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Queerfully and Wonderfully Made Guides #1
Queerfully and Wonderfully Made: A Guide for LGBTQ+ Christian Teens
Are you LGBTQ+? Not sure? Whether you're queer or questioning, understanding sexuality and gender identity can be confusing. And if you're a Christian, questions of identity can be even scarier. Is there something wrong with you? Will your friends accept you? When should you tell your family? What about church?
Queerfully and Wonderfully Made: A Guide for LGBTQ+ Christian Teens has answers to all these questions and more. You'll get insight and support from an amazing group of LGBTQ+ professionals, as well as testimonies from young adult queer Christians who've recently been exactly where you are. You'll walk away with a lot of answers, prepared with tools to help. But most importantly, you'll hear the good news: God loves you exactly as you are. No matter your identity or where in your journey of self-discovery you find yourself, you got this.
264 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 25, 2020
18 people are currently reading
239 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
September 3, 2020
4.5, really well done. Practical, level-headed, loving advice for teens. Solid advice for things like sex (nothing explicit: focuses on consent and being safe), dating, dating apps, drugs (basically, don’t), drinking (also avoid/be careful), mental health, internet safety, harassment, and more. It’s not designed to be a be-all, end-all, more like a thorough introduction (which it is) for a wide range of kids in a wide range of circumstances who are a wide range of different kinds of queer. There’s tons of useful backmatter for further reading and research.
I definitely appreciate how the book makes no bones about stuff. It flat-out says that if someone is trying to tell you that the way God made you is wrong, sinful, or bad, they are mistaken and you should not listen, even if it’s a parent, teacher, or priest. They don’t vilify these people, they just state facts. They also give a lot of stats about how things are improving in society (including American Christian society) and tips for managing life right now if things are rough (and they cover varying degrees of “rough”). They also don’t beat about the bush regarding conversion therapy: all of it, any kind, is dangerous and to be avoided if at all possible (which is backed by science).
I wouldn’t have minded more about being asexual, though there was a chunk about it in the backmatter for further reading in addition to a little section of a chapter. They do explain how being ace is different from being celibate, which is good. So this is a minor quibble.
The one thing that was left out that I thought was interesting was “how to deal with queer people or supposed queer allies who think you can’t be queer and Christian?” I’ve been challenged in a low-key way about this, with people acting like I’m a traitor or I’m having my cake and eating it too or something. It’s another minor quibble. Overall it’s very thorough, as I said.
The tone is comfortable without trying too hard. It won’t quickly date itself with awkward slang, and doesn’t pretend to not be written by adults. But it’s NOT patronizing and it definitely respects its audience. The chapters are split into smaller sections and are easy to flip through: it’s an easy book to read and navigate, which makes it very accessible.
A very recommended purchase for collections for kids age 13-25 or so (though it’s marketed to teens and assumes the readers are in high school, I think college-aged kids would find it useful, too).
I definitely appreciate how the book makes no bones about stuff. It flat-out says that if someone is trying to tell you that the way God made you is wrong, sinful, or bad, they are mistaken and you should not listen, even if it’s a parent, teacher, or priest. They don’t vilify these people, they just state facts. They also give a lot of stats about how things are improving in society (including American Christian society) and tips for managing life right now if things are rough (and they cover varying degrees of “rough”). They also don’t beat about the bush regarding conversion therapy: all of it, any kind, is dangerous and to be avoided if at all possible (which is backed by science).
I wouldn’t have minded more about being asexual, though there was a chunk about it in the backmatter for further reading in addition to a little section of a chapter. They do explain how being ace is different from being celibate, which is good. So this is a minor quibble.
The one thing that was left out that I thought was interesting was “how to deal with queer people or supposed queer allies who think you can’t be queer and Christian?” I’ve been challenged in a low-key way about this, with people acting like I’m a traitor or I’m having my cake and eating it too or something. It’s another minor quibble. Overall it’s very thorough, as I said.
The tone is comfortable without trying too hard. It won’t quickly date itself with awkward slang, and doesn’t pretend to not be written by adults. But it’s NOT patronizing and it definitely respects its audience. The chapters are split into smaller sections and are easy to flip through: it’s an easy book to read and navigate, which makes it very accessible.
A very recommended purchase for collections for kids age 13-25 or so (though it’s marketed to teens and assumes the readers are in high school, I think college-aged kids would find it useful, too).
September 18, 2021
Complete rubbish. There is so much wrong that I can't even write it all in this review.
pgs 144-154, 207 it's 11 pages on how to have queer sex. pgs 176-190, is 16 pages on how to be queer online.
The back cover says "whether queer or questioning". BUT, this book is ONLY about affirming queerness, NOT understanding Christ or questioning your feelings.
Page 32 “God is the one who made you queer let no one convince you otherwise. … Don't try to change yourself instead change your theology.”
Page 41 “Opening the door to the possibility that you might grow out of your LGBTQ+ identity has the potential to do real damage.”
Pg 133 "What if I want to change? Dear one, we would ask you gently, Why do you want to change? ...If you're thinking anything like this, we need you to know the voices in your head telling you to change is not God's voice."
It implies that it will help you if you are questioning your sexual preferences, but is actually saying "Why question it?" And don't listen to anyone who asks you too.
Deceptive title. In no way does that help you understand your Christian faith. It does not provide biblical examples to support the thesis that the Bible promotes or accepts queerness, other than continual repeating of "God made you this way", which is not biblical. If we are to use this as a guideline why does the Jesus Christ tell us to repent? Of course we come to Him as we are, all sinners, and he tells us to repent and seek God's will, not our own. To repent means to turn away from our sin, all kinds of sin and embrace God's will. This book repeatedly says not to even question your actions.
pgs 144-154, 207 it's 11 pages on how to have queer sex. pgs 176-190, is 16 pages on how to be queer online.
The back cover says "whether queer or questioning". BUT, this book is ONLY about affirming queerness, NOT understanding Christ or questioning your feelings.
Page 32 “God is the one who made you queer let no one convince you otherwise. … Don't try to change yourself instead change your theology.”
Page 41 “Opening the door to the possibility that you might grow out of your LGBTQ+ identity has the potential to do real damage.”
Pg 133 "What if I want to change? Dear one, we would ask you gently, Why do you want to change? ...If you're thinking anything like this, we need you to know the voices in your head telling you to change is not God's voice."
It implies that it will help you if you are questioning your sexual preferences, but is actually saying "Why question it?" And don't listen to anyone who asks you too.
Deceptive title. In no way does that help you understand your Christian faith. It does not provide biblical examples to support the thesis that the Bible promotes or accepts queerness, other than continual repeating of "God made you this way", which is not biblical. If we are to use this as a guideline why does the Jesus Christ tell us to repent? Of course we come to Him as we are, all sinners, and he tells us to repent and seek God's will, not our own. To repent means to turn away from our sin, all kinds of sin and embrace God's will. This book repeatedly says not to even question your actions.
December 9, 2020
My church book group read this and it led to great conversations about how we can be better advocates and allies for our youth and the LGTBQ+ community. I highly recommend it!
July 22, 2022
The thought behind it had well intentions. There's some general good affirming stuff in there, but for the most part it doesn't really have much to do with your Christian faith, just about being queer. Also there are a lot of statistics in there that were never backed up /sourced so I'm not sure how believable they are. It's a pretty good book in terms of figuring out what to do now that you figured out that your queer but beyond that there's really nothing, I would give this to somebody who wasn't Christian and I feel like they would not feel as if it were religious other than a few references to God.
August 4, 2025
DNF. The concept for this book is a great one and much needed, especially now in 2025 as it feels like we are regressing in the US. But between typos and misprints and repeating itself quite often (beyond just driving a point home), I felt that this could have been executed much better.
I also saw someone mention in a review that it would be much better if they had included scriptural rebuttals to common anti-queer rhetoric. It is true that being queer is normal and God loves queer Christians just the same but that argument only gets you so far with those who don't believe that.
I was super excited to see this in my local library so needless to say I'm disappointed because it was not what I was expecting or what I thought it should be.
I also saw someone mention in a review that it would be much better if they had included scriptural rebuttals to common anti-queer rhetoric. It is true that being queer is normal and God loves queer Christians just the same but that argument only gets you so far with those who don't believe that.
I was super excited to see this in my local library so needless to say I'm disappointed because it was not what I was expecting or what I thought it should be.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 8, 2021
I really enjoyed this book! Each chapter is a topic, framed as a question an LGBTQIA+ teen might ask (or the questions the adults who love them wish they would ask). And the unrelenting YOU ARE BELOVED OF GOD repetition is so helpful! I bought 2 additional copies to give away, and will read the companion volume for adults who work with and love their queer teens next!
January 1, 2021
Clear & informative covering a holistic range of guidance and information. Personally, I would have liked some more places showing the intersection of faith and sexuality. I am however very happy that this guide exists!
February 13, 2021
Excellent resource! Will be a mainstay on my office bookshelf.
December 22, 2021
This book seemed cool when I started to skim through it, but the more I read the less "Christian" it seemed. This could easily be a secular book if they took out the few references to God/church.
Problems I had with this book:
- Constantly using the word "queer" without acknowledging it has historically been used as a slur
- Nothing about the typical Christian/Biblical arguments against same-sex relationships and how to refute them
- Implies that pornography and premarital sex are perfectly fine if done "responsibly"
- Saying that Joan of Arc was queer because she dressed as a man (insert big eyeroll here...clothing and "not being girly enough" should not define someone's gender/sexuality)
- Overall rather flippant about bad things that could happen - "yeah your church might not be accepting and conversion therapy is a thing, but in most cases it's perfectly fine to come out" (not a direct quote, just my own summary)
- Hardly anything about asexual people, and a very clinical definition of asexuality - "Basically, asexuals don't have hormonal, chemical, or physical interest in sex, and if that sounds like you, then read more on asexuality. It might be you forever, or for now, or never." (pp. 209-210) So, first it makes asexuality sound like a physical disease/deformity, and then implies it's often a phase. Yuck. Side note, someone should really write a book about asexuality and Christianity. I'd love to read an in-depth exploration of that.
I think this is a decent book to have in a public library or school library for kids/teens who are exploring their identity, but I wouldn't personally recommend it.
Problems I had with this book:
- Constantly using the word "queer" without acknowledging it has historically been used as a slur
- Nothing about the typical Christian/Biblical arguments against same-sex relationships and how to refute them
- Implies that pornography and premarital sex are perfectly fine if done "responsibly"
- Saying that Joan of Arc was queer because she dressed as a man (insert big eyeroll here...clothing and "not being girly enough" should not define someone's gender/sexuality)
- Overall rather flippant about bad things that could happen - "yeah your church might not be accepting and conversion therapy is a thing, but in most cases it's perfectly fine to come out" (not a direct quote, just my own summary)
- Hardly anything about asexual people, and a very clinical definition of asexuality - "Basically, asexuals don't have hormonal, chemical, or physical interest in sex, and if that sounds like you, then read more on asexuality. It might be you forever, or for now, or never." (pp. 209-210) So, first it makes asexuality sound like a physical disease/deformity, and then implies it's often a phase. Yuck. Side note, someone should really write a book about asexuality and Christianity. I'd love to read an in-depth exploration of that.
I think this is a decent book to have in a public library or school library for kids/teens who are exploring their identity, but I wouldn't personally recommend it.
September 23, 2021
This book seriously annoyed me. I consider myself a Christian and have studied religion in general for decades. I have certifications and alumni credits and past church credentials galore . All this book said to me was that if you are a teen who is anything other than heterosexual, God loves you and accepts you as He created you . Of course, that sounds AMAZING! However, the message also encourages you to walk away from any figure/person in your life who does not 100% support you . The FACT that this book quotes scripture only a handful of times does not make it a Christian resource to me. I felt sad reading it as I truly wanted to recommend it to a teen who is questioning their sexuality and has questions about their faith in regards to it. I do thank God that I read it before recommending it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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August 31, 2022Was looking for a good book on queerness for some queer Christian kids I work with so they don’t get all their information from goddamn tiktok and I’m delighted I found this one! Admittedly, I only skim read it, mostly to make sure that the values of the book aligned with their home churches (reconciling UMCs) in ways that would not alienate them and from what I read, this will be just about perfect. It’s written in a very friendly and affirming tone but does not try to be too down with the youth. Very much appreciated that it did not rely on an overuse of current pop culture figures and franchises to be relatable as books that do age rather quickly. I think this one will stand up well. (I loved the mix of old and new in the LGBTQ alphabet interlude — it was very sweet.)
