The Anxiety Book for Trans People: How to Conquer Your Dysphoria, Worry Less and Find Joy

by Freiya Benson

As a trans woman, Freiya Benson is super anxious a lot of the time - from feeling unsafe in social situations, to worrying about how she looks and sounds - but over the years she has developed a toolkit for managing anxiety as a trans and/or non-binary person. Exploring specific triggers such as coming out, gender dysphoria, voice anxiety, transphobia, validity, passing and gender expectations, this guide will help you to identify and understand your triggers and anxiety, and build the resilience you need to handle life's challenges.
With advice and personal stories from a range of trans people, this book highlights the importance of self-care and being proud of who you are and highlights how trans people can flourish both individually and as a community when their anxiety is no longer in charge.

Genres: Transgender, Queer, Nonfiction, Mental Health, LGBT, Health

224 pages, Paperback

Published May 21, 2021

About the author

Freiya Benson is a 40 something trans woman from the United Kingdom. She writes about sex, relationships, love and how to navigate the world as a trans woman.

She has had her writing featured in various magazines, including Diva, i-D, and Ladybeard, and has also appeared on the Huffington Post.

She also is an accomplished photographer, with her work appearing in the NME, and Diva magazine.

Her latest project has been the upcoming anthology Trans Love: An Anthology of Transgender and Non-Binary Voices, a collection of her own, and others writing about being trans and in love.

Reviews

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm really glad this book exists.

As a transwoman and someone who has dealt with anxiety for the majority of my adult life, I was really happy to see this book was being made, and even happier when I saw I was given and ARC so I could read it sooner.

At its core, this is a self help book. As the title suggests, it is about Anxiety- and how it presents in all people, then gets in to specifics of how it might affect us as trans people. And I really loved the advise it dispensed. Even if every issue wasn't something I specifically deal with on a day to day level, the advise seemed really solid. I also learned a bit about the history of documented anxiety and that was interesting.

This book doesn't always go the most in depth to issues, and it's not an academic work on anxiety, but I do believe it will help people.

When I first started the book I actually wondered a bit how much it would directly help me as I'm both several years into my transition, as well as have had my share of therapy and have established strategies dealing with anxiety- but this book definitely did present me with new ways to examine myself and my actions. And I think the advice I knew already is great for other readers too.

The writing was lovely. The way Benson presented her work and her ideas was so welcoming, and often very funny, even with dealing with serious issues like anxiety, dysphoria, and social exclusion. This whole book felt warm and wonderful.

I do want to note though, The formatting for me was kinda rough. I don’t know if it was just my kindle because I haven’t seen other reviewers mention it, but it was a continuing issue throughout the book. The main problem is how footnotes showed up. I’m glad the book cited specific sources, but whenever one was added, the footnote itself wasn’t at the bottom of a page, it usually showed up in the middle of the next paragraph. It just broke the flow of reading several times. One time in particular, I wanted to highlight a particularly hard-hitting point in a paragraph, but a citation was right in the middle of it. And I couldn’t highlight the passage I wanted without the unrelated citation. Maybe before official publication I wonder if these could be switched to endnotes at the end of chapters. Or maybe it’s just something weird that happened on my copy I was given, and on my kindle. I don't know. It’s not enough of an issue to take away from this book, but I felt if I didn’t say something about it, the review would be missing something.

I'm very glad this book exists. It is important. I read Trans Care by Hil Malatino earlier this year, and it fills my heart to see our community coming together like this to support each other. 4.5/5

Thank you to Netgally and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for sending me an ARC of this book

[MossyMorels · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really needed this book. I am a trans man with an anxiety and panic disorder, and since this quarantine I moved back in with my conservative family in a red state and started hormones. Obviously, I have a lot of trans related anxiety currently. This book really helped me organize my current feelings and struggles, and validated my experiences. It really helped me realize just how much of my social anxiety is rooted in transphobia. Especially recently I’m finding it harder and harder to go in public, and now this book made me realize its due to the frequent transphobia I’ve been experiencing recently due to living in a red state again. It also gave me good coping mechanisms, and hope for it getting easier.

[Gillian · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is fantastic if you are a trans/nonbinary person with an anxiety disorder that you don't fully understand yet, or who has a hard time coping with anxiety. I felt very seen reading this book, despite being a very cis-passing, feminine person who was AFAB. I know I cannot appreciate, and do not experience, the lived experiences of transmisogyny and the struggles of being transfem that the author does as she is a trans woman. However, there are still many commonalities, making this book a useful tool for folks with anxiety across the gender spectrum who aren't cis.

It's written in an accessible way with a very conversational tone that makes it easy to understand. If you don't like this kind of writing style, it may be hard to get past as it oftentimes is very casual-sounding. I enjoyed this for the most part, as it often allowed me to breeze through the book, however sometimes I felt like it was too much and could have used some refining. For example, with the first chapter on myth-busting, a lot of it was saying things like "just no" more than it was actually explaining why these myths and misconceptions are wrong. In this way, it didn't really give tools for folks to rebuke these sorts of false statements about anxiety.

I also found that it was very simplistic or like a beginner's understanding to being trans and/or anxiety, which left me wondering who the intended audience was. It sometimes felt like it was for cis people and/or people without anxiety to learn, and other times felt like it was for trans folks with anxiety, but overall seemed inconsistent.

I really liked the tidbits of history in the intro, and the author's use of anecdotes and her own experiences to illustrate anxiety, as well as the "On Anxiety" sections where different trans folks talk about their experiences with anxiety and tips to cope. It's very grounding to see your own thoughts and worries reflected back by other people who experience similar things. I also have dealt with anxiety for a while but have not really taken the time to reflect on my coping mechanisms or seek out new ones as much as I should, so reading what works for others is super beneficial.

Overall, I think the book could have greatly benefited from going through another editing and/or beta reader stage, and from a clearer direction on the intended audience- then it would have been 4-5 star material! Thanks to NetGalley for the free e-ARC in exchange for an honest review!

[The Resistance Bookclub · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone who has an Anxiety disorder and is also non-binary, this book feels heaven sent. Life can feel alienating sometimes so it is really important to have a trans author write about her experience instead of a cis "expert" who looks down on you.
The book is genuinely very helpful and I'm trying to incorporate some of the tips into my routine and I've already told my friends about it during a particularly bad dysphoria day.
It feels good to know that you're not alone, that there are others like you with the same highs and lows, people who maybe have figured out a couple of things already and are willing to share their experiences.

[Ashley Peterson · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Anxiety Book for Trans People by Freiya Benson aims to support trans and other non-cis identities in dealing with anxiety. Benson has previously published Trans Love, an anthology of trans and non-binary voices.

The book focuses on experiences of anxiety, and in particular anxiety related to having non-cis identities, rather specifically on anxiety disorders. As such, I think it would be just as suitable for people with “normal” levels of anxiety as for people with anxiety disorders.

Topics covered included trans-specific myths about anxiety, handling social media, coming out, dealing with washrooms and changing rooms, and getting healthcare. There was a chapter on body dysmorphia, and the author shared how self-portrait photography was empowering and helpful in reclaiming her body.

The author talked about surgery, and how she sees it as a way of correcting what went wrong due to testosterone at puberty. I wrote not long ago about a law passed in Arkansas restricting access to puberty blockers, and Benson’s framing of the issue really underscored the importance of gender-affirming care.

The book covers medication and several different forms of therapy as treatment options. The author acknowledges that, for her, dealing with gender-affirming physical issues has had to take priority financially over getting therapy. There are also plenty of D-I-Y ideas for managing anxiety that don’t necessarily cost a thing.

Interspersed throughout the book are guest narratives by other trans and non-binary authors sharing their experiences with anxiety. This provides a good picture of both shared experiences and individual diversity.

While much of the book is focused on challenges, there’s also a chapter devoted to positives, including finding joy, gratitude, and kindness. It’s positive without any toxic positivity, which is always a good thing.

Benson admits she’s not an expert, and this book is based on what she’s learned from personal experience. That’s definitely a strength with this book, as it speaks straight to the intended audience using regular, non-clinical language. At its core, this is a book for trans people, focused on the anxiety that’s almost inevitable while navigating a cis-centric world. I think this was a book that needed to be written.

[Danielle Sullivan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for offering an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest thoughts.

The Trans Anxiety Handbook is an accessible, easy-to-read guide on handling anxiety as a trans person. Author Freiya Benson disclaims early on that she's decided to use "trans" as an umbrella term for anyone not cis, and as a genderqueer / agender person, I thought that worked out fine.

Benson approaches the intersectionality of being trans and having anxiety with a casual, personable style, and covers such topics as social anxiety, handling anxiety about medical services, coming out as trans/ not cis, and anxiety's effects on dysphoria. Interspersed with these chapters are short Q&A interviews with other trans folks who deal with anxiety, which offer welcome additional perspectives to Benson's own experiences.

I think this book is sorely needed. It's targeted at the general audience with no assumptions made about a reader's academic knowledge about gender identity, transgender issues, or anxiety disorders. It offers good, basic practical advice and favors realistic tips over theoretical discussion.

That said, there were some places where I felt like a little more reference to theory would have been helpful, or would have grounded the advice somewhat. I also feel that if you have some background in gender studies, trans studies, etc., and/or if you've been dealing with anxiety and/or have been out as trans for a while, a lot of this information will not be new to you. The book still works well as an introduction, though, or a reminder. I enjoyed it very much.

[Kaine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found The Anxiety Book for Trans People to be an insightful read about the history of anxiety, ways to battle it, and how it affects people who identify as transgender.

Freiya is so welcoming in her writing, she had a lovely disclaimer at the beginning about using the correct terms and aiming to be inclusive. She included so many relatable stories from her life, told in the relation to the topic of the chapters. By the by the end of the book it almost felt like she was an old friend.

I loved the amount of different people with different identities whose interviews were included in this book. All of them struggle with some form of anxiety and it’s nice to know how anxiety affects a wide variety of gender identities.

As someone that suffers from anxiety, I was already doing some of the things that Freiya suggested to help alleviate it but I had no knowledge on the history of anxiety in mankind. The fact that there’s documentation that proves that anxiety was even a problem for the ancient Greeks was mind blowing.

The mindfulness activities throughout the book were an interesting way to look deeper into ourselves and I found them to be a fun engaging experience.

Freiya has a great sense of humor and I’m always a fan of a book that comes with a recipe at the end.

The Anxiety Book for Trans People is a great read for anyone struggling with anxiety, whether you identify as trans or not.

[Lily Heron · Rating 4 out of 5]

Exploring specific triggers such as coming out, gender dysphoria, voice anxiety, transphobia, validity, passing and gender expectations, this Own Voices guide helps readers identify and understand their anxiety. Featuring advice and personal stories from a range of trans contributors, this book highlights the importance of self-care and being proud of who you are. I think this is an excellent resource for anyone struggling privately, especially those for whom therapy is not an available option. It's refreshing to find a book about anxiety written from a trans perspective, especially a British trans perspective. This means some of the medical information is NHS specific, but that's only a small section of the book. I think this would be especially helpful for younger/teen readers, although there are takeaways for adults and those who have lived with anxiety longer as well. For my preferences it felt a little 'starter guide' - I wished I had come to this book as a ten-year-old.

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Earnest, specific, easy read guide on anxiety in trans folks. Benson's method is to describe the situation that could cause anxiety so that it can be addressed, ie what social anxiety looks like, what body and gender dysphoria feel like. Name it, claim it, overcome it. 

Benson writes from her perspective as a transwoman out of the UK, but includes some nods to transmen struggles and the whole USA being on fire. (If only she knew what 2025 brought...)

Not all encompassing and could've used a much longer resource guide, but I think it's a great start and I really appreciate this book existing.

[Kyle · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a trans person with anxiety, I saw this book and knew that I was in the target audience for this.

The author puts things into word that I struggle to and it helped me to feel like I’m not alone.

The book talks about anxiety in general, as well as anxiety that trans people have in relation to being trans.

It took me a little while to get through but that’s because sometimes non-fiction can be a little slow for me. I always find it difficult to rate compared to fiction.

I enjoyed this book andI loved that the author included other trans people’s views throughout

[Edie Xaya · Rating 4 out of 5]

this book is a fantastic resource for trans people who might not have many ways of coping with their anxiety … the beginning of the book spoke a bit on hippocrates and stoicism which was interesting - also hearing similar experiences about memory loss around traumatic times was comforting. grief is a big part of this book, which again was relatable lol the most memorable part of this boon was Maeves experience with anxiety “what’s there to prepare for when the future is just broken glass all over everything?”

the let down of this book was Bensons repetitive topics, id say 50 pages could have been omitted —- like seriously , not to be a bitch tho <3

[James · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book is light-weight, but practical and accessible for people who don't have a background in psychology or related disciplines.

I didn't get anything new out of it in terms of things to help manage anxiety, but it was of great interest to read about how other trans people experience it. A lot of the advice generalizes to cisgender people as well.

Overall, not a huge investment in time or energy, o for people who are trans and experience anxiety, it might be worth reading just in case.

[Kaz]

i'm leaving this one urated because it was simply not for me - it's very anxiety 101 and someone who's already done therapy and has read other self-help books most likely won't find it useful. i appreciated the trans angle, but again, it would be more likely to help someone who's recently come out and haven't had the opportunity to get more invested in the trans community. not a bad book, just very surface level.

[Harri · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Anxiety Book for Trans People is a self help guide written by a trans person for trans people. The author has her own experiences with anxiety, giving this book a very authentic tone. The advice is good, but the thing I took most from this book was simply the validation of another trans person speaking candidly about anxiety.

The book is written in a friendly, down to earth way, and the explanations of anxiety are engaging and easy to understand. The book includes sections where different trans people, including nonbinary people, talk about their own experiences with anxiety. I think reading this will definitely help trans people to feel less alone. Sometimes it can feel like you're the only person who is anxious about certain things, and that everyone around you has their life together, but this book shows that we're all dealing with this together.

It's really nice to see advice for anxiety specifically targeting trans people because so often our experiences are ignored in more general advice. As Benson writes, being trans can add another layer to the more general anxieties that most people experience. It can be hard to pull apart what is just anxiety and what are genuine fears due to being trans in a transphobic world. This book is a starting point for dealing with that, and includes some practical ideas of how to deal with anxiety.

This is a good book that I think any trans person who experiences anxiety will find validating and helpful.

[Jellybean · Rating 3 out of 5]

Freiya is the older trans sister we all wished we had. She's not a mental health professional so her approach is personal. She relays her experiences with anxiety as a trans woman in addition to inserting a number of other trans voices in each chapter on how they define, experience, and cope with anxiety. The questions she asks others are always the same and their answers range from profound to predictable, so it's definitely a mixed bag with that aspect but I do appreciate it being there. She covers a lot of topics from anxiety around social situations, navigating medical needs, employment/finances, etc. all from the perspective of being a trans person and knowing what it's like to have to deal with these things. There are resources scattered throughout to dig deeper. This may not be the last book you need to help you cope with your anxiety but I think it's a great starting point. One modality that isn't mentioned in the book that I personally recommend is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), for which Russ Harris writes a great introduction to for non-clinicians in The Happiness Trap. Alex Stitt recently wrote ACT for Gender Identity, which I have not read yet and believe it is geared towards clinicians but it may be another resource. This review is written thanks to an advanced copy of the text provided by NetGalley.

[Beth_Taylr99]

Thank you to the publisher and netgalley with providing me an e-arc!

What a book! This is such a great book for everyone to read weather your trans or not. This doesn't just talk about being trans it also talks about general anxiety. It was really great because it had sections about being a woman with anxiety and also being a lgbtq+ person in society. This was an incredible read and I can tell that this book will help so many people in the future. I really took my time with this book and I felt that I had an even better reading experience that way. I think that all people should read this, even if your cis-straight! This book was so great to read and I can't wait to own a physical copy when it comes out soon!