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The Teen's Guide to Face-to-Face Connections in a Screen-to-Screen World: 40 Tips to Meaningful Communication

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Phones can be a great tool for connecting with people outside the room, when they don't interfere with the people inside the room.

You can  dare to be relationally different in a screen-to-screen culture.
 
But. . .honestly, I like my phone. So what should I do?  

You probably enjoy screens but don't want them hurting your relationships with the people who matter most, right?  What if you could improve your face-to-face relationships, develop deeper connections, resolve conflict, and confidently communicate with friends, parents, teachers, roommates, coworkers, potential employers...even the barista at your local coffee shop?
 
What if your phone truly helped you connect with the people more than disconnect with those around you?

What if you paused to think before you posted, avoiding some of the hurt and consequences that almost always lead to regret after?

What if you became a master of your own screen-time instead of letting it master you?
   
What if you became more screen-wise ?
     
40 real-life realizations including. . .
* Your phone doesn't have an UNSEND button.
* Sometimes less is more.
* We all need a digital detox every once in a while.
* Sometimes the people we love the most are the people we ignored all day.
* If you find someone who doesn't look at their phone once during a meal...marry them!
    
Author and youth culture expert, Jonathan McKee, and his daughter Alyssa McKee, uncover forty random realizations they've discovered over the last five years.  Screens provide fun platforms to connect with faraway friends; and sometimes the people we love the most are the people we ignore all day.  Jonathan and Alyssa help young adults navigate face-to-face communication in a screen-to-screen world too!  Maybe they'll help you navigate face-to-face communication in a screen-to-screen world too!

240 pages, Paperback

First published November 1, 2020

12 people are currently reading
441 people want to read

About the author

Jonathan McKee

41 books48 followers
Jonathan McKee is the author of over twenty books including the brand new IF I HAD A PARENTING DO OVER; 52 WAYS TO CONNECT WITH YOUR SMARTPHONE OBSESSED KID; and the Amazon "Best Seller," THE GUY'S GUIDE TO GOD, GIRLS AND THE PHONE IN YOUR POCKET. With over 20 years youth ministry experience, Jonathan speaks to parents and leaders worldwide. You can follow Jonathan on his blog at JonathanMcKeeWrites.com, getting a regular dose of youth culture and parenting help. Jonathan, his wife, Lori, and their three kids live in California.

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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
Profile Image for Michelle Kidwell.
Author 36 books85 followers
December 6, 2020
The Teen's Guide to Face-to-Face Connections in a Screen-to-Screen World
40 Tips to Meaningful Communication
by Jonathan McKee; Alyssa McKee
Barbour Publishing, Inc.
Shiloh Run Press
Christian | Teens & YA
Pub Date 01 Nov 2020


This book is a unique one written by people of two generations, Jonathan is in his forties, Alyssa is in her twenties, for all their differences, they have things in common, like realizing how much screen time they used,




In 2000 a year after SMS were available on cell phones, the average amount of texts that were sent were 35, that’s equivalent to about one a day.



Cell Phones that could replace your computer, iPod, or other devices did not exist until 2007, when Steve Jobs launched the first iPhone. And Social Media did not go mobile until 2012, Instagram launched late in. 2010, but did not become popular until 2012, and Snapchat was released in 2012 as well.


The Teens Guide to Face to Face Connections in A Screen to Screen World reminds us that our conversations become more enjoyable when everyone puts their phone in their pockets, and interacts.



Adults spend an average of eleven hours and twenty seven minutes on screen time while teenagers spend an average of Mine hours and forty nine minutes, leaving very little time for face to face conversations.







The authors remind us that while our mobile devices may be connecting us to those across the country from us or even across the world they are disconnecting us from those in the same room with us, basically to much screen time is making us socially stupid.



We are reminded that more is not always better, that is true with many things including screen time. And on that end in 2018 over ten years after the first IPhone was released, both Apple and Android introduced updates that included the ability to set screen limits because the consumers demanded it.




