The Mom I Want to Be: Rising Above Your Past to Give Your Kids a Great Future

by T. Suzanne Eller

A woman's experience as a mother is influenced by the mothering she received as a child. If neglect was a part of that upbringing, the woman who holds a newborn and faces the responsibility of parenting needs a healthy vision of motherhood. T. Suzanne Eller compassionately discusses how a woman can turn from a painful past and embrace a godly example of motherhood. She shares This is a celebration of God's healing power and how all women can become the mom they want to be.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

224 pages, Paperback

First published July 1, 2006

Reviews

[Leila Chandler · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not bad, but not what I expected. I thought it would be mostly about parenting, but about 3/4 of it is actually about healing yourself from past trauma and learning to forgive so you can move on.

[Renee K · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is not exactly what I thought it was when I got it. I thought this book would be about not carrying on unhealthy patterns from our childhood into our parenting...and it is about that...but on a higher severity level than I was looking for initially. The author of this book experienced a high amount of chronic abuse and neglect in her childhood. The first 3/4 of the book has stories from the author's mom and examples from the author, then moved to specific areas to address for healing the past. Each chapter has several questions to help the reader process the contents as it applies to their own past and identify what they could be doing to move forward.
The last part of the book was worth the read and I would have loved for that part to be longer and more detailed in how to start some of the recommendations. Specifically, I would have loved more how-to's or tips or something in how to remember to be encouraging in speech as opposed to critical with my kids.
I do think the lessons throughout the book are transferable for any mom...it was just harder for me to connect with some of the stories, until the end when the author talks about a few regrettable things she did as a mom.
The chapter questions were helpful, but since this was borrowed from the library, I did more reflection than writing.
Overall, the story of the author and her mother that is interwoven throughout the book gives a great message of the power of God's grace and how there is nothing we can't overcome through Him.

[A.C. Bauch · Rating 4 out of 5]

If I could, I'd give think book 4.5 stars. I felt the book offered an effective balance of the author's sharing of her own experiences with a more objective exploration of the issues. So part biography (her mother's contributions from her life are often gripping, and that journey is worthy of an entire book of its own), part memoir, part parenting book, part self-improvement book.

Eller covers a lot of territory without overwhelming the reader, which can be challenging when helping readers delve into deep, often painful issues like growing up in a dysfunctional family. And even though this book is geared toward mothers, I think any woman who is struggling to deal with her past--especially as that past pertains to her family--could benefit from reading this book. For me, the sections on forgiveness alone made the book a useful read.

[Regina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I had this book 20 years ago. I'll be doing the study with the women at my church during the summer.

[Shawn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Children do not come with manuals....but this is one book every parent should read! Even if your childhood was relatively "normal" - there are a lot of helpful truths to reflect on in this book.

[Sheri · Rating 2 out of 5]

I suggest Shame-Free Parenting as a better alternative to this book. Or even Breaking Free by Beth Moore. There was nothing new in this one for me, & honestly I got tired of it & quit reading.

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book left me with a lot to consider about my own childhood, and how I parent as a result. It was well-written, thorough, and I liked the workbook format at the end of each chapter.