Dear Stranger, Dearest Friend

by Laney Katz Becker

Lara and Susan are very different women with one important thing in common -- breast cancer. Susan, a two-year survivor, has already been through treatment; for Lara, it is just beginning. When they "meet" over the Internet, a valuable friendship is born. Corresponding only through e-mails, they share the most intimate details about their husbands and children; their fear and joy; their daily ups and downs; and their deepest desires. Helping each other with laughter and tears, Lara and Susan build a bond that will ring true to anyone who has ever faced adversity with the support of a treasured friend.

Based on her own experience with breast cancer, Laney Katz Becker gives readers both a novel that celebrates the special bond of female friendship and an insider's look at dealing with breast cancer.

Genres: Fiction

381 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2000

About the author

I grew up in Toledo, Ohio and went to Northwestern University for college (where I majored in theater). I moved to NYC after graduation.

I've worn many hats, career wise, including advertising copywriter, freelance journalist, literary agent and author.

I have two married children and two grand children. My husband and I raised our kids in Chappaqua, NY, and then decided we'd had enough of the cold weather and moved to Palm Beach Gardens, FL a little more than a dozen years ago. He plays golf; I write. It works well. :-)

My website has all kinds of information about my writing life but here's the short version: "I especially enjoy writing historical novels that shine a light on something happening or relevant today."

Reviews

[Les · Rating 5 out of 5]

My Original Thoughts (2000):

I read this in two days! Love it, although it almost made me cry on several occasions. Wonderful format (epistolary emails). Not only is it a great story of friendship, but a wonderful source of information about breast cancer and its treatments.

Two women "meet" on the Internet. One has just found a lump on her breast and the other is a breast cancer survivor.

My Current Thoughts:

I was surprised to see that I gave this book a 5-star rating since I usually reserve those high marks for more literary works. However, I still have this book on my shelf, and although the medical information is most likely outdated, it's one that I have intended to read a second time. I love epistolary works and when I read this my online friendships were really taking hold. Remember the days when you mentioned an online friend to someone and they couldn't believe you were so close to someone you'd never met in person? Not so unusual these days, is it?

[Sophia · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a lovely read! Found this book randomly and had it on my shelf for years. Finally picked it up and - not knowing what it was actually about - it was a surprisinlgy pleasant read considering it is about two women writing each other e-mails about their breast cancer experiences and nothing much "happened" really.

It was really heartwarming and funny and I read this one one day. I kind of started to expect the ending, but it still had me crying. This was so lovely and considering the fact that this was Laney Katz Becker's first novel, I just have to say wow. Absolutely loved it. Such a sweet read. So heartwarming (said that already, but I just loved this book).

It was also sad and kind-of shocking in some ways. Because I also learned a lot about breast cancer and it's various forms of treatments in an entertaining way, but it still made me wince at times. Should talk to the gyno about yearly checkups because that's important and 80% of women who develop breast cancer don't have breast cancer in their family's medical history.

But it was a really nice and fun and lovely and heartfelt read! <3

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the relationship these two ladies had. I loved how they could be open and honest about their Breast Cancer and their lives. I could relate to so many things that were being said about the procedures. Some of my procedures had different names, but they were the same "hell" to go through. The biopsy with the mammogram was the big one! I does really hurt even if the Dr.'s doing it don't think so. Not fun! Thanks Mom!

[Shelly Fabian · Rating 5 out of 5]

A heartfelt story about breast cancer that real and full of emotion.
The only quote from the book so disagree with is below. It’s my son who seems to hate me not my daughter.
“I can confidently predict that if you’re fortunate enough to have a daughter someday, she will hate you too.”

Enjoy the other quotes below.

“No one will ever love my kids the way I do. Not ever.”

“No one told me being a mom would be so difficult. And so thankless.”

“PITA (pain in the ass)”

“Make it perfectly clear to her that you cannot (and will not) make changes in your life simply to suit her desires but what she thinks and how she feels does matter to you.”

“Why is life so hard”

“PPO (pretty pissed off)”

“We can only do our best, Lara. We can only do what we think is right.”

“She has a life. Get used to it.”

