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Held: 31 Biblical Reflections on God's Comfort and Care in the Sorrow of Miscarriage
Devotions to help those grieving the loss of an unborn child. Using Psalm 139, Abbey Wedgeworth walks alongside women suffering the heartbreak of miscarriage. Having experienced the sorrow of miscarriage herself, she acknowledges the isolation commonly felt and the impact that such an experience can have on faith. The 31 biblical reflections in this beautiful and comforting book remind grieving women that God sees them, knows them, loves them, and is actively caring for them. These precious verses will show women that God can bring comfort, assurance, protection, and purpose in the very sorrow that they are experiencing. Includes personal stories of pregnancy loss from others, including Courtney Reissig, Kristie Anyabwile, and Eric Schumacher encouraging sufferers that they are not alone. It is a very helpful book to give to women who are suffering in this way.
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Published September 1, 2020
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About the author
Abbey Wedgeworth
20 books31 followersAbbey Wedgeworth is a wife, mother, and writer based on the South Carolina coast.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 94 reviews
May 10, 2020
I will always keep a copy of Held on my bookshelf to share with mothers enduring the pain of miscarriage. In it, Abbey Wedgeworth gently points readers to Jesus in their pain and suffering, reminding them that nothing is wasted. I am abundantly grateful to have a resource that reassures grieving mothers of God’s presence, nearness, and purpose, even in the hardest days. Though I regret that it wasn’t available to guide me through through my own loss, I am thankful to have Held to recommend to others and hand to the women I love.
January 6, 2024
I cannot recommend this devotional enough for a Christian walking through miscarriage and wrestling with all the emotions that come along with that. Wedgeworth does an incredible job at sharing her pain and empathizing while at the same time always ending each devotional pointing back to God and reorienting on Him. Throughout the book, Wedgeworth incorporated the stories of other women and it was encouraging to see them all trust the Lord through their unique miscarriage circumstances.
After suffering a miscarriage in November, a sweet friend from church sent me this book and said it had encouraged her greatly through her miscarriage. This book helped me process and give words to emotions that I was feeling. So many times I would read Wedgeworth describe some deep, dark thought she had and I would feel so seen and validated because I'd had those thoughts too.
After suffering a miscarriage in November, a sweet friend from church sent me this book and said it had encouraged her greatly through her miscarriage. This book helped me process and give words to emotions that I was feeling. So many times I would read Wedgeworth describe some deep, dark thought she had and I would feel so seen and validated because I'd had those thoughts too.
September 17, 2020
The best resource I know of for women suffering a miscarriage.
October 29, 2023
this book was so comforting to me in a really difficult season. It validated our loss and helped me process my grief while reminding me of God’s grace and kindness even amidst suffering.
November 28, 2022
3.5/5 I want to start my review by saying I think this is the best Christian resource out there for women who have experienced a miscarriage. You will not find well-intentioned lies in this book that deny God’s sovereignty over pain and suffering, so I deeply appreciate that and the author’s deep commitment to truth.
I would also like to say that the first half of the book or so is very comforting and addresses some important things that women who have experienced a miscarriage long to hear- that their baby was fearfully and wonderfully made, significant and holy, no matter how many days of life they had. Beautiful.
So, why 3.5 stars?
I personally feel that the second half of the book is heavy on admonishment and light on comfort. I feel like it rushes the grieving process by admonishing women who have just experienced a traumatic event to act in line with the truth. I think the truths the author shares are important and healing, I just don’t know if the first month after a miscarriage is the right time for a woman to hear them.
What we know about trauma and grief is that the prefrontal cortex of the brain, the part responsible for logical reasoning, is sometimes not even active after a traumatic event. So to share so much heavy truth so early, in my opinion, can make a woman already burdened feel guilty or ashamed of her grief and deep questions that might take years of wrestling with God to overcome.
I also felt like the second half of the book was a little lacking in vulnerability from the author, and maybe that’s why it comes off as a little overly didactic to me. I just don’t feel like she shares a lot of her own questioning and weakness and struggles along with the truth. She describes herself as scouring a study Bible in the weeks following her miscarriage. That’s great that she had the capacity to do that, but I personally just wasn’t there.
In a similar vein, the author encourages women to evaluate whether anything they did may have caused or contributed to their miscarriage. She does this by questioning her doctor’s words when he/she said, “this wasn’t your fault.” The author basically says that her doctor doesn’t know her personally and therefore cannot know for sure that the miscarriage wasn’t her fault. I understand that some women may not have been protecting their baby to the best of their ability, and these women need to experience the healing and forgiveness available to them in the gospel, but I’d be willing to bet that most women reading this book were doing everything in their power to preserve their baby’s life. Opening up this question to someone already wrestling with undeserved guilt over the trauma they have experienced is very risky in my opinion. Again-I just don’t think it’s the time or place to be asking that question.
Lastly, it seems like the author views d&c’s as a last resort option only after medication to induce labor for a missed miscarriage has been taken. The author does not state this explicitly, just something I felt was implied. Many women choose to have a d&c to avoid the trauma of having to birth their dead baby, and I feel like the author subtlety frowns on this decision by the way she talks about it.
Despite these concerns, I am grateful for this book!
I think this author cares deeply for women who have experienced miscarriage and loss and longs for them to know hope and healing in Jesus.