Also appreciate that it did not shy away from frank discussions of sex — mainline protestant churches, no matter how affirming or progressive, tend to get a bit tetchy when you acknowledge that abstinence only education does not work. This book’s frank discussion of sex, what to expect, how to prepare for it (emotionally and physically), and the ways you can experience sex for the first time were very refreshing after my years in the trenches of headass protestant churches who refuse to acknowledge the realities of sex and teenagers (or, really, sex at any age for any reason other than procreation.)
And of course, addressing the core of the book, queerness and Christianity — I think it did a great job of going through the reality of being a queer teen and going to a Christian church, which is that very often coming out may not go well, and even if it does go well, people may still be Really Weird But In An Affirming Way about your gender or sexuality due to your age. I very much appreciate that it gave the teens a script to follow for questions or situations they may find themselves answering or in about their gender or sexuality that they find uncomfortable or do not want to answer — it’s one thing to say, you don’t have to answer, and another to give actual ways to verbally shut down uncomfortable or inappropriate questions and conversations. I appreciated that a lot. I think some of the parts about questioning your identity and exploring it were a little hokey but maybe that’s because I’m terminally online and suffer “adult who spends too much time on twitter” brainrot. I’d rather the author be gently affirming and encouraging rather than not acknowledge that questioning is a part of the process (and a life long one at that!)
This review is a bit off the cuff and mostly so I can organize my thoughts, so I apologize for the length. Great, accessible, friendly book. I’ll be making it available to the teens I work with for sure.
Also appreciate that it did not shy away from frank discussions of sex — mainline protestant churches, no matter how affirming or progressive, tend to get a bit tetchy when you acknowledge that abstinence only education does not work. This book’s frank discussion of sex, what to expect, how to prepare for it (emotionally and physically), and the ways you can experience sex for the first time were very refreshing after my years in the trenches of headass protestant churches who refuse to acknowledge the realities of sex and teenagers (or, really, sex at any age for any reason other than procreation.)
And of course, addressing the core of the book, queerness and Christianity — I think it did a great job of going through the reality of being a queer teen and going to a Christian church, which is that very often coming out may not go well, and even if it does go well, people may still be Really Weird But In An Affirming Way about your gender or sexuality due to your age. I very much appreciate that it gave the teens a script to follow for questions or situations they may find themselves answering or in about their gender or sexuality that they find uncomfortable or do not want to answer — it’s one thing to say, you don’t have to answer, and another to give actual ways to verbally shut down uncomfortable or inappropriate questions and conversations. I appreciated that a lot. I think some of the parts about questioning your identity and exploring it were a little hokey but maybe that’s because I’m terminally online and suffer “adult who spends too much time on twitter” brainrot. I’d rather the author be gently affirming and encouraging rather than not acknowledge that questioning is a part of the process (and a life long one at that!)
This review is a bit off the cuff and mostly so I can organize my thoughts, so I apologize for the length. Great, accessible, friendly book. I’ll be making it available to the teens I work with for sure.
June 18, 2023
Pros: This is an important topic for a book to have, and there are precious few options out there! It's explicitly aimed at Christian teens/young adults, and covers a variety of topics, including:
While the book isn't sex ed, it does address some topics that are related--and knowing that many people (Christian or not) don't hear this talked about, that's important.
It takes a very matter-of-fact stance, and is completely, unapologetically affirming. This sort of thing can be a lifeline.
Cons: It will not help much, however, if the reader is looking for reasoning or scriptural help. There are a few references (no male and female in Christ, for instance), but this will not help a reader who is wrestling with the concept of being an affirming Christian. And unfortunately, I think that could include a lot of people in the potential audience.
That doesn't mean it's bad--as I said, I think it's an important topic, and for many people just seeing a book whose approach is "of course you can be queer and Christian and there's no problem" is going to be revolutionary. But to me it felt like like it barely touched, or skimmed by, some of the biggest problems (theological) a queer or questioning young Christian can run into, without acknowledging that it was doing so. (I specify that because it's perfectly fine to have a book that's like "we're just going to approach this from the perspective that it's fine and we're not going to get into any counter-arguments," but I would expect those topics addressed in a book that specifically targets a religious audience unless it states otherwise, which it didn't.)