[Pam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read the first time in July 2001 and thought it was very good and quite informative about the world of Breast Cancer. It is written between two women who meet online looking for advice and information. They write about things other than breast cancer and and become very good friends.
Then in 2003 when I had a bit of a breast cancer scare, I read it again and it helped inform me of what all could happen with breast cancer. Luckily I escaped that fate but still have the book even though many of the tests and procedures that it talked about in 2001 are probably outdated now.

[Alona · Rating 5 out of 5]

You cannot go past this book. It raises such important questions. Breast cancer awareness, what women go through while treating BC and even more when they are waiting for the diagnosis being confirmed or luckily denied.
Sue, she did so much to support Lara, but in the end had a terrible recurrence of breast cancer. Girls, just check yourselves! Early detection can save lives.

[Rita · Rating 4 out of 5]

Breast cancer book - Great book

[Tea Serene · Rating 5 out of 5]

Emotional. One of the only books to make me break down in tears while reading it. Unforgettable. You really get to know the characters in such a raw fashion. I recommend it a lot.

[Wendy Kennar · Rating 3 out of 5]

Such a unique structure. Told through emails written by the two main characters. And yet, I still was able to get a sense of who these women are.

[Alexis Dedek · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed the format of back and forth emailing between friends. Made for an easy read on such a heavy topic.

[Amanda L Robinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book many years ago, and I’ve thought about it often through the years. It’s been on my mind recently as my best friend battles breast cancer.

[E.M. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had no idea that this was a novel concerning a very dangerous diagnosis when I first picked it up - it hit me when I saw the ribbon outline - which would teach me for not reading the summary or anything, and just liking the cover and grabby title...

I didn't expect to grow fond of these courageous women as quickly as I did, devouring every letter they e-mailed. But they make it easy. All too soon you're sucked into the lives Laney has novelized from her own.

A nice retreat from all the junk television I've indulged in as of late; it reads contemporary, as if penned yesterday (although published originally in 2000) which only adds to its charm and sincerity. A recommended read for those who are questioning, alone in crisis, or dealing with a burgeoning reality... and just as a reminder: You are not alone. Look no further than this book to prove it.

[Margaret · Rating 2 out of 5]

Lara, 38 years old, happily married mother of two finds herself writing online to a message board set up by the breast cancer support organization. She found a lump in her breast, has a doctor visit scheduled in 2 weeks, but is understandably anxious. She is hoping for some reassurance and some advice from other women who have experienced the same thing.

Susan, 42 years old, happily married mother of one frustrating pre-teen is a breast cancer survivor. She feels a connection to Lara and she responds with some statistics for Lara that do, indeed, offer reassurance but that also serve to keep Lara informed of steps she should take to take all precautions to keep herself healthy.

It turns out that Lara is in for a wild ride with different doctor procedures, findings, and tests that do nothing to reassure her or to inform her of her condition. It is the online friendship that develops between Lara and Susan that keeps Lara searching for and demanding definitive answers.

The idea of an online friendship would have been, years ago, a novel idea; but with FaceBook now so widely used, it is not out of the realm of possibility. It was also a great way to point out that there is help "out there" for those who have no one else to turn to. Support groups exist now for just about every concern one could have.

The book, for me, became tedious at times and the entire book was based on emails written between the two women. That took away the ability for me to really get to know each woman as a separate personality even though the emails didn't deal entirely with cancer--there was an effort to show a glimpse of the women's personal lives, but not enough to make feel attached to either character.

For some, this book could be a blessing. It is based on the author's own personal experience with breast cancer and serves to give much information about what questions to ask a doctor, what certain medical terms and tests mean, what can be done to ease physical discomfort, etc. And, for that reason, this book could be just too sensitive with too much information for readers to take in.

For me, it was just an interesting read on a very important topic. May we someday find a cure for this dreaded illness.

[Marsha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Laney's book is fiction, but she bases it on personal experience that she had with breast cancer. The book centers around two friends who initially meet on a breast cancer support bulletin board on the Internet. This novel is written using the style of the letters (e-mails) that the two friends write to each other. It was sad at times, because breast cancer is a horrible disease. However, I liked how this book was informative about the disease and written in a very personal style. The women also talk about their families and how the cancer affected them. Also, they share other tales from their family which help the reader grasp a strong profile of our two main characters and the people in their lives. The author does acknowledge at the end of the book that she did have her doctor read her manuscript to be sure that she did not give out any wrong information. I highly recommend this novel for all women. The story entertains, but also informs. Excellent.

[Molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Laney Becker's epistolary novel about two women dealing with the effects of breast cancer is simultaneously life-affirming and haunting. Becker's description of the effects of the protagonist's treatment—especially the stitches that X across her body after the mastectomy—will stay with me for a long time. As important as her depiction of cancer is, her depiction of female friendship is equally important and rarely treated with such wit and insight. These are real women dealing with a life-threatening disease while forming a bond that will outlast them both, and I only wish we could see more stories like this.

[Beckie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such an informative book about each step of breast cancer. Add emotion and story, and it is fabulous. Much better than reading a self help book, "so you have breast cancer." Written by a breast cancer survivor I was moved to tears, frightened for the main character as she faced surgery, and hurt for her as she recovered. I also found myself laughing at some of the jokes Laura shared with her email friend, Sue. One of the most poignant and real parts to me is how these two breast cancer survivor mothers shared their fears that they had unknowingly passed on to their daughters the potential for breast cancer.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! This book was AMAZING! I had no idea what it was about at the time I picked it up (it just looked good:), but it just so happens that it is Breast Cancer Awareness month and this book is about two women who have breast cancer. It is very detailed and very enlightening. It is composed of emails between these two women and I loved the relationship they formed. I learned so much about a topic that is very important to me. I have so much more compassion for women who are going through this right now - I totally recommend this book to anyone.

[Tammy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. I got this book from the library and read it in one night and ended up getting a copy as a gift. I cried and felt that I knew the characters. I thought the friendship between the 2 women was wonderful and supportive. I loved how the book was written in emails. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone.

[Mom/judy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is about 2 women who deal with breast cancer. Itis written in the form of emails to each other, so that makeas it unique and easy to read. I found that the 'facts' presented were great and informative, and the 'feelings' shared were true to life. I learned a lot , and gained a lot of insight by reading this book.

[Gaia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not sure how this book ended up in my house, but I enjoy books that are in the format of letters between two people and so I decided to read it. This one happened to be about breast cancer. The book was an "easy read" in the sense that I found it hard to put down, even though it's about a difficult topic. I now fully know that breast cancer f'in sucks.

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

the best fiction account of what it is like to be diagnosed with bc and go through treatment. it also follows the death of a dear friend to cancer. not to be missed by anyone that knows someone with cancer.

[Angie · Rating 5 out of 5]

When reading a similarly styled book written via correspondence I was reminded of this brilliant book I read a couple years ago. This story was amazing and beautiful. So heartfelt and moving. I learned so much about breast cancer and friendship. This is a definite must read for ANYONE!

[Shari · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is based on the story of the real life cancer experiences of a woman who finds support, advice and true friendship on the internet from other cancer victims and survivors. It is written in a series of e-mail messages and is informative, not overly sentimental and quite compelling.

[Christina Cuanalo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought I wasn't going to like this book when I saw it was composed completely of emails, but I loved it. If breast cancer has touched you somehow in life, whether you or someone you know, you should read this book. It will give you great insight how a person with breast cancer feels.

[Debbie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this one. I liked the concept and the format of the book, but the writing seemed a bit amateurish. Completely predictable plot, but did provide info on breast cancer and gave perspectives of women going through it.

[Sharper1 · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh. It was a book. I picked it up because I like books written in email/letter form. It was enough to keep reading, but barely. Part of that may be that I've been sick all week. It wasn't bad, but was extremely predictable.

[Rey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story was so touching. The relationship between Susan and Lara was very well written and felt so genuine. I cried several times during this book and am glad to be able to share this with my friends.

[Danyelle Cleveland · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a book that I bought off a clearance rack; I have kept it as its message was powerful. If you know anyone dealing with cancer especially breast cancer, it might be worth reading yourself first and then recommending to others.

[Paula · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a different book with a different set up. Quick and easy read!

[Christy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was fine. Unfortunately, that's really all I have to say about it. For a more-than-fine book on the same topic, I'd just recommend Nordie's at Noon instead.