As If I am not there: Watch me shrink I’ll prove it to everyone I won’t stop till I’m tiny I will be thin

by Alexandra Filia

Winny Stokes is like every other normal 17 year old living an idyllic teenage life with lots of friends, pets , a boyfriend and a family who adores her. She also has a serious preoccupation with her weight, but she mostly manages to control it. When her jeans become tight, she knows what to do…

But when the pressures of her last year in senior school, university entrance exams and troubles at home get bigger and more demanding, will she need to do something more drastic to stay on track?

Soon she is deeply entangled in the dark world of extreme dieting and her life and the lives of all those who love her are about to change forever.

Genres: Young Adult

217 pages, Paperback

First published June 26, 2019

Reviews

[Liralen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting for the cyclical nature of Winny's eating disorder, as so many books portray something linear, when the reality is often much more complex. Structurally, though, it took quite a while for the book to feel like it had a plot rather than being more like notes for a book—lots of short chapters explicitly introducing people or places. At the time of writing, it's been a while since I read it, so I don't have much to say, but that's what stuck with me.

[Ashley Scott · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is one entire trigger warning, let me just tell you that up front. It was hard to read the main character’s descent into sickness, even physically uncomfortable at times - but even more so uncomfortable was how much I understood her.

[Katerina · Rating 5 out of 5]

A profound insight into the troubling life of a teenage girl, incredibly moving

[Anton Nina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent read

[Janelle (Nellie) · Rating 1 out of 5]

I honestly cannot stand this book. I know this is probably considered young adult which is fine. But the writing style is like a 9 year old is narrating the story. I made it to the fourth chapter and I still was waiting for the plot to start. The whole first chapter was one long narration on her name and names in general. It’s fine but talk about names for the first page not a chapter. And once I got to the fourth chapter I lost patience because I was waiting for the plot and story to start. I just felt like the main character kept rambling on and on and the writing is just terrible. I felt like I was reading a 9 year olds diary, not a novel. This is probably the worst book I’ve encountered in a while. I thought wintergirls was bad.

[Deborah Scott · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being honest, when I started this book, I would have rated it 3 stars—-and that would have been generous. As the story progressed, however, you were drawn into the mind of the character as she slowly was drawn deeper and deeper into her inward thoughts and perceptions. Lastly, the ending of this book was...wow...

[isobel · Rating 1 out of 5]

Literally one of the worst 'books' I have ever read. Even Wintergirls was better.

[María Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is a very realistic account of life with an eating disorder. By the way: Best. Ending. Ever.

[Supernova · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sex and rape mentions. Very brief.

[Paige Southwell · Rating 2 out of 5]

i don’t understand the ending someone pls explain

[Nat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great book by Alexandra Filia. Real, insightful and very moving