Every Good Boy Does Fine: Poetry and Prose

by Calvin Arsenia

“Glowing with warmth, vulnerability, and a heavy heart, Arsenia’s intimate reflections depict the past and present wrestling within the individual as he endeavors to chart his own course in the world.”—Atwood Magazine

Both a journey of individual healing and a call for action, these poems show that, with a little love and acceptance, anyone can flourish.

From one of Kansas City’s most exciting singers Calvin Arsenia, comes a debut book of poetry and prose Every Good Boy Does Fine . Named for the classic mnemonic used to teach the lines of the treble clef (EGBDF), his collection speaks to his passion as a musician and also his deep and tumultuous history in the Evangelical community.

Arsenia includes elements of queer poetry, writings on racial awakening, Christian de-conversion, and sexual awakenings in a homophobic community with the hopes that, when finished reading, readers will feel ready to start their own journey of self-expression through music and performance.

A profoundly thoughtful and enlightening work, Arsenia uses his lyrical talent to show that there is always somewhere to go no matter where you are coming from.

Genres: Poetry, LGBT, Audiobook

208 pages, Paperback

Published October 5, 2021

Reviews

[Emily B · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for my honest thoughts.

I listened to the audiobook and always appreciate when an author is a the narrator. In this case it made the poetry even more personal. This was a strong collection of contemporary poems with important and powerful topics such as racism and religion explored in a very vulnerable way.

[Natalie all_books_great_and_small · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received an advance reader copy of this book to read in exchange for an honest review via netgalley and the publishers.

***AUDIO BOOK VERSION***
Every Good Boy Does Fine is a lovely memoir told through poetry written and narrated by the author.
This book was based on the author's memories and experiences growing up in a Christian household as a young, black, gay man. I didn't realise this author was also a musician until I read this book as I'm not familiar with his music or poetry. I enjoyed this book and the authors voice was melodic and relaxing to listen to.
The book is very expressive and includes many aspects of growing up such as love, heartbreak,religion, adolescence, self-identity, friendship and much more.

[Via · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to Andrews McMeel and NetGalley for an arc in exchange for my honest thoughts.

I am not one to reach for poetry books regularly, but the classic and simple black/white cover of this work intrigued me. I wanted something short and quick to listen to and I did end up liking this book (I listened to the audiobook). This is a memoir of the author written in poetry form and describes his life as a gay black man and growing up in a Christian home. The title refers to the author's background as a musician, which I found interesting because I believe that poetry and music share many similar elements when it comes to the process of writing and expressing ideas through lines, rhymes, and storytelling. Arsenia himself narrates his work, and I really enjoyed the soft and smooth cadence of his voice. I also liked the background music accompanying the beautiful words.

I found the subjects of the book relatable, which include such topics as adolescence, love, heartbreak, religion, racial issues, and self-identity. The author digs deep into a number of sensitive issues through lyrical prose, but also covers lighter moments such as adolescent crushes, friendships, first loves, and self-acceptance. I personally really started to connect with the book around the half-way point, and around the last third of it is when the prose really shines with emotion. I liked the general structure of it, though I wish some of the other poems had been a little bit longer. Overall, it was raw, it was expressive, and it was brutal in its honesty.

[Kevin Norman · Rating 2 out of 5]

Vulnerable and raw, but nothing in this collection felt like poetry. It reads like drunken ramblings.

[Marie Bossio · Rating 4 out of 5]

The cover and title of this poetry book caught my attention, harkening me back to my years of studying music theory. The fact that it is a poetry book and the themes that are covered also intrigued me and I dove right in. I wasn't familiar with the author or his music, but this book made me a fan. The author's poetry is like hearing musical notes put to words, and hearing the author recite it as opposed to me reading it myself resonated so much more with me. His lyrical cadence captivated me and the musical background enriched the experience of listening to the stories of his life. The real and raw emotion in his words can be gut wrenching, blunt and intense, yet beautiful. This is a powerful collection of poetry that covers topics of family, race, religion, sexual identify and sexual awakening.

[Nina Richards · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a brilliant way to express a memoir. It was gut wrenching and eye opening. The poetry combined with the the author’s raw experiences create a just a flash of blunt insight into the world we create. The world we expect all humans to “fit” in. The author makes his space and owns it. Wow. Bravo.

[gee · Rating 4 out of 5]

This passionate poetry collection was deep and genuine. You can really tell that the author dived deep into their personal experiences to create art out of pain. The main character is a gay, trans, black man. As you can guess it was a wild & emotional ride.

content warnings for racism, abusive relationships, homophobia, transphobia, self-hate, mention of eating disorders,

[Brianna Kinley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a good read that shows major impacts on what our world has on certain groups, especially the LGBT.

[Laura U · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm disappointed that this book didn't have anything to do with music. However, the themes of race, childhood, homosexuality, and religion make up for a good book nonetheless. Here are some poems that I liked:

"Angry you kissed me in the aisle at your work
in front of an audience of clearance items
dangling on hooks.
  
You were the first person to kiss me in daylight.
That was your move.
  
Angry I made a shrine to that moment in my mind.
Angry I spent time worshipping at that shrine."

"Black is not the color of my skin.
It is the rubric by which you judge me,
the history you use to see me,
the music you think I know about,
the movies you think I’ve seen,
the foods you think I prefer,
the culture you think I represent,
my habits,
my fashion,
my accent—
please,
tell me more!
I insist—"

"no one is concerned
about my
aging face
but me"

[Margaret · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pros: I do not usually seek out poetry books, but the cover and title of this book caught my attention. As a former piano student, I immediately understood the title and was curious to read the book. I listened to the audio version of this book and loved that the author read it—it added so much to the autobiographical poetry. The music in the background added a meditative feeling to the reading. My favorite poems were about the author’s experiences with religion.

Cons: Although I enjoyed the listening experience, I wonder if I missed something by not seeing the words on the page.

Thank you to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Audio for the opportunity to listen to this book.

3.5 stars rounded up to 4

[Bea (beansbookshelves) · Rating 2 out of 5]

I received an advanced reader copy of this book to read in exchange for an honest review via netgalley.

This book talks about the journey of individual healing and it is a call for action. The poems show that, with love and acceptance, anyone can flourish. I enjoyed reading some of these poems but, overall, I didn't really like this book. It wasn't my cup of tea. It has a bit of harsh language and expressions, which I don't like. However, I did enjoy some of these poems — some of them were beautifully written.

[Habiba♡ · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm always a poetry junkie. I love how poets can combine a full length story or a incident or a chaos feeling just in few lines.

This book was no different. First thing that attracted me to read this book was it's title. EVERY GOOD BOY DOES FINE. How simple is that yet a has strong aurora that attracts everyone.

I loved how the poems were going in a charismatic way but 1/3 of them failed to impress. I couldn’t really felt related.

howbeit, It was a good read for me.

Thank you Netgalley for providing me an E-Arc in exchange of an honest review.

[Geoff · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was really interesting! Musical, witty poetry round family, racial reckoning, and sexual identity awakening with an undercurrent (and often just current) of anger and heartbreak. Makes me want to search out their music and see them live.

[james]

dnf

[Jen Hunt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. Calvin Arsenia's "Every Good Boy Does Fine" is a solid collection of poems. This poetic memoir takes the reader through Arsenia's childhood and struggles to reconcile his faith, his race, and his sexuality. The collection has five sections: Virgin, Dirt Lip, Him + him, Brownnoser, and Confectionately, as well as illustrations interspersed throughout.

I found myself being the most interested in his reflections on his relationship with God and how that intersects with his sexuality. One political group has all but erased homosexual Christians because how can one believe in God and be gay? I love the way Arsenia reclaims the space that everyone has in the kingdom. The section "Dirt Lip" includes excerpts from his teenage prayer journals, and they're filled with beautiful, hymn-like praises to God. Arsenia interjects his own misconceptions regarding LGBT+ folks throughout, including the poem "What is 'Gay Church'? there was a time in my life/when I thought/all gays hated Jesus." Lastly, in the final poem of the collection entitled "Higher Ground" he writes, "I read all of your words and I prayed and I fasted/You neglected to heal me of this fatal attraction/ I asked You over and over to make this queer straight/Your lack of action has sealed in this fate/You are the one who said, 'Truth will set free,' so this marks the end of me hating me." The poems could generate an important conversation about what Christianity is and who makes up the collective Church.

Finally, the poems on race (namely in Confectionately,) were especially hard-hitting. I thoroughly enjoyed "Command +Z," "F*ck February," "Color-splaining" and "Internal Conflict." Take for instance this brief excerpt from "Internal Conflict." "I am ashamed that the only black men this country honors are the ones who they kill." So incisive.

I wouldn't hesitate to recommend "Every Good Boy Does Fine." It's accessible for those who find poetry to be daunting or confusing, and it would surely create important and necessary discussions. Thank you to NetGalley for the advance copy.

[Becki · Rating 5 out of 5]

My very favorite thing about books is that they allow you to "read" another person's thoughts... ie, they give you true insight into the heart, mind and experience of someone who is very different from you. "Every Good Boy Does Fine" was a brilliant look through author Calvin Arsenia's eyes.

These poems are deeply personal- almost memoir-ish, but they don't tell a complete story. Instead they are vivid snapshots of moments in the life of a gay black man raised in a deeply religious home and church. The poems reveal Arsenia's journey from "pray away the gay" through "struggle" and finally to "peace". (Expect raw language.)

A few points...
The book is a quick read- some poems are just a few lines while others unfold over a few pages. There is an especially poignant section reproduced from the author's teenage prayer journals. Additionally, while all musicians will recognize the title as a musical mnemonic (and Arsenia himself is a professional musician), the poems themselves rarely reference music (an exception is "A Notion", which I especially appreciated). Instead, his primary focus is his sexuality and sexual orientation, especially in conjunction with Christianity. (This is also the theme of his podcast- "We Were Christian Kids".) He spends a much smaller number of pages sharing some thoughts on race and racism. Finally, Arsenia is a Kansas City native, as am I, and there are several hometown shout outs included.

I was really moved and impacted by these poems and I recommend the collection. I received an ARC in exchange for my honest opinion. My thanks to the author, publisher, and #NetGalley for this opportunity. #EveryGoodBoyDoesFine

[Cameron · Rating 3 out of 5]

it was okay!!! wasnt my fav style but had some good pages. heres my fav poem
“i’m tired,
but i’m not giving up yet.
still black.
still gay.
still proud,
but mostly just
still.”

[Stephen Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t know what to say other than this is probably one of the most powerful collections of contemporary poetry I’ve read in a long while. From the very start Arsenia’s first poem punched me in the gut and left me in tears feeling seen for the first time in a long time. ⁣
⁣
The collection has multiple focuses: faith, love, race, and being one’s true self while wrestling with the faith you’ve grown up with that urges you to be anything but. The raw honesty and relatability from Arsenia in poems like “Family Portrait,” “A Recipe for Reciprocation,” “Yet,” and a personal favorite “Angry” are what keep the collection alive and I have no doubts this one will stay with me long after this review. ⁣
⁣
Thank you @netgalley and @andrewsmcmeel for the advance copy. This stunning collection drops SEPTEMBER 21. Thank you to the author for the bravery it took to form this collection. I look forward to adding it to my shelf of favorites. ⁣

[Heaven Protsman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not usually a poetry gal, but I was intrigued by the title and cover. I played saxophone for years, so the cover made sense to me.

This collection was incredibly real and raw, and a really incredible way of writing a memoir. I related to some of the entries, and was moved by others. I loved that the author narrated the audiobook.

[willowdog · Rating 5 out of 5]

Delightful!!! A great blending of poetry, philosophy, and autobiography. It is so interesting to read. In truth, I read this work two months before I am writing this review. I've gone back to read sections of this work repeatedly. I never do this. That alone is an endorsement!

[Katherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a good collection of poetry but something felt missing. The poet wrote all of these quite nicely and I'll definitely pick up his future books for a read.

[Jenny Radloff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dieses Buch erzählt die Geschichte des Autors in Form von Gedichten. Diese Gedichte waren teilweise sehr unterschiedlich in ihrer Länge und ihrem Aufbau und wurden gelegentlich von kleinen Zeichnungen begleitet oder ergänzt.
Das Buch teilt sich in 5 Abschnitte. Während zu Beginn die Kindheit und Jugend des Autors als schwarzer, homosexueller Mensch in einer sehr streng christlichen Gesellschaft beschrieben wird, gehen die weiteren Abschnitte auf Themen wie Selbstliebe, Liebeskummer, Homophobie und Rassismus ein.

Die Gedichte zu Beginn des Buches haben mich insgesamt sehr traurig gestimmt, da man spürt, wie der Autor unter seiner "Andersartigkeit", und dem Widerspruch zwischen seinen Gefühlen und den Werten Gottes, leidet. Ich fand die Art, wie der Autor seine Wahrnehmung als Kind geschildert hat sehr berührend. Zugleich fand ich es als Nicht-Gläubige interessant zu sehen, wie Kinder in einer solchen Gesellschaft aufwachsen; wie ihnen einerseits keine Möglichkeit dazu gegeben wird, anders zu denken als die Masse, wie der Glaube andererseits aber auch Sicherheit und Halt geben kann.
Im weiteren Verlauf beschreibt der Autor, wie er zunehmend zu sich selbst und seinen Gefühlen steht und wie er negative, aber auch positive Erfahrungen mit der Liebe macht. Auch in diesen Gedichten spiegelte sich immer wieder seine innere Zerrissenheit. Ich hätte mir dort noch mehr Informationen darüber gewünscht, wie seine Eltern mit seiner Homosexualität umgehen, jetzt, wo er sich nicht mehr versteckt. Im letzten Abschnitt thematisiert der Autor seine Hautfarbe und den Rassismus, den er erleben musste, mit eindrucksvollen Worten.

Fazit:
Sehr schöne, bewegende Gedichte zu Themen wie Homosexualität, Liebe, Glaube und Rassismus, die hier so chronologisch sortiert sind, dass sie wie eine Biografie funktionieren. Sehr empfehlenswerte 4,5 Sterne.


In English:

This book tells the author's story in the form of poems. These poems were sometimes very different in length and structure and were occasionally accompanied or supplemented by small drawings.
The book is divided into 5 sections. While at the beginning the author's childhood and adolescence as a black, homosexual person in a very strictly Christian society is described, the following sections deal with topics such as self-love, lovesickness, homophobia and racism.

The poems at the beginning of the book made me very sad overall, because you can feel how the author suffers from his "otherness" and the contradiction between his feelings and the values ​​of God. I found the way the author portrayed his perception as a child very touching. At the same time, as a non-believer, I found it interesting to see how children grow up in such a society; how, on the one hand, they are not given the opportunity to think differently than the crowd, and how, on the other hand, faith can also provide security and support.
In the following, the author describes how he increasingly feels about himself and his feelings and how he has negative, but also positive experiences with love. His inner turmoil was also repeatedly reflected in these poems. I would have liked more information there on how his parents deal with his homosexuality, now that he is no longer hiding. In the last section, the author addresses his skin color and the racism he had to experience with impressive words.

Conclusion:
Very beautiful, moving poems on topics such as homosexuality, love, belief and racism, which are sorted chronologically here so that they function like a biography. Highly recommended 4.5 stars.

[Heidi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every Good Boy Does Fine grabbed my attention because of the title, and the description of it being a memoir in a poetic form. This short memoir/poetry book was a quick read, and a very unique way of telling the author's story. I went into reading EGBDF completely blind, not knowing at all who he was. Spoken word was what jumped out at me for much of the first section, but then I got to the prayer journal portion of the book. It was pure poetry. I identified with this part of the author, as I was raised in a Christian home and all of these sentiments are similar to how I do still believe; though I know it is not who he is anymore, those pieces were beautiful and full of emotion.
Roughly half of the entries were so poetic, it triggered emotion and connection; others, it was more a format to communicate thoughts and experiences. There was one that read as more a stream of consciousness, and another that read like he recorded a conversation between him and his lover and then typed it out. It was a very creative way to mix up the content. Overall, a brilliant concept. Page 157, though, is basically a repetitive quote, "I'd rather you like me for who I am than hate me for who I'm not." I was really surprised at its inclusion, as it is written like it is straight from his mind, and not a phrase people have been using for a very long time. It also wasn't fitting with how personal and honest the rest of the book is. That one part could have been left out, because the very last poem speaks volumes to it, in a way that is much more real and raw. Racism, homophobia, and sexual references are present throughout. "Confectionately," was probably the most poignant, thought-provoking section; page 167 was my favorite passage from it.
This memoir is for those who love spoken word, poetry, memoirs, diverse authors/experiences, and anyone who should be opening themselves up to stories of those who have been oppressed and hurt because of what they look like, who they love, and who they are.

[Holland · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enticing and enjoyable. It all starts with a simple yet alluring cover. It’s clean, crisp and elegant. The title is perfect. All music lovers and musicians will appreciate the name!
When I see memoir books written in poetry form, I’m eager to make the story a priority. My family is left to fend for themselves until I finish the book.

Calvin Arseni is a young black man who grew up in a fundamentalist Christian home with a single definition what a man ought to be. Calvin struggles with “unnatural” feelings for boys and the impurity and mentally of feeling unclean.
However I felt like I didn’t really get to know Calvin’s story but elements here and there. You will be left with questions. I was left wanting more. I wanted to know the epiphany of his self discovery come to life. Did he keep it a secret from his family? Did he come out of on his own time or pressured into it? Why did his first love suddenly turn away from Calvin? What gave him the courage to explore his sexuality while being in a religious fundamentalist home? Did his family chose to accept him or turn him away? What was it about music that blossomed into a passion? Was it music that gave him healing and the voice he didn’t realize he possessed?

While yes, these poems are nonfiction, I wouldn’t really call this a memoir. If so, the poems could’ve and should’ve gone deeper. I wanted more. However, the poems grabbed my attention and like a potato chip, I wanted to read the next one and the next one! I never got bored and enjoyed every page until the end.
After I read his book, I immediately went to look up his website to see more and understand Calvin better. My heart fluttered when I saw he is a harpist! I LOVE harp and enjoy playing it as well!

That being said, I still recommend this book. There are some solid verses that make you pause and meditate, which is the very definition of poetry!
I appreciate the vulnerability and the painted words Arseni put out in the world. Thank you for sharing.

[Rae's Reading Corner · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars rounded to 4 stars!

"you don't mean to hurt those you love
you just do"

A very powerful collection of poetry that I am grateful to have read. I adored the little illustrations throughout and thought they worked well with the poems that they accompanied. Like many poetry collections that I have read, there were some poems that I was immediately drawn to more than others.

As a whole, the poetry showed a sense of vulnerability while also being completely blunt when voicing the struggles that the narrator has gone through, especially when it comes to religion and race.

This is definitely worth the read, it may relate more to lgbt+ people who are also religious but it was still a good collection either way!

[Carissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

*3.75 stars* *digital arc/copy provided by NetGalley*

This is a poetry collection about being a gay black man raised in the church. Each poem comes together to form Calvin Arsenia's life and emotions about said topics and more. While this was overall a good read some of the poems read more like tweets than poems which was disappointing. Not all poems have to be long and masterfully written but some of these just were too tweet esk.
Overall it was a nice poetry collection. I enjoyed what was said and the overall structure I just think some of the poems are weak (which is a problem with poetry collections in general) Would recommend.

[Gabriel Noel · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC given by NetGalley for Honest Review

"Every Good Boy Does Fine" creates a cacophony of emotions in the best way. It opens up about Arsenia's life in a way that is bold and does not apologize. The poems capture Arsenia's flair for musical compositions and have a sort of lyricism that asks the reader to create along with the author.

Poems stem from topics such as race, sexuality, religious trauma, and relationships. The best poems were the ones that didn't fear purity. Swears, sexuality, and frankness all lend a hand in creating honest art.

My favorites in this collection are: "Teeth Marks", "Curfew", "Angry", and "Perfectly Simple."

[Amanda Bateman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very early in journeying through this collection of works I realized the content was not geared towards my audience. However, I did quite enjoy a few gems that bridged the gap across themes of religious turmoil and self acceptance. Thematically it is nice to see the author's journey through different aspects of his life albeit the formatting was not always my favorite. I found the lengthier entries, especially the latter few, to hold the strongest messages. I am glad I picked this up on a whim.

[Jane Marga · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first chapter is definitely good. It lets me read head on with vivid visuals. Likewise, it reminds me of Richard Siken's Crush in its topic of sexuality.
Furthermore, it has its own flavor of getting across. It's powerful in its own way; however, I don't relate much in the succeeding chapters. The last poem is good though.

[Mariah · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was an interesting audiobook, but it ultimately was not for me. It was obvious that this was very personal to the author and his narration of the book showcases that very well.
This book does involved more adult content and language than I was expecting, but it fit with the themes that the author was talking about.

The full audiobook is only an hour long - so it is a listening that is easily accomplished.