Bottom line: Excellent for broaching specific topics for young adults, including scripts for some potentially-uncomfortable situations, and unapologetically affirms queer Christians' existence. Not recommended for people (including teens) whose struggles or questions are more theological than practical, however. (Could be a good book to read/use in tandem with one that does focus on theological questions, if needed.)
-Can I be queer and Christian?
-Should I come out in [multiple different settings]?
-You don't have to come out
-What is church people/pastor/family react badly/are bigoted/etc.?
-What if I'm horny?
-How to be online
-How do queer people have sex?
-Does it get better?
While the book isn't sex ed, it does address some topics that are related--and knowing that many people (Christian or not) don't hear this talked about, that's important.
It takes a very matter-of-fact stance, and is completely, unapologetically affirming. This sort of thing can be a lifeline.
Cons: It will not help much, however, if the reader is looking for reasoning or scriptural help. There are a few references (no male and female in Christ, for instance), but this will not help a reader who is wrestling with the concept of being an affirming Christian. And unfortunately, I think that could include a lot of people in the potential audience.
That doesn't mean it's bad--as I said, I think it's an important topic, and for many people just seeing a book whose approach is "of course you can be queer and Christian and there's no problem" is going to be revolutionary. But to me it felt like like it barely touched, or skimmed by, some of the biggest problems (theological) a queer or questioning young Christian can run into, without acknowledging that it was doing so. (I specify that because it's perfectly fine to have a book that's like "we're just going to approach this from the perspective that it's fine and we're not going to get into any counter-arguments," but I would expect those topics addressed in a book that specifically targets a religious audience unless it states otherwise, which it didn't.)
Bottom line: Excellent for broaching specific topics for young adults, including scripts for some potentially-uncomfortable situations, and unapologetically affirms queer Christians' existence. Not recommended for people (including teens) whose struggles or questions are more theological than practical, however. (Could be a good book to read/use in tandem with one that does focus on theological questions, if needed.)
June 27, 2022
Subtitled "A Guide for LGBTQ+ Christian Teens" this worthwhile book is full of useful information for guiding LGBTQ+ teens over the pitfalls they face in their lives. Human sexuality and gender issues are getting more and more complex, or perhaps they've always been complex and we've recently been allowed to openly talk about it. The glossary in this book includes twelve different types of gender, or different gender terms. Many LGBTQ+ people are not welcome in some Christian churches and organizations but it's difficult to imagine Jesus not welcoming them.
Other congregations and denominations including the congregation and denomination I'm a part of are thankfully welcoming LGBTQ+ teens. This title deals with any concerns facing LGBTQ+ teens, including how to tell others, family, church, school, who you are...or not tell them, conversion therapy and why it doesn't work, bathroom use, sexual intimacy, pornography, and other concerns. The forward is written by Jennifer Knapp, a former evangelical singer, with some great music to her credit, who was rejected by her church when she was honest about her gender status. If you know a LGBTQ+ teen trying to stay connected to Christianity, this book might be very helpful.
Other congregations and denominations including the congregation and denomination I'm a part of are thankfully welcoming LGBTQ+ teens. This title deals with any concerns facing LGBTQ+ teens, including how to tell others, family, church, school, who you are...or not tell them, conversion therapy and why it doesn't work, bathroom use, sexual intimacy, pornography, and other concerns. The forward is written by Jennifer Knapp, a former evangelical singer, with some great music to her credit, who was rejected by her church when she was honest about her gender status. If you know a LGBTQ+ teen trying to stay connected to Christianity, this book might be very helpful.
April 13, 2021
This was such a great book, and I wish I had something like this when I was a teen. The language this book uses is gentle, loving, and affirming, which I think is something that a lot of queer teens need. I know this is a guide for Christian LGBTQ+ teens, but I honestly think this is a great resource for queer teens in general. There are enough LGBTQ+ topics here that are important for the whole community that I would recommend any queer teen take a look if they have questions. It's nice knowing that no matter what section they decide to read they will have an informative and affirming voice giving them the information they need, while celebrating their queerness. I cannot recommend this resource enough!
July 13, 2025
This book caught my eye in a Burlington, VT bookstore over a year ago and I had some free time and it was available at the library so I figured I would read it. I am not the target audience but was curious. For being marketed as a book for Christians there were almost zero cohesive arguments made throughout and only a handful of verses that were taken wildly out of context. It had a lot of statistics but none of them were sourced in any way which made me laugh considering one of the points was “don’t trust what you read”. There was also a large amount of “if somebody disagrees with you, cut them out of your life” which is a very immature way to deal with issues. Not a fan of the book, would not recommend, but I read the whole thing so I can say it with confidence.
July 15, 2021
What I liked about this collection of essays and stories was that it gave so many great basic breakdowns around coming out safely, finding community and advocating for yourself, and creating plans around finding a safe place if things don't go well.
It didn't go very in depth into the theology part, and truthfully that's likely better in a separate book. There were verses sprinkled throughout, which I appreciated because it wasn't bogging the reader down while still driving home the message.
The main takeaway is: if you are able to come out and express safely, do it! If you are not able to come out, please wait until it is safe to do so.
It didn't go very in depth into the theology part, and truthfully that's likely better in a separate book. There were verses sprinkled throughout, which I appreciated because it wasn't bogging the reader down while still driving home the message.
The main takeaway is: if you are able to come out and express safely, do it! If you are not able to come out, please wait until it is safe to do so.
July 6, 2025
As a straight Christian adult, I’m not the target audience here, but I’m always looking for resources for my students. This definitely isn’t age appropriate for middle schoolers (but I would LOVE a version of this for middle schoolers), but I think this would be great for high schoolers. The writing is a little too “hello-fellow-kids” for my tastes, and I think it might be a little alienating to Side B kids (I’m Side A, but I think a lot of queer Christian teens might find Side B as a soft place to land while they sort out their feelings, and I wish this book hadn’t dismissed celibacy). Regardless, we need more books like this.
November 21, 2020
An amazing book written to help teens who are LGBTQIA+ and Christian. A perfect read for anyone that is contemplating coming out, or has just come out. Also makes a perfect book for anyone with a friend or loved one who has just come out. I cannot recommend this book highly enough. God made you as you are, in their image. You were queerfully and wonderfully made, and God doesn't make mistakes. Ten stars.
June 20, 2021
My mom recently edited a book kind of like this one (Listen, Learn, and Love by Richard Ostler), except it was geared towards non-LGBTQIA+ adults and it was specifically about the LDS church (you might know them better as Mormons), so finding this in the local library was an interesting coincidence.
May 19, 2022
the straightforward, safe, and friendly writing style reminded me of some of the american girl (non fiction) content i read back in the day, which i like. also back in that day i was really hungry for this kind of information and i wasn't getting it anywhere especially from a christian perspective and i would've really appreciated this book then.
November 12, 2020
If you know of LGBTQIA+ teens who are struggling with their queerness, especially in how it relates to their church life, I highly recommend this book. I purchased it for the library I work at and leafed through it this evening. It is just beautiful, y’all. 😍
June 17, 2022
This was more Scripture-lite than I'd hoped. Very affirming, but mostly about coming out and safe sex, mental illness, and suicide, than how to refute people who wield the Bible against LGBTQIA+ folks. Still, I wish I could put it in my classroom!
June 18, 2022
Excellent resource. I have never read a book like this and I am so glad it exists in the world. Level headed, never condescending, and realistic. In addition to the book as a whole, the glossary and resources in the back of the book are a wealth of knowledge and guidance.
September 7, 2021
I like how affirming it is but it gets repetitive and makes some large-ish assumptions. I like the resource list. Reads like a handbook for teens (by teens).
September 12, 2021
What a wonderful, life-affirming study and guide for youth of the church.
January 22, 2022
This is a great, interactive guide with current statistics on self-care, mental health, sex, drug-use and more. It takes the approach that information protects teens more than ignorance does.
July 25, 2022
as a queer christian, this book made me feel so seen.
September 6, 2022
It was okay but honestly wasn't too much of a fun read
January 14, 2023
Useful and loving
January 28, 2023
Thoughtfully and intentionally compiled. I’m so glad this book exists and hope all the people who need it can find it.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews