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The Saint Monica Club: How to Hope, Wait, and Pray for Your Fallen-Away Loved Ones
In the fourth century, a young man named Augustine turned his back on the Church, plunging into a frenzied life of lust and dissipation. His renunciation left Monica, his pious Catholic mother, weeping and praying for his salvation . . . for more than a decade!
Like so many Catholics today – even perhaps like you – Monica wrestled daily with the pain of having a loved one fall away from the Faith. Like us, she often feared that her prayers and tears were of little worth, empty, futile.
Not so! After nearly two decades, Augustine returned to the Faith, and in a big way. Revered today as Saint Augustine, he joined in holiness his mother, Monica – now Saint Monica – whose sacrifices, prayers, and pain finally won for both of them the crown of sanctity.
In these pages, author Maggie Green provides wise, compassionate guidance for members of what she calls “The Saint Monica Club”: good Catholics suffering like Monica the rejection of the Faith by persons they love dearly.
Herself a longtime and long-suffering member of the club, Green shows how persevering as Monica did in devoted love for straying souls – loving them as God does – will not only quiet the lingering, aching cry of our hearts, but will also draw our lost loved ones back to the Faith and into the arms of Jesus again. Yes, the nonconfrontational Way of Saint Monica is hard. But it is the only way. These pages demonstrate that, with the souls of our loved ones at stake, it is worth the effort . . . and worth the wait.
108 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 18, 2019
52 people are currently reading
141 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
April 30, 2021
I was intrigued by this book from the first time I encountered the title. I was surprised by the book, even though I started it with no preconceived notions. I picked up this volume based on the title and subtitle alone. I had not read any reviews, the back cover or even the description. I knew it was a book I wanted to read and needed to read. The dedication of the book states:
“By a member of
the Saint Monica Club
who lives in hope,
to all other members
who likewise hope for
the day their children return”
The chapters in the volume are:
Preface: What This Book Isn’t
The Saint Monica Club
Being Willing to Cry Out to God, “Lord, the One We Love Is Lost!”
There Are No Quick Fixes
Sitting at the Feet of Jesus Is Doing Something
Do Something Loving
Be Kind, Not Nice
The Daily Surrender
Ask for Help
Keep Inviting Them In, through Every Door You Can Find
Keep Living Life and Sharing What You Know
Meet Them Where They Are
Take Up the Cross by Treating Others with Dignity in All Things
Being an Attractive Witness to Marriage and the Family
There Will Always Be a Test
Your Job Is to Inform and Witness, Not to Persuade
Hold On to the Nails, Not the Hurt
Guard Your Heart, so as to Remain Holy
As a Parent, You Are Never Finished Loving
Lively Faith in Your Home Allows Divine Grace to Do Its Work
Lord I Believe; Help My Unbelief (and Please, Please, Please Hurry Up!)
Be Brave, Even in Little Things
Jesus Gives Lavishly, More Than We Can Even Ask
The Rosary Is Your Best Tool
Find Your Consolation in Christ, and Hold Fast to the Gospel
Watch Yourself
Sacraments and Sacramentals
It’s Still Hard and Will Be Until It Isn’t
The Domestic Church Is Your Refuge
At Best, We’re Junior Assistants
Recognize Your Weak Points
Walking with Them
Love Will Break Hearts of Stone
The Soul Stolen Away
How Can We Be at Peace if One We Love Is Lost?
Taking Up the Cross
Being Honest
Your Prodigal and the Rest of Your Family
The Dangers of Engaging in Intellectual Combat
Your Prodigal’s Absence May Allow You to Be More Present
Beauty Will Save the World
The Hope That Is Ongoing
Not the Final Thoughts
Prayers to Saint Monica
This book was easy to read. It is engaging. It will inspire and motivate. There is a lot of wisdom in this book. It will bring up issues you may encounter. Troubles you might encounter. It will help those of us in this club to better handle the situations that might arise. Written in regards to the parent and child relationship, the advice is sage and can be applied to any relationship. A few of the passages I highlighted my first time through are:
“Repeat as often as needed: I am not in charge. I am here to love and to cooperate with God’s will, to assist in teaching the rest of the world about God’s great, infinite, merciful love by my own obedience and my own witness of that same gift.”
“We have a solemn duty to introduce our children to God by our words, our deeds, and, yes, by our witness to the Faith. We can do all of this, and still, our whole job is merely to prepare their hearts and sow the seed; it is God’s grace that will bring forth the fruits.”
“Loving your prodigals, no matter how challenging they might be or how old, is learning how to imitate God the Father by imitating God the Son. We willingly sacrifice our hands and feet, our head and our side; we offer ourselves, or we do not love.”
“When we are generous, it prompts others to consider whether they ought to be more generous as well. So feed the hungry, house the homeless, comfort the lonely, be the source of God’s abundant mercy for your prodigal. A good teacher in graduate school drilled into my head, “All behavior is communication.” It’s your job to listen to what your prodigal has to say (or to be aware of your prodigal’s silence on certain matters) and to respond by saying and doing something that reveals love.”
So material in this book might not be new to the read but the reminder will be excellent. I loved this book. And it was one I really needed to read. As my children have aged, I have had more concerns about them walking away from the faith. And I have prayed for years for my wife to convert to Catholicism. This book provided encouragement and support. And inspired me anew to redouble my prayers, love and service.
A fantastic book for Catholic parents, and grandparents.
“By a member of
the Saint Monica Club
who lives in hope,
to all other members
who likewise hope for
the day their children return”
The chapters in the volume are:
Preface: What This Book Isn’t
The Saint Monica Club
Being Willing to Cry Out to God, “Lord, the One We Love Is Lost!”
There Are No Quick Fixes
Sitting at the Feet of Jesus Is Doing Something
Do Something Loving
Be Kind, Not Nice
The Daily Surrender
Ask for Help
Keep Inviting Them In, through Every Door You Can Find
Keep Living Life and Sharing What You Know
Meet Them Where They Are
Take Up the Cross by Treating Others with Dignity in All Things
Being an Attractive Witness to Marriage and the Family
There Will Always Be a Test
Your Job Is to Inform and Witness, Not to Persuade
Hold On to the Nails, Not the Hurt
Guard Your Heart, so as to Remain Holy
As a Parent, You Are Never Finished Loving
Lively Faith in Your Home Allows Divine Grace to Do Its Work
Lord I Believe; Help My Unbelief (and Please, Please, Please Hurry Up!)
Be Brave, Even in Little Things
Jesus Gives Lavishly, More Than We Can Even Ask
The Rosary Is Your Best Tool
Find Your Consolation in Christ, and Hold Fast to the Gospel
Watch Yourself
Sacraments and Sacramentals
It’s Still Hard and Will Be Until It Isn’t
The Domestic Church Is Your Refuge
At Best, We’re Junior Assistants
Recognize Your Weak Points
Walking with Them
Love Will Break Hearts of Stone
The Soul Stolen Away
How Can We Be at Peace if One We Love Is Lost?
Taking Up the Cross
Being Honest
Your Prodigal and the Rest of Your Family
The Dangers of Engaging in Intellectual Combat
Your Prodigal’s Absence May Allow You to Be More Present
Beauty Will Save the World
The Hope That Is Ongoing
Not the Final Thoughts
Prayers to Saint Monica
This book was easy to read. It is engaging. It will inspire and motivate. There is a lot of wisdom in this book. It will bring up issues you may encounter. Troubles you might encounter. It will help those of us in this club to better handle the situations that might arise. Written in regards to the parent and child relationship, the advice is sage and can be applied to any relationship. A few of the passages I highlighted my first time through are:
“Repeat as often as needed: I am not in charge. I am here to love and to cooperate with God’s will, to assist in teaching the rest of the world about God’s great, infinite, merciful love by my own obedience and my own witness of that same gift.”
“We have a solemn duty to introduce our children to God by our words, our deeds, and, yes, by our witness to the Faith. We can do all of this, and still, our whole job is merely to prepare their hearts and sow the seed; it is God’s grace that will bring forth the fruits.”
“Loving your prodigals, no matter how challenging they might be or how old, is learning how to imitate God the Father by imitating God the Son. We willingly sacrifice our hands and feet, our head and our side; we offer ourselves, or we do not love.”
“When we are generous, it prompts others to consider whether they ought to be more generous as well. So feed the hungry, house the homeless, comfort the lonely, be the source of God’s abundant mercy for your prodigal. A good teacher in graduate school drilled into my head, “All behavior is communication.” It’s your job to listen to what your prodigal has to say (or to be aware of your prodigal’s silence on certain matters) and to respond by saying and doing something that reveals love.”
So material in this book might not be new to the read but the reminder will be excellent. I loved this book. And it was one I really needed to read. As my children have aged, I have had more concerns about them walking away from the faith. And I have prayed for years for my wife to convert to Catholicism. This book provided encouragement and support. And inspired me anew to redouble my prayers, love and service.
A fantastic book for Catholic parents, and grandparents.
July 12, 2020
As the author notes here is a club no one wants to be part of. What she refers to as the Saint Monica Club.
Many Catholics are aware that St. Monica as the mother of St. Augustine. There is a list of patronages she is known for but prominently for wives and mothers. Her perseverance in prayer helped to lead to the conversions of most-famously her son, but also her Pagan husband and Mother-in-Law. St. Augustine n his “Confessions” reports what St Ambrose told her.
“Go now, I beg you; it is not possible that the son of so many tears should perish.”
This book deals primarily with people dealing with prodigal children.
This is not a book that pretends to tell you the exact steps to follow to bring your children back to the church. Something she acknowledges from the start. What she does offer is a lot of practical advice.
This book is obviously born out of the heartache of a mother struggling in dealing with her own prodigal.
This book also describes with some of the problems a parent will deal with and the hurt involved. How you can start with a form of bargaining with God where you promise some spiritual discipline in return for some kind of instant conversion of the prodigal. What you go through as you try to transform your own heart into following God’s will. To be able to trust in God and the fact that he loves your child more than you do.
People can have an abstract grasp of some of this but when it turns out that you are having to do this for the long-haul that you can become frustrated with perseverance.
There is a lot of wisdom in this book and I found all of it worthwhile. I say this based on my own experience. So if you are in this situation yourself I would highly recommend this book as a guide.
Many Catholics are aware that St. Monica as the mother of St. Augustine. There is a list of patronages she is known for but prominently for wives and mothers. Her perseverance in prayer helped to lead to the conversions of most-famously her son, but also her Pagan husband and Mother-in-Law. St. Augustine n his “Confessions” reports what St Ambrose told her.
“Go now, I beg you; it is not possible that the son of so many tears should perish.”
This book deals primarily with people dealing with prodigal children.
This is not a book that pretends to tell you the exact steps to follow to bring your children back to the church. Something she acknowledges from the start. What she does offer is a lot of practical advice.
This book is obviously born out of the heartache of a mother struggling in dealing with her own prodigal.
This book also describes with some of the problems a parent will deal with and the hurt involved. How you can start with a form of bargaining with God where you promise some spiritual discipline in return for some kind of instant conversion of the prodigal. What you go through as you try to transform your own heart into following God’s will. To be able to trust in God and the fact that he loves your child more than you do.
People can have an abstract grasp of some of this but when it turns out that you are having to do this for the long-haul that you can become frustrated with perseverance.
There is a lot of wisdom in this book and I found all of it worthwhile. I say this based on my own experience. So if you are in this situation yourself I would highly recommend this book as a guide.
March 31, 2024
ENGLISH: Many families have today one or more members who, for theoretical or practical reasons, have abandoned the Faith. This book offers many suggestions on how to deal with such a problem without losing hope.
ESPAÑOL: Muchas familias tienen hoy uno o más miembros que, por razones teóricas o prácticas, han abandonado la Fe. Este libro ofrece muchas sugerencias sobre cómo enfrentarse con un problema como este sin perder la esperanza.
ESPAÑOL: Muchas familias tienen hoy uno o más miembros que, por razones teóricas o prácticas, han abandonado la Fe. Este libro ofrece muchas sugerencias sobre cómo enfrentarse con un problema como este sin perder la esperanza.
April 9, 2020
Excellent book to read if you have a loved one that has fallen away from the Catholic Church. It is written in one or two-page chapters to read slowly and ponder. It inspired me to keep praying for and loving my loved one.
July 4, 2021
My sister's book. She's really clear and her wisdom resonates on each page. As her brother, I confess this praise painfully for I am full of jealousy.
September 19, 2025
This book is very useful and comforting and to the point. it gives great prayer, suggestions, and practical suggestions on how to interact with your loved ones who don't have the Lord in their life. if you are a suffering, Christian, because you love someone who is not close to the Lord., read this book!
Dieses Buch ist sehr hilfreich, beruhigend und auf den Punkt gebracht. Es enthält Gebete, Anregungen und praktische Tipps, wie man mit seinen Lieben umgehen kann, die den Herrn nicht in ihrem Leben haben. Wenn Sie als Christ leiden, weil Sie jemanden lieben, der dem Herrn nicht nahe steht, dann lesen Sie dieses Buch 🙏
Questo libro è molto utile, confortante e va dritto al punto. Offre ottime preghiere, suggerimenti e consigli pratici su come interagire con i propri cari che non hanno il Signore nella loro vita. Se sei un cristiano che soffre perché qualcuno dei tuoi cari si è allontanato dal Signore, allora questo libro fa per te.
Dieses Buch ist sehr hilfreich, beruhigend und auf den Punkt gebracht. Es enthält Gebete, Anregungen und praktische Tipps, wie man mit seinen Lieben umgehen kann, die den Herrn nicht in ihrem Leben haben. Wenn Sie als Christ leiden, weil Sie jemanden lieben, der dem Herrn nicht nahe steht, dann lesen Sie dieses Buch 🙏
Questo libro è molto utile, confortante e va dritto al punto. Offre ottime preghiere, suggerimenti e consigli pratici su come interagire con i propri cari che non hanno il Signore nella loro vita. Se sei un cristiano che soffre perché qualcuno dei tuoi cari si è allontanato dal Signore, allora questo libro fa per te.
May 20, 2022
I cried so many times during this book. So many people that I love dearly have left the Faith, though thankfully my child has not. I can’t wait to re-read some of my favorites quotes again and again.
“When Monica kept at it to the point of annoying the Bishop (and I love this about St. Monica), it provoked a response I find a be a great consolation for her and all of us. “Go now, I beg you, “he said. “It is not possible that the son of so many tears should perish.”
”Some of us will have birthdays and Christmases and Easters with someone missing from the table, no matter what we do. It is a great pain, and it will weigh on us as nothing else can weigh. You think it’s hard having a child leave the Faith, until you have a child leave both of faith and your presence. Their absence is an agony for as long as it less, and, in some cases, it is years.”
“If the prodigal lives elsewhere, and it is his or her lifestyle that is antithetical to the Faith, continue to invite that child to your events (cookouts, beach trips, lunch, and so forth), following the example of Christ in Scripture, who doesn’t demand that sinners sees sinning to meet Him. Rather, because those who meet Him come to love Him, they cease to sin. Christ doesn’t slam doors. He stands at slammed doors and knocks.”
“When Monica kept at it to the point of annoying the Bishop (and I love this about St. Monica), it provoked a response I find a be a great consolation for her and all of us. “Go now, I beg you, “he said. “It is not possible that the son of so many tears should perish.”
”Some of us will have birthdays and Christmases and Easters with someone missing from the table, no matter what we do. It is a great pain, and it will weigh on us as nothing else can weigh. You think it’s hard having a child leave the Faith, until you have a child leave both of faith and your presence. Their absence is an agony for as long as it less, and, in some cases, it is years.”
“If the prodigal lives elsewhere, and it is his or her lifestyle that is antithetical to the Faith, continue to invite that child to your events (cookouts, beach trips, lunch, and so forth), following the example of Christ in Scripture, who doesn’t demand that sinners sees sinning to meet Him. Rather, because those who meet Him come to love Him, they cease to sin. Christ doesn’t slam doors. He stands at slammed doors and knocks.”
April 10, 2020
Honestly nothing written here was unknown to me but the reflections showed me how to better handle my prodigal children, how to embrace and let go of the heartbreak at their rejection of the Faith, and that I am not alone. If you have children who have fallen away this book is a must read. It gives excellent, practical advice and consolation.
August 23, 2020
It focuses more on the parent child relationship, but almost all of it is applicable to any relationship.
May 15, 2023
Such hopeful words.
August 2, 2022
I read this book because I am a member of the Saint Monica Club and was curious as to the insight the author might provide in my heart ache. In the short, bite size chapters, the author provided reflection, prayer, and comfort. So many times, I had to stop reading and write down a phrase that really resonated with my heart. I enjoyed sitting with the book, reading a short chapter, and then journaling in prayer. While the book won’t fix our hurt and brokenness, the reminders of St. Monica’s trust, persistent prayer, and steadfast faith coupled with the author’s experience and reflections brought me comfort and reassurance. I recommend it to any parent who finds themselves a member of the Saint Monica Club.
March 15, 2024
Amazing book and amazing advice!!
January 30, 2024
Positives:
Book was easy to read and comprehend. Had good suggestions (reminders)of what to do while we wait for our loved one to return.
Negative:
I couldn’t relate to author’s experience. If author had a broader examples of lost loved ones in her book might have been more effective.
(Some may)
Content was repetitive.
Gets a 3 for a good reminder.
Book was easy to read and comprehend. Had good suggestions (reminders)of what to do while we wait for our loved one to return.
Negative:
I couldn’t relate to author’s experience. If author had a broader examples of lost loved ones in her book might have been more effective.
(Some may)
Content was repetitive.
Gets a 3 for a good reminder.
November 21, 2020
This book is a reminder that our response to our children's rejection of God must be one where we imitate Christ. We have to love, invite, knock on the door of their hearts and suffer knowing that God is the Hound of Heaven who does the same for all of us.
March 20, 2023
Easy read. Lots of chapters by most are very short, which makes this easy to pick up and read for a few minutes. The author shares a lot of practical wisdom about how to stay close to your own faith while someone close to you has left it. It’s not about converting someone or even seeing them return to faith in your lifetime. It’s mostly written from the perspective of a mother with a prodigal child, but she references that this book applies to anyone who has a loved one, friends, etc who has fallen away, and I agree. I think this book would be a good read for most, because it seems we all know someone who has fallen away from the faith.
November 30, 2022
I enjoyed the short chapters and the ability to stop and think about the suggestions given to help with children that have gone astray from their faith. The suggestions are all practical. Thank you for the thought provoking ideas and suggestions on how to feel more empowered with our adult children’s estrangement from the faith.
May 20, 2024
Geared towards parents
While I liked this book, it definitely was geared more for parents whose children have left the faith. It shouldn't be titled loved ones, but your children. The concepts are applicable to spouses and other loved ones, but it would have been nice if the author kept it more generic.
While I liked this book, it definitely was geared more for parents whose children have left the faith. It shouldn't be titled loved ones, but your children. The concepts are applicable to spouses and other loved ones, but it would have been nice if the author kept it more generic.
August 22, 2023
No one ever wants to be a member of The Saint Monica Club, however almost every friend of mine who has adult children is. This little book is such a source of comfort during a difficult time of parenting that people don't really talk about. I am sure I will reread this many times!
March 3, 2020
This book is meant to be read slowly, with short readings to ponder. IT is helpful for those of us who are praying for adult children who have left the faith.
June 28, 2021
Very comforting.
September 18, 2021
Meh. Lots of good one-liners, but nothing of substance for me. Maybe for a convert 🤷♀️
January 15, 2024
This book is a sigh of relief, a book full of hope. I will read it again and again!
September 21, 2024
A quick and easy read. I found it very comforting.
Want to read
January 8, 2025Suggested by At Home with Sally
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 4, 2025
Great, brief series of reflections that were all too familiar. Very helpful in navigating a difficult circumstance.
November 23, 2024
Beautiful! "The Saint Monica Club: How to Wait, Hope, and Pray for Your Fallen-Away Loved Ones" offers encouragement, practical ideas, and prayers to bolster those with loved ones far from the Lord. This is a book I will keep on my nightstand and will refer to often.
January 12, 2021
St Monica
This book serves as a plan to encourage love ones, particularly children, to return to the faith. It's being used as a guide for St Monica book and prayer groups. In that regard it is helpful.
This book serves as a plan to encourage love ones, particularly children, to return to the faith. It's being used as a guide for St Monica book and prayer groups. In that regard it is helpful.
Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews