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Handbook of a Healthy Muslim Marriage - Unlocking the Secrets to Ultimate Bliss
The Handbook of a Healthy Muslim Marriage is the indispensable marriage guide. With a wealth of experience and a warm sympathetic tone, the author Shaykh Abdur-Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera brings the insight of a scholar with thousands of hours of spiritual and marital-counselling practice and Islamic erudition to this crucial subject. Topics range from how to find a partner and dealing with in-laws to developing spousal intimacy and the unfortunate divorce.
- Extremely well thought-out, well-written and easily digestible with its casual tone
- Offers an absolute wealth of anecdotal experiences along with cultural discussions and the necessary legal explanation.
- Provides many real-life experiences and scenarios to make it relatable to each reader, especially in the West.
- Suggests practical solutions to the multiple issues arising in any marriage, especially how to navigate conflict.
- Provides detailed discussions on domestic violence and subjects like infertility and sexual intimacy
- Offers useful suggestions for kindling romance.
- A handy resource for every couple throughout their journey of marriage.
- A potential saver of couples from messing up their lives and making terrible errors they would later regret.
- Contemporary Islamic self-help on marriage at its finest.
- Extremely well thought-out, well-written and easily digestible with its casual tone
- Offers an absolute wealth of anecdotal experiences along with cultural discussions and the necessary legal explanation.
- Provides many real-life experiences and scenarios to make it relatable to each reader, especially in the West.
- Suggests practical solutions to the multiple issues arising in any marriage, especially how to navigate conflict.
- Provides detailed discussions on domestic violence and subjects like infertility and sexual intimacy
- Offers useful suggestions for kindling romance.
- A handy resource for every couple throughout their journey of marriage.
- A potential saver of couples from messing up their lives and making terrible errors they would later regret.
- Contemporary Islamic self-help on marriage at its finest.
264 pages, Paperback
First published August 1, 2019
52 people are currently reading
526 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
January 5, 2020
Handbook of a Healthy Muslim Marriage - My Thoughts and Summary
Even after having spent almost four years in marriage and been blessed with two beautiful daughters, I believe there's still a lot to learn about this complex relationship. And so I ordered this amazingly informative and beneficial book on the subject after reading its table of contents, and Alhamdulilah I found in it exactly what I was looking for: comprehensive advice concerning all aspects of marriage.
The book answers in-depth all important questions concerning the topic, like what's the purpose of marriage in Islam, what to look for in your prospective spouse, issues related to marriage contract and wedding ceremonies (Mehr, jahez, Nikah, Walima, etc.), how to build a successful marital relationship, what are the etiquettes of intimacy, and how to deal with wider family units including your in-laws.
And then there are the last two chapters which for me were the most enlightening, where the author addresses in detail some of the major marital problems, including communication problems, money problems, problems in sexual intimacy, infidelity, infertility, the issue of polygamy, domestic abuse, and finally, divorce.
I got this book shipped directly via WhiteThreadPress.com as it's unfortunately not available in my country. And although the book itself cost only £9.99, I got it for around £20 due to additional shipping costs, but trust me, every spent penny was worth it. This is a priceless book of our times, the likes of which shall be made readily available in all parts of the world, whether Muslim or not. I am forever indebted to the author for sharing his knowledge and wisdom on the topic. May Allah Almighty bless him and his family with the utmost rewards. Ameen.
Even after having spent almost four years in marriage and been blessed with two beautiful daughters, I believe there's still a lot to learn about this complex relationship. And so I ordered this amazingly informative and beneficial book on the subject after reading its table of contents, and Alhamdulilah I found in it exactly what I was looking for: comprehensive advice concerning all aspects of marriage.
The book answers in-depth all important questions concerning the topic, like what's the purpose of marriage in Islam, what to look for in your prospective spouse, issues related to marriage contract and wedding ceremonies (Mehr, jahez, Nikah, Walima, etc.), how to build a successful marital relationship, what are the etiquettes of intimacy, and how to deal with wider family units including your in-laws.
And then there are the last two chapters which for me were the most enlightening, where the author addresses in detail some of the major marital problems, including communication problems, money problems, problems in sexual intimacy, infidelity, infertility, the issue of polygamy, domestic abuse, and finally, divorce.
