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Operation: Thriving Marriage: a Field Manual for Maximum Performance and Preventative Maintenance
Wouldn't it be nice if marriage had a practical, user-friendly manual? Whether you are navigating difficult circumstances beyond your control, managing relationships with kids and in-laws, or balancing finances, work, and schedules, prioritizing your marriage can be tricky. But it is necessary! Bringing unique vantages of counseling individuals and couples in the church, the law, and the military, Bryon and Jennifer Harvey bring a wealth of experience and perspective to Operation: Thriving Marriage. Marriage isn't a lawsuit, so don't settle for merely surviving in your marriage. If you truly want the best that God has for you in your marriage, applying this book will stop problems before they start, help you to resolve issues together, and position you to grow into the couple that God designed you to be. With God's plan and help, together you can make your marriage thrive!
214 pages, Paperback
Published November 10, 2020
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July 1, 2021
Bringing the authors' combined military, legal, and pastoral experience with their personality made for an insightful and enjoyable read. There are relatable cultural references, with some footnotes making me laugh out loud, and you just get the feeling as a reader that you're sitting in their home having a chat after dinner (perhaps, with freshly baked chocolate chip cookies (book reference, but ooo did I want to make a batch after reading that haha)).
Not only did this break down certain concepts, like what is marriage and why marriage, but also addressed how marriage is refining (a process to make each one involved more like Christ). Perhaps this is the stage of life I'm in, but even though this was a marriage book, there were a few points that I was had a lightbulb moment with parenting. I also found it helpful that each chapter ended with action steps to further drive home a point or engage with the material.
The biggest lightbulb moment (or really like mind-blowing, forget the lightbulb) was the chapter on forgiveness. Because the authors differentiate between forgiveness and restoration - forgiveness, especially as Christians, is one thing, but that restoration of the relationship is totally different. That has to do with trust. I can FORGIVE, but might not TRUST, until certain actions or something is done to help restore the relationship, which is particularly the case for domestic violence/abuse scenarios, and how sometimes it is irreparable or unable to be restored and hence divorce (and/or other legal measures for safety and protection). This was really helpful for me to better understand the forgiveness (and restoration), particularly in the church and how it can (And does) get confused.
The other point that was also enlightening is conflict is good. Uhm what? My introverted self does NOT like conflict. BUT, what's bad, as the authors address, is NOT conflict, but UNaddressed conflict or mismanaged conflict. I could go on, but they did a great job with that - I will say that for my personal growth, it was reassuring to read and reinforce something that my husband and I have been working on (addressing conflict and conflicting matters) because it ties into communication and getting better at it (and listening! - there's a good word in there about this practice too).
HIGHLY recommend! (Also, as a side note, it's really fun to read books written by people my husband and I knew from our time in Michigan. It really did feel like we were sitting in their home discussing these matters after a meal, and maybe over a cookie haha).
Not only did this break down certain concepts, like what is marriage and why marriage, but also addressed how marriage is refining (a process to make each one involved more like Christ). Perhaps this is the stage of life I'm in, but even though this was a marriage book, there were a few points that I was had a lightbulb moment with parenting. I also found it helpful that each chapter ended with action steps to further drive home a point or engage with the material.
The biggest lightbulb moment (or really like mind-blowing, forget the lightbulb) was the chapter on forgiveness. Because the authors differentiate between forgiveness and restoration - forgiveness, especially as Christians, is one thing, but that restoration of the relationship is totally different. That has to do with trust. I can FORGIVE, but might not TRUST, until certain actions or something is done to help restore the relationship, which is particularly the case for domestic violence/abuse scenarios, and how sometimes it is irreparable or unable to be restored and hence divorce (and/or other legal measures for safety and protection). This was really helpful for me to better understand the forgiveness (and restoration), particularly in the church and how it can (And does) get confused.
The other point that was also enlightening is conflict is good. Uhm what? My introverted self does NOT like conflict. BUT, what's bad, as the authors address, is NOT conflict, but UNaddressed conflict or mismanaged conflict. I could go on, but they did a great job with that - I will say that for my personal growth, it was reassuring to read and reinforce something that my husband and I have been working on (addressing conflict and conflicting matters) because it ties into communication and getting better at it (and listening! - there's a good word in there about this practice too).
HIGHLY recommend! (Also, as a side note, it's really fun to read books written by people my husband and I knew from our time in Michigan. It really did feel like we were sitting in their home discussing these matters after a meal, and maybe over a cookie haha).
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