The Working Mom Blueprint: Winning at Parenting Without Losing Yourself

by Whitney Casares MD MPH FAAP

Learn how to thrive—not just survive— as a modern mom. You love your kids. You’re proud of your professional accomplishments. You have hobbies and friends. And you’re tired. So tired. Working moms often feel like they’re failing on many different fronts. But what if there was a guide to reenvisioning, reprioritizing, and restructuring to build a vibrant, intentional life? As a practicing pediatrician and mother of 2 young daughters, Dr. Whitney Casares understands balancing family and career. She shares honest insights about her own challenges combined with her professional expertise about children of working moms—they thrive!—to create a reassuring guide to navigating modern motherhood. In this practical plan, you’ll learn to set priorities, cultivate self-care, establish an equal parenting partnership, delegate whenever appropriate, and more. With help from Dr. Casares’ advice, it’s time to make motherhood joyful again.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Family

275 pages, Paperback

Published May 11, 2021

Reviews

[B. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received an ARC of this one in a Goodreads Giveaway. The author is well-intentioned, but having picked this one up after finishing The Husbands by Chandler Baker, it all came across as wishful thinking. This is a lot of information that moms already know - yes, we're overloaded. Yes, it'd be great if there was time to do these things (self-care, better work life balance, time for oneself, and so forth - literally, you get the gist, it's what they all say), but without basic societal changes to the very makeup of the family unit and the division of labor, this comes across like every other BuzzFeed, ScaryMommy, TheDad, (insert blog here) about how yes, you need to do these things for you. This is a rich lady's book - outsource it all, make time for you, yeah right. I'm sure this will make someone feel better. I'm equally sure that it will do less good than the author hopes, because her heart is in the right place. As for me? I'll stick with Baker's reverse Stepford setup as a fantasy and keep doing what I'm doing, because, let's face it, Judy Brady Syfers essay "I Want a Wife" is still just as relevant today as it was when she published it in 1971.

[Kaylie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like that she gave some resources for many different types of working moms and different family types. But there were a few examples that were over the top/not achievable for the average working mom or family, especially the expensive suggestions. Not everyone can take weekends away with spouse 3 or 4x a year, or go away with 1 child while you pay a babysitter for your remaining child at home. Or pay for house cleaners. Sometimes parents actually have to "do it all" and cannot outsource very much, if anything.

[Rebekah Buchterkirchen · Rating 2 out of 5]

While there were some helpful pieces of wisdom and overall good recommendations sprinkled within the book, the author’s tone throughout wasn’t one I was particularly drawn to.

[Megan McQueen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thought it was great but I can't read that long of a book on this subject. 100% relatable material though!

[Kassi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mostly common sense, but man it's nice to hear that you aren't the only one going through certain things as a working mama. There are some great tips too that I am excited to try. Things for organizing dinner for example and it being ok to not take a date night OUT every week. Sometimes just sitting with your spouse is what you need and that's ok. My favorite quote from the book... "There is joy waiting for us as we mother, not in spite of our work but alongside it, if we choose relationships, passion and priorities over obligations and guilt. There is joy in the process, in figuring it out, in deciding what's important and then letting go of what we think we're supposed to do." YESSSSS!

[Laurie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review coming soon to the blog.

p.xv "We've also reconfirmed that be it a teacher strike, snow days, or some crisis we haven't yet imagined, the burden of disrupted child care falls disproportionately on mothers (as does everything else)."

p. xxvii "It won't offer 3-step solutions to every working motherhood problem, not because the problems don't exist or because they're not worth solving, but because some of them won't ever be settled until society adapts and evolves."

p. 37 "Being at home more versus at work more was not protective if, when moms were home, they spent the time doing household labor. In fact, there were some associations with moms performing high levels of housework during nonwork hours and increased behavioral problems."

p. 42 "That sense of control over your world that you thought you had goes away when you have a child, and that can feel devastating."

p 47 Danielle Campamor - "What I need is someone to actually care for me. To make me food and take my children so I can focus on myself and only myself. I need someone to see all the things I do for everyone else, and do them for me."

p 58 "I realized as I watched my daughter sulking that I have a way of sulking a lot too- of really needing certain aspects of my world to be just the way I want them...or I consider them not good at all."

p 86 "The fact is, though, breastfeeding failure rates are exceptionally high in the United States, and the working moms I know don't need to be guilted over and over about what works for them and for their children."

p 91 "When we treat children's play as seriously as it deserves, we are helping them feel the joy that's to be found in the creative spirit. It's the things we play with and the people who help us play that make a great difference in our lives." - Fred Rogers

p 118 "What is it that made you decide to enter motherhood? Was it a box you wanted to check off your list? Did you figure 'it's now or never'? Or did you imagine your life richer, fuller, and more meaningful with a baby in your arms and a toddler on your hip - better because you had someone you knew you would love no matter what - that special kind of love that only parents know for their own little ones?"

p. 145 "When we allow technology ... to soothe or entertain our kids, we replace patience with immediacy, we limit our kids' abilities to deal with negative emotions on their own, and we give quick-fix, personalized solutions to boredom, reducing our children's abilities to handle less stimulating environments."

p 154 "That's what a village is - not everyone doing exactly the same thing, but everyone doing the thing they can do (or have the time to do) better than anyone else."

p. 161 "Pediatricians aren't irritated when parents want their child to be seen 'just to be sure everything is okay'."

p. 179 "As a parent, your responsibility is to provide healthy options for your child at consistent intervals during the day. The child's responsibility is to choose how much of any given food to eat at any given time."

p. 220 working from home when your kids are home - "Depending on your schedule, play with your kids early in the day. Kids hate waiting, especially for our attention."

[Clare · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this as an ARC curtesy of the publisher. The book reads like if you asked your pediatrician out for a very long coffee to tell you all her tips about being a working mom and also whatever parenting advice came into her head. The advice is solid but not earth-shattering ."Make time for self-care!" "Be honest with your pediatrician!" The book structure was a little disjointed. Tips for dealing with dealing with kids' illnesses are followed by tips for ... commuting? It feels like that coffee chat turns a bit stream of consciousness.

The overall tone of the book is approachable and nonjudgmental, which is refreshing. I also appreciated the anecdotes from the author's own life. I will say, though, for a book that emphasizes cutting yourself some slack on work/life balance and stepping away from Pinterest, it also makes suggestions like "volunteer at school once a month" and "plant a small garden" that would be laughable for many working moms.

[Tanvi Mittal · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a self-care book like many others (Do Less, Lean In, etc.) where the author talks about keeping yourself sane while raising kids although I don't think that kids are the only one who makes you insane lol. Kids are powerful forces indeed. Chapter 7 - Choosing the childcare needs is the one that stood out for me. When I became a mom I did not necessarily understand the differences between a nanny, professional day care and home daycare. The level of detail mentioned in this chapter to select the option that suits your family is amazing.

[Empress Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book shares the truth about trying to be all and do all for everyone while keeping up with a career. The author is a pediatrician with two daughters, so she's definitely got the experience and know how to write a book with practical advice for how to meet the needs of family, work, and still finding time for some self care. It's about time someone wrote a book of this caliber for working moms!

[Scott Casares · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this from my friend. I could not believe the amount of stellar, evidence-based information in it. There are a lot of books out there about how to kill it in a career, or how to deal with everything at home, but hardly any that touch on how to be effective in both facets of life, all while maintaining a sense of self.

[Heather Conway · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was a little skeptical when I picked up this book. Winning at Parenting WITHOUT losing yourself? Is that really possible? Dr. Whitney lays it out beautifully in this thoughtful, self-reflective, realistic guide, though. I loved how nitty gritty she got into her own experience and how many specific tactics she gave for making this working mom life not just manageable but actually enjoyable.

[Bruce · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Casares presents clear and effective advice for the Working Mom on how to raise great kids while also having your own career. This is a complex topic that she understands well. This book, like her previous book, The New Baby Blueprint, is an example of an excellent physician using her knowledge and experience to help others.

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this book on goodreads. I thought it had a lot of good ideas that people could use to help mothers calm down and make better choices for their families. There were a few things that didn’t seem realistic for the average working mother.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a new Mom, who just went back to work, I really enjoyed her practical advice. The bold takeaways made this a quick read. I also appreciated the advice on all aspects of life, relationships, work, cooking, and of course your kids. Overall, she helped put in perspective what’s really important.

[Madeline Ahles · Rating 3 out of 5]

Didn’t end up finishing. With a toddler this book didn’t quite fulfill my needs and more so a book that seemed to focus on return to work or early decision making. Author writes in a formal matter and as a pediatric doctor can tell she’s well informed and aware. Just not what I needed.

[Carla Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is just what I needed as a new mom. I love how it has information about how to care for myself AND for my kids.

[Kari · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent read for working mothers. She is honest and looks at things realistically but with ideas to improve. I can’t wait to work on some exercises she suggests and see where it takes me.

[Laura Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this read. While it's meant for working moms 90% of the content is applicable to all moms. Definitely a good read.

[Kerry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thinking of a young friend, I entered the Goodreads giveaway for The Working Mom Blueprint. I was once a working mom, wife, and part-time college student and would have found this book VERY helpful.