This books goes on to point out too that sometimes the people who love us the most are the ones we ignored all day. When we take the time away from the screen to really get to understand someone we come to realize that empathy is the gateway to deeper friendships.





It is pointed out too that when Social Media starts to hijack our lives, it is time for us to take a break. And that we can’t unsend or unpost something, because disappearing posts tend to reappear.



This book reminds us too that hiding behind our masks, or screens doesn’t work, because eventually we are going to be exposed.




We are reminded too that screens can become dangerous when they distract us from those we care about. We are reminded too that when we engage in deep conversations and ask second level questions people are more likely to put their phone away so they can engage in the conversation.





It is pointed out too that our posts can affect our future in ways we don’t realize, from destroying friendships, to blocking job opportunities, or even causing you to be fired from your current job. It’s important to be mindful of what you post!




We are reminded too that meals are always better without our screens. It is pointed out that occasional tech free days can be surprisingly refreshing. It is pointed out too that the best way to escape temptations on our screen is to talk honestly about our struggles...It doesn’t matter how uncomfortable.



The Teen's Guide to Face-to-Face Connections in a Screen-to-Screen World points out too that texting is prone to misinterpretation. And the authors go on to point out too that dinner is better when we are focused on the people at our table, not the ones in our palm. This book points out too that texting is not a way to deal with conflict.




This book reminds us too that the irresponsible use of screens can lead to repercussions that burn out of control. It goes on to point out that sometimes when we pull our noses out of our screens we discover we have a relationship right under our noses. And we are reminded that if our device is distracting us from the goals in our lives it is time for a digital detox.





We are reminded too that when we seek a face to face relationship with a wise mentor, it is beneficial to everyone involved.



This book goes on to warn you that it doesn’t matter whether they are nice, friendly, rich or funny if you haven’t met them in person, they are still strangers and it’s a horrible idea to meet them in person, especially alone.



It is pointed out too that phones are like detonators, if you push the wrong button everything will blow up. We are reminded too that Social Media can create a pressurized environment where we allow likes and follows to determine our value.





We are reminded too that phones can create a fun way to connect with friends who live far away.





The Teen's Guide to Face-to-Face Connections in a Screen-to-Screen World reminds us too that life is far to short to leave conflict unresolved. We are reminded too that some apps on our phones can be helpful while others are harmful, we must decide which apps are worth our time. We are reminded too that when we can’t be face to face, screens can be a good way to connect.





It is pointed out too that we should use Holidays as a time to instigate interaction with the entire family, prompting them to put their phones away and interact face to face.




We are reminded too that screens affect your sleep the way that caffeine does, and can cause poor sleeping patterns. It is pointed out too that sometimes the best thing we can do is to just shut up Nd listen to others, ask them how they are doing and take the time to really listen.



I give The Teen's Guide to Face-to-Face Connections in a Screen-to-Screen World, five out of five stars!


Happy Reading!
Profile Image for Joleen.
136 reviews
January 14, 2021
Great small group or Family read!

With 40 tips to read through, each "tip" will take between 5-10 minutes to read plus discussion time. I would suggest one tip a week so people can talk about and "digest" the idea all week. Now, a 40 week small group is a little much, but you can pick and choose topics or you could have people read 4-5 a week at home and then come and discuss which tip meant the most to them and why. The goal would be to help each other apply what they are learning. I feel like reading one tip a day, with teens, isn't going to make the impact that you want because it becomes too much. You want to practice what you've learned. Again...the goal is to APPLY what we are learning. This is a great book to help us open our eyes to what's going on with screen vs face to face. I loved the father/daughter perspectives. Well done!