I would also like to say that the first half of the book or so is very comforting and addresses some important things that women who have experienced a miscarriage long to hear- that their baby was fearfully and wonderfully made, significant and holy, no matter how many days of life they had. Beautiful.
So, why 3.5 stars?
I personally feel that the second half of the book is heavy on admonishment and light on comfort. I feel like it rushes the grieving process by admonishing women who have just experienced a traumatic event to act in line with the truth. I think the truths the author shares are important and healing, I just don’t know if the first month after a miscarriage is the right time for a woman to hear them.
What we know about trauma and grief is that the prefrontal cortex of the brain, the part responsible for logical reasoning, is sometimes not even active after a traumatic event. So to share so much heavy truth so early, in my opinion, can make a woman already burdened feel guilty or ashamed of her grief and deep questions that might take years of wrestling with God to overcome.
I also felt like the second half of the book was a little lacking in vulnerability from the author, and maybe that’s why it comes off as a little overly didactic to me. I just don’t feel like she shares a lot of her own questioning and weakness and struggles along with the truth. She describes herself as scouring a study Bible in the weeks following her miscarriage. That’s great that she had the capacity to do that, but I personally just wasn’t there.
In a similar vein, the author encourages women to evaluate whether anything they did may have caused or contributed to their miscarriage. She does this by questioning her doctor’s words when he/she said, “this wasn’t your fault.” The author basically says that her doctor doesn’t know her personally and therefore cannot know for sure that the miscarriage wasn’t her fault. I understand that some women may not have been protecting their baby to the best of their ability, and these women need to experience the healing and forgiveness available to them in the gospel, but I’d be willing to bet that most women reading this book were doing everything in their power to preserve their baby’s life. Opening up this question to someone already wrestling with undeserved guilt over the trauma they have experienced is very risky in my opinion. Again-I just don’t think it’s the time or place to be asking that question.
Lastly, it seems like the author views d&c’s as a last resort option only after medication to induce labor for a missed miscarriage has been taken. The author does not state this explicitly, just something I felt was implied. Many women choose to have a d&c to avoid the trauma of having to birth their dead baby, and I feel like the author subtlety frowns on this decision by the way she talks about it.
Despite these concerns, I am grateful for this book!
I think this author cares deeply for women who have experienced miscarriage and loss and longs for them to know hope and healing in Jesus.
March 30, 2021
This book has been a great blessing to me. The scriptures that are referenced felt so timely and spoke to God’s character in the midst of pain and sorrow. It definitely has served as a “worship aid” that helped me worship God from the valley. I highly recommend this to any hurting mama that is grieving the loss of babies she’ll never hold.
March 9, 2025
Psalm 139
An excellent devotional for women who have experienced miscarriage. It found it helping me process suffering and trials I have experienced even outside of my miscarriages and strengthening my trust in the Lord.
An excellent devotional for women who have experienced miscarriage. It found it helping me process suffering and trials I have experienced even outside of my miscarriages and strengthening my trust in the Lord.
October 17, 2022
In June I learned I was pregnant with twins, and in July I learned that I had miscarried one of my babies. My pastor gifted me this devotional - and with it so much validation and encouragement. Though none of the entries spoke to my unique circumstance (grieving one baby while simultaneously carrying another), it did articulate the sorrow and bitterness I felt and had no words for. It also offered hope related to the character and promise of God without dismissing the pain I have been experiencing. This devotion will be one to come back to as my grief journey evolves.
January 16, 2025
I've been slowly working through this devotional over the past six months or so. This was a gift from my pastor, as he counseled us through the loss of our first child. My husband received the companion book, "Ours," for fathers of loss. This was a very warm and biblical book, covering many aspects of grief in losing a baby in the womb. I will definitely recommend this to others.
August 25, 2020
This is some of the most powerful work I have read around the topic of miscarriages. It is honest and real, unafraid of exposing the most hidden parts of walking through pregnancy loss. It doesn’t offer false hope or empty promises, but ties everything back to God and His promises. I appreciated that the book offers multiple perspectives, with several women and one man sharing their vastly different experiences with pregnancy loss. It included specific questions for reflection, which is incredibly helpful for processing the many emotions that come up during a miscarriage (or, that may still be lingering in the years after). It is equal parts comforting and convicting, holding out truths about God’s care for us while also not allowing one to stay stuck in self-pity. In a world that is quick to encourage you to either “get over it” or to make getting pregnant again your sole hope, this book is a breath of fresh air.
I would recommend this book to anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss, as well as anyone who is friends/family/in ministry to someone who has experienced pregnancy loss.
I would recommend this book to anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss, as well as anyone who is friends/family/in ministry to someone who has experienced pregnancy loss.
June 5, 2024
This precious book was gifted to me by a dear sister in Christ days after my husband and I lost our baby. It caused my heart to worship through my pain. Abbey Wedgeworth walks the reader through Psalm 139, empathizing with the pain of miscarriage, while gently pointing the reader to Christ as the greatest comfort and hope. Lore Ferguson Wilbert's story was my personal favorite, especially this statement: "However his nearness comes - in silence, in greatness, in provision, in lack, in fullness, or in meagerness - it is enough."
I now have an extra copy of "Held" on my shelf, ready to place in the hands of the next mother grieving her miscarriage.
I now have an extra copy of "Held" on my shelf, ready to place in the hands of the next mother grieving her miscarriage.
April 7, 2021
I didn’t read through this daily, since it has been over a year since my own miscarriage. I did read it to see if it would be a good resource to give to miscarrying mothers in the future. I’m often nervous and skeptical at books like this, but a dear friend mentioned how much it helped her through her own miscarriage, so I bought a copy!
After reading through, I wish so badly this had been available to me as I walked through my own miscarriage. The variety of scripture and promises is so beautiful. I’ll be keeping a copy on hand to gift to mothers in the future as they walk through miscarriage.
After reading through, I wish so badly this had been available to me as I walked through my own miscarriage. The variety of scripture and promises is so beautiful. I’ll be keeping a copy on hand to gift to mothers in the future as they walk through miscarriage.
November 11, 2024
This was a gift from a friend and I have used it more than once. I would say it was one of the best things anyone did or gave me. It was simple, easy to manage during my recovery and so comforting.
December 20, 2023
“Suffering tempts us to believe that God is absent, cruel, manipulative, or unconcerned, but the Bible offers us the truth.”
I very much wish I had had this book when I experienced my miscarriage. This will be my top book recommendation for anyone grieving miscarriage or infant loss.
Abbey talks about every struggle I remember wrestling with— the complex and conflicting thoughts about myself and God, doubting God, feeling prayer is pointless, frustration with others’ responses to my pain, feeling responsible for my suffering, having a hard time being happy for other mothers, feeling like my body is broken and unable to do the very thing God commanded us to do, and just feeling like my faith had faltered.
It is written with such validation and compassion and gently helps us see God for who he is and helps us lift our eyes to He who can comfort us and give us peace in an impossible time.
I know most women going through miscarriage or infant loss probably aren’t looking for a book to read. It may feel too daunting. But this book is meant to be read just a couple pages at a time. It’s very manageable, comforting, and will speak to the very grief we struggle with.
Each chapter is just a few pages and concludes with some verses to read, reflection questions, a response, and a place to journal.
Right out of the gate Abbey hits on the most important thing we need to think about when we go through trials and suffering: who is God?
“You can choose to allow your circumstances to shape your understanding of who God is, or you can allow what the Bible says about who God is to inform how you respond to your grief. What you believe about God…will have everything to do with the way that you heal and move forward.”
I eventually got to this point in my grief journey, but this book would have made that process a lot faster.
If there is a single most important thing that helped me heal, it was this realization. I had to stop asking why and start looking at who— who God says he is. What is his character? Because we most likely won’t get the answers we seek (and there is a chapter devoted to this thought as well) but if we know Who is sovereign and Who loves us, we can trust him in the ‘withholding’ of the answers we think we need.
This book is written around Psalm 139. I memorized this Psalm when I was in high school, before I had ever really experienced grief or pain. And this book opened up this Psalm even more for me and showed me how each verse is a comfort in our trials. It provides a framework for sadness but also for hope and for trusting in the One who knows all and sees all.
I love how this is the focus because even if we forget some of what we read in the book, any time I read Psalm 139, now, I think it will be a re-centering and a reminder for handling hardship.
I specifically remember that in my pain, I did not want to pray. I didn’t even know how to pray. Sometimes I think I still wrestle with that. But I love what Abbey encourages us with in the chapter on prayer:
“Prayer will make a difference in your suffering, even if it doesn’t make a difference in your circumstances, because it will undoubtedly make a difference in you.”
“Disappointment is inevitable in a fallen world, but the way to stop it from growing into bitterness is through thanksgiving: trusting God’s commitment to our good, reminding ourselves of all he has done for us in Christ, and then specifically noticing and praising him for every little thing he gives us as grace upon grace.”
There are many reasons to pray, but one is because it is our communication line to the our heavenly Father who wants to hear from us. Prayer isn’t always for the results, but it changes us as we depend on the Lord.
It made me think of Benjamin Hastings song ‘That’s the Thing About Praise’. The lyrics say:
‘There's what I want, and then there's where I'm at
Every one step forward, it got me five steps back
And I cried, I called, God knows I prayed
But most days, faith is climbing up a mountain that stayed
It don't always fix your problems, but it'll tell ya how small they are
That's the thing about praise
It won't always move the mountain, but it's good for the heart
That's the thing about praise
You'll never know what it's gonna change, but it'll always leave a mark
That's the thing about praise
Yeah, I might see walls start falling, or it might just change my heart
That's the thing about praise’
And as we think about singing that praise, it struck me in her chapter on going back to church how being around other believers helps us.
“When we join in singing with other saints, or let tears flow as we simply listen to their voices, we are prompted to praise God and to remember the truth of the gospel. Sometimes those voices carry our weary, doubting hearts, declaring over us the words we desperately need to hear and are struggling to sing—or believe—ourselves.”
This is exactly as it was for me. When I miscarried, the song ‘Good, Good Father’ had just become popular and was sung all the time. I couldn’t bring myself to sing the words. They didn’t feel true to me. Yet I knew they were. I think God was healing my heart even if I didn’t know it by listening to others sing those words around me until I could believe them again. ‘Your Word says you are good, God,’ I would say, ‘Help me believe it because I can’t sing this right now.’
Every chapter was a balm. Even for me, being almost a decade past my miscarriage, it was still healing to read this, to reflect on how I felt years ago and see where I am at now. To see God’s faithfulness. And to heal some parts that I didn’t know still needed healing.
Recommendation
I highly recommend this book and am so thankful for Abbey’s compassion and transparency in writing it. She includes short stories written by other women (and one man) who also experienced grief.
Even though miscarriage is common, no two experiences are ever the same. And common or not, the pain is real and often debilitating.
I believe this book will offer so much to those going through this heartache. Not just to survive, but to draw us back to our life source and the only true place of comfort.
“As we walk forward into a future that is unknown to us, we can embrace with certainty the comfort that comes from the knowledge of who God is, the fact that he is with us, and the assurance that he is leading us by his grace toward a new heaven and a new earth, where there will be no more sorrow, no more pain, and no more babies that die too young.”"
“Hope in the current and coming glory of God without fear or shame, because in the death and resurrection of Jesus, you and I find the absolute certainty that God’s plan of redemption can never be miscarried.”
[Note on the book: The cover shown in these pictures is the hardcover version I purchased. It has an elastic yellow band that closes the book. It gives it a journal-like look and feel. It would make a great gift if you know someone going through loss to add to a care package.]
Quotes
To give you a better idea of the encouragement you’ll find in this book, here are some more quotes:
“You may long to feel strong, capable, and unencumbered by sadness after your miscarriage—you may want to be out of this season and on to another—but the value of suffering is discovered in the midst of it as well as after it, for it is while we are walking through it that our frailty and weakness can convince us of our need for God’s power and sufficiency.”
“Scripture tethers our hearts to what is true when we feel ungrounded and uncertain. In it we hear him speak and are assured that he hears us when we cry out to him. As his truth informs our feelings and our hearts draw near to him in prayer, he comforts us with a peace that surpasses all understanding—an unshakeable confidence that he is with us and for us, and that our souls are secure.”
“Your trials are not opportunities to discover how strong you are but rather for you to learn to depend on the strength of the Lord. (Eph 3:20)”
“In that spiritual darkness in a time when nothing makes sense and when our doubts seem to be speaking louder than our faith, we must remember that believing is not a matter of strength. Faith is not something we conjure up; it is a gift we receive.”
“You may doubt or falter but that doesn’t mean your faith has failed or your soul is lost… even as we lie awake with all of that heartache, weakness, bitter disappointment, and fear—even as we sit in the darkness, riddled with confusion and doubt, wondering if we will make it out of this with our faith intact—we can say with the writer of Psalm 16:7-8 ‘I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.’”
“However perplexing the question may be of how a good and loving God could allow suffering, his control is a comfort to us in hardship because we know his character and his promises to us. (Rom 8:28-30) Miscarriage is not good, no, not good at all, but according to the Bible, God’s purposes for you within it most certainly are… when God’s word tells us that he works all things together for our good, that good isn’t necessarily our material or physical good—the growth of our families, for example. He is committed to our spiritual good.”
“I don’t pretend to understand exactly how this works, but somehow, God’s redemptive purposes for your life are being accomplished through the suffering you’re currently enduring. He’s getting glory from it, and you’re being prepared for glory by it.”
“When you feel bitterness and confusion over the mystery of suffering, you can give God glory by trusting that his plans are perfect and his ways are higher than yours, even if they are incomprehensible to you. And when you feel despondent and sorrowful, you can give God glory by hoping in Christ.”
“When your body can’t hold on to a baby, what other hope do you have than to cling to the God who will hold on to you?”
“When we see that God did not withhold his own Son, we can believe that anything he does withhold, he withholds in love.”
“If our sense of purpose lies solely in motherhood, the loss of an unborn baby can lead to a feeling of worthlessness. But if we believe that our chief end or highest calling is ‘to glorify God and enjoy him forever,’ then we can be filled with purpose and satisfaction in any season and any role.”
[Visit my original review for a list of further reading books.]
Book Review Blog | Facebook | Pinterest | StoryGraph
I very much wish I had had this book when I experienced my miscarriage. This will be my top book recommendation for anyone grieving miscarriage or infant loss.
Abbey talks about every struggle I remember wrestling with— the complex and conflicting thoughts about myself and God, doubting God, feeling prayer is pointless, frustration with others’ responses to my pain, feeling responsible for my suffering, having a hard time being happy for other mothers, feeling like my body is broken and unable to do the very thing God commanded us to do, and just feeling like my faith had faltered.
It is written with such validation and compassion and gently helps us see God for who he is and helps us lift our eyes to He who can comfort us and give us peace in an impossible time.
I know most women going through miscarriage or infant loss probably aren’t looking for a book to read. It may feel too daunting. But this book is meant to be read just a couple pages at a time. It’s very manageable, comforting, and will speak to the very grief we struggle with.
Each chapter is just a few pages and concludes with some verses to read, reflection questions, a response, and a place to journal.
Right out of the gate Abbey hits on the most important thing we need to think about when we go through trials and suffering: who is God?
“You can choose to allow your circumstances to shape your understanding of who God is, or you can allow what the Bible says about who God is to inform how you respond to your grief. What you believe about God…will have everything to do with the way that you heal and move forward.”
I eventually got to this point in my grief journey, but this book would have made that process a lot faster.
If there is a single most important thing that helped me heal, it was this realization. I had to stop asking why and start looking at who— who God says he is. What is his character? Because we most likely won’t get the answers we seek (and there is a chapter devoted to this thought as well) but if we know Who is sovereign and Who loves us, we can trust him in the ‘withholding’ of the answers we think we need.
This book is written around Psalm 139. I memorized this Psalm when I was in high school, before I had ever really experienced grief or pain. And this book opened up this Psalm even more for me and showed me how each verse is a comfort in our trials. It provides a framework for sadness but also for hope and for trusting in the One who knows all and sees all.
I love how this is the focus because even if we forget some of what we read in the book, any time I read Psalm 139, now, I think it will be a re-centering and a reminder for handling hardship.
I specifically remember that in my pain, I did not want to pray. I didn’t even know how to pray. Sometimes I think I still wrestle with that. But I love what Abbey encourages us with in the chapter on prayer:
“Prayer will make a difference in your suffering, even if it doesn’t make a difference in your circumstances, because it will undoubtedly make a difference in you.”
“Disappointment is inevitable in a fallen world, but the way to stop it from growing into bitterness is through thanksgiving: trusting God’s commitment to our good, reminding ourselves of all he has done for us in Christ, and then specifically noticing and praising him for every little thing he gives us as grace upon grace.”
There are many reasons to pray, but one is because it is our communication line to the our heavenly Father who wants to hear from us. Prayer isn’t always for the results, but it changes us as we depend on the Lord.
It made me think of Benjamin Hastings song ‘That’s the Thing About Praise’. The lyrics say:
‘There's what I want, and then there's where I'm at
Every one step forward, it got me five steps back
And I cried, I called, God knows I prayed
But most days, faith is climbing up a mountain that stayed
It don't always fix your problems, but it'll tell ya how small they are
That's the thing about praise
It won't always move the mountain, but it's good for the heart
That's the thing about praise
You'll never know what it's gonna change, but it'll always leave a mark
That's the thing about praise
Yeah, I might see walls start falling, or it might just change my heart
That's the thing about praise’
And as we think about singing that praise, it struck me in her chapter on going back to church how being around other believers helps us.
“When we join in singing with other saints, or let tears flow as we simply listen to their voices, we are prompted to praise God and to remember the truth of the gospel. Sometimes those voices carry our weary, doubting hearts, declaring over us the words we desperately need to hear and are struggling to sing—or believe—ourselves.”
This is exactly as it was for me. When I miscarried, the song ‘Good, Good Father’ had just become popular and was sung all the time. I couldn’t bring myself to sing the words. They didn’t feel true to me. Yet I knew they were. I think God was healing my heart even if I didn’t know it by listening to others sing those words around me until I could believe them again. ‘Your Word says you are good, God,’ I would say, ‘Help me believe it because I can’t sing this right now.’
Every chapter was a balm. Even for me, being almost a decade past my miscarriage, it was still healing to read this, to reflect on how I felt years ago and see where I am at now. To see God’s faithfulness. And to heal some parts that I didn’t know still needed healing.
Recommendation
I highly recommend this book and am so thankful for Abbey’s compassion and transparency in writing it. She includes short stories written by other women (and one man) who also experienced grief.
Even though miscarriage is common, no two experiences are ever the same. And common or not, the pain is real and often debilitating.
I believe this book will offer so much to those going through this heartache. Not just to survive, but to draw us back to our life source and the only true place of comfort.
“As we walk forward into a future that is unknown to us, we can embrace with certainty the comfort that comes from the knowledge of who God is, the fact that he is with us, and the assurance that he is leading us by his grace toward a new heaven and a new earth, where there will be no more sorrow, no more pain, and no more babies that die too young.”"
“Hope in the current and coming glory of God without fear or shame, because in the death and resurrection of Jesus, you and I find the absolute certainty that God’s plan of redemption can never be miscarried.”
[Note on the book: The cover shown in these pictures is the hardcover version I purchased. It has an elastic yellow band that closes the book. It gives it a journal-like look and feel. It would make a great gift if you know someone going through loss to add to a care package.]
Quotes
To give you a better idea of the encouragement you’ll find in this book, here are some more quotes:
“You may long to feel strong, capable, and unencumbered by sadness after your miscarriage—you may want to be out of this season and on to another—but the value of suffering is discovered in the midst of it as well as after it, for it is while we are walking through it that our frailty and weakness can convince us of our need for God’s power and sufficiency.”
“Scripture tethers our hearts to what is true when we feel ungrounded and uncertain. In it we hear him speak and are assured that he hears us when we cry out to him. As his truth informs our feelings and our hearts draw near to him in prayer, he comforts us with a peace that surpasses all understanding—an unshakeable confidence that he is with us and for us, and that our souls are secure.”
“Your trials are not opportunities to discover how strong you are but rather for you to learn to depend on the strength of the Lord. (Eph 3:20)”
“In that spiritual darkness in a time when nothing makes sense and when our doubts seem to be speaking louder than our faith, we must remember that believing is not a matter of strength. Faith is not something we conjure up; it is a gift we receive.”
“You may doubt or falter but that doesn’t mean your faith has failed or your soul is lost… even as we lie awake with all of that heartache, weakness, bitter disappointment, and fear—even as we sit in the darkness, riddled with confusion and doubt, wondering if we will make it out of this with our faith intact—we can say with the writer of Psalm 16:7-8 ‘I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.’”
“However perplexing the question may be of how a good and loving God could allow suffering, his control is a comfort to us in hardship because we know his character and his promises to us. (Rom 8:28-30) Miscarriage is not good, no, not good at all, but according to the Bible, God’s purposes for you within it most certainly are… when God’s word tells us that he works all things together for our good, that good isn’t necessarily our material or physical good—the growth of our families, for example. He is committed to our spiritual good.”
“I don’t pretend to understand exactly how this works, but somehow, God’s redemptive purposes for your life are being accomplished through the suffering you’re currently enduring. He’s getting glory from it, and you’re being prepared for glory by it.”
“When you feel bitterness and confusion over the mystery of suffering, you can give God glory by trusting that his plans are perfect and his ways are higher than yours, even if they are incomprehensible to you. And when you feel despondent and sorrowful, you can give God glory by hoping in Christ.”
“When your body can’t hold on to a baby, what other hope do you have than to cling to the God who will hold on to you?”
“When we see that God did not withhold his own Son, we can believe that anything he does withhold, he withholds in love.”
“If our sense of purpose lies solely in motherhood, the loss of an unborn baby can lead to a feeling of worthlessness. But if we believe that our chief end or highest calling is ‘to glorify God and enjoy him forever,’ then we can be filled with purpose and satisfaction in any season and any role.”
[Visit my original review for a list of further reading books.]
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July 7, 2024
This is a great read for those who have experienced loss through miscarriage. The author delves into God's perfect promise of redemption, hope, and peace through Christ. He is enough.
October 7, 2024
This book was gifted to us by friends after our first miscarriage and it brought so much comfort in having my confusing and difficult thoughts be written down from another person’s perspective. It made me feel less alone and comforted, always point back to God’s plan of redemption. My husband and I read it together and it helped him better understand how pregnancy loss has affected me and communicate better through the grief.
August 8, 2025
This book was gifted to me after my second miscarriage. The truth of God’s word has been such a healing to my soul and my aching heart. I know God sees me and one day He will right every wrong. I’ve also gifted this book to several friends who have recently miscarried as well. The book is held dear to my heart forever.
October 5, 2022
Highly recommend. It’s been such a comfort and encouragement to me. Worth having on your shelf ready to give a Christian friend who loses an unborn baby (or stillborn/neonatal death)
September 17, 2020
After a successful pregnancy with our son, my husband and I had a miscarriage. As you know if you have been through it, it was a hard time for us and a difficult thing to go through. I wondered where God was in all of that. I wish I had had a book like Held by Abbey Wedgeworth when I went through that time in my life.
When I went through a miscarriage, I received some comments from well-meaning people that were just sort of fluffy and meaningless platitudes. Wedgeworth shares in the introduction that this book is based on contents that you can cling to, "something steady and unchanging:the character and word of God." She also recommends that readers go through this book at their own pace and read the readings as you are ready. Wedgeworth has included pieces of her story and the stories of other women who have faced similar situations along with the reflections on Scripture. Each chapter includes the personalized reading, Bible verses to read that relate, questions to ask yourself and some thoughts in response to the reading. There is also space to journal your thoughts as you go through the book. At the back of the book, she also includes a list of books that she recommends reading.
Held has 31 Biblical Reflections on the sorrow and God's comfort of miscarriage. I think this book would be a meaningful gift for anyone who has gone through a miscarriage or lost a baby. Wedgeworth clearly writes as someone who has been there and understands the sort of comforting words that are helpful. The readings are a good length to reflect on. I think I would rather write in another journal than use the space in this book but there is journaling space for those who would like to use it. There is also an elastic band on the book and a ribbon that could be used as a page marker.
I received a copy of this book from The Good Book Company. All opinions within this review are my own.
When I went through a miscarriage, I received some comments from well-meaning people that were just sort of fluffy and meaningless platitudes. Wedgeworth shares in the introduction that this book is based on contents that you can cling to, "something steady and unchanging:the character and word of God." She also recommends that readers go through this book at their own pace and read the readings as you are ready. Wedgeworth has included pieces of her story and the stories of other women who have faced similar situations along with the reflections on Scripture. Each chapter includes the personalized reading, Bible verses to read that relate, questions to ask yourself and some thoughts in response to the reading. There is also space to journal your thoughts as you go through the book. At the back of the book, she also includes a list of books that she recommends reading.
Held has 31 Biblical Reflections on the sorrow and God's comfort of miscarriage. I think this book would be a meaningful gift for anyone who has gone through a miscarriage or lost a baby. Wedgeworth clearly writes as someone who has been there and understands the sort of comforting words that are helpful. The readings are a good length to reflect on. I think I would rather write in another journal than use the space in this book but there is journaling space for those who would like to use it. There is also an elastic band on the book and a ribbon that could be used as a page marker.
I received a copy of this book from The Good Book Company. All opinions within this review are my own.
November 26, 2025
Could not recommend this devotional enough for anyone walking through this season — the daily devotions and Scripture pairings are so intentional, compassionate, and raw, offering a non-judging tone without skimping on hard truths. I believe it serves as the perfect transitional reading plan for when you may not feel ready to jump back into whatever you were reading before your loss. The reflection questions and calls to response pair perfectly with the Scriptures and encourage you to dig deeper. The version for husbands, called Ours, is also amazing, and my husband and I now keep several copies of each on our shelf to give away. 🤍
TW: Some chapters in the book are very hard to read and may feel too sudden for those freshly coming out of loss. I’d recommend reading it at your own pace and taking breaks as needed. For reference, I read this nearly a year after experiencing my MC.
TW: Some chapters in the book are very hard to read and may feel too sudden for those freshly coming out of loss. I’d recommend reading it at your own pace and taking breaks as needed. For reference, I read this nearly a year after experiencing my MC.
September 8, 2020
In this gentle, life-affirming book, Abbey Wedgeworth shares biblical comfort and hope with other mothers who have experienced miscarriage. She designed this book as a devotional, organizing it around Psalm 139 and going through that chapter verse by verse, with personal reflections about how its comforting messages apply to miscarriage. Each day also includes other Scriptures to read, journaling prompts, and a quotation from a different hymn. She also includes testimonies from other Christians who have experienced miscarriage, spacing these stories throughout the book. These personal stories cover a variety of different experiences and life situations, and also include one testimony from a father's perspective.
Wedgeworth writes with great sensitivity and empathy, and her theological reflections can help women take hold of what they know to be true in Christ, even when their world is collapsing around them. Because of this book's basis in shared beliefs, it is specifically for Christian women, but it is accessible to women who are at different points in their faith, and does not presume a particular level of background with church or the Bible. She writes clearly and well about spiritual and emotional issues, and explores our beliefs about God through the lens of living as a bereaved mother. This book never falls back on meaningless platitudes, sentimentality, or fluffy inspiration, but helps women wrestle through their pain before God.
I appreciate the level of thought and care that went into every element of this book. The devotions are short and simple, remaining accessible no matter a reader's exhaustion or cognitive range at the moment, and a woman can also read the devotions out of order if she wants to, based on whatever topic she most needs at a particular moment. The book is also attractive in its design, with a silky smooth cover, high quality paper, and a lightweight feel that would be perfect for curling up to read this on the couch or in bed. This book reflects the needs of its audience in a unique way, and also provides journaling space for those who want to put their reflections in writing.
This book is a gift to Christian woman who are grieving pregnancy loss. This book is incredibly sensitive and reassuring, sending a message of God's compassionate love without resorting to platitudes or dismissing the reality of suffering. I would recommend this to mothers who have lost babies, and to friends, family members, pastors, and counselors who would benefit from the biblical and personal perspectives that it offers. This is a high-quality resource that will help and encourage Christian women right now and in years to come.
I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Wedgeworth writes with great sensitivity and empathy, and her theological reflections can help women take hold of what they know to be true in Christ, even when their world is collapsing around them. Because of this book's basis in shared beliefs, it is specifically for Christian women, but it is accessible to women who are at different points in their faith, and does not presume a particular level of background with church or the Bible. She writes clearly and well about spiritual and emotional issues, and explores our beliefs about God through the lens of living as a bereaved mother. This book never falls back on meaningless platitudes, sentimentality, or fluffy inspiration, but helps women wrestle through their pain before God.
I appreciate the level of thought and care that went into every element of this book. The devotions are short and simple, remaining accessible no matter a reader's exhaustion or cognitive range at the moment, and a woman can also read the devotions out of order if she wants to, based on whatever topic she most needs at a particular moment. The book is also attractive in its design, with a silky smooth cover, high quality paper, and a lightweight feel that would be perfect for curling up to read this on the couch or in bed. This book reflects the needs of its audience in a unique way, and also provides journaling space for those who want to put their reflections in writing.
This book is a gift to Christian woman who are grieving pregnancy loss. This book is incredibly sensitive and reassuring, sending a message of God's compassionate love without resorting to platitudes or dismissing the reality of suffering. I would recommend this to mothers who have lost babies, and to friends, family members, pastors, and counselors who would benefit from the biblical and personal perspectives that it offers. This is a high-quality resource that will help and encourage Christian women right now and in years to come.
I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
January 24, 2025
Christ is enough. That is the foremost theme through this book, and it is exactly what every mother needs to hear after losing her child.
I am so glad there is a book aimed towards the dads, as well. A man goes through a lot with miscarriage, and sometimes his peers and men around him don’t know how to offer comfort or encouragement. The mens book “Ours” says: “…[after the miscarriage] most men simply gave either a greeting or a handshake, engaging in conversation as though nothing had happened…Few, if any, asked how I was.” But how does the chapter end? It points the father to Jesus. These books always come back to Christ and the Comforter, the Holy Spirit, within us. People may, and will, fail. Christ will never fail us.
“Held” says: “God does not require that we put our desires to death. Fatalism and hopelessness have no place in the heart of a person with a worldview shaped by God‘s word; we know that God is making all things new and is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think. But our longings becoming realities cannot be our ultimate hope. That must rest in the character and promises of God, which never disappoint.”
Reading this I went through sporadic moments when my brain would yell “Enough! I’m done reading this! I don’t want to think about my children being gone anymore!” or maybe something like “God has a plan, but why didn’t He just change His mind?” And then I’d read a few more paragraphs and, like it could hear my thoughts, the book would answer - by pointing to the Bible. I so appreciated the heavy reliance on straight Scripture and the never ending reminders that He is always only good.
Highly recommend having a copy to give out if anyone you know ever suffers a loss.
I am so glad there is a book aimed towards the dads, as well. A man goes through a lot with miscarriage, and sometimes his peers and men around him don’t know how to offer comfort or encouragement. The mens book “Ours” says: “…[after the miscarriage] most men simply gave either a greeting or a handshake, engaging in conversation as though nothing had happened…Few, if any, asked how I was.” But how does the chapter end? It points the father to Jesus. These books always come back to Christ and the Comforter, the Holy Spirit, within us. People may, and will, fail. Christ will never fail us.
“Held” says: “God does not require that we put our desires to death. Fatalism and hopelessness have no place in the heart of a person with a worldview shaped by God‘s word; we know that God is making all things new and is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think. But our longings becoming realities cannot be our ultimate hope. That must rest in the character and promises of God, which never disappoint.”
Reading this I went through sporadic moments when my brain would yell “Enough! I’m done reading this! I don’t want to think about my children being gone anymore!” or maybe something like “God has a plan, but why didn’t He just change His mind?” And then I’d read a few more paragraphs and, like it could hear my thoughts, the book would answer - by pointing to the Bible. I so appreciated the heavy reliance on straight Scripture and the never ending reminders that He is always only good.
Highly recommend having a copy to give out if anyone you know ever suffers a loss.
June 10, 2021
This was great. I initially got this to send to a friend who recently suffered a loss. But as I decided to read it before sending it on. It has been 3 years since my last miscarriage, and even though I wish I had this right after my miscarriages, I still got something out of this book.
I love that the author intertwined other peoples stories of loss with the devotional and scripture reading. Though I didn’t do the journaling portion, I love that aspect as well.
If you are suffering a lose, have suffered or even if you want to help understand lose, this is a great book.
“Prayer will make a difference in your suffering, even if it doesn’t make a difference in your circumstances, because it will undoubtedly make a difference in you.”
“You may long to feel strong, capable, and unencumbered by sadness after a miscarriage – you may want to be out of this season and on to another – but the value of suffering is discovered in the midst of it as well as after it, for it is while we are walking through it that are frailty and weakness can convince us of our need for God‘s power and sufficiency.”
I love that the author intertwined other peoples stories of loss with the devotional and scripture reading. Though I didn’t do the journaling portion, I love that aspect as well.
If you are suffering a lose, have suffered or even if you want to help understand lose, this is a great book.
“Prayer will make a difference in your suffering, even if it doesn’t make a difference in your circumstances, because it will undoubtedly make a difference in you.”
“You may long to feel strong, capable, and unencumbered by sadness after a miscarriage – you may want to be out of this season and on to another – but the value of suffering is discovered in the midst of it as well as after it, for it is while we are walking through it that are frailty and weakness can convince us of our need for God‘s power and sufficiency.”
December 11, 2020
A wonderful book for anyone who has experienced a miscarriage, but also so much encouragement and wisdom for anyone who grieves. The author is gentle and kind, yet faithful to challenge the reader to remember the truths of scripture. This will be a book I give to anyone I know who suffers the great loss and pain of the death of a much loved child.
"This God is not simply a God who looks upon you, your trouble or your thoughts, but he is a God who looks after you"
"But we must remind our grieving, protesting hearts on those days - which are not as we imagined they would be - that they are in fact as they should be, because there is no better place for us than within the will of God"
"This God is not simply a God who looks upon you, your trouble or your thoughts, but he is a God who looks after you"
"But we must remind our grieving, protesting hearts on those days - which are not as we imagined they would be - that they are in fact as they should be, because there is no better place for us than within the will of God"
January 24, 2024
“The rest of the world keeps spinning as if nothing has happened, like a carousel we’re too dizzy to ride but can’t seem to get off. It is precisely in that place that the presence and promises of God become so sweet.”
This book is a light in a dark place. I have watched so many walk the road of pregnancy loss and turn away from God in their grief. When I faced loss of my own, this book helped me press into the Lord instead of pulling away. This book made the lonely road of miscarriage seem a lot less empty & I am grateful for the author’s (and all the contributors’)willingness to walk alongside the reader in her loss. Thanks to all for sharing so vulnerably.
I pray that none of my friends would ever need a book like this. But I am glad to have this resource for myself and for others who might walk this road.
July 29, 2020
The best Christian resource I’ve come across for women experiencing the grief of pregnancy loss. This book takes the reader through Psalm 139 and addresses so many of the questions grieving mothers ask, think, or wonder to themselves about God when they are in the midst of such loss. Abbey points the reader to the Word to find the gentle, loving, and wise Savior who empathizes with our loss and truly sees. I have felt encouraged each day of this devotional to lament the death of our children, while also remembering the character of God. I can’t recommend it enough. I plan to order another copy to give away as needed.
March 8, 2022
I’m so thankful for this devotional during this season. While I didn’t always agree with the theologies expressed, and at times even found some of them to be painful to read, the love and compassion and overarching messages were a gift to receive. More than anything, reading words of Abbey and contributors of their losses and feeling so seen and validated through this devotional has deeply ministered to me in my grief, and I’m so thankful for that.
November 27, 2022
I can’t recommend this book enough. Next to the Bible, this book is a must have for any woman that has walked through the pain of miscarriage. I’ll be buying and keeping a few copies to give to those in need. In addition to the book, Abbey has a companion podcast that dives deeper into some of then more complex topics of miscarriage. Definitely recommend both!
June 30, 2023
This devotional was amazing. Abbey put into words the feelings I could not put into words myself while I was in the midst of shock, grief, and confusion. I love how Abbey continually points to God, but is also real and raw with the true emotions she felt while going through her miscarriage. She truly shows believers why we can grieve with hope. I will not hesitate to recommend this book to others experiencing a miscarriage.
April 17, 2025
Wow. Highly recommend for anyone walking through miscarriage & and the loss of a child. Such incredible truth and encouragement presented in a life-giving and gentle way pointing you back to Christ the entire time. These words have been my lifeline in this season.
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