self-judgment, shaming yourself

- Obsessive thinking, ruminating, worrying

- Resistance to self, others, spirit--to taking loving care of yourself

Genres: Psychology

236 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 19, 2021

About the author

DR. MARGARET PAUL is a bestselling author, popular MindBodyGreen writer and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® self-healing process, and the related SelfQuest® self-healing online program - recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. She has appeared on numerous radio and television shows (including Oprah). Her book titles include Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved By You (and subsequent titles Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved By God, and ...By My Kids), Healing Your Aloneness and Inner Bonding, and the recently published, Diet For Divine Connection. Margaret holds a PhD in psychology, is a relationship expert, public speaker, consultant and artist. She has successfully worked with thousands and taught classes and seminars for over 50 years. Go to http://www.innerbonding.com/welcome for a free Inner Bonding course and join Dr. Margaret for her "Love Yourself" Course at http://www.innerbonding.com/show-page....

Margaret lives in Colorado. She has three children and three grandchildren. In her spare time, she loves to play with her grandchildren, paint, ride her horse, read, make pottery and kayak.

Reviews

[Spellbind Consensus]

6 Steps to Total Self-Healing presents a transformative emotional and spiritual practice known as the Inner Bonding Process, created by Dr. Margaret Paul. The method is designed to help individuals heal emotional pain, overcome self-abandonment, and develop a strong connection with their inner self and a higher source of wisdom.

Core Premise

Emotional suffering often stems from self-neglect and disconnection from one's true self. The Inner Bonding Process teaches people to re-parent themselves by developing a loving inner dialogue, resolving deep emotional wounds, and learning to make choices aligned with self-love and truth.

The 6 Steps of Inner Bonding

Be Willing to Feel Pain
Become mindful of your feelings — both physical and emotional — without judgment. Acknowledge them as signals rather than problems to fix or avoid.

Intention to Learn
Shift your internal focus from controlling or avoiding discomfort to being open and curious about what your feelings are trying to tell you.

Dialogue with Your Inner Child and Inner Critic
Connect with your inner child (your emotional self) and uncover the thoughts and beliefs — often from childhood — that are causing pain. Recognize the voice of the inner critic and challenge its assumptions.

Dialogue with a Higher Guidance
Ask for spiritual guidance (however you define it) to understand the truth about your false beliefs and learn what actions would be truly loving toward yourself.

Take Loving Action
Act on the guidance received. This could mean setting boundaries, speaking your truth, engaging in nurturing behaviors, or letting go of self-judgment.

Evaluate the Results
Reflect on how you feel after taking loving action. Peace, relief, or clarity often signal alignment with your true self.

Key Principles

Self-abandonment (through addiction, perfectionism, or self-criticism) is at the root of emotional pain.
True healing comes from cultivating inner safety and connection rather than seeking it externally.
Spirituality is central to the process — not in a religious sense, but as a source of deep inner wisdom and compassion.


Practical Applications

The process can be used for managing anxiety, healing trauma, improving relationships, and fostering self-worth.
It’s designed as a daily practice, helping individuals respond to challenges with compassion rather than reactivity.
While rooted in psychology, it integrates spiritual growth for holistic healing.


Core Takeaways

You are your own healer. By learning to listen to and love yourself, deep transformation is possible.
Healing requires self-awareness, emotional courage, and a commitment to ongoing inner dialogue.
Inner Bonding empowers you to live with integrity, peace, and emotional freedom.

[Swapnali · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend this book for those struggling with feelings of self abandonment. It really helps understand that voice in the head that sounds self sabotaging. In my case it also helped me understand that magical voice of reason and that source of support and advice that somehow comes through and I could never place it nor sometimes could I understand how much that had helped me survive some tragic events in my life. Sometimes, I feared I couldn't access that, and now I'm able to better understand what it is and how to access it consistently.
I especially love the audio book as it feels like being in a seminar.

[Lauryn Clemmer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I do love the idea of self healing and taking responsibility to heal yourself. I feel like this concept opens up the door for more self love. I did feel like there was a focus on anger, but I understand a lot of people have anger in their past that needs to be worked through.. I feel like mine would be more depression/anxiety and I didn’t quite feel like there was as much focus on that aspect of inner healing with this book. But I intend to go through the workbook from the website with more intention and I still think it will all be very helpful.

[LemontreeLime · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened to an audio of a seminar she gave on this. Wish the book itself had an audio.

[Joe Noto · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this at The Book Loft in Columbus, Ohio. I can't find it on Amazon, but I can find other books with similar titles by this author.

This book won't be for everyone. I've read a lot of self-help, mindfulness, and stress and anxiety management books and this is a bit different. There is some overlap, but the core of the book is new to me and totally actionable. I loved the sections that were written as a back-and forth between the author and a questioner. They demonstrated exactly how to execute the process to self-heal by inner bonding. I have learned new ideas from this book. My only gripe is the overall organization of the book. It could have been laid out in a way where it would be easier to refer back to certain sections. I used flags to help me go back to specific pages. There were also maybe 10 or 12 typos in it, which isn't a huge problem, but I did notice them. 4.3 out of 5.