On Being Liked

by James Alison

With questions of religion and homosexuality on the front pages again, and debates raging about the nature of marriage and the ordination of priests, James Alison invites us into deep, lucid reflection about God, the wonder of creation, and the way that God not only loves but likes every one of us.

Genres: Theology, Religion, Christianity, Nonfiction

168 pages, Paperback

First published April 15, 2003

About the author

James Alison (b. 1959) is a Catholic theologian, priest and author. He grew up in an evangelical family in England and converted to Catholicism as a teenager. Alison studied at Oxford and earned his doctorate in theology from the Jesuit Faculty in Belo Horizonte, Brazil. He was a member of the Dominican order from 1981-1995.

Reviews

[Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not just a book on "gay issues." Alison is re-thinking the meaning of Christian salvation in way that doesn't rely on sacrificing scapegoats. Heavily influenced by the work of Rene Girard.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Sacred centres produce margins, and the margin is a dangerous place to be, and much effort must be expended not to be among the losers, whether in terms of finance, health, reputation or whatever. However, the extraordinarily powerful, benevolent, nonsacred, non-centre, which is Christ building the new Temple, is able to make it a pleasure to dwell with spaciousness among the weak and those of little account, because there is, after all, 'world enough and time'. So peripheral existence enables liking being among those who do not have anywhere to go, because they are neither competition, nor sign of scarcity, not threat of loss, nor object of compassion, but sign of gift and shared story. There is all the spaciousness of eternal life with which to begin to build a story of the sort that has no end." (74)

[Keith Homstad · Rating 5 out of 5]

Elegant theology for the 21st century. God not only "loves" you, God actually likes you! The words of salvation!

[Michelle (Epically.Bookish) · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautiful book this was. It’s been a long time since I’ve read a theology book where the prose was as beautiful as the content. I feel like this book encapsulates the Hauerwasian concept crafting a theological sentence. A.K.A. This little book packs a punch! The book is essentially the author’s advice on how to minister to gay people amidst a tradition that is non-affirming. His tradition is Catholic, so word of warning, there is a lot of insider language but he means for it to be read by all traditions. The book is broken into three triptychs: 1. A salvation triptych 2. A homosexuality triptych 3. A contemplative triptych (this last one is dispersed throughout the book and in my opinion are the best parts of the book). He starts off by reimagining what salvation actually is, which will tie into his second triptych on homosexuality. He deconstructs the substitutionary atonement theory and instead describes salvation as realizing we have been forgiven and set free from death and its corresponding paranoias, by the One who IS (who, it’s revealed, has nothing to do with death either). Furthermore we are set free to the degree which we start to behave toward others in the same way that Jesus behaves toward us, which is unconditional love. In his second to last chapter he talks about how viewing the non-affirming church with resentment ironically gives them the power of a false idol. It contributes to an us vs. them mentality that inevitably always demands a bloody sacrifice/scapegoat. Instead we need to view them as Peter before his encounter with Cornelius. The non-affirming church has received the good news, but just hasn’t yet realized how radical that news is. So instead we are called to minister alongside Peter, knowing that he is the weaker brother who we hope will be freed further into the gospel. Essentially he calls for indifference towards church tradition, and to instead operate in the freedom of the gospel. He compares it to Jesus’ indifference to the Temple and religious institutions of his day. We should neither seek the approval nor resent the current institutions that are non-affirming, but instead operate in the creative freedom of one who has been unconditionally loved and forgiven and is free to unconditionally love and forgive others.

[Amida Castro · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it! It took me by the hand into thinking, understanding, and living Jesus' Resurrection in such a way that sin stops being the central point to allow forgiveness, love, and specially the mystical feeling of being liked take its place (which is so much more than being accepted or loved, since it implies that there is actually no difficulty in being with you -after all, it is very possible to accept and love someone, that we don't really like that much, but, hey, we love them so our love and acceptance becomes a kind of "tolerance"). It is a book that encourages us to stop being –spiritually speaking– children, and grow up. This growing up will help us live salvation as a process where we become saved by being creators with our Creator. A must read!

[James Richardson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Alison is so original and wonderful, and this book has moments of brilliance. Unfortunately the writing is inconsistent, reflecting no doubt that this book is really a work-in-progress. Alison has so much to offer I can only hope and pray he goes back through this and gives us a fuller treatment and works out the writing knots.

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a liberating, thought-provoking book of essays (reconfigured speeches, as noted at the book's end) from one of today's finest Catholic theologians. I am not Catholic myself, but Alison's brave and heartfelt words give me hope that even the most recalcitrantly homophobic institutions can eventually become more welcoming and affirming places for all Christians. Three brilliant chapters stand out to me (1) Alison's lucid and devastating critique of substitutionary atonement theory [the noxious idea that God willed/orchestrated Jesus' death to appease God's own wrath in an effort to 'save' people from hell]; (2) the very touching chapter on liberating the gay conscience; and (3) the superb exegetical work Alison does with Jesus' attitude toward the Temple in Jerusalem and how that should inform marginalized LGBTQ Catholics today in their relationship to the Vatican, Roman Curia, and U.S. Bishops. This is a brilliant book and a great sequel to 'Faith After Resentment' - another life-affirming book for LGBTQ Christians of all denominations.

A note on the title - Alison insists that we believe God not only loves us but actually likes us. Sometimes we hear of God's love in such a way that it seems God loves us while holding 'his' nose - a kind of begrudging, against-God's-better-judgment kind of love. Alison proposes that it's much more helpful to think that God likes us - wants to be with us, enjoys our company, and is delighted with our presence! I find this a very helpful corrective to the angry, judgmental concept of God I grew up with in a very narrow, fundamentalist denomination.

[Jed · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brief book about the danger of continuing the theological lie that gay people are actually defective heterosexuals.

Quite a bit of the book is specific to Roman Catholic practice, but it's easy enough to understand his points in a ecumenical framework -- or probably to translate it into another denomination entirely.

I recommend this book to all the people I know who are interested in how we move Christianity into the light of truth regarding LGBT people, and frankly anyone else we think God doesn't "like."

[Dragan Radović · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely stunning. Alison's take on the (in)significance of the Temple is an stunningly poignant analogy causing the reader to reflect on what the center of their worship truly is and what role they play in the outworking of Christ's Spirit throughout the church body. His opening essay on the post-September-11 reflections is a sobering and pervasive warning on what we hold to be sacred. Just incredible. I've shared essays from this book to various Christian friends from various backgrounds and they were well received.

[5greenway · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5. James Alison always worth reading. A kind of impressionistic picture built up of a profound, humane theology. The sections on 'indifference' (disinterest?) particularly valuable and the explorations of 'being liked' really helpful.

[Giovanni Generoso · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely wonderful.

[Huw · Rating 5 out of 5]

Humble and healing. Thank you for sharing your story!

[Geoffrey Bateman · Rating 4 out of 5]

A colleague at Regis invited me to read this as part of a reading group (in preparation for a visit to campus by Alison, who alas had to cancel this past spring due to COVID), and much of it was situated within the tradition of theology that I felt a little unprepared for. But it's good to feel like a novice now and again, and the overall purpose and point to much of Alison presented was compelling, especially, I found, in the latter chapters when he engaged directly in conversations about how to think through the Catholic Church's stance on homosexuality, and the ongoing transformative assessment that is unfolding. I also appreciated his discursive style as his argument unfolded, his voice, humane and understanding, vulnerable, yet also confident and conversational. Worth reading, and I appreciated wandering a bit in unfamiliar terrain.

[Andrew Forrest · Rating 5 out of 5]

A refreshing theological read.

[Aeisele · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some interesting stuff, especially on objections to the typical story of atonement, and the current Catholic teaching on homosexuality.