Sexual healer and entrepreneur David P. Wichman has lived through it childhood abuse, foster care, homelessness, survival sex work, and the blackest pits of drug and alcohol addiction. Despite the darkness, he found a profound sense of purpose as a male escort, but not the type of provider often seen in the news. His approach to sex work transcended common shame-based belief systems as he brought compassionate intimacy to marginalized men, including the elderly, disabled, and traumatized, illustrating a universal need for true connection.
After white-collar crime landed him in jail, David resolved to finally conquer the sense of brokenness that had been driving him to self-destruction throughout his life. In his moving memoir, he recounts how his recovery and spiritual journey have revealed to him his inherent wholeness and worth, a message of love and belonging that he now carries to others. Every Grain of Sand is a celebration of restoration to a life of joy, gratitude, and wonder.
David Wichman was born on a blizzardy Easter Sunday in London, Ontario. Despite such omens, his life from that day has been neither blustery nor holy. At the age of six, he moved with his family to Halifax, where he grew up living steps from the Atlantic Ocean.
After 10 happy years by the sea, David’s parents whisked him back to Ontario, where he finished high school and then went on to study at Toronto’s York University. A brief flirtation with the creative writing program led him to the much more collaborative art of film production, and eventually he found the middle ground, graduating with a degree in screenwriting.
After a brief time interning as a writer at preschool network Treehouse TV, David decided he was much happier in the world of books, as experienced in his summer work as a tutor at the Toronto Public Library, and in his part-time job at a children’s bookstore. The bookstore job grew into a full-time position, and David ended up staying for six happy years.
Eventually, the itch to see the wider world grew too strong to resist, and David traveled to Japan. He spent almost a year there teaching English to school kids and adults before being wooed back to Canada by the woman he loves, and by the position of assistant at Annick Press. The assistant position grew into the role of editor and David ended up staying for six years.
Eventually, the itch to see the kids for whom he was helping to make books grew too strong to resist, and David went back to school to pursue a graduate degree and become a teacher. Being a greedy sort, he wanted to stay involved in publishing, and so continues to do editorial work for Annick.
David was thrilled when Annick asked him to co-write a book with Dr. Michael Evans about common childhood maladies. Dr. Mike’s use of highly visual analogies to explain complicated ailments reminded David of his screenwriting days, and soon The Adventures of Medical Man (Fall 2010) was born. David had a blast imagining each of the six illnesses and injuries as a different movie genre, but the most fun was seeing the stories brought to life by fellow film-buff Gareth Williams’s playful illustrations.
David happily notes that the human body is on the elementary school science curriculum and so he looks forward to using the book with students in his classroom. David lives in southwestern Ontario with his lovely wife.
David P. Wichman – author, speaker, sexual healer, and entrepreneur -- has written a riveting recovery memoir with co-author Heather Ebert, a life story teeming with deep despair and ultimate triumph. Wichman’s memoir is a gritty and grotesque depiction of the deep wounds a lifetime of abuse and trauma, drug and alcohol addiction, and debilitating life choices can leave on a person.
The memoir hits the ground running with Wichman’s foreboding incarceration, opening a rock-bottom chapter in his life when the laundry list of illegal and destructive acts of his past finally catch up with him. Wichman writes “My life pivoted sharply in September 2005, and after decades of struggle and failure, I found my way to freedom from my addictions, as well as an abiding gratitude for the wonder of my own existence.”
He tells the story of a troubled soul, a lost boy whose life was forever altered by catastrophic events outside his control. He spends decades trapped in desperate situations, most of them initially inflicted by others – but many of them self-inflicted as he grows into a displaced adulthood, physically and emotionally. There are moments when the reader might feel overwhelmed, but Wichman’s experiences and perspectives are well worth exploring until the last page.
The seamless balance of light and dark frees this often-heavy memoir from being potentially morose. The content itself is far from pleasant, but the writing is substantive and beautifully poised. Best of all, the reward for riding this roller coaster is a man’s eventual spiritual discovery, personal and professional enlightenment, and hard-won optimism for life over death. This story is brutal, but it is vital.
NOTE: This book is replete with sensitive topics and events. The descriptions of childhood sexual abuse, adult sex work, and drug use might be overwhelming for some readers.
I was blown away by David P. Wichman's memoir, Every Grain of Sand. The rawness, the honesty, his willingness to sink back into the darkness, disassemble the walls, and revisit the traumas to retrieve the memories with such clarity, insight and vividness. A mind punch.
Navigating through the pain of the past is difficult enough, but maintIng the delicate balance between owning one's power and not just recognizing, but claiming and owning the source of that pain, is far more challenging.
Most compelling, for me (aside from wanting to hug him, hold him, love and protect him), is his capacity for forgiveness and honest admission that he's still a work in progress. And that he's not always going to get it right.
His journey -- bare-knuckled tenacity and teeth gritting determination to heal himself and others -- is what makes him shine so brightly.
For those of us lucky enough to know him and to have experienced his electric energy, it is no surprise that the love and light he radiates would emanate from those pages, salty as they may be from the tears.
"One Truth Remains - love is all that matters. Only love is real."
Every Grain of Sand by David P. Wichman is a memoir like none other I have read. At the beginning of the year, I decided that I want to diversify my reading experience, which is why I was looking forward to reading this. This book is a poignant reminder of the hardships that many people experience as drug addicts and abuse victims, and how the struggle with the consequences can last for decades before they either can move on or succumb. This book took my emotions for a roller coaster ride. Sex workers have such a bad reputation and this book helps shine a different light on them. This book was shorter than I first expected but it was definitely worth the read.
Oh man, sometimes this book was so hard to read. What David went through - how he was treated by people who were supposed to love and care for him and how he treated himself - was often dark and horrific. But ultimately, Every Grain of Sand is about healing and hope - a universal message. There were times when I thought "please, please let David find his way out of the life that's killing him." I was so moved when he DID find his way out, and in an inspiring, affirming way.
Every Grain of Sand is a must-read for anyone who has ever felt lost, marginalized or without hope. Because when you finish the book, you will feel renewed - like anything is possible. Because it is.
I read this book in just a couple of sittings, but that doesn’t mean it was an easy read. The author went through more than any person should ever have to endure. And he does it unflinchingly, not ever indulging in self-pity or any sort of martyrdom. And somehow that trial by Hellfire created a diamond, beautiful but nearly indestructible. It’s a fascinating read and I recommend it highly.
TW: This book contains contents of child abuse, child molesting, alcohol and drug addictions.
I am so sorry that Wichman had gone through what he did in his childhood and youth. The first 60% or so of the book was so heavy and dark I felt pained just to read it. I couldn't even begin to imagine the lives of those who never made it; the stories never heard. Wichman had a horrible past life but eventually turned the table. The rest of the book was beautiful and therapeutic, giving positive voices to sex workers and brimming with great love. It goes without saying just how precious he is as a person.
The book flowed wonderfully. Each story mentioned made sense and fit together, painting a picture of Wichman's life as we revisit memories with him. It took Wichman immense courage to share his life story, and I thank him for also sharing his love.
This memoir is for every lost soul out there who wants to be found.
I received an e-ARC from W. Brand Publishing via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
One of my favorite quotes out of this book is "Keep shining your light so others can find their way home!" - and this is exactly what the author did. This book is full of an overwhelming amount of love and truth. Even though I teared up several times, I read it all at once. While following his healing process, you heal yourself. It's an amazing piece of art and a must-read for everyone who needs a shining light and a little hope from time to time. Because there is hope, no matter how bad the situation might seem. And this book, this story - is the proof.
(I want to thank NetGalley, W. Brand Publishing, and the authors for this ARC, which I received in exchange for an honest review.)
This memoir tells the story of David, which is a roller-coaster. The story starts with Broken David. He was a child whose innocence, confidence, and self-worth were stolen from an early age. He suffered from abuse by his step-father, which led him to foster care. As he grew up, he started using drugs and alcohol until he became addicted to the momentaneous relieve those substances gave him. This lifestyle made him extremely vulnerable as several times he was homeless and worked as an escort in dangerous situations (during the confusing discovery and rise of AIDS and HIV, a new mortal decease at that time). He even got involved in white-collar crimes, so he was in jail for a while. However, this is also the story of Amazing David, who rose above everything after his spiritual awakening. He learned how to heal and see himself as the complete, wonderful being that he is. He realized that his life mission was to help others to love themselves, and he became an entrepreneur with a powerful message of hope, resilience, and gratitude.
What I liked: This book is well written, as it is easy to picture the comings and goings of the main character, and the authors managed to explain in a clear and moving way why David behaved the way he did and made the decisions that led him to some complicated periods of his life. I valued every single page because I couldn't stop thinking about the great courage that is necessary for him to remember and revive several parts of his past and share these experiences with the public. I appreciate this very much, and I believe it helps the style to feel personal and captivating. I think it was very interesting to learn about addiction and recovery, there was a lot of new information for me and I believe that learning from others' experiences is extremely important. And, obviously, I enjoyed reading about David's healing process, it was uplifting and exciting. I have always been very critical about the self-help movement and their tools, but if it worked for David, I guess there's no harm in trying. So, he opened my mind a little bit, and reminded me of the importance of gratitude and believing in myself.
What I did not like: There are some parts of the story in which I believed things were getting better, but suddenly something happened and David relapsed. These broken expectations of definitive improvements were very hard for me, even when I understood that this is actually a positive element of the narration because it shows how David felt those ups and downs. I guess that, since I work with people in vulnerable situations every day, reading this book after work could have too much. But, regardless of the fact that sometimes it was tough to read about David going through some intense and painful experiences, I think the book is worth it and I am glad I continued reading.
This memoir struck cords of my heart. David fought the dark and faced the harsh attitude of his life, he was not hopeless. He fought with poverty, racism, abusement and drug addiction. It is journey of hope and determination.It is an impressive piece of writing which expresses how the author renewed his life. It was quick read, dark atmosphere with silver lining. It will change the way you see pain in life.I got the chills so many times towards the end of this book. This is not only physical but also a spiritual revival. highly recommend this book. It is a great aspiration for those who ever faced the crunch.
I read this book given the good recommendations on various websites. I found the book engaging throughout and at times, found myself questioning some of the content given the awful nature. How on earth can anyone treat a child like this, can this really be true? Shameful to think it is. My only thought on the book was that i would have liked to delve into some of the more positive stories a little more. It seemed at times that anything positive was quickly glanced over in favour of the negative aspects. Good book and thank you for sharing.
Five stars for David Wichman, three stars for the book.
I read this for CASA book club. I can't think of another individual whose home life was so terrible that they volunteered to enter the foster care system. That he was able to develop a sense of wholeness after his experiences as a child is a true testament to the human spirit.
The professional writer who helped David tell his story faced a huge challenge, given Wichman's long stretches of time strung out on drugs and the difficulty of presenting the facts of his life in a way that is both truthful yet tolerable to the reader.
A riveting and no holds barred memoir. David doesn’t hold back in such a raw and vulnerable telling of his story. This isn’t just a chronological memoir of life, it’s a spiritual journey from the depths of childhood shame to the resilient present of an unabashed authentic life. David’s experiences will move any reader, but more importantly, any reader will be able to identify themselves in his descriptive account of the feelings and emotions present in the human experience.
What an amazing book. David is a natural storyteller, and he has a powerful story to tell. His journey from abused child, through drug addiction, to self-actualization is harrowing yet inspiring. He speaks fearlessly with courage and honesty. This is not the voice of a victim, rather a survivor and ultimately a hero. He asks you to bear witness to the horror, but also the triumph of the human spirit. I predict wonderful things from him in the future, and can't wait to read about them.
A compelling autobiographical book with a powerful emotional impact. It is amazing how the writer survived what can only be described as a horrendous childhood and an even more terrifying early life of drug addiction. No spoilers on how it turns out, I highly recommend it. Well worth a read. A book that will leave you inspired.
I cried, laughed, and my heart raced with this book. It should be illegal for someone to write so well. This is a painfully human and spiritual story about how the abuse and hell that drug addicts live can become a blessing, about how sex can become a weapon and a Holy Grail to heal those who need it most. It is the testimony of a survivor.
This book is truly about the tenacity of the human spirit and also about how love is truly the foundation of life. Thank you, David, for willing to be vulnerable and share Your story that is all too familiar to the queer community.
I don't think I can write a review good enough to do this book justice, it was an amazing read, a lot of the topics are difficult to get through but I give him so much credit for putting himself out there in such a way.
YESSS READ!! If your on a journey of healing… on a journey of spiritually awakening… if you wanna become your best self… if you know your purpose. 10/10 journey from a wicked childhood into addiction on the street to success. Read this☯️🤍
I loved David’s story. I love his strength and love for others. I found myself crying for David and cheering for David throughout the book. Amazing story!
David Wichman's life starts out innocently enough in suburbia, but it is warped by the time he is six, when he is sexually abused by a neighbor and soon drenched in guilt and shame. His home life, far from being safe and happy, is a horror show of its own, with a mother who is silent and a father who beats him and berates him in public. But like most children, he has eternal hope for their love, understanding, and forgiveness. Will it ever happen?
In and out of foster care, he discovers the excitement of San Francisco, but it proves to be a double-edged sword. While he meets supportive and loving people, he also finds himself homeless and addicted. He paints a vivid and grim picture, decades long, of life on the streets. He hits rock bottom, but with the support of his friends and the clemency of a benevolent judge, he manages to turn his life around.
At that point, it seemed that the story would be over, as if he would live happily ever after. In fact, that was just the start of a new and equally interesting phase of his life, where he discovered the New Thought movement, started a career in travel, and became a new man. There are important landmarks here: coming to terms with his old life, his new life, and, in a way, his family. The final chapter is gripping and unforgettable.
The writing by Heather Ebert beautifully handles the challenge of a complicated story. Not everyone will agree with the New Thought viewpoint, but it is hard not to be inspired by the enlightening effect it had on a man who spent so much of his life in darkness.
Heartfelt. Spiritual. Honest. This could have been a whiny book about having a hard life growing up, yielding an even harder life overcoming the resultant addiction. Instead David opens up his heart and thereby finds meaning and growth from all his early hardships. David has allowed Positivity and Love to shape his life. And he did it the hard way: by fearlessly dissecting negative patterns and thoughts and allowing love to wash over them. This book is wonderfully sex positive and (sex worker positive). David extols the sacred and healing nature of sex. He calls forth an end to shame. This book reminds us that every human has worth and that our goal in life is Love. The first half of this book is a tough read about a hard life. The second half illustrates that any life can be turned around. “All You Need Is Love” I very good, insightful, and inspiring read.
Captivating and powerful...I couldn't put it down.
This is an account of a life redeemed...what was lost became found. David's incredible life journey is an inspiration to anyone fighting to discover and embrace the loveable beings we are created to be and a beacon of hope to anyone that has lost their way. David invites you into his most intimate and hidden memories - a transparency rarely seen in today's society or expected from someone in the sex worker industry. Like a phoenix rising out of the ashes, David's life soars upwards lighting the path for those looking for answers.
This book is a rollercoaster ride of emotions that takes courage to read, but which brings enormous rewards for one’s perseverance. Whatever daunting problems face the reader this book will inspire you to face them, have faith, ask for help and find a solution.
Truly powerful story of one man’s struggle to break the cycle of abuse and addiction. David’s memoir is at times gut-wrenching and yet uplifting at others. It is also a true tale of hope, perseverance, accountability, and spiritual awakening. Highly recommended!
A wonderful, difficult, painfully traumatic yet beautifully redemptive and restorative memoir about the power of the human spirit waiting to be free, loved, and without shame...