The Eye of Adoption: A Turbulent True Story of Heartache, Humor, & Hope

by Jody Cantrell Dyer

"No one just adopts." From the very first steps of acknowledging adoption as a choice to the final document that seals the deal, Jody Cantrell Dyer paints a raw, warm, heartbreaking and eventually triumphant portrayal that narrates the entire adoption process through compassionate and humorous prose. Dyer's candor and soul color each page of The Eye of Adoption. She directly addresses the sorrows of infertility and the demands of adoption while consistently word-weaving a life rope of assurance, humor, and optimism for her readers. A middle-aged wife, mother, and teacher, Dyer "tells it like it is" in hopes that waiting adoptive parents, birthparents, adoptees, and those close to them will find kinship through her story.

Genres: Adoption, Memoir

270 pages, Paperback

First published March 7, 2013

About the author

From Jody: Readers, please "friend" me here on GoodReads and Facebook (Author Jody Dyer, Crippled Beagle Publishing). I am a compassionate humorist writer and love learning from and sharing with readers of all genres. I'm also a professional editor, ghostwriter, and publisher.

Find my books here on Goodreads and on Amazon.com, Barnes&Noble.com, in libraries, and at select retailers.

Learn more about how I help writers at crippledbeaglepublishing.com.

Jody

Reviews

[Carla Joules · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was so incredibly excited to win this book through a Goodreads giveaway, and Jody Cantrell Dyer (the author) was incredibly gracious in writing a note in both the inside cover congratulating me on my win and including a little thank you card!

I am an adopted child (adopted when I was 4 years old) and was interested in reading about this adoption journey from the point of view of a woman who suffered through infertility struggles and ended up embracing the difficulties of the adoption process. Jody writes about her heartbreaks and fears honestly and openly in such a way that I also felt my heart breaking along with hers. Obviously, the process of adopting a child already in the provincial foster care system in Canada is different than that of going through a private agency in Tennessee (as all adoptions through Child, Youth and Family Services in my province are closed at least until the child is 18), but she explains every step towards domestic US adoption clearly. I love that she also includes written journal entries that she wrote to her "baby to-be" while she and her family were waiting to welcome a child into their hearts and their home and her selected quotes from literary sources work perfectly within the context of her writing. I will admit, I almost cried at the doctor's office when I got to the end of the book and read the interview between Kerri (the birth mother) and Jody (the adoptive mother) discussing how Kerri came to choose adoption for her unplanned pregnancy and how they both felt that open adoption worked for them.She is so fortunate to have a wonderful relationship with the birth mother and includes her own biological son in any meeting with her adopted son's biological family.

If you are someone considering adoption, this is an excellent book to read as you go through the process of paperwork and waiting; Jody explains her fears, her doubts, her concerns and all of the emotions on the emotional roller coaster so that you will see that you are not alone. She reminds you to keep faith and hope on your journey if you are a "waiting parent" and explains what the parents-to-be may be going through if you are part of the extended family during the adoption process. This is definitely a book that will stay on my bookshelf, even if I do not ever become an adoptive parent myself!

[Missy Bemiller]

Thought it was a well written book. I liked her open honest sharing of the roller coaster ride you go through. It was heart wrenching while humorous and insightful.

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked up The Eye of Adoption, expecting to slowly read through another adoption book, taking my time, mulling over the similarities in our experience. As the author of But the Greatest of These is Love, my memoir about my own adoption experience, I have read many books about adoption. I was caught up immediately in Dyer's story, and finished it in a couple of days. Her wit and conversational style had me laughing out loud. By the end, I felt I knew Jody, her husband, her doctor, her mother, well, you get the picture.

Jody's story was one of patiently waiting for a baby, as her subtitle implies, it was a turbulent wait, full of hope and disappointment. I wish teenage mothers-to-be and their parents would read this story. There are so few babies to adopt. Maybe seeing how many prospective adoptive parents desperately want to parent and give a child a full life might help with a difficult decision. But they all might want to give their babies to Jody!

I hope to see Jody write more books. Southern Chick lit, perhaps. I think she a very gifted writer!

[Patty Lazarus · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author's honest and sometimes humorous journey through the adoption of her son is enlightening, entertaining, informative, and totally enjoyable. I loved every word and found it especially interesting to someone who went through a similar experience. The author clearly felt compelled to offer help to others who may be considering adoption at her own personal expense of time and effort. This book is truly for anyone who has adopted, wants to adopt, or who just wants to read a fascinating book!

[Carla · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall I thought this was a pretty good book. I found myself caught up in the story of a woman who first dealt with fertility issues and then with the emotional highs and lows of the adoption process. I have no children and even though I'm not currently in the position to have one, I still feel a pang when seeing friends have babies, so I could sympathize with the author a little bit. The only thing that I didn't like about this book was how it was set up; every other page was a new section and it made the book seem a little disjointed, but other than that, a good read!

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a fantastic and well rounded real story of the journey of adoption. Jody does a great job and revealing the real moments and feelings involved with the process, without glossing over the uncomfortable stuff. I highly recommend this to anyone involved with an adoption journey; either their own or someone in their life. Well done.

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was amazing. I encourage all of my friends currently involved in the adoption process or considering adoption to read this. I am HAPPY to loan this to anyone, especially our friends curious about what we are going through--this is pretty similar!

[Diane Chamberlain]

Research for Pretending to Dance

[Carol McClain · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you love memoirs, this is the book for you. Dyer had me anxiously awaiting the next chance I had to pick up the book and read.
She frankly discusses the pain of infertility and her long wait to be able to adopt Scotty. I anxiously turned pages, identified with her grief and her joy.
Not only did Dyer illustrate her own rough road, but that of birthmother Kerri.
This is an unforgettable book.

[Brenda Seals · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jody takes a serious subject and writes with compassion, honesty and even humor. I’ve never been through an adoption process but this would be a good read for anyone looking for an honest book on the adoption process.

[Cyn Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend.

I never thought much about adoption before my daughter adopted two siblings from Columbia. Reading this book helped me see the process through other eyes and was very revealing. As usual in her books, I feel like Dyer holds nothing back from the reader.

[Susan Kite · Rating 5 out of 5]

Complete open adoption primer

I am not totally unfamiliar with adoptions, even open ones, but this book was an eye opener for all aspects of the process and from several points of view also. Very readable and honest.

[Faith · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an interesting book. I knew some about adoption, but this was an eye-opener. It was a little slow in places; informative overall. Audio, not a bad listen.

[Gayle Swift · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Portrait of One Woman’s Journey to her Adopted Child
Jody Cantrell Dyer writes from the heart with integrity, honesty, humor, compassion, and a commitment to guide others who wait for “their” child to arrive through private agency adoption. She offers her experience as encouragement as they too, work through the arduous pre-adoptive process. When adopting, baby doesn’t arrive after nine month wait; sometimes the matching process takes many years.
Jody’s story gives an inside view of how one person successfully navigated the journey. She and Kerri created an open adoption that works for them. It acknowledged the grief and loss of all parties—Kerri’s, Bryant and their extended families—and continues an ongoing relationship.
Dyer is understands that adoption must be focused on finding the best family for a child versus finding a child for hopeful parents. This awareness does not dilute the raw emotions that she experiences. Joy, excitement, yearning, frustration, fear, impatience, self-doubt, depression, envy of the fertile—all of these feelings make an appearance in this engaging portrait of a woman who is 100% to adopting a child. Eight years is a long time to remain dedicated to a dream but Jody never faltered.
The interview pages with Kerri provide insight into this young birth mother’s thoughts, emotions and choices.
Waiting parents will find Eye of Adoption an excellent read. They will also want to read widely on how to prepare and educate themselves for the unique task of living as an adoptive family.

[J.C. Morrows · Rating 4 out of 5]

I met Jody not too long at a workshop she held in one of our local libraries.

I admit, I had never stopped to think about the roller-coaster ride that can be the road to adoption…but The Eye of Adoption has shown me.

It has also shown how having an amazing attitude can make the journey one that will change you – yes – but for the better.


Even the cover shows this unique contrast. You see the wind whipped clouds above a relatively calm sea of soothing blue and white and all you have to do is step in…

Once upon a time I considered the idea of adoption (as I was told by several doctors that I would never have children naturally) but God had other plans for me.


But… WOW! Am I glad I read this book!

Jody Cantrell Dyer has a wonderful outlook and a delightful sense of humor about the whole experience.


Whether you are considering adoption or not… read this book!

Jody takes us through every step of her journey with humor and helpful advice and she does it in such a way that shows us all the difficulties of the journey while making us laugh and feel joy with her!

What a wonderful gift this book would make for anyone in your life who is considering adoption!

I received this book free in exchange for an honest review.

[Deanna Kahler · Rating 5 out of 5]

As an adoptive parent, I am always interested in hearing others' adoption stories. Although the stories have a lot of the same struggles, emotions and happy endings, they are unique and fascinating. "The Eye of Adoption" is no exception. The author reveals intimate details of her personal life and her difficult experiences with infertility, treatment and adoption. Her honesty and willingness to share are admirable. I especially found her letters to her future child touching. Her interview with a birth mom was also a very nice touch and helps others to understand a birth parent's perspective on adoption. If you are looking for an interesting personal narrative that will make you laugh and cry, you'll enjoy this book!

[Evelyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Eye opening book

This book raised my awareness of those who have suffered infertility, gone through the journey of adopting a child or have given up a child for adoption. Each one who has walked through any of these has walked a path unique to their own personality and circumstances. The author shared her experiences with candor and respect for those involved and created deeper compassion in me.

[Elaine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is must read for anybody going through the adoption process, or thinking of adoption. Easy read and I couldn't put it down. Written from the heart, the book reveals the raw feelings that accompany the process. I liked how the ending was from the birthmother's perspective.

[Margaret · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a must read for anyone going through the adoption process. As someone also suffers from secondary infertility and is going through the adoption process, I related to Jody's story on so many levels. Jody shares her story with honesty and humor.

[Brandy]

emotional

[Leann · Rating 5 out of 5]

I happened to "luck up" on this book in a book store. I have no doubt that God places this book in my life. It's one of those that touched my heart when I didn't even know I needed it.