I read one review that said this was weak on application; I disagree in regards to "Ownership of our decisions." I could tell you to be kind to your sibling by getting them their favorite snack at the store but there is a sense of pride and ownership when you think of something on your own and then do it. Yes, I agree, ideas are great to get us started--sometimes we just have NO idea. And that's where the "ASK YOURSELF OR A FRIEND" section comes in handy. Use these questions to start a discussion. The goal would be that your conversation goes deeper than the 4-6 questions they ask. As Jonathan writes in his first story, "conversation" is what people need and want.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing and was under no obligation to post a review.
Profile Image for Edi.
579 reviews9 followers
December 11, 2020
Great book for both parents and teens to read. Also a good reminder for all adults who are "glued" to their electronic devices. Told by a father and daughter, it gives insight into the similarities and differences of how we use and over use our devices along with the pitfalls,dangers and benefits of electronic communications. It is conversational and will hold your interest. You will also most likely find yourself in a couple of the scenarios presented.
I was provided an Advanced Reader Copy and was under no obligation to provide a review. Many thanks to Barbour Publishing and the authors for allowing me to read this book.
Profile Image for Aimee.
22 reviews
February 25, 2021
Great reminder that no matter how much we rely on screens, technology is supposed to help us, not replace us. The more time we spend on our phones, the less we are actually able to practice socializing. "Too much screen time makes us socially stupid." People would probably like you more if you were on your phone less.
Profile Image for Liz.
32 reviews2 followers
July 10, 2024
Each chapter presents a different topic, and alternates between the parent and young adult child speaking. It feels easy to read and conversational. I am giving it 4 stars because it prompted several conversations between me and my 16 year old. Any book that can get a teen to open up and ask a parent questions is a keeper!
159 reviews2 followers
Want to read
December 9, 2020
Will start reading this soon, just won the book
Profile Image for madeline.
67 reviews
February 16, 2021
This was such an insightful read, I highly enjoyed it & would recommend it to each and every teen, will definitely reread!
Profile Image for Lila Diller.
Author 11 books47 followers
January 5, 2021
I began reading this with my 14-year-old son. He doesn't have his own phone yet. We're still deciding what all to let him have when we get him one. So a lot of the specific examples didn't really apply yet. I use my phone for my home business, which wasn't really addressed. I guess I was hoping for a little more application.

There were some good discussion questions at the end of each chapter (though some were duh questions), but as to steps to take, it was a little weak. And there were some chapters where the story didn't even have anything to do with face-to-face connection, like the one about the dog dying! It was so sad – especially as we happened to read that on the anniversary of our beloved dog's death, not knowing, of course.

Switching back and forth from the voice of the older father to the younger daughter was a bit jarring, too. I personally would have preferred the whole thing from Alyssa's voice with just a few examples brought in from her dad's writing, if necessary.

There were a few good chapters. One especially prompted a completely voluntary confession.

All in all, perhaps good for some discussion but not good for application. For those of us looking for some concrete ideas without going on a year-long social media fast – yes, that was one suggestion though with a disclaimer that it's not the point of this book – this is not for you. For those of you leading groups of teens, this might start some good discussions.

Favorite quotes:
“Screens can be helpful tools, but they become dangerous when they distract us from connecting with the people we love.” (p. 73)

“You probably don't need a psychologist to tell you that when two people spend increasingly less time together because they're buried in their screens, the relationship suffers.” (p. 73)

“You know the conversation has gone too far in text when you start scrolling back to see exactly what was said earlier and then send screenshots of what the other person said.” (p. 118)

All the crazy and hilarious voicemail greetings on p. 162-163: “(In my best movie preview voice) In a world where Alyssa is occupied, one person can leave a message. Beeeeep.” And “(In my best Yoda voice) Leave a message you will. Do, or do not. There is no try. Beeeeep.”

(I received a copy for free from the publisher. I was not compensated for this review. All opinions are my own, as was the decision to write this review.)
Profile Image for Luca.
68 reviews
August 20, 2020
I received this as an ARC on NetGalley

Good:
- engaging chatty voice that made me feel friendly
- used related and key biblical verses which gave us a new interpretation and made me think about the way I relate to the bible in everyday life.
- annecodotes kept the book story like, and made it interesting, not just your average infodump book!

