Raising Kids for True Greatness: Redefine Success for You and Your Child

by Tim Kimmel

You want only the best for your kids. And you want them to be successful. Sure, there's nothing wrong with that. But what if there was something more? Could your definition of success be leaving out the most important part?

What about greatness? Where does it fit in? "If you aim your children at anything less than greatness, you'll set them up to miss the whole point of their lives," says author Tim Kimmel. In Raising Kids for True Greatness, Kimmel turns the definition of success on its head and guides you in preparing your child for a life that will easily eclipse the goals of those who are merely successful.

Learn how to prepare your kids for rich lives of true greatness by helping them find answers to life's three most crucial, life-changing questions regarding their mission, mate, and

What are they going to do with their potential?Who will they spend their lives with?Who will they live it for?

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Christian, Family, Christianity, Faith

240 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 10, 2006

About the author

Dr. Tim Kimmel is one of America's top advocates speaking for the family. He is the Executive Director of Family Matters, whose goal is to build great relationships by educating, equipping and encouraging families for every age and stage of life. Tim conducts conferences across the country on the unique pressures that confront today's families. His conferences include: Home Improvement: Building a Great Marriage, Basic Training For A Few Good Men, Raising Kids Who Turn Out Right, and Parenting 101. In addition to conducting Family Matters' conferences and keynote speaking, Tim and his wife, Darcy, are speakers for FamilyLife Ministry's Weekend To Remember conference.

Not only is Tim a well-known speaker, he has authored many books including: Little House on the Freeway (featured in the Billy Graham crusades), Gold Medallion Winner Grace Based Parenting, Raising Kids for True Greatness, 50 Ways to Really Love Your Kids, Raising Kids Who Turn Out Right, Why Christian Kids Rebel, The High Cost of High Control, and Basic Training For A Few Good Men. He has also developed several video studies including The Hurried Family, Basic Training For A Few Good Men, Raising Kids Who Turn Out Right, and Grandparenthood: More Than Rocking Chairs.

Tim has been a featured guest on radio and television programs such as Dayside on FOX News channel, Dr. James Dobson's 'Focus on the Family', 'The 700 Club', Moody Broadcasting's 'Midday Connection', and 'Family Life Today.' Tim also hosted his own nationally syndicated talk show for five years called 'Tim Kimmel Live'.

Reviews

[Emily Powers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Parenting books I recommend? Well there's...ummmmm...hmmmmm....NONE. I haven't read one that I would feel comfortable recommending to you. Raising Kids for True Greatness aims a little higher. It tackles a deep question--one we would all benefit from wrestling with at the outset. "What is your goal when it comes to raising your children?" Kimmel asserts that as God-followers our goal is true greatness. "True greatness is a passionate love for God that demonstrates itself in an unquenchable love and concern for others." If your end game is true greatness then your parenting strategy will look odd, and perhaps even revolutionary, in our success-obsessed culture. C.S. Lewis once said, "Aim at heaven, and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth, and you get neither." Kimmel tells parents to cling to grace. "It's about taking the grace that God has given you and letting it permeate the pores of your life. Let it seep through your intellect, volition, emotions and spirit. Let its humanity, gratefulness, generosity, and servant attitude be the posture of your body, the position of your arms, and the constant expression on your face." Parenting begins and ends at the cross. Raising Kids for True Greatness isn't a trendy, evocative, fresh look at parenting; it's based on ancient truth. The writing lacks poetry and the structure is a bit stiff, but the message is a timeless, welcome reminder that the success syndrome has subtly influenced our theology and worldview. It's time to clean house.

[Brett Lowey]

The main thrust of this book was to guide your children to escape the typical success metrics of wealth, honor, power and pleasure and rather to embrace the goals implied by Jesus' teaching to love God, love others and love yourself.

How? First and foremost by modeling that value system for them, in a more local sense by focusing on Humility, Gratitude, Generosity, Grace and above all a life of service.

There was a refreshing amount of universal love, repaying evil with good, pro-joy, pro-fun and balance emphasized.

I found the sections about a Sri Lankan missionary and Joe Ehrman particularly inspiring.

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

While I found Kimmel's "Grace Based Parenting" to be a better book than this, I find "Raising Kids for True Greatness" to be another relevant and useful book for parents. Even more than that, I think the applications to every person committed to living their life for God or contemplating it could benefit from reading this book.

The sections on What if you don't have a great marriage? and Helping Our Kids Process Their Humanness were weak, but not to the point where it negates the message of the book.

[Natasha · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book starts off with a story of Mother Theresa as well as several Bible characters (including Jesus himself) and makes the case that we can raise children who lead just as great of lives. Understandably intimidating, and I almost couldn't get past the first few chapters, although I personally felt it got better and more practical in the last part of the book.

Tim writes about how success is an illusion, but he also says repeatedly that if we aim our kids at true greatness that they will often be successful as well.

A definition:
"true greatness isn't about fame, power, beauty or wealth. It's about a passionate love for God that demonstrates itself in an unquenchable love and concern for others." (end of chapter 3)

Some main points from the book:

Raise children to have humility, gratefulness, generosity and a servant attitude.

Be an abundant thinker instead of a scarcity thinker.

We aren't here for us; we were created for God's glory.

As parents, we need to lead by example, putting emphasis on the things that matter and not get obsessed with money, looks or (fill in the blank).

The chapter I highlighted the most was chapter 7 "Helping your children choose a great master in life".

To find the right mate YOU need to be the right person. Don't get wrapped up in who would make the most money or is the best looking.

The only red flag for me was near the end of the book, Tim referenced a story that apparently Joel Olsteen once told. I try to stay clear of Joel Olsteen and any prosperity gospel or "name it to claim it" teaching, so that made me feel a bit cautious.

In conclusion, I think this book had a lot of good information, nothing earth-shattering that I've never heard before, but arranged in a clear way. It did sometimes feel repetitive or that it offered a lot of pat answers (do this and this will happen).

3.5 stars

[Sheri-lee · Rating 2 out of 5]

There are some good things in here. There are just other things that drew away from that: the lists of 10 things -- sure helpful ideas, but pat answers and it gives the idea that there is this little recipe to follow and everything will work out. Meh.

I also didn't like how he talked about coaches or people who focus on loving and grace and not caring about bottom lines or worldy success, but then adds these little after thoughts of 'oh, by the way, they were undefeated in 3 of 6 seasons' or 'and they got a company given to them'. Again, if we're trying not to focus on worldly success, it's okay if these people do all those great character things and their teams are at the bottom of the league, or they just keep putting in their time as a mechanic and doing their job well. That should be the point of the stories. Sure success can come of relying on God and working on your good character and hard work and integrity, but the point is the following God, good character, hard work and integrity... there are a lot people who live those things and still don't have the success story. Success does not validate the story of their faith and grace, etc. Ugh.

And finally, the repeated references that girls should be learning to pick out matching outfits with their moms, etc. A lot of the discussion about girls was in this focus on beauty...he actually wrote "She probably could have bought a little help from the beauty parlour but that wasn't her style." He then says this is "rather refreshing in the age of nip and tuck femininity" to show his respect of her character, but it's a backhanded thing and doesn't even need to be talked about when the whole point of using her as an example was that she was choosing to focus on becoming the best self God would have her be and let God worry about bringing along her life partner when she (and he) was ready. Why do we even have to talk about her looks at all? That's BS and it makes me angry.

It's too bad. Because I wanted to like this book more.

[Wajahat Khan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not a super helpful book that I received from a Christian family friend for our baby shower. The main guidance was to shift your ideas of success from worldly things to Godly things. It gave many examples of why we should define success based on character and not achievement but no real practical advice on how to develop it in your child. The only real advice was to lead by example, which I think my wife and I are good people with good intentions who will teach our baby these things from our own actions anyway. Also, a few of the “girl advice” or stories involving women being successful were related to appearance and clothes. We live in 2024 where this sort of guidance should not be a thing anymore. It has been quite proven that women can achieve many feats over a man that aren’t just related to their appearance. As someone who will be having a firstborn girl, this was not appreciated.

[Autumn Klepper · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. Couldn’t put it down. The message is gospel-based, refreshing, challenging, compelling, counter-cultural...a ‘formative’ book.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great by Kimmel. I love the perspective reminder of what Christian parenting is really about.

[Csilla Lukács-Lörincz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish very much, that I can accomplish what this book is about. It sets very high goals...

[CHEYENNE BRIDGEMAN · Rating 4 out of 5]

So much great advice and wise words in this book. Not just in regards to us as parents, but for us as employees, students, spouses, friends, neighbors and humans as a whole.

[Cindy Kimble · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is how we should raise our children… And I will do my best with my grandchildren to add these values. Wonderful book.

[Albert Baltes · Rating 2 out of 5]

The biggest problem I had is that this book didn't match my expectations. I have two boys, both under the age of three, that I want to raise to achieve true greatness. I hoped that this book would give me practical advice on raising my boys, but it just didn't. Instead it wafted on about the results of children that have been raised properly. I also felt that Dr Kimmel constantly made a solid Christian statement, and then kind of backed out of it. The whole book felt like 'This is how a Christian kid should be, But don't let them be too radical about it.' I know what he was trying to say, but I think it could have been written better.

However, the central message of raising our children to be grateful, humble, generous, and developing a servant mindset is a takeout that I do believe is valuable, and a mindset that I am going to pursue with my children. Also, he really did emphasis that the best way to raise children for greatness was to model the behavior yourself as a parent, which is the truth and a great lesson for soon to be parents.

If I read this book before I had my first child, I might have rated it higher, as it does give a good framework for parenting, but a couple more practical actions would have done the job better, as opposed to the random checklists after chapters. So only 2 stars from me.

[Alison Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kimmel makes a great point that wealth, power, and beauty aren't true greatness, and aren't what we should be (explicitly or implicitly) directing our kids towards. He emphasizes the preeminence of love for God demonstrated through love for others - in short, instilling a servant attitude. Loved the section on scarcity and abundance thinking.

The examples of Biblical parents just didn't ring true to me as proving what he was trying to demonstrate. And the book felt like he was *selling* parents that their kids will turn out even better if they follow his mantra of true greatness. I'm all for raising my boys with servant hearts, but when I finished, I didn't feel like I had much of a stronger grasp on how to encourage that in the challenge that is daily parenting.

If you've read Kimmel's Grace-Based Parenting you probably don't need to read this, and I'd say that's the one to read (his spiritually safe versus spiritually strong kids has had a big impact on me.) This book might be helpful to a Christian parent who has been gung-ho about raising their kids to be the smartest, fastest, etc. and is starting to wonder if there's more to life!

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Empowering parenting book!

[Catherine Gillespie · Rating 2 out of 5]

As I read Tim Kimmel’s excellent book Connecting Church & Home, I was impressed with a section on character traits that lead to true greatness (humility, gratefulness, generosity, and willingness to serve others) so I checked out his book Raising Kids for True Greatness: Redefine Success for You and Your Child thinking it would go into even more detail.

It sort of did go into more detail, but I have to say that Kimmel’s summary in Connecting Church & Home was far better than the book version, and I can’t say I got much additional insight out of reading the full book. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it was a waste of time, but in hindsight I could really have stuck with what I learned in Connecting Church & Home.

{Read my full review here}

[Christi · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is only one parenting book everyone needs to read and this is it. I plan to reread this book once a month to remind me why I am really a parent in the first place. We can fill our kids' heads with all the knowledge the world has to offer and give them all the tools they need to be successful, but if we do not inspire them to greatness we labor in vain. This book teaches you how to raise "others-centered kids". I used to think Mother Teresa types were rare and created only by God. Now I know differently-God works with parents who are willing to do the hard work of raising up a generation of children who will serve rather than be served. If you only read one book this summer (and I hope that is not the case!) then read this one.

[Amber · Rating 2 out of 5]

This wasn't really what I was looking for. The focus was to shift your ideas of success from worldly things to Godly things. It gave many anecdotes and examples of why we should define success based on character and not achievement but no real practical advise on how to develop that in kids. My idea of success is already in line with this thinking so most of the points he made were moot. His only real advice was to lead by example. Overall it was not a terribly helpful read.

[John · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kimmel does a good job of orienting a parents mind toward raising kids with their compass set on what truly matters, honoring God. The lists at the end of each chapter with 10 practical ways to put the content of the chapter into practice were practical, though I can't imagine myself picking up the book again to refer to the lists. Grateful for authors who encourage kids to be raised with a focus on pleasing God with their lives.

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kimmel has a relaxed manner of writing and simple parenting advice that keeps me wanting to read more of his stuff. I liked the bullet points throughout this resource, quick review of how to encourage greatness - or as Kimmel defines it, "grace that demonstrates itself in the attitudes of humility and gratefulness that ultimately lead to the actions of generosity and a sevant attitude."

[Kayla · Rating 3 out of 5]

I heard such great things about this book: how it would change your outlook and how new and different it was. It was a good read, but the idea was...exactely what the church teaches. So not that new and different. But still good: Teach your kids to serve others. Hooray!

[Christy Hertz · Rating 5 out of 5]

my Sunday School class in Georgia read this summer, I read with them while in Virginia. Defines True greatness for you, then inspires you to "parent" intentionally.

[Mindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book! Even if you don't have kids! Changed my perspective on being a true servant. Changed my life.

[Brendan Powell · Rating 3 out of 5]

Okay book, nothing earth-shattering...good advice for setting the right example for our kids.

[Jeannette]

This is a book to read, heard about it radio, raising children with right attitude, for what is eternal

[Mike · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great reminder of how to define success for your children and yourself.

[Jenn · Rating 2 out of 5]

Was disappointed with this book. I was hoping for more practical advice. His writing style bothered me; I felt it was rather cliche. Didn't get a lot out of it.

[Kyna Saul · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this book. I am planning on going back and making a prayer guide from it.