I got this book shipped directly via WhiteThreadPress.com as it's unfortunately not available in my country. And although the book itself cost only £9.99, I got it for around £20 due to additional shipping costs, but trust me, every spent penny was worth it. This is a priceless book of our times, the likes of which shall be made readily available in all parts of the world, whether Muslim or not. I am forever indebted to the author for sharing his knowledge and wisdom on the topic. May Allah Almighty bless him and his family with the utmost rewards. Ameen.
October 24, 2020
The Healthy Muslim Marriage illustrates a comprehensive while short intro to marriage life. It can be a humbling read for those to be married and also something to garner advice from for those newly weds or already married couples. The author cites the Quran and Sunnah as well as giving example cases of married couples and the difficulties they faced from not applying them.
July 5, 2023
I’m writing this review as a single person and it was very easy to read and super concise. I really liked how the fiqh of marriage was blended in with the practical tips and real life examples both modern and during the time Nabi ﷺ. I would recommend single individuals to read this early because the more time you have to process this advice and ask questions the better. This book has been written so that it can be read multiple times at different points in your marriage (before/during/after) and with your spouse. It’s very straightforward. I would read this book with an open mindset about the the roles of a husband and wife in marriage without allowing western ideas to affect your judgement. I would also read this book with the available videos on ZamZam Academy’s YouTube channel as they add richness to the book with their explanations.
May 17, 2025
Didn’t finish the book cover to cover; left out some parts in between that seemed somewhat trivial.
I really like the book because of its writing style. It’s written in a very easy to follow and “casual” style, almost as if it’s an elder giving you advice.
The content itself is quite comprehensive in nature; a good number of aspects of marriage are discussed, albeit not with TOO much depth either because of the subtopic being simply not important enough or that it being so important that it could not be possibly covered in this short introductory book.
All in all, solid and super approachable read for anyone: 5 stars
I really like the book because of its writing style. It’s written in a very easy to follow and “casual” style, almost as if it’s an elder giving you advice.
The content itself is quite comprehensive in nature; a good number of aspects of marriage are discussed, albeit not with TOO much depth either because of the subtopic being simply not important enough or that it being so important that it could not be possibly covered in this short introductory book.
All in all, solid and super approachable read for anyone: 5 stars
June 2, 2021
Excellent book masha Allah. Defo recommend.
June 11, 2025
I learned stuff about marriage I had no idea about so this is a really nice book. Language is easy to understand. I skipped a couple sections.
September 30, 2020
Very useful book for which ever stage of marriage you are. A little western focused at times.
November 1, 2022
I picked this book up because I wanted a short, but thorough introduction to marriage in Islam. The book did what it was supposed to and I feel like I better understand the idea of marriage under the sanctity of Islam.
If you're unmarried and looking to understand marriage from an Islamic viewpoint, this is a good place to start. With that being said, this book isn't for everyone. If you refuse the idea that Islam mandates gender roles, you'll take offense. If you have had negative experiences in life with men, this book might trigger you. Depending on your level of Islamic knowledge, you will have varying opinions on this book. My 19 year old, 22 year old, and even 25 year old self would have found this book insulting due to my lack of Islamic knowledge and personal trauma, but at 26 I found it to be a door to introspection, contemplation, understanding, and a source of peace for my worries around marriage.
The author uses clear examples from Quran and the Sunnah to explain marriage, the process of it, and the sustainability of it. There is much wisdom in what the author writes that is based on muslim history; no, it is not Islamic law, but there is still good to take from it. At the same time, there are points in the book where you can see the author's bias. There are points of subtle sexism and misogyny when the author includes personal anecdotes.
However, at the very beginning of the book, the author recognizes his own biases and addresses that concern. You will have to go into this book looking objectively too. This book is not a personal threat the way certain feminists might take it. I chose to take the good from this book and I left the bad, as is the advice of many esteemed shuyukh. Alhamdulillah for what I've learned from this book :)
If you're unmarried and looking to understand marriage from an Islamic viewpoint, this is a good place to start. With that being said, this book isn't for everyone. If you refuse the idea that Islam mandates gender roles, you'll take offense. If you have had negative experiences in life with men, this book might trigger you. Depending on your level of Islamic knowledge, you will have varying opinions on this book. My 19 year old, 22 year old, and even 25 year old self would have found this book insulting due to my lack of Islamic knowledge and personal trauma, but at 26 I found it to be a door to introspection, contemplation, understanding, and a source of peace for my worries around marriage.
The author uses clear examples from Quran and the Sunnah to explain marriage, the process of it, and the sustainability of it. There is much wisdom in what the author writes that is based on muslim history; no, it is not Islamic law, but there is still good to take from it. At the same time, there are points in the book where you can see the author's bias. There are points of subtle sexism and misogyny when the author includes personal anecdotes.
However, at the very beginning of the book, the author recognizes his own biases and addresses that concern. You will have to go into this book looking objectively too. This book is not a personal threat the way certain feminists might take it. I chose to take the good from this book and I left the bad, as is the advice of many esteemed shuyukh. Alhamdulillah for what I've learned from this book :)
July 11, 2023
Somewhat decent book however, a book based on upholding a healthy Muslim marriage needs experts from both genders to uphold both perspectives, avoid unnecessary biases and have a well rounded understanding. There is a misogynistic bias about some things in the books especially in the later half that could have been avoided if the book had a female scholar as a co author. Therefore it’s not entirely a well rounded book as it could have been.
March 27, 2024
Not what I expected
May 13, 2025
Must-read
March 3, 2025
Handbook of a Healthy Muslim Marriage is a brilliant book—readable, rational, and thorough. It serves as a comprehensive guide to marriage, addressing all aspects, including setting the right intentions, how to go about finding the right partner, the marriage process, living a fulfilling married life, and navigating through its many challenges. My takeaway is the importance of building a marriage on a strong, God-centered foundation in a world where the sanctity of marriage is often overlooked.
"If the builder lays the first bricks awry,
The building rises crooked to the sky."
Oftentimes we disregard the importance of setting the right intentions and building on a solid foundation before an undertaking. Marriage is described as "a great covenant" (ميثاق غليظ) in the quran. It is an act of worship, and one of the cosmic signs of God. When it is truly prophetic, it cures the self and brings us peace. It is put together on the basis of eman, and flies on the wings of ehsaan. When there is barakah in a marriage, brought about by strong God consciousness as its basis, the relationship thrives.
For anyone seeking to lay their bricks straight, ensuring their marital building rises strong and true, this book is a must-read.
"If the builder lays the first bricks awry,
The building rises crooked to the sky."
Oftentimes we disregard the importance of setting the right intentions and building on a solid foundation before an undertaking. Marriage is described as "a great covenant" (ميثاق غليظ) in the quran. It is an act of worship, and one of the cosmic signs of God. When it is truly prophetic, it cures the self and brings us peace. It is put together on the basis of eman, and flies on the wings of ehsaan. When there is barakah in a marriage, brought about by strong God consciousness as its basis, the relationship thrives.
For anyone seeking to lay their bricks straight, ensuring their marital building rises strong and true, this book is a must-read.
January 7, 2025
Written from the perspective of a single reader, this book delivers exactly what its title promises: Handbook of a Healthy Muslim Marriage. True to its name, it serves as a comprehensive guide for anyone preparing to embark on the journey of marriage.
Abdur-Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera masterfully addresses every facet of married life, from seemingly minor challenges to more significant issues, offering practical and thoughtful solutions for each. He does not shy away from tackling delicate topics often considered taboo in society, such as polygamy, infertility, and infidelity. His candid yet compassionate approach ensures these sensitive issues are addressed with the gravity they deserve.
What stands out to me most is the author’s balanced and unbiased perspective, as he carefully outlines the rights and responsibilities of both men and women. The depth of insight and practical advice in this book reflects the author’s extensive knowledge and understanding of the intricacies of marriage.
This book is an invaluable resource for anyone seeking a deeper understanding of how to build and sustain a harmonious, fulfilling marriage in accordance with Islamic principles.
Abdur-Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera masterfully addresses every facet of married life, from seemingly minor challenges to more significant issues, offering practical and thoughtful solutions for each. He does not shy away from tackling delicate topics often considered taboo in society, such as polygamy, infertility, and infidelity. His candid yet compassionate approach ensures these sensitive issues are addressed with the gravity they deserve.
What stands out to me most is the author’s balanced and unbiased perspective, as he carefully outlines the rights and responsibilities of both men and women. The depth of insight and practical advice in this book reflects the author’s extensive knowledge and understanding of the intricacies of marriage.
This book is an invaluable resource for anyone seeking a deeper understanding of how to build and sustain a harmonious, fulfilling marriage in accordance with Islamic principles.