Bad:
- a little repetitive and long for my liking, sometimes it felt like wordcount hitting rater than important information.
- some of the conversation written felt awkward and unnecessary

This is an interesting perspective on screen vs irl communication, from people who felt much more relatable to myself as a teen than the usual book in this style, I was pleasantly surprised by the chatty tone which kept me engaged. The annecodotes throughout also kept me interested and I felt like I learnt about the writers, almost like friends! My bad points for this book are definately not things which would stop me from reading again! I did feel I wanted to skip pages, but I'm glad I didn't and continued to read, it was truly an interesting experience

This book made me consider social media detox again, after I did for Lent this year!

One thing I would say is: I found certain stories triggering to my emetophobia (fear of illness), and also could be triggering for rape and murder mentions.

I would recommend this book to Christian teens, and teens who don't mind mentions of biblical themes but want to learn more about screen connection. Also, to parents who aren't sure how to help their teens with social media.

Overall: 4/5 :)
Profile Image for Leanna.
1 review
April 16, 2021
If you're looking for a book on how to detox from your electronics, this isn't the read for you. However, if you're looking for a more conscientious/purposeful approach to screen time, then this is the book for you (and your child)!!!

It's a great and easy read. It approaches the topics from two relatable perspectives - a father and a daughter. It poses thoughtful and purposeful questions on your feelings about tech and begins a deeper conversation on how you'd like to continue to utilize them. I highly recommend this book to parents and teens looking to navigate the balance of in-person connections vs screen time or on-screen connections.



Disclaimer: I received a complimentary digital copy of this book through a GoodReads Giveaway and was under no obligation to post a review.

Additional Note: I did read this book several months into the pandemic, when in-person connections switched to on-screen connections. But both, book and situation, serves as a reminder that tech can not replace face-to-face interactions.
374 reviews1 follower
October 27, 2020
This is a short and simple book with a very important message. I recommend this kind of book to parents whose children are not very into reading, the ideas are surrounded by a lot of examples and personal stories and everything is simplified so anyone will understand it. Do not expect very scientific facts or very deep thoughts explained, but it will be an excellent tool if you are seeking help to start sharing ideas about the effects of screens in your teen life this can be helpful for you. If you have read a lot about this topic, you won't find a lot of new information, but I can say I enjoyed a lot the idea of a dad and daughter writing together for a good purpose. I´m always telling my children that once it is on the cloud you can´t delete it... this topic is included. I really like the topic of dealing with conflict in person, not texts, videos, or chats, to give the importance the relationship deserves. You can give it as a present, useful tips.
Profile Image for Kate.
1,134 reviews45 followers
September 3, 2020
This conversational novel was a great read! I highly recommend it for any parent who has teens or will in the future. The author talks about the effects of social media and how to navigate it positively. In a world where so many people are so addicted to it, this was refreshing and is so needed! I love how he really makes you question the usefulness of our phones and motivates the reader to use it more for good and less for unnecessary scrolling. There is a big emphasis on the need for person to person contact as the screen-to-screen contact is effecting people more than ever. Finally, I love that the author included scripture verses and spoke of how important it is to unplug for our relationship with others and the Lord. Amazing and thought-provoking book!
802 reviews16 followers
October 26, 2020
I really enjoyed reading this book. It definitely applies to everyone in an age where we are so obsessed with screens. There were so many practical suggestions and I loved how each chapter included some further questions to think about. I also liked how the authors were father and daughter. It is going to give my husband and I a lot to talk about in regards to our screen time and those of our kids!

I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing and was under no obligation to post a review
Profile Image for Katie.
736 reviews3 followers
August 14, 2020
"I received a complimentary copy of this book through NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own."

I loved the intro, it is literally a conversation that has happened at our table multiple times. "Texts used to cost $0.10 a piece" is like our generation's version of I walked a mile to school in the snow.

I like the back and forth introspective from two distinct view points. Overall good content.
Profile Image for TBHONEST.
885 reviews11 followers
August 15, 2020
The Teen's Guide to Face-to-Face Connections in a Screen-to-Screen World is an interesting and informative look at social media. It's a great guide for teens with some really cool hints and tips on how they can improve their own experiences with the world of social media and away from it.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews

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