We Were Never Friends

by Margaret Bearman

‘A compelling and authentic journey into the heart of a suburban Australian family. What is art? What’s true courage? I could not put it down.’ —Melissa Ashley,
bestselling author of THE BIRDMAN’S WIFE

Lotti lives under the shadow of a genius: her father George Coates is a brilliant and celebrated Australian painter.

When Lotti meets the outcast waif Kyla at a suburban Canberra school, two worlds are set to collide. Slowly Kyla is drawn into the orbit of the Coates family. Or is it the other way around?

As Lotti and Kyla navigate their way towards adulthood, dark secrets start to unravel, with devastating consequences …

WE WERE NEVER FRIENDS is unforgettable novel about friendship, the pursuit of a creative life and the legacies we leave behind.

‘Margaret Bearman’s intimate, unsettling novel of family dysfunction perfectly captures the ambivalent passions of girlhood while offering an incisive critique
of the cult of artistic genius. Sharp and subtle at the same time, refusing any easy certainties, WE WERE NEVER FRIENDS is a haunting portrait of the human
capacity for cruelty and love in equal measure.’ —Kirsten Tranter, bestselling author of THE LEGACY

Genres: Contemporary, Fiction, Coming Of Age, Literary Fiction

320 pages, Paperback

Published March 1, 2020

Reviews

[Blair · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lotti Coates is the eldest daughter of an acclaimed painter and his beautiful muse; she’s accustomed to glamour and success. So when her family move to Canberra and she starts attending a new school, she’s determined to be one of the in-crowd – a plan that’s jeopardised when her parents allow her classmate Kyla Tyler, a notoriously strange and unpopular girl, to stay at their house. Lotti hates Kyla, whose odd looks and coarse manners horrify her. Yet as time goes on (and to Lotti’s disgust), Kyla seems to become increasingly entangled with the Coates. In the present day, the adult Lotti, now a doctor, returns to Canberra and – with a retrospective of her father’s work due to open – is forced to reckon with memories of those years.

Initially, I couldn’t help but compare We Were Never Friends to Emily Bitto’s The Strays, another Australian novel which features many similar plot points: an artistic family with three children taking in a disadvantaged girl; an unequal, obsessive friendship; complicated family dynamics and emotional neglect; a narrative structure that involves an adult reflecting on their childhood. But after a while, Bearman’s book pulls way ahead of Bitto’s. The writing is brilliant at the sentence level, and those crisp sentences illuminate Lotti’s world with startling colour – the settings are vividly portrayed, as is the emotional landscape of adolescence. I thought at first this would be an easy read, and while I certainly got through it quickly (I couldn’t put it down in the second half), it’s much bolder than I had imagined. Whenever I thought I knew where the story was going, it did something even more daring.

I would have liked to know a bit more about present-day Lotti, whose concerns aren’t fully elucidated. I also found it slightly jarring that past-Lotti and friends are pre-teens – a lot of their experiences, along with their language, feel too ‘old’ for girls who have just left primary school – but that’s probably a lack of similarity with my own experience more than anything else. Aside from those quibbles, I (somewhat unexpectedly) loved this book.

[Corrie · Rating 3 out of 5]

The story is solid. Very compelling, gripping and overall an easy read. But perhaps, too easy. It reads like YA instead of adult and overall it left me wanting more. More description, more depth, more introspective on the characters themselves. The book would have benefited from an extra 150-200 pages. It has amazing bones, truly unique story and extraordinary outcome but it falls short in going deeper. It wasn’t until the last chapter that the author even mentions the type of hair Lottie (the main character) has! When I came across it I was a bit taken aback because it wasn’t the character in my mind. Overall the author never fully develops the characters. The brother Luke for example, I have no clue how old he is. I’m sure it was mentioned at some point, I missed it, and books usually build characters out to circle back again and again on specifics. It would have also been beneficial to get more of the mom in, her thoughts, feelings, how the situation played out for her. Instead it was focused on high school drama, which seemed rather pointless and a waste. Regardless, it’s worth the read. Just don’t expect to have a full story. It makes sense the author is a movie writer, it reads as such and this would make a fabulous movie.

[Tim Armstrong · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was very fortunate to get an early reading copy of this fantastic book. This deserves, and I hope, garners wide readership - it really is special.
There will be comparisons to Emily Bitto’s “The Strays” which was also a fine, fine novel. But this also deserves the Stella Prize!! Big call, I know, but read it and tell me I’m wrong! One of my books of the year for 2019!!

[Caitlin Alexander · Rating 1 out of 5]

It certainly is a choice to describe your fat characters with more disgust and contempt than the ones who abuse children.

[Karen · Rating 2 out of 5]

1.5 rounded up
I found this book somewhat of a conundrum. The themes, which include abuse, child abuse (physical and emotional), an attitude to women that bordered on misogyny, and teenage girl toxicity, were heavy however, the writing itself felt very young adult and didn't do justice to the seriousness of the topics for me. The regular body shaming was tedious and felt unnecessary. Every character was flawed, poorly drawn and frankly dislikable. For me this was a heavy handed attempt at too many difficult subjects and although the 12 year old's story is supposedly told through flashbacks from an adult perspective, it did not feel this way at all. A great disappointment that I struggled to finish.

[Ruth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this one up intending to read a few chapters before breakfast and didn't put it down again until dinner. It wasn't a perfect novel by any means but I can't deny that it left me feeling a raft of inexplicable emotions. This book will stay with you. Is Margaret Bearman Australia's Ann Patchett? I can't wait to find out.

[Cathy]

I listened to this book in short bursts (an hour here or there) and it stayed with me between listens, even when I didn't get back to it for a few days. The clues are there early that something 'dark' is coming in the story, but the emotions of it are slightly blunted by the perspective of the teenage narrator in the sections that deal with that period of Lottie's life (it jumps back and forth). The story captured well that awkward time when embarrassment in front of friends is at the centre of teenage concerns. I didn't feel like Lottie's 'present' as a nearly qualified surgeon was given quite as much depth, but the point of this section was probably to add weight to the events of the past and show their impact.

I won't try and give a plot summary as that is in many other reviews, but the dynamic of the family living with Lottie's famous artist father and all that comes with that, brushing up against Lottie's (slightly shallow) teenage friends and troubled classmate lead to plenty of tension and questions about art, life, and morality.

I enjoyed reading something set in Canberra and Sydney, a relatable story, and the issues raised were thought provoking and at times challenging. It didn't feel like any of these really had a resolution, but maybe that was the point, life is messy and doesn't tie up in neat narrative, so an unresolved story can have a strength of its own.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

A compelling novel set mainly in Canberra. Interestingly fictional places and real places in the city are both used to tell this original contemporary story about family dynamics, family abuse and a blurred tale of artistic exploitation.
The teenage girls relationships described in the novel felt authentic and took me back to my own teenage years, growing up in Canberra, a decade before the novel's setting.
It would make a great bookclub book, so much to discuss and I think it might stay with me for quite a while.
It wasn't quite what I was expecting and I found it so compelling I read it in one sitting.
Really looking forward to seeing what this author does next.

[Aneets · Rating 4 out of 5]

I always really enjoy reading books where artists feature as one of the characters as I find the creative process fascinating. In this case the creative process ended up being destructive in terms of the family dynamic and relationships.

The back and forth between the past and the present wasn't as effective as it could have been as I wanted to know more about the protagonist in the present- it probably needed another 100 pages to flesh that out. A really good read. 4 stars.

[Jules · Rating 2 out of 5]

Didn’t hit the mark for me. Even with sections of the story told from adult Charlotte’s perspective, the book feels very much like YA fiction, which is not what I signed up for. I didn’t like the racist Asian stereotype character Chi, or the constant fat and body shaming comments throughout which don’t add to the narrative in a meaningful way. The whole story is based around the intrigue of Kyla’s character: unfortunately this is underdeveloped and the way the child abuse and trauma is portrayed is unrealistic, which stops the story from meeting its potential.

[Bianca · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.75 stars rounded up

[Toni · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 stars


Abuse comes many forms. If you are an artistic genius who is white and male, you can be lauded for it rather than condemned.

[Rebekah · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a devastating read. It felt very real to me, as someone who has the same profession and is the same age as the narrator. I only wish it were longer, and had more detail, more to fill in the gaps.

[Em__Jay · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars

[grace · Rating 2 out of 5]

slayn’t

[Elisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

i do not care for the people that died

[Martyn Tilse · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I turned the last page of Margaret Bearman's book "We were never friends", I sat and pondered. What had I just read? Was it a biography, a mystery, a book about families and what they can do to you, a psychological treatise on love and trust or a biblical work on transgression and redemption?

That I enjoyed the unfolding and intriguing story, there was no doubt. That it was well written, was obvious. That it flowed backward as a perfect and pristine river from its wide and tranquil entry into the sea of today and back to its more exotic and turbulent beginnings way up in the hills of an unusual childhood, only enhanced the delight of my exploration.

From the very opening sentence you feel that Lotti, our story teller, has a secret. And it's an old secret. A yet unshared secret from school days. But Lotti has other secrets too. Perhaps not so desperately hidden but not the sort of things to share with those outside her enmeshed family.

Lotti has a problem. Her father is a internationally renowned painter. Her mother is a teacher but very beautiful. Very bohemian. Very much a match for her free-spirited husband. Lotti and her brother and younger sister live an intellectually privileged life but under the boding sky of a quixotic father who is as emotional elusive to them as he is world famous and feted as an artist. They must share their mother with their father's pure artistic talent.

Lotti has another problem. Kyla! Kyla is a sickly girl at Lotti's school and as the title of the book leaves us in no doubt, not one of Lotti's friends. But not being a friend doesn't stop Lotti, and we readers, from discovering quite a lot about Kyla. And that "quite a lot" is an unpleasant burden at times for reader and Lotti alike.

Kyla is a mystery that Lotti really doesn't want to become involved with. She has other blander school friends that she is desperate to court. But there is something insistent about Kyla that won't just go away. Like the purplish bruises on her body, that Lotti's father captures so well for himself in his art, there is something very real about her physical world that won't be brushed off and forgotten and forgiven.

There are burdens in life, apparently, that must be carried whether we want too or not. Sometimes just mumbling "we were never friends" is no excuse at all. Sometimes we do good, despite ourselves.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this for my work book club.
The character development was seriously lacking with the physical descriptions of the main character, Lotte, mainly described as fat and freckled and very little else. The family were also only very lightly sketched.
This could be due to the first person POV. However this perspective struggles because although the majority of the story is described by 12-13 year old Lottie, it is also from the perspective of a mid 20's (I'm guessing as I don't think it is actually stated) adult Lottie. There was no new opinions given due to hindsight of age.
For this reason, the child Lottie's story reads like young adult fiction with the drama of high school to focus instead of the heavier themes of child abuse and the ever present "Art Monster"
In a heavy handed way, I believe that the author was trying to get across that people value art and hence artists higher than that of an abused and sick child.
This would have been more poignant if the story around it wasn't written in such a childish manner.

[Adora Herveaux · Rating 2 out of 5]

The main issue with ‘We Were Never Friends’ is that it spends waaay too much time in the past when Charlotte was around 12. I started thinking I’d accidentally picked up a YA book instead of adult fiction. The present day moments with Charlotte as an adult were no where near enough, and you don’t get to see how her childhood affects her as an adult.

It touches on some interesting themes. Adult regret of not being a nicer teenager to someone who needed help, instead following the cool kids. Being paranoid of your weight because you have an overweight parent. Making too many allowances for a husband who didn’t deserve it and negatively affecting the kids. But it wasn’t explored enough and nothing was really resolved.

[Kylie Percival · Rating 5 out of 5]

An interesting account of from a daughter's perspective (both as child and adult) of growing up with a great artist as your father and her complex relationship with another child who claims to have a life threatening illness and may also be a victim of neglect and physical abuse. Bearman's depiction of a 12 year old navigating the snakes and ladders world of friendships and status in the Canberra school yard is accurate and telling. As a reader I felt a similar ambivalence towards Kyla Tyler - a compelling read.

[Amelia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved it. Refreshingly non-formulaic.

[Bridie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really gripping - raced to the end of this one. I really enjoyed the Canberra setting of the book

[Silvia Ercole · Rating 5 out of 5]

A compelling and authentic novel. I read it greedily and its characters and ideas stayed with me for many weeks.

[Jane Cowell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this title through a list of great 2020 books that you might have missed and I am so glad that I picked up this book to read. This is Margaret Bearman’s second work of fiction and is the story of the Coates family, acclaimed Australian painter George who is an ex-doctor and his wife Claire, and their children Lotti, Luke and Alice. Told through the eyses of the eldest daughter Lotti, Margaret Bearman has written a powerful exploration of family dysfunction, family violence, notions of friendship, and perceptions of artistic genius. Told across two time periods, Charlotte’s (Lotti), now an adult surgeon, who returns to Canberra to do her internship, adolescent memories are triggered when a major posthumous retrospective of her father’s work is staged, featuring new controversial paintings of Kyla, a waif-like classmate of Lotti’s, who is damaged in a myriad of ways, including having a life threatening heart condition. Kyla is the school outcast and the popular group that Lotti joins at the new school are mean, bullying and dismissive of Kyla’s health problem. And Kyla responds with disdain and malevolence which does not make her situation any less tragic. When she comes to stay with the family it is the catalyst for the disintegration of Charlotte’s own family. Bearman brings the notion of friendship, the total sense of self-involvement of the ‘group’ and the complete lack of empathy for those on the outer that adolescents can demonstrate to life on the page, even if it can be tiresome at times for the reader. There is an eerie unsettling atmosphere to the book as Bearman only hints at the trauma in Kyla’s life and she comes across as so tough and in your face the reader is almost confident that she will survive. This is a dark and unsettling book with a spotlight on family violence, what remains unseen even after it has been seen and what is art and when does it spill over into manipulation and exploitation. Reviewers have compared it to Celeste Ng’s Everything I Never Told You, and Charlotte Wood’s The Natural Way of Things, and if you enjoyed these then definitely give this one a go. It is deftly written and will be in your thoughts for weeks after you finish it.

[Rachael (shereadsshenoms) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Have had this out from the library for months and months over Melbourne lockdown and and after finally picking it up I devoured it under 24 hours.

12-year-old Lotti's father, George Coates, is a celebrated Australian painter, a narcissistic genius. As Lotti struggles through the transition from primary to high school and all the associated school yard friendship politics, the outcasted Kyla Tyler comes into her family's orbit, much to Lotti's horror: any association with Kyla is social suicide. Without wanting too say too much re the plot, things get complicated for Lotti.

Would sit somewhere alongside Emily Bitto's The Strays, if The Strays was set in 1999, perhaps, and is also perhaps a small bit reminiscent of Bluebottle by Belinda Castles. It's a portrait of a family having moved to Canberra from Sydney as the cusp of Sydney's 2000 Olympics looms. I was in early high school when the millennium turned over, and this read true to the time and setting, and definitely made me feel nostalgic in parts.

This book tackles issues of domestic abuse and violence, questionable ethics, the dysfunction of family, and the separation of art from the artist.

For the most part is told through the eyes of Lotti at 12-13, and unfortunately there's some pretty regrettable fatphobia and maybe a little underdevelopment (and thus reliance on stereotypes) with some minor characters.

3.5 stars. Not a perfect novel, but a good weekend read for sure.

[Giovanna Walker · Rating 4 out of 5]

What is art? I really enjoyed this exploration from a child's point of view of a family - it had the right amount of child like insight and pieces of the 'adult' world for you to get the gist of what was going on, yet still leaving questions. I admired how Bearman portrayed the girls at the centre of the story, the waxing and waning of teenage friendships, the bullying, the cruelty, the embarrassment. Also with shades of the 'genius' artist, whose 'indiscretions' are overlooked because of his 'genius' (or is that narcissism?). I really enjoyed how the story unfolded - and I'm not usually one to enjoy a story from a child's point of view - I usually struggle with the language - too nuanced and mature for a child that it obviously written by an adult - however I did not struggle at all with Bearmans' work and her voice of the children. The prose is also well crafted and considered. I'd certainly recommend.

[Amy Margaret · Rating 3 out of 5]

We Were Never Friends by Margaret Bearman is an unsettling novel that focuses on the impact of family violence and child abuse, misogyny, and the cult of artistic genius.

Told from the POV of Lotti, the daughter of a famous Australian artist, the story is set mainly in her childhood. Despite being about very heavy and adult themes, there was an incongruence for me as it's narrated predominantly from Lotti aged 12. Given the young age, it also reads like a YA covering younger topics such as the challenges of fitting in as a young adolescent, and body image including consistent body shaming (I know they were pre-pubescent girls, but it was a lot). This made for a lot going on in this short book, sometimes feeling a little confused about what was the focus. Narrative from adult Lotti was very scant and therefore her relationships and impacts of her early childhood experiences wasn't really fleshed out.

Overall it felt like it should almost have been two different books. ⭐️⭐️⭐️ (3/5).

[Francene Carroll · Rating 2 out of 5]

A book about creative genius and the abuse of power that results from it. We Were Never Friends wants to be a subtle exploration of this abuse from the point of view of a famous artist's daughter, but for me it lacked nuance and emotional realism.

Based on the blurb I thought the story would mainly be focused on the daughter's adult life with flashbacks to the past, but most of it is about her tedious childhood dramas and her adoration of her frenemy Larissa. I agree completely that it reads like a YA novel. The character of Kyla didn't ring true. She's an unsympathetic caricature with no redeeming features. The storyline goes in circles and the writing isn't sophisticated, adding to the YA feel.

I enjoyed the first few chapters but overall this was an unsatisfying read.

[Rebecca Moore · Rating 2 out of 5]

I feel rough giving this two stars. It’s more 2.5… I didn’t hate it, but I disliked nearly every single character (I liked Luke). It was grim and everyone was awful. The main character is a doctor and looks forward to finishing her residency (or exams, or traineeship or something, I don’t know) but I never quite understood what she wanted. At one point she goes on about what she said to get into medical school about why she wants to be a doctor and then was like ‘all bullshit of course’… but what actually is her core? She spends her whole childhood wanting to be cool and liked by cool kids and, yeah, she’s just a bit of a shit person. This is probably so harsh and maybe I needed to give it a bit more thought but ultimately I ended the book feeling really flat and a bit depressed.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty heartbreaking. On a multitude of levels. Made me question how much of art is gratuitous, seemingly gratifying solely to the artist, and how much of it is cathartic... or for other effects and purposes. Bearman captures bitchiness on the cusp of adolescence with such a realistic voice, so much so that it was hard not to relate to those feelings of angst and wanting to fit in that pervaded most of my teen years (as clichéd as it sounds). While most of the characters are more pitiful than likeable, their narrative thread remained an engaging one throughout. I get that the ending was trying to give Lotti some kind of closure, however I wasn't fully content.