May 13, 2021
This is a comprehensive book that covers what to find in a spouse, the marriage fiqh in Islam, and marriage life, including the infamous polygamy issue and divorce. I can't find the book online and even the e-book version so I had to buy it from Singapore (https://wardahbooks.com/products/hand...) and it is worth every penny. The book also contains a postcard for gifting because it is also a good gift for anyone: a friend looking for a spouse, parents looking for their child's spouse, or the newlyweds. One thing readers (maybe) should note, the cultures referenced in this book are most likely Indian/Middle Eastern, so maybe there will be some difference if you're not from those cultures.
February 2, 2025
My brother-in-law gifted me this book, and I initially tucked it away on a dark shelf. But my curiosity made me take a peek... I ended up reading the whole thing.
Unlike some self-help books that feel unrealistic or aloof, this one was pragmatic and real, not shying away from dishing out tough love. I am defo forcing future Mr. Right to read this with me 😌
The first four chapters are for single folks—basically, a “read this before you panic” guide. Chapter 5 dives into the meeting process, must-ask questions, contracts, and ceremonies. Then, it moves on to advice for married men and women and the most common marital struggles. The spirit of Islam really shines in it. I learned a lot from the stories. May Allah swt reward the author for putting his expertise to paper.
Unlike some self-help books that feel unrealistic or aloof, this one was pragmatic and real, not shying away from dishing out tough love. I am defo forcing future Mr. Right to read this with me 😌
The first four chapters are for single folks—basically, a “read this before you panic” guide. Chapter 5 dives into the meeting process, must-ask questions, contracts, and ceremonies. Then, it moves on to advice for married men and women and the most common marital struggles. The spirit of Islam really shines in it. I learned a lot from the stories. May Allah swt reward the author for putting his expertise to paper.
December 15, 2023
As someone reaching the age, as well as someone studying Nikah quite in depth, this book gave me perfect insight into marital dynamics and relations in a Western Society without any restraint.
A perfect companion piece to the tradition Islamic study of Nikah that I’m studying; elucidating
many aspects I didn’t even realize I misunderstood
Gonna be my go-to book to reread when my time comes inshAllah.
A perfect companion piece to the tradition Islamic study of Nikah that I’m studying; elucidating
many aspects I didn’t even realize I misunderstood
Gonna be my go-to book to reread when my time comes inshAllah.
July 7, 2025
very detailed and comprehensive fiqh and advice on marriage, pretty much touches on everything you can think of. left a bad taste in my mouth that the author randomly decided to make an unfounded dig at BPD when talking about child custody, but otherwise a fine book. though, topics like these could probably use a blended perspective with female scholars as well.
November 5, 2020
A must read for Muslims wanting to get married as well as parents looking to get their children married. It's also beneficial for people who are already married
January 3, 2021
Excellent book
January 31, 2022
A good book for introduction of marriage life. Started from finding spouse and divorce issue. People nowadays need to read this kind of book rather than scrolling social media.
June 30, 2022
Beautifully explained and unlocks key tips in a healthy marriage . This book is definitely a star read before marriage as it narrows down key aspects and choices when looking for a spouse
May 9, 2024
Well laid out , covers a lot of different topics and is easy to read.
July 18, 2025
Mufti Mangera's writing is like butter! You read his written words and keep on reading.
As for this book, it's very well-written and feels like a complete guide on Muslim marriage.
As for this book, it's very well-written and feels like a complete guide on Muslim marriage.
August 2, 2024
I am ignoring all the negative comments because I thought this was a spectacular piece, appreciated its not the most poetically well written but there was good, specific advice going on here and what I appreciated the most was it was not bias towards men or women - the author did not favour any gender over the other but kept the book neutral which is a rare sight as typically male authors favour men and hammer down on the women to do better and vice versa. I read this book before marriage and have read it another two times whilst being married and find it an excellent refresher
February 8, 2021
This book is really good for someone who is thinking
about getting married soon. It explains everything step by step. The author explains many Hadith regarding nikāh. I am really happy that I read this book in my 20s. The author spent many years writing this book. May Allāh accept it from him.
about getting married soon. It explains everything step by step. The author explains many Hadith regarding nikāh. I am really happy that I read this book in my 20s. The author spent many years writing this book. May Allāh accept it from him.
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews