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Love Matters More: How Fighting to Be Right Keeps Us from Loving Like Jesus
For years, Christians have argued, debated, and fought one another while "speaking the truth in love," yet we are no closer to the grace-filled life Jesus modeled. Biblical scholar and popular podcast host of The Bible for Normal People , Jared Byas casts a new vision for the Christian life that's built not on certainty, but on the risk of love. A biblically-based Christian life is not grounded in having all the answers but in a living relationship. This ultimately shifts our focus from collecting the "right" answers to loving others deeply and authentically. With stories and insights drawn from his years as a pastor, professor, and podcast host, Jared Byas calls us back to the heart of the that truth is only true when it's lived out in love. In a refreshing voice that's both witty and profoundly revelatory, Jared unpacks the concept of truth, its meaning, and why we so often fight over it. He makes a compelling case for how what we believe is less important than how we believe it and that, more than anything else, telling the truth in love is about following Jesus. For anyone who has ever felt forced to choose between truth and love, acceptance and rightness, this book offers a path forward beyond truth wars and legalistic religion to a love that matters more.
224 pages, Paperback
Published September 8, 2020
146 people are currently reading
1633 people want to read
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August 30, 2020
In Love Matter More, Jared Byas argues that Christians need to do a better job when connecting with people we disagree with. He writes specifically about how Christians tend to “speak the truth in love” when telling others how to live their lives because it ultimately causes the receiver of the “truth” to feel dehumanized and unloved. As the title of his book says we should care more about showing “love” rather than focus on being right all the time. Byas states that we should show “true love” instead of “speaking truth in love”, the former places the emphasis on love while the latter places it on truth.
“Speaking truth in love” is a common phrase we tend to hear but may not seem as clear to us in practice. Byas provides a number of good examples of how we tend to do this. Some include: Christians telling an unmarried couple who are living together that they’re “living in sin”; Christian parents kicking their LGBTQ kids out of their house because of their sexuality; and Christians telling women they can not be pastors or hold some other form of authority because of their gender.
One of the most powerful sections of the book is on how we tend to make the Bible into an idol. Byas discusses how some Christians tend to treat the Bible as absolute truth when the focus should be on what Jesus taught us about the scriptures. He ultimately comes down to the conclusion that the best Christians are not those that know the most Bible but they are those who love the most. This made me think of a number of people I know who actually live out Christian values even though they don’t know the Bible cover to cover.
Love Matters More should wake alot of Christians up. Byas’ life experiences and wisdom that he chronicles in this book, as a former pastor and now scholar, should benefit those who have been victims of this toxic behavior of “speaking truth in love” and especially those who have been the promoters of this ideology onto others.
Thanks to Zondervan, Jared Byas, and Anna LeBaron for a free ARC copy in exchange for an honest review. This book will be released on September 8, 2020.
Review first published on Ballasts for the Mind: https://medium.com/ballasts-for-the-m...
“Speaking truth in love” is a common phrase we tend to hear but may not seem as clear to us in practice. Byas provides a number of good examples of how we tend to do this. Some include: Christians telling an unmarried couple who are living together that they’re “living in sin”; Christian parents kicking their LGBTQ kids out of their house because of their sexuality; and Christians telling women they can not be pastors or hold some other form of authority because of their gender.
One of the most powerful sections of the book is on how we tend to make the Bible into an idol. Byas discusses how some Christians tend to treat the Bible as absolute truth when the focus should be on what Jesus taught us about the scriptures. He ultimately comes down to the conclusion that the best Christians are not those that know the most Bible but they are those who love the most. This made me think of a number of people I know who actually live out Christian values even though they don’t know the Bible cover to cover.
Love Matters More should wake alot of Christians up. Byas’ life experiences and wisdom that he chronicles in this book, as a former pastor and now scholar, should benefit those who have been victims of this toxic behavior of “speaking truth in love” and especially those who have been the promoters of this ideology onto others.
Thanks to Zondervan, Jared Byas, and Anna LeBaron for a free ARC copy in exchange for an honest review. This book will be released on September 8, 2020.
Review first published on Ballasts for the Mind: https://medium.com/ballasts-for-the-m...
June 25, 2021
They will know us by our... accurate theology? No. They will know us by our... ability to memorize scripture? No. They will know us by our...church attendance? No. They will know us by our...brutal honesty? No. They will know us by our...opinions on their life? No.
They will know us by our love. (John 13)
So then, what do they know of us?
It's time we stop "speaking truth in love" as a weapon and start just loving. It's time we stop valuing being right over being kind. It's time we recognize the way we've come to worship the Bible (and our preferred interpretation of it) as if it is our golden calf.
This book is literally my theology in a 4 hour nutshell. Thank you, Jared.
They will know us by our love. (John 13)
So then, what do they know of us?
It's time we stop "speaking truth in love" as a weapon and start just loving. It's time we stop valuing being right over being kind. It's time we recognize the way we've come to worship the Bible (and our preferred interpretation of it) as if it is our golden calf.
This book is literally my theology in a 4 hour nutshell. Thank you, Jared.
September 10, 2020
"Love Matters More" is a book that will remind the reader to examine our hearts for the true motivation behind "speaking the truth in love." Author Byas is a pastor, professor and podcaster who encourages us to be cautious in how we represent Christ--are we loving those we disagree with, or is it just a battle to be right?
The book is food for thought in how we present the love that Christians profess to have for others. Are we angry, argumentative, or are we seeking to understand those on the other side of the table? Byas shares personal experiences and insights that he's had as a pastor serving all kinds of people throughout the years. Have we weaponized Scripture or have we internalized the message of Jesus?
If we remain factual without being relational with others, our faith seems empty and cold. Jesus sought out those who were hurting and gave them peace and love--not angry words of condemnation. While we know what Scripture says, we also need to temper that wisdom with perspective. Where has this person been throughout their lives? Have they experienced the love of Christ? Often these life experiences give us clarity on how to reach them and be honest with the truth of God's Word. In order to create relationship, we must first be invited into their stories and receive them in an open, kind way.
Even if you don't agree with all of the book's message, it is worth a read to understand a different perspective of how to reach others for Christ. I felt the book was personal as well as informative and would recommend it to anyone seeking to overcome the challenges of not only ministering to others, but trying to understand people whose life experiences are different than your own.
I was an early reader, thanks to Zondervan publishers. All opinions are my own.
The book is food for thought in how we present the love that Christians profess to have for others. Are we angry, argumentative, or are we seeking to understand those on the other side of the table? Byas shares personal experiences and insights that he's had as a pastor serving all kinds of people throughout the years. Have we weaponized Scripture or have we internalized the message of Jesus?
If we remain factual without being relational with others, our faith seems empty and cold. Jesus sought out those who were hurting and gave them peace and love--not angry words of condemnation. While we know what Scripture says, we also need to temper that wisdom with perspective. Where has this person been throughout their lives? Have they experienced the love of Christ? Often these life experiences give us clarity on how to reach them and be honest with the truth of God's Word. In order to create relationship, we must first be invited into their stories and receive them in an open, kind way.
Even if you don't agree with all of the book's message, it is worth a read to understand a different perspective of how to reach others for Christ. I felt the book was personal as well as informative and would recommend it to anyone seeking to overcome the challenges of not only ministering to others, but trying to understand people whose life experiences are different than your own.
I was an early reader, thanks to Zondervan publishers. All opinions are my own.
October 22, 2020
I grew up in a tradition that valued the intellectual aspect of Christianity. I was (and am) very truth-oriented in my approach to Christianity, something that has led to a keen interest in apologetics. But over the years, my view towards truth has softened. Not in any sense that it matters less, but in the sense of recognizing a greater ethic. It’s this greater ethic that Jared Byas preaches in Love Matters More.
No, this isn’t some universalist all-roads-lead-to-God wishy-washy type of theology. But it’s also not the in-your-face smarminess of “facts don’t care about your feelings.” It’s truth. And love. And the truth is that we often fail to love like Jesus love when we seek to be right at all costs. Love Matters More is a book about discovering that what draws people to Jesus is love, not all the right answers.
In a pastoral and conversational tone, Byas lays out the truth (in love). First, truth is objective and we are subjective. Using the famous blind men and the elephant analogy, Byas says that only God truly knows the elephant. The rest of us are interpreting truth based on our traditions, backgrounds, and biases. It’s not that truth can’t be known, but often we present our beliefs as The Truth™ without taking time to learn why other people come to different conclusions.
This is a particularly useful chapter for a church that is increasingly attacking fellow Christians for the political candidate they like or for the minor areas of doctrine they hold. We can debate over these things, of course, but it must be done in love. Byas suggests that love and fellowship trumps being in perfect agreement on all issues.
Byas’s most difficult chapter is “Love Changes the Truth.” In this chapter, Byas contends that what we’ve perceived as truth can change over time due to the work of the Holy Spirit. Jesus doesn’t say that the Bible would guide us into all truth; he says that the Spirit would. Byas applies this to several of the hot-button issues in evangelical Christianity: female clergy and same-sex sexual behavior.
He takes the Old Testament views on slavery and suggests that we see a change in interpretation between the Old and New Testaments. The Old Testament accepts slavery as an institution. The New Testament allows for us, but also says that within the church, such class distinctions should be broken down. Move to modern Christianity and nobody is arguing for the continuation of slavery.
Byas uses this argument of progressive revelation, where the general arc of a doctrine is toward redemption, and applies it female clergy and same-sex sexual behavior. He writes: “Just as our ethics rightly shifted away from opposing women’s equality and endorsing slavery—shifting the lens through which we read the Bible—a similar shift may be happening with regard to how people think about LGBTQ relationships…The Spirit of God is on the move again.”
This is an argument I’d not considered before, as most arguments for same-sex inclusion in the church is often based on misunderstanding the biblical texts not suggesting that we’ve progressed beyond them. This is both an intriguing premise but also one that needs the most evidence behind it. Byas doesn’t quite convince me, but it’s a line of consideration that those in charismatic, Pentecostal, or other denominations more attuned to the Spirit may find have weight.
Love Matters More is one of the most insightful, challenging, and thought-provoking books I’ve read in a long time. It’s a beautiful testament to the primacy of love and how placing it at the center of our theology will positively affect what we think, how we feel, and what we do.
No, this isn’t some universalist all-roads-lead-to-God wishy-washy type of theology. But it’s also not the in-your-face smarminess of “facts don’t care about your feelings.” It’s truth. And love. And the truth is that we often fail to love like Jesus love when we seek to be right at all costs. Love Matters More is a book about discovering that what draws people to Jesus is love, not all the right answers.
In a pastoral and conversational tone, Byas lays out the truth (in love). First, truth is objective and we are subjective. Using the famous blind men and the elephant analogy, Byas says that only God truly knows the elephant. The rest of us are interpreting truth based on our traditions, backgrounds, and biases. It’s not that truth can’t be known, but often we present our beliefs as The Truth™ without taking time to learn why other people come to different conclusions.
This is a particularly useful chapter for a church that is increasingly attacking fellow Christians for the political candidate they like or for the minor areas of doctrine they hold. We can debate over these things, of course, but it must be done in love. Byas suggests that love and fellowship trumps being in perfect agreement on all issues.
Byas’s most difficult chapter is “Love Changes the Truth.” In this chapter, Byas contends that what we’ve perceived as truth can change over time due to the work of the Holy Spirit. Jesus doesn’t say that the Bible would guide us into all truth; he says that the Spirit would. Byas applies this to several of the hot-button issues in evangelical Christianity: female clergy and same-sex sexual behavior.
He takes the Old Testament views on slavery and suggests that we see a change in interpretation between the Old and New Testaments. The Old Testament accepts slavery as an institution. The New Testament allows for us, but also says that within the church, such class distinctions should be broken down. Move to modern Christianity and nobody is arguing for the continuation of slavery.
Byas uses this argument of progressive revelation, where the general arc of a doctrine is toward redemption, and applies it female clergy and same-sex sexual behavior. He writes: “Just as our ethics rightly shifted away from opposing women’s equality and endorsing slavery—shifting the lens through which we read the Bible—a similar shift may be happening with regard to how people think about LGBTQ relationships…The Spirit of God is on the move again.”
This is an argument I’d not considered before, as most arguments for same-sex inclusion in the church is often based on misunderstanding the biblical texts not suggesting that we’ve progressed beyond them. This is both an intriguing premise but also one that needs the most evidence behind it. Byas doesn’t quite convince me, but it’s a line of consideration that those in charismatic, Pentecostal, or other denominations more attuned to the Spirit may find have weight.
Love Matters More is one of the most insightful, challenging, and thought-provoking books I’ve read in a long time. It’s a beautiful testament to the primacy of love and how placing it at the center of our theology will positively affect what we think, how we feel, and what we do.
September 21, 2020
When given the opportunity to acquire an pre-release electronic copy of Love Matters More in return for a review after reading it, I jumped at the opportunity. I am grateful to the publisher Zondervan, and to the book’s author, Jared Byas for giving me the opportunity. I became familiar with Byas through the popular podcast he hosts with theologian Pete Enns. I’ve found Byas’s role is largely to make what can sometimes be challenging (or boring) subject matter more appealing and attainable. Enns does this well on his own merit, though sometimes needs to be reigned in by Byas. His skill at doing so has helped him to write a book I found both attainable and engaging.
Admittedly, I am embarrassingly late in holding up my end of the bargain. My guilt is somewhat alleviated by the fact that I also pre-ordered a hard copy of the book after reading the first chapter. It’s one I want to have sitting on my shelf, not just taking up space in my cloud.
My struggle with writing the review is that I had trouble finding a way to be concise. I was having difficulty placing aside my own positive reaction to the book to consider how others might receive Byas’s words. Alas, it comes down to this:
I believe there are two groups of people who will find this book helpful. Group placement is determined by how a person might relate to the following quote - some questions - from the book:
“What’s been going on with you? You used to be so passionate about God, the Bible and what you believe. You used to stand up for truth, and now you seem so wishy-washy.”
Group breakdown is as follows:
Group 1 - People who have been asked the above question or asked it of themself.
Group 2 - People who have asked or want to ask the above question to someone in their life.
I sit squarely in group one. So much so that as I read this portion of the book, it conjured up images in my mind of Byas sitting in the back seat of the car as my own wife asked those same questions of me, almost word for word. Not only that, but Byas articulated the very problem I had in providing an answer. I didn’t know how to verbalize the changes because I wasn’t sure I understood them myself. The short answer could have been, “Well, I guess I just believe love matters more than some of the things I used to feel strongly about, and I think Jesus would agree.”
Byas takes 200 pages to fit together just exactly what happens as people reconstruct the pieces of their otherwise shattered Christian evangelical faith. As we learned to love truly, we gained the ability to learn new ideas about the Bible, the world, and the relationship between the two. If you fit into category one, this book will likely help you understand the ways in which this has happened for you.
I also recognize that there are people I love and that love me who have not experienced the same changes in their own faith. They fall into group two. I trust these people want to understand me. If I thought it was fair to answer their question by simply buying and handing them a book, this would be the one (much to the pleasure of Byas, his family, and Zondervan I’m sure!) At the very least the book will be a good tool for you to understand what your friend or loved one has experienced or might now be thinking.
So buy this book twice. Once for yourself, and once for your confused friend!
Admittedly, I am embarrassingly late in holding up my end of the bargain. My guilt is somewhat alleviated by the fact that I also pre-ordered a hard copy of the book after reading the first chapter. It’s one I want to have sitting on my shelf, not just taking up space in my cloud.
My struggle with writing the review is that I had trouble finding a way to be concise. I was having difficulty placing aside my own positive reaction to the book to consider how others might receive Byas’s words. Alas, it comes down to this:
I believe there are two groups of people who will find this book helpful. Group placement is determined by how a person might relate to the following quote - some questions - from the book:
“What’s been going on with you? You used to be so passionate about God, the Bible and what you believe. You used to stand up for truth, and now you seem so wishy-washy.”
Group breakdown is as follows:
Group 1 - People who have been asked the above question or asked it of themself.
Group 2 - People who have asked or want to ask the above question to someone in their life.
I sit squarely in group one. So much so that as I read this portion of the book, it conjured up images in my mind of Byas sitting in the back seat of the car as my own wife asked those same questions of me, almost word for word. Not only that, but Byas articulated the very problem I had in providing an answer. I didn’t know how to verbalize the changes because I wasn’t sure I understood them myself. The short answer could have been, “Well, I guess I just believe love matters more than some of the things I used to feel strongly about, and I think Jesus would agree.”
Byas takes 200 pages to fit together just exactly what happens as people reconstruct the pieces of their otherwise shattered Christian evangelical faith. As we learned to love truly, we gained the ability to learn new ideas about the Bible, the world, and the relationship between the two. If you fit into category one, this book will likely help you understand the ways in which this has happened for you.
I also recognize that there are people I love and that love me who have not experienced the same changes in their own faith. They fall into group two. I trust these people want to understand me. If I thought it was fair to answer their question by simply buying and handing them a book, this would be the one (much to the pleasure of Byas, his family, and Zondervan I’m sure!) At the very least the book will be a good tool for you to understand what your friend or loved one has experienced or might now be thinking.
So buy this book twice. Once for yourself, and once for your confused friend!
January 15, 2023
Jared Byas is onto something here. Something timely and powerful. I think it’s worth the time of those who call themselves Christians to listen up.
May 16, 2021
Enjoyed early, but started to question theology; whether over-correcting the emphasis on truth instead of love, and in the process, if not minimizing truth, then downgrading it to a degree I am not comfortable with.
July 23, 2023
I love love love this book. Approachable, challenging, poetic. It really turns the Christian faith’s priorities on its head but uses own Jesus’ teachings and actions to do it. Definitely want to revisit and bookclub with the ideas!
September 7, 2020
I read an advanced reader copy of this book, provided to me by the book launch team. I finished reading it three weeks ago, so this is not a “fresh” review so much as 1) what still stands out to me after 3 weeks and 2) what stands out to me from the few notes I jotted down as I read.
Big picture, Byas reflects on what it means to “speak the truth in love,” a phrase from the Bible (Ephesians 4:15) that gets thrown around a lot in Christian circles. Byas warns against elevating truth OVER love, or against weaponizing truth by saying something like, “Well, it’s just the loving thing to tell the truth here…” Byas notes that “truth people” usually tend to conveniently think they happen to know the (absolute?) truth and that “If you feel you possess absolute truth, then this book is not for you.” As his title says, he thinks love matters more. We might say love is a necessary precondition to truth or truth-telling. To speak the truth in love you have to be “in love,” or else you’re doing it wrong.
Byas points out that we all engage the world from a particular “umwelt” (“OOM-velt”), a word that can readily be added to your vocabulary list if it isn’t already. (Basically, it’s the way you experience the world as a result of who you are, what you’ve gone through, what abilities you have, etc.)
Byas is helpful in distinguishing kinds of truth: fact truth (what would be true if no one existed… water would still be H20), meaning truth (requires people), and wisdom truth (also requires people).
Byas’s overarching thesis that “love matters more” agrees with Augustine’s hermeneutic of love, which Byas does (finally?) bring up about 140 pages in. Augustine built this hermeneutic on the thesis that reading the Bible should increase one’s love of God and neighbo(u)r (sorry, I’m an American living in Ontario): you can get the Bible “correct,” but if your reading doesn’t increase your love of God and others you’re actually getting it wrong. And, conversely, you can understand the Bible incorrectly, but if your reading increases your love of God and others, then you’re actually getting it right. Kind of like Jesus’s comment on the “weightier matters”: the religious folks are being meticulous on some finer points of the Bible, but missing justice and mercy (Matthew 23:23).
So... in my opinion, Byas’s book is good. I like Jared’s work with Pete Enns on the Bible for Normal People podcast. I guess the questions I have are: is this just preaching to the choir? Everyone who shares Jared’s bias (see what I did there? I’m sure he’s heard it a thousand times) will agree with his book, and the “truth folks” who disagree will see it as more wishy washy swill that’s threatening the church (or something like that). So who’s this book really for? People who agree with Jared will probably be happy to read it—but they already agree. People who don’t agree will just get frustrated.
I sometimes wonder about books that are written from a basically “exvangelical” point of view: the ones that I’ve read seem to be implicitly “writing back” to evangelicals (or high-fiving other exvangelicals?). And I’m left wondering why. I keep trying to finish this paragraph, but it keeps going in directions that don’t really name the itch I feel as I read. So I’ll leave it as a half-baked thought.
Other thoughts. You might say the cultural references in the book are fairly predictable for the territory: Arrested Development, New Girl, Mumford and Sons. The book is written with a fair amount of chatty snark, which on one hand I share and appreciate, but on the other hand I find it gets old in books. To me, this works better in podcasts and blogs, but there comes a point where it lessens the quality and enjoyability of a book (maybe I’m just stodgy though). Chattiness comes off as fluff; snark comes off as cheap shots. That’s not the bread and butter of this book, but there are some doses of it.
I was a little surprised to see Jared at one point quote from the ESV and also to see him quote Tim Keller once. Maybe trying to throw a bone to a certain crowd? I’m not sure, but it at least caught my attention.
The book is quite “American” (I say that from the high ground of being an American living in Ontario. I’m so cosmopolitan now. Darn, there’s that snark I was deriding.).
One peripheral interest to me is from a publisher perspective. Zondervan is not Moody or Crossway, but I still don’t think of them as particularly progressive (some books I’ve read from them, including from their “popular” level commentary series, are rather fundamental-leaning.) Is Zondervan trying to be more progressive? Byas’s book contains the word “bullshit” (in a quote, but still). Byas is open and affirming on LGBTQ+ issues. He cheerfully writes, “The show Queer Eye is a good example of this trust in God” (184). Byas also writes, “People regularly ask me what I believe about God the Bible. My response is as genuine as I can muster: I don’t know” (141). None of this is surprising coming from Byas to those familiar with him. But is it surprising coming from Zondervan? Are they reaching for a less evangelical audience? Is this old news and I’m behind on what they’re up to? I wonder what you think.
Big picture, Byas reflects on what it means to “speak the truth in love,” a phrase from the Bible (Ephesians 4:15) that gets thrown around a lot in Christian circles. Byas warns against elevating truth OVER love, or against weaponizing truth by saying something like, “Well, it’s just the loving thing to tell the truth here…” Byas notes that “truth people” usually tend to conveniently think they happen to know the (absolute?) truth and that “If you feel you possess absolute truth, then this book is not for you.” As his title says, he thinks love matters more. We might say love is a necessary precondition to truth or truth-telling. To speak the truth in love you have to be “in love,” or else you’re doing it wrong.
Byas points out that we all engage the world from a particular “umwelt” (“OOM-velt”), a word that can readily be added to your vocabulary list if it isn’t already. (Basically, it’s the way you experience the world as a result of who you are, what you’ve gone through, what abilities you have, etc.)
Byas is helpful in distinguishing kinds of truth: fact truth (what would be true if no one existed… water would still be H20), meaning truth (requires people), and wisdom truth (also requires people).
Byas’s overarching thesis that “love matters more” agrees with Augustine’s hermeneutic of love, which Byas does (finally?) bring up about 140 pages in. Augustine built this hermeneutic on the thesis that reading the Bible should increase one’s love of God and neighbo(u)r (sorry, I’m an American living in Ontario): you can get the Bible “correct,” but if your reading doesn’t increase your love of God and others you’re actually getting it wrong. And, conversely, you can understand the Bible incorrectly, but if your reading increases your love of God and others, then you’re actually getting it right. Kind of like Jesus’s comment on the “weightier matters”: the religious folks are being meticulous on some finer points of the Bible, but missing justice and mercy (Matthew 23:23).
So... in my opinion, Byas’s book is good. I like Jared’s work with Pete Enns on the Bible for Normal People podcast. I guess the questions I have are: is this just preaching to the choir? Everyone who shares Jared’s bias (see what I did there? I’m sure he’s heard it a thousand times) will agree with his book, and the “truth folks” who disagree will see it as more wishy washy swill that’s threatening the church (or something like that). So who’s this book really for? People who agree with Jared will probably be happy to read it—but they already agree. People who don’t agree will just get frustrated.
I sometimes wonder about books that are written from a basically “exvangelical” point of view: the ones that I’ve read seem to be implicitly “writing back” to evangelicals (or high-fiving other exvangelicals?). And I’m left wondering why. I keep trying to finish this paragraph, but it keeps going in directions that don’t really name the itch I feel as I read. So I’ll leave it as a half-baked thought.
Other thoughts. You might say the cultural references in the book are fairly predictable for the territory: Arrested Development, New Girl, Mumford and Sons. The book is written with a fair amount of chatty snark, which on one hand I share and appreciate, but on the other hand I find it gets old in books. To me, this works better in podcasts and blogs, but there comes a point where it lessens the quality and enjoyability of a book (maybe I’m just stodgy though). Chattiness comes off as fluff; snark comes off as cheap shots. That’s not the bread and butter of this book, but there are some doses of it.
I was a little surprised to see Jared at one point quote from the ESV and also to see him quote Tim Keller once. Maybe trying to throw a bone to a certain crowd? I’m not sure, but it at least caught my attention.
The book is quite “American” (I say that from the high ground of being an American living in Ontario. I’m so cosmopolitan now. Darn, there’s that snark I was deriding.).
One peripheral interest to me is from a publisher perspective. Zondervan is not Moody or Crossway, but I still don’t think of them as particularly progressive (some books I’ve read from them, including from their “popular” level commentary series, are rather fundamental-leaning.) Is Zondervan trying to be more progressive? Byas’s book contains the word “bullshit” (in a quote, but still). Byas is open and affirming on LGBTQ+ issues. He cheerfully writes, “The show Queer Eye is a good example of this trust in God” (184). Byas also writes, “People regularly ask me what I believe about God the Bible. My response is as genuine as I can muster: I don’t know” (141). None of this is surprising coming from Byas to those familiar with him. But is it surprising coming from Zondervan? Are they reaching for a less evangelical audience? Is this old news and I’m behind on what they’re up to? I wonder what you think.
October 26, 2023
Food for thought.
May 2, 2025
I liked this book so much. I wish every person who calls themselves a Jesus follower would read it.
May 12, 2023
I have heard Jarad Byars on the podcast, The Bible for Normal People and recently heard him interviewed by Pete Briscoe on his new podcast, KindaVangelical. My interest was piqued and I saw that he had written this book.
I listened to him narrate the book, which I thought was very good. No heavy theology, but many Bible passages are included. I really appreciate his perspective. His basic premise boils down to in all situations, love matters more - loving your neighbor - enemy or friend. He greatly advocates to treat others as Jesus would. Now that’s a simple theology that I can get behind!
I listened to him narrate the book, which I thought was very good. No heavy theology, but many Bible passages are included. I really appreciate his perspective. His basic premise boils down to in all situations, love matters more - loving your neighbor - enemy or friend. He greatly advocates to treat others as Jesus would. Now that’s a simple theology that I can get behind!
Read
May 14, 2022I went into this book knowing I would agree with the main premise. I think he makes a lot of good points and addresses something that is a big pitfall for Christians, especially in the conservative evangelical realm that I grew up in. I personally think he took the argument a little too far and straddled the line of justifying changing the scriptures for your agenda more than I was comfortable with. Once upon a time I would have thrown out everything because I didn’t fully agree, but I have become more comfortable in gray space and feel equipped to take the wisdom I see and leave the rest. One thing to note is that about halfway through he started mentioning gay rights a lot, and I kind of felt like I had been manipulated into reading his argument for gay rights when I thought I had been reading a more general treatise on love vs truth. So that was frustrating. But overall, I think he has a lot of good to say and this is a message that the church needs to pay attention to.
November 3, 2023
This book is a guide on how to avoid talking about truths written in the Bible and just focusing only on love. You can tell Byas has a very, very low view of Scripture by reading through the book. He definitely doesn’t believe it has any authority at all which gives him the permission to rewrite and twist Scripture to make it say what it wants to get his point across.
Byas writes that you can never know absolute truth (13). Is that an absolute truth statement Jared? Sure sounds like one. Sure sounds like he contradicted himself with that statement right off the bat. His low view of Scripture comes into focus right away when he states the Bible has no absolute truth in it (17-18). He states absolute truth is getting to know everything there is to know about the world. I think Jesus was in a position to have that information, you know, being God and all. So therefore having and reading the Scriptures that have teachings of Jesus and his Holy Spirit guided apostles is knowing the absolute truth. Saying anything else is a cop out in order to do whatever you want.
Byas writes the Bible is a book of wisdom just like Proverbs. It RARELY gives us moral certainties (42). So it seems Byas believes the Bible does give us moral certainties and rules. Yes the Bible has wisdom but there are also moral certainties and rules as Byas stated. He considers people who look to the Bible as God’s word making it an idol. This a talking point I hear a lot from progressives about making the Bible an idol. I have never seen any one worship the Bible as an idol. They worship the one who the Bible points to, Jesus. There is a clear difference and he knows that. It’s just a good talking point for him to try and get you to make sure you also have a low view of Scripture as well.
Byas writes that there are ALMOST NO places in the Bible where it endorses a view of truth as “believing the right doctrine.” (70) “Almost no”, is not a never statement Jared, which means there ARE places where the Bible does endorse it. Just because something might only be mentioned a few times in Scripture over other things doesn’t mean it’s less important. If it’s in the Scripture it’s important, no matter how many times it’s mentioned.
Byas goes on to talk about deeds and what we believe by saying “we’ve duped ourselves into thinking that what we believe is more important than how we believe” (71). He believes “how“ is more important than “what”. No, neither one is more important than the other. They are both equally important.
Byas writes about Jesus eating with tax collectors and sinners (75). Although he doesn’t mention the word “sinners” he puts it as people that disagree with him (Jesus) at a fundamental political and moral level. It’s a fancy way of saying sinner. Whatever you decide to call who those people were, you think Jesus didn’t share the truth of the Gospel with them at that meal? You think he didn’t call them to repentance like other times he’s done in the Gospels? Do you think that after that meal they didn’t change their wrong beliefs (repent)? He showed “showing truth in love” by sitting down with them for a meal, being gracious, and loving as well as sharing the truth of the Gospel. Lives were changed at that meal.
Byas’ view of sharing truth in love is showing love with no truth. He states “the call of Christianity is to imitate Jesus” (77). I totally agree!! Although Byas is only concerned with imitating the love parts and nothing else Jesus did. That’s a cheap imitation of Jesus!
He takes 1 John 1:6 out of context (80) by making it about truth being love in action. However, what’s the actual action John is writing about? In context this is talking about not walking in sin. That’s the action, but you won’t hear that from Byas. What’s the truth? It’s the not walking in sin part not the talking about love. I agree that actions of love are needed but if love is all they get then it’s not truly loving the person if there is no truth. It’s not either/or, it’s both. Byas continually forgets that truth isn’t only just action but that’s all he wants to focus on. Truth is also a noun that means in reality, in fact, certainly.
Byas talks about how the truth sets you free and how giving up rules set him free. Well of course you feel free because you are giving your flesh all that it wants. It’s a false freedom. “For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.” Romans 8:13. True freedom is found in giving everything to Jesus.
Byas takes the parable of talents (106) way out of context by saying it’s about how we read the Bible and turning it into something new and different. Wow, sounds like the old pastor in him coming out by finding a topic and using a verse out of context to fit his topic. Just stick to the context of the passage.
Byas states, that Hosea 11:1 is not a prophesy for Matthew 2:13-15 (111). He’s correct that Hosea 11:1 is not a Messianic prophecy in the same way that prophecies such as Isaiah 9:6 are. Rather, it is a pictorial prophecy; that is, there are similarities in the Old Testament passage to a New Testament truth about Christ. This Old Testament “picture” of Christ is called a “type.” Matthew 2:15 can be seen as an analogy. Matthew is providing a connection between Jesus and God’s people of promise. As a Jew writing for primarily Jewish readers, Matthew found it important to point out many of the similarities between the nation of Israel and their Messiah, the One to fulfill the Prophets.
Byas goes on to write about the sermon on the mount (112) and tries to make it say Jesus took things and made something new. No, he took things and kept the same principle but made it even harder to do. Jared wants to take something and make them say something completely different so it fits what he wants to believe. This book gets way further into heresy the longer it goes (114). Jesus had the authority from God to up the ante. We don’t have the authority to do that or make it say something different. However, it seems Byas thinks he’s God or Jesus and has the authority to change the meaning of the Bible based on what he perceives love means (123). He justifies his authority by saying Jesus said he (Byas) has the Spirit of truth to guide him into all the truth (125). Jared should learn to read scripture in context like he tells others to do. If he did then he would know this is a descriptive text and not a prescriptive one. This was spoken to and for the disciples for the immediate work ahead for them, not so Jared can feel he has the authority to rewrite scripture because he believes he has the Spirit in him. In this context, guiding into the truth was simply a purpose for which the Holy Spirit was sent to empower and equip the disciples for the work ahead. Also, just to add a note about the “the” part of the verse, it’s not ALL truth it’s THE truth. What truth is that? You’ll have to look again at that pesky context. There is a specific truth to which He (Jesus) is referring, and the Holy Spirit would guide them into that. Specifically, the Spirit would reveal what the Son and the Father would have Him disclose (John 16:13–15)—things about Jesus (John 16:14). Say it with me, descriptive not prescriptive. I can’t make Jeremiah 29:11 be about my plans because in context it was about Israel’s plans.
In chapter 7 Byas takes the liberty of creating his own verses and states anyone can do this by the power of the “spirit”. What spirit? Definitely not the Holy Spirit. Byas say this is the Jesus formula, “You have heard that it was said…But I tell you.” Then goes and butchers what Jesus actually was doing by combining a verse he doesn’t like and adding a verse he likes and calling it a new revelation. No thats called twisting the scripture to make it say what you want. Jesus didn’t do that in any of those “You have heard that it was said” statements. He actually made it harder. For example, anger is murder (Matt 5:21-22), lust is actually adultery (v27), etc . Complete heresy in this chapter and total disrespect to Jesus words.
It’s fitting to me that he writes about the section of scripture about “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15-16) (156) and leaves out v14 where it reads “Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth.” This verse is basically Paul warning us about people like Byas. A person who is cunning and skilled at deceitful scheming that’s teaching false doctrine which in turn will stunt the growth of believers. Then he (Byas) conveniently skips over important verses down to v25. What does he skip over? Let’s take a look: “Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.” (v21-24) Wow look at that! What is the fact-truth (as Byas calls it (27)) mentioned? Throwing off your old sinful nature and former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception, and put on their new nature to be righteous and holy. So that’s the truth we are to speak to our neighbors. But do so in love. Interesting what you find when you read things in full context instead of pulling out the parts that fit your narrative.
Here is one of those almost statements again (175). Say’s “Jesus has ALMOST nothing to say about believing the wrong things according to Matthew”. So Byas confirms that Jesus does say something about right beliefs. Its funny throughout this book how Byas continues do to that with these “almost” statements. Like I said before just because things are only mentioned a few times in Scriptures it doesn’t make it any less important.
Saddest part to me is at the end when he had a conversation with his wife (198) that he is not interested in standing for truth and he doesn’t think he’s compromising with the world. Sorry Jared, but you did and continue to do just that and now you give people horrible theology. Theology that says they can live as they are and never follow any truth of Jesus if it hurts their feelings. I agree that Christians have gotten it wrong by not showing love in the way they show the truth of what’s in Scripture. However, the remedy isn’t throwing away that truth and just “loving” people by never discussing any truth with them. What Byas misses in this whole book is that it’s both. It’s being that loving neighbor, loving them where they are in life, not being a jerk to them, be a friend first, AND also sharing the truth of the Scripture as Jesus and the apostles wrote. You don’t just throw the truth away and call that love. As Byas writes, as stated in Scripture, that it rains on the just and unjust as well does the sun shines on both. It’s called common grace. However, at the end of life, that grace will be removed from those that didn’t trust in Jesus and didn’t show that trust by following his words. Wouldn’t it be unloving of us to keep the truth of Scripture from people and allow them to be separated from God forever? Jesus matters more than anything else. Loving like Jesus is sharing the truth he shared in love.
Throughout the book Byas wants you to understand it’s not about right beliefs. He’s wrong because it IS about one belief, it’s the believing rather trusting in Jesus. When you truly do that, your life is going to start reflecting the nature of Jesus. If you say you trust and believe in Jesus and your life continues to look like that of the world then you aren’t trusting in Jesus and his words. You aren’t truly loving him (John 14:15). It’s not just checking off the box saying I believe in Jesus and then moving on living the life as you did or how the world without Jesus does. No, your life should change. You shouldn’t want to keep living as the world does. Jesus and those that knew his teachings spent a lot of time talking about eternal life and sin. If that wasn’t also important, all they would talk about was love as Byas does in this book. I agree love is very important but also trusting in Jesus’ truth is as well. The problem with progressives like Byas is that they want to keep their worldly nature and tag Jesus onto it. Then they spend all their time trying to justify it by twisting scripture and taking it out of context. That’s all this book has done, take the Scripture and use it to justify that you can live the life as your flesh wants. Then if you tell me I’m wrong you don’t love me. Loving people isn’t letting them sit in their own and the world’s filth. It’s pointing them to Jesus and the truth. You can do that in a loving way but just because you don’t affirm their sin it doesn’t mean you don’t love that person.
Byas makes a living by “teaching” that you can’t read the Bible out of context and make it say whatever we want it to. However, he spends the whole book doing just that. There is a lot more I could say about other parts of this book but I’ve already made this review extremely long and I apologize for that if you actually made it this far. I almost couldn’t finish this book because it made me sick in my spirit and stomach reading through it. However a good thing about reading this book is that I can see a little how progressives like Byas arrive at the thinkings they do. By treating the Bible with no authority as well as twisting and adding to it as they desire. I’m glad I was able to find this book at the library so I didn’t have to spend any money on it.
Byas writes that you can never know absolute truth (13). Is that an absolute truth statement Jared? Sure sounds like one. Sure sounds like he contradicted himself with that statement right off the bat. His low view of Scripture comes into focus right away when he states the Bible has no absolute truth in it (17-18). He states absolute truth is getting to know everything there is to know about the world. I think Jesus was in a position to have that information, you know, being God and all. So therefore having and reading the Scriptures that have teachings of Jesus and his Holy Spirit guided apostles is knowing the absolute truth. Saying anything else is a cop out in order to do whatever you want.
Byas writes the Bible is a book of wisdom just like Proverbs. It RARELY gives us moral certainties (42). So it seems Byas believes the Bible does give us moral certainties and rules. Yes the Bible has wisdom but there are also moral certainties and rules as Byas stated. He considers people who look to the Bible as God’s word making it an idol. This a talking point I hear a lot from progressives about making the Bible an idol. I have never seen any one worship the Bible as an idol. They worship the one who the Bible points to, Jesus. There is a clear difference and he knows that. It’s just a good talking point for him to try and get you to make sure you also have a low view of Scripture as well.
Byas writes that there are ALMOST NO places in the Bible where it endorses a view of truth as “believing the right doctrine.” (70) “Almost no”, is not a never statement Jared, which means there ARE places where the Bible does endorse it. Just because something might only be mentioned a few times in Scripture over other things doesn’t mean it’s less important. If it’s in the Scripture it’s important, no matter how many times it’s mentioned.
Byas goes on to talk about deeds and what we believe by saying “we’ve duped ourselves into thinking that what we believe is more important than how we believe” (71). He believes “how“ is more important than “what”. No, neither one is more important than the other. They are both equally important.
Byas writes about Jesus eating with tax collectors and sinners (75). Although he doesn’t mention the word “sinners” he puts it as people that disagree with him (Jesus) at a fundamental political and moral level. It’s a fancy way of saying sinner. Whatever you decide to call who those people were, you think Jesus didn’t share the truth of the Gospel with them at that meal? You think he didn’t call them to repentance like other times he’s done in the Gospels? Do you think that after that meal they didn’t change their wrong beliefs (repent)? He showed “showing truth in love” by sitting down with them for a meal, being gracious, and loving as well as sharing the truth of the Gospel. Lives were changed at that meal.
Byas’ view of sharing truth in love is showing love with no truth. He states “the call of Christianity is to imitate Jesus” (77). I totally agree!! Although Byas is only concerned with imitating the love parts and nothing else Jesus did. That’s a cheap imitation of Jesus!
He takes 1 John 1:6 out of context (80) by making it about truth being love in action. However, what’s the actual action John is writing about? In context this is talking about not walking in sin. That’s the action, but you won’t hear that from Byas. What’s the truth? It’s the not walking in sin part not the talking about love. I agree that actions of love are needed but if love is all they get then it’s not truly loving the person if there is no truth. It’s not either/or, it’s both. Byas continually forgets that truth isn’t only just action but that’s all he wants to focus on. Truth is also a noun that means in reality, in fact, certainly.
Byas talks about how the truth sets you free and how giving up rules set him free. Well of course you feel free because you are giving your flesh all that it wants. It’s a false freedom. “For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.” Romans 8:13. True freedom is found in giving everything to Jesus.
Byas takes the parable of talents (106) way out of context by saying it’s about how we read the Bible and turning it into something new and different. Wow, sounds like the old pastor in him coming out by finding a topic and using a verse out of context to fit his topic. Just stick to the context of the passage.
Byas states, that Hosea 11:1 is not a prophesy for Matthew 2:13-15 (111). He’s correct that Hosea 11:1 is not a Messianic prophecy in the same way that prophecies such as Isaiah 9:6 are. Rather, it is a pictorial prophecy; that is, there are similarities in the Old Testament passage to a New Testament truth about Christ. This Old Testament “picture” of Christ is called a “type.” Matthew 2:15 can be seen as an analogy. Matthew is providing a connection between Jesus and God’s people of promise. As a Jew writing for primarily Jewish readers, Matthew found it important to point out many of the similarities between the nation of Israel and their Messiah, the One to fulfill the Prophets.
Byas goes on to write about the sermon on the mount (112) and tries to make it say Jesus took things and made something new. No, he took things and kept the same principle but made it even harder to do. Jared wants to take something and make them say something completely different so it fits what he wants to believe. This book gets way further into heresy the longer it goes (114). Jesus had the authority from God to up the ante. We don’t have the authority to do that or make it say something different. However, it seems Byas thinks he’s God or Jesus and has the authority to change the meaning of the Bible based on what he perceives love means (123). He justifies his authority by saying Jesus said he (Byas) has the Spirit of truth to guide him into all the truth (125). Jared should learn to read scripture in context like he tells others to do. If he did then he would know this is a descriptive text and not a prescriptive one. This was spoken to and for the disciples for the immediate work ahead for them, not so Jared can feel he has the authority to rewrite scripture because he believes he has the Spirit in him. In this context, guiding into the truth was simply a purpose for which the Holy Spirit was sent to empower and equip the disciples for the work ahead. Also, just to add a note about the “the” part of the verse, it’s not ALL truth it’s THE truth. What truth is that? You’ll have to look again at that pesky context. There is a specific truth to which He (Jesus) is referring, and the Holy Spirit would guide them into that. Specifically, the Spirit would reveal what the Son and the Father would have Him disclose (John 16:13–15)—things about Jesus (John 16:14). Say it with me, descriptive not prescriptive. I can’t make Jeremiah 29:11 be about my plans because in context it was about Israel’s plans.
In chapter 7 Byas takes the liberty of creating his own verses and states anyone can do this by the power of the “spirit”. What spirit? Definitely not the Holy Spirit. Byas say this is the Jesus formula, “You have heard that it was said…But I tell you.” Then goes and butchers what Jesus actually was doing by combining a verse he doesn’t like and adding a verse he likes and calling it a new revelation. No thats called twisting the scripture to make it say what you want. Jesus didn’t do that in any of those “You have heard that it was said” statements. He actually made it harder. For example, anger is murder (Matt 5:21-22), lust is actually adultery (v27), etc . Complete heresy in this chapter and total disrespect to Jesus words.
It’s fitting to me that he writes about the section of scripture about “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15-16) (156) and leaves out v14 where it reads “Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth.” This verse is basically Paul warning us about people like Byas. A person who is cunning and skilled at deceitful scheming that’s teaching false doctrine which in turn will stunt the growth of believers. Then he (Byas) conveniently skips over important verses down to v25. What does he skip over? Let’s take a look: “Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.” (v21-24) Wow look at that! What is the fact-truth (as Byas calls it (27)) mentioned? Throwing off your old sinful nature and former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception, and put on their new nature to be righteous and holy. So that’s the truth we are to speak to our neighbors. But do so in love. Interesting what you find when you read things in full context instead of pulling out the parts that fit your narrative.
Here is one of those almost statements again (175). Say’s “Jesus has ALMOST nothing to say about believing the wrong things according to Matthew”. So Byas confirms that Jesus does say something about right beliefs. Its funny throughout this book how Byas continues do to that with these “almost” statements. Like I said before just because things are only mentioned a few times in Scriptures it doesn’t make it any less important.
Saddest part to me is at the end when he had a conversation with his wife (198) that he is not interested in standing for truth and he doesn’t think he’s compromising with the world. Sorry Jared, but you did and continue to do just that and now you give people horrible theology. Theology that says they can live as they are and never follow any truth of Jesus if it hurts their feelings. I agree that Christians have gotten it wrong by not showing love in the way they show the truth of what’s in Scripture. However, the remedy isn’t throwing away that truth and just “loving” people by never discussing any truth with them. What Byas misses in this whole book is that it’s both. It’s being that loving neighbor, loving them where they are in life, not being a jerk to them, be a friend first, AND also sharing the truth of the Scripture as Jesus and the apostles wrote. You don’t just throw the truth away and call that love. As Byas writes, as stated in Scripture, that it rains on the just and unjust as well does the sun shines on both. It’s called common grace. However, at the end of life, that grace will be removed from those that didn’t trust in Jesus and didn’t show that trust by following his words. Wouldn’t it be unloving of us to keep the truth of Scripture from people and allow them to be separated from God forever? Jesus matters more than anything else. Loving like Jesus is sharing the truth he shared in love.
Throughout the book Byas wants you to understand it’s not about right beliefs. He’s wrong because it IS about one belief, it’s the believing rather trusting in Jesus. When you truly do that, your life is going to start reflecting the nature of Jesus. If you say you trust and believe in Jesus and your life continues to look like that of the world then you aren’t trusting in Jesus and his words. You aren’t truly loving him (John 14:15). It’s not just checking off the box saying I believe in Jesus and then moving on living the life as you did or how the world without Jesus does. No, your life should change. You shouldn’t want to keep living as the world does. Jesus and those that knew his teachings spent a lot of time talking about eternal life and sin. If that wasn’t also important, all they would talk about was love as Byas does in this book. I agree love is very important but also trusting in Jesus’ truth is as well. The problem with progressives like Byas is that they want to keep their worldly nature and tag Jesus onto it. Then they spend all their time trying to justify it by twisting scripture and taking it out of context. That’s all this book has done, take the Scripture and use it to justify that you can live the life as your flesh wants. Then if you tell me I’m wrong you don’t love me. Loving people isn’t letting them sit in their own and the world’s filth. It’s pointing them to Jesus and the truth. You can do that in a loving way but just because you don’t affirm their sin it doesn’t mean you don’t love that person.
Byas makes a living by “teaching” that you can’t read the Bible out of context and make it say whatever we want it to. However, he spends the whole book doing just that. There is a lot more I could say about other parts of this book but I’ve already made this review extremely long and I apologize for that if you actually made it this far. I almost couldn’t finish this book because it made me sick in my spirit and stomach reading through it. However a good thing about reading this book is that I can see a little how progressives like Byas arrive at the thinkings they do. By treating the Bible with no authority as well as twisting and adding to it as they desire. I’m glad I was able to find this book at the library so I didn’t have to spend any money on it.
June 13, 2021
A must read for anyone who has ever struggled with or wrestled with how it is that we understand (and recover) a Chrsit like love in the midst of so much theological difference and infighting within the Church. There have been plenty who have made the centrality of love in defining what the Christian faith is, few though who have engaged the discussion with as much clarity and ease and charitability. This is supremely accessible, which is a part of what makes it to so vital and necessary for dialogue and personal growth.
I'll get this out of the way upfront. Jared Byas has I would say one obvious achilles heel when it comes to his convictions and his argumenation, and its the same one that spills over into the great work he does on the bible for normal people podcast. To be clear, this doesn't make what he says wrong, nor does it detract from the equally great insights found in the pages of this book. It's just an observation, and its one that defines his particular biases and perhaps limits his ability to teach from the breadth scholarship that I think would only serve to reinforce is most basic points. That achilles heel is his over reliance on the irreconciliability of scripture when it comes to speaking the "truth" part of love. Yes, I know, he repeats numerous times that his basic approach requires him to say "I don't know", but the very basis of his argumentation flows from making concrete claims about the relationship between truth and scripture and how that functions.
This becomes most apparent in the middle section where he spends time making a case from scripture for how scripture it is the Jesus and others actually "change" the meaning of scripture over time (which leads into his understanding of the Chirstian vocation as one that necessarily creates new meanings from our present context). The problem I think is not the base level assertation (which I think is good and helpful towards understanding the necessry action of recontextualization), the problem is that his exegesis is poor, which has the effect of undermining his claims. It makes his argument dependent on these necessary contradicitions and changes in meaning, so much so that if scholarship were to challenge his exegisis it leaves his premise on a shaky foundation, opening up critics to then reemphasize their calls for "certainty" over humility. Many of the sciptural examples he uses to try and show how meanings change with future audiencs and authors within scripture itself are unfortunately dumbing down those texts reading them without much in the way of context, and certainly fails to interact with theologians and scholars who would (and could) demonstrate the richness of those texts and the larger narrative to which they belong with different nuances and inights. I don't think they demonstrate change as much as they demonstrate the way in which these patterned stories were applied to new contexts.
The real danger also comes from the notion of "narrative" as well. Here Jared Byas betrays some of his own depency on very modern rhetoric and reliance on "progressive" terminology. The argument he makes seems to demand at least a partial, if not wholesale allegiance to an "evolutionary" approach to theology as opposed to a revelatory approach centered around Jesus (from which we can then get a definition for love itself). He reads history with the same kind of progressive assumptions that a neo-darwinist might make in assuming a linear representation of biological evolution (which sees evolution perfecting and bettering itself as it goes). Not only does this rest his later call towards humility and the helpful embrace of uncertainty on an assumption that his view is better than the old view simply on the basis that we live today with more information and an evolved sense of mind and social systems, it collapses in on itself once you try and parse out his claims on the "spirits work" (which I full embrace) from his proclomations of "created meaning" rather than given meaning. Yes, love for him is the constant and the measure (fully agree), but that love, he presupposes, holds greater or superior expression today than it held for the ancients. For proof he upholds his examples fo the Bibles contradictory voice (for example, his efforts to demonstrate Paul as someone who gets some of his morals right and some of them wrong. I think this is a poor way to understand Paul and to demonstrate his writings and how they should be read in proper context). You can't demonstrate the necessary humility and love you are arguing for if you are working from the kind of assumptions that see modern society as somehow more aware and more attune to this love than the ancient world. You will just end up with the same problem that modernists have created with the whole enlightenment era exercise, which outside of the Church demonstrates itself consistently through a lack of love and humility. It is common place for someone looking to discredit the notion of God, Christianity and scripture to pull out a verse and say "see, look what it says about God" without actually saying anyhing about that verse and the narrative in which it belongs. It's bad form, poor argumentation and necessarily divise when it comes from outside of the Church. Equally so when you are making those claims from within the Church itself.
Which is the same frustration I sometimes come to with the podcast. I love their work, listen all the time, and have gained much from their guests and their topics. But they do have a tendency to need to protect this notion of a messy, contradictory, problematic, and difficult to reconcile scripture at all costs, sometimes to the detriment of their own arguments (a favorite one is stating the two creation accounts as if that represents a serious problem and makes their point and hasn't been unpacked and explored by plenty of great scholarship within the narrative of Genesis), and even worse sometimes to the detriment of their guests opinions and argmentation.
That aside, this was basically a long preamble to also say, if you can anicipate some of those tendencies this is really an incredible book that I think every Christian needs to read. It is written to and for a Christian audience, and if you are someone who has been hurt by the Church's abuses in the past this can be an incredibly healing process. If you are someone willing to hear how the Church, and perhaps you as a particpant in Church community (which really should apply to all of us... we have all done poor at the stuff his book talks about in some form or another along the way), this book could very well be transformative and also healing.
This is the kind of book you read and immediately want to put in the hands of a friend or a loved one so that you can talk about it. And given that conversation is a big part of learning what it means to speak truth in love, that's precisely what should be expected.
I'll get this out of the way upfront. Jared Byas has I would say one obvious achilles heel when it comes to his convictions and his argumenation, and its the same one that spills over into the great work he does on the bible for normal people podcast. To be clear, this doesn't make what he says wrong, nor does it detract from the equally great insights found in the pages of this book. It's just an observation, and its one that defines his particular biases and perhaps limits his ability to teach from the breadth scholarship that I think would only serve to reinforce is most basic points. That achilles heel is his over reliance on the irreconciliability of scripture when it comes to speaking the "truth" part of love. Yes, I know, he repeats numerous times that his basic approach requires him to say "I don't know", but the very basis of his argumentation flows from making concrete claims about the relationship between truth and scripture and how that functions.
This becomes most apparent in the middle section where he spends time making a case from scripture for how scripture it is the Jesus and others actually "change" the meaning of scripture over time (which leads into his understanding of the Chirstian vocation as one that necessarily creates new meanings from our present context). The problem I think is not the base level assertation (which I think is good and helpful towards understanding the necessry action of recontextualization), the problem is that his exegesis is poor, which has the effect of undermining his claims. It makes his argument dependent on these necessary contradicitions and changes in meaning, so much so that if scholarship were to challenge his exegisis it leaves his premise on a shaky foundation, opening up critics to then reemphasize their calls for "certainty" over humility. Many of the sciptural examples he uses to try and show how meanings change with future audiencs and authors within scripture itself are unfortunately dumbing down those texts reading them without much in the way of context, and certainly fails to interact with theologians and scholars who would (and could) demonstrate the richness of those texts and the larger narrative to which they belong with different nuances and inights. I don't think they demonstrate change as much as they demonstrate the way in which these patterned stories were applied to new contexts.
The real danger also comes from the notion of "narrative" as well. Here Jared Byas betrays some of his own depency on very modern rhetoric and reliance on "progressive" terminology. The argument he makes seems to demand at least a partial, if not wholesale allegiance to an "evolutionary" approach to theology as opposed to a revelatory approach centered around Jesus (from which we can then get a definition for love itself). He reads history with the same kind of progressive assumptions that a neo-darwinist might make in assuming a linear representation of biological evolution (which sees evolution perfecting and bettering itself as it goes). Not only does this rest his later call towards humility and the helpful embrace of uncertainty on an assumption that his view is better than the old view simply on the basis that we live today with more information and an evolved sense of mind and social systems, it collapses in on itself once you try and parse out his claims on the "spirits work" (which I full embrace) from his proclomations of "created meaning" rather than given meaning. Yes, love for him is the constant and the measure (fully agree), but that love, he presupposes, holds greater or superior expression today than it held for the ancients. For proof he upholds his examples fo the Bibles contradictory voice (for example, his efforts to demonstrate Paul as someone who gets some of his morals right and some of them wrong. I think this is a poor way to understand Paul and to demonstrate his writings and how they should be read in proper context). You can't demonstrate the necessary humility and love you are arguing for if you are working from the kind of assumptions that see modern society as somehow more aware and more attune to this love than the ancient world. You will just end up with the same problem that modernists have created with the whole enlightenment era exercise, which outside of the Church demonstrates itself consistently through a lack of love and humility. It is common place for someone looking to discredit the notion of God, Christianity and scripture to pull out a verse and say "see, look what it says about God" without actually saying anyhing about that verse and the narrative in which it belongs. It's bad form, poor argumentation and necessarily divise when it comes from outside of the Church. Equally so when you are making those claims from within the Church itself.
Which is the same frustration I sometimes come to with the podcast. I love their work, listen all the time, and have gained much from their guests and their topics. But they do have a tendency to need to protect this notion of a messy, contradictory, problematic, and difficult to reconcile scripture at all costs, sometimes to the detriment of their own arguments (a favorite one is stating the two creation accounts as if that represents a serious problem and makes their point and hasn't been unpacked and explored by plenty of great scholarship within the narrative of Genesis), and even worse sometimes to the detriment of their guests opinions and argmentation.
That aside, this was basically a long preamble to also say, if you can anicipate some of those tendencies this is really an incredible book that I think every Christian needs to read. It is written to and for a Christian audience, and if you are someone who has been hurt by the Church's abuses in the past this can be an incredibly healing process. If you are someone willing to hear how the Church, and perhaps you as a particpant in Church community (which really should apply to all of us... we have all done poor at the stuff his book talks about in some form or another along the way), this book could very well be transformative and also healing.
This is the kind of book you read and immediately want to put in the hands of a friend or a loved one so that you can talk about it. And given that conversation is a big part of learning what it means to speak truth in love, that's precisely what should be expected.
January 31, 2022
This was a quick and easy read. I appreciated his thoughts about how we can become more Christlike by focusing on loving rather than truth-telling. And the irony is that, ultimately, love is truth. Yet, he examines how we need to beware of the idol of certainty, which can keep us from the true humility that it takes to love like Christ.
From my background in the LDS faith tradition, some of the things he discussed applied in different ways. For instance, I didn't feel like I was raised with as much of a harsh focus on "speak the truth in love" as he describes from his Christian background. However, some of the implications of true Christlike love are different for the LDS context, where we haven't made as much progress on women's equality within the church. For instance, he talks about how 'when we know better, we do better,' and once they recognized that the fruits of excluding women from congregational leadership positions were not good, loving, or true, then the church changed their actions for the better. He discusses how a similar focus on Christlike love can help us better approach the question of gay marriage from a Christian perspective--another topic which applies to the LDS context.
Here are some of my favorite quotes:
“It is interesting that those who do believe we can access absolute truth almost always also believe they are the ones who possess it.”
“Without humility, there can be no love.”
“Whatever else it is in the Christian tradition, if it is not loving, it is not true, and it is not wise.”
[After an etymological discussion about how the Hebrew word for truth is translated differently in different verses...] “There is no tension between truth and love in the Bible. Because if we look closely at how the Bible actually talks about love, there is significant overlap, almost to the point that they cannot be separated.”
“The real scandal of the Biblical God is not who gets excluded but who gets included.”
From my background in the LDS faith tradition, some of the things he discussed applied in different ways. For instance, I didn't feel like I was raised with as much of a harsh focus on "speak the truth in love" as he describes from his Christian background. However, some of the implications of true Christlike love are different for the LDS context, where we haven't made as much progress on women's equality within the church. For instance, he talks about how 'when we know better, we do better,' and once they recognized that the fruits of excluding women from congregational leadership positions were not good, loving, or true, then the church changed their actions for the better. He discusses how a similar focus on Christlike love can help us better approach the question of gay marriage from a Christian perspective--another topic which applies to the LDS context.
Here are some of my favorite quotes:
“It is interesting that those who do believe we can access absolute truth almost always also believe they are the ones who possess it.”
“Without humility, there can be no love.”
“Whatever else it is in the Christian tradition, if it is not loving, it is not true, and it is not wise.”
[After an etymological discussion about how the Hebrew word for truth is translated differently in different verses...] “There is no tension between truth and love in the Bible. Because if we look closely at how the Bible actually talks about love, there is significant overlap, almost to the point that they cannot be separated.”
“The real scandal of the Biblical God is not who gets excluded but who gets included.”
July 30, 2021
In his book, Love matters more, Jared Byas takes great exception to the way Christians use the phrase to “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). Quoting many examples where Christians have clearly been less than loving in the way they have used the truth.
Byas writes in an easy-to-read, down-to-earth style. He uses illustrations, biblical instruction and personal examples to explain why he believes it’s more important to be loving than speaking the truth to people. Some of his reasons are: we may not actually be speaking God’s truth but rather stating our own opinions, our relationship with the person may not be sufficiently mature enough to share challenging truth, telling people the truth isn’t an effective way of changing behaviour, and we aren’t sufficiently clear about what Paul meant when he wrote these words.
If we genuinely want to change people’s behaviour the best way to do so, is to first accept them as they are because it’s love and acceptance that change behaviour, not policing people’s actions.
Jared stresses the difference between speaking truth and actually living out what we believe. He asks, “What does it matter to the world and the people around me if I check off ‘belief in Jesus’ resurrection’ as a fact but it doesn’t inform how I live my life?"
At times I felt Byas overstated the problem, but overall, he makes a good point. A thought-provoking read.
Byas writes in an easy-to-read, down-to-earth style. He uses illustrations, biblical instruction and personal examples to explain why he believes it’s more important to be loving than speaking the truth to people. Some of his reasons are: we may not actually be speaking God’s truth but rather stating our own opinions, our relationship with the person may not be sufficiently mature enough to share challenging truth, telling people the truth isn’t an effective way of changing behaviour, and we aren’t sufficiently clear about what Paul meant when he wrote these words.
If we genuinely want to change people’s behaviour the best way to do so, is to first accept them as they are because it’s love and acceptance that change behaviour, not policing people’s actions.
Jared stresses the difference between speaking truth and actually living out what we believe. He asks, “What does it matter to the world and the people around me if I check off ‘belief in Jesus’ resurrection’ as a fact but it doesn’t inform how I live my life?"
At times I felt Byas overstated the problem, but overall, he makes a good point. A thought-provoking read.
September 8, 2020
I first heard Jared in his podcast with Peter Enns, The Bible For Normal People and always enjoyed his take about the topic, whether it be good questions for their guest or even perspectives he’d bring up in the solo podcasts they’d have every once in a while. So when I heard he had a book coming out, I knew I wanted to read it.
I joined the book launch team and got an advanced copy of the book (thanks Zondervan!) and I enjoyed it very much. Jared brings good perspective from his journey of growing up in a more conservative church to his time in seminary and pastoring and teaching.
The thing that stuck out to me was the discussion around “speaking the truth in love”. We often use this as an excuse to share harsh truth with someone in hopes that they’d change their behavior or their opinion that’s obviously wrong. But what if we remain humble enough to accept that we don’t have all the answers?
Jared drives home the point (and perfect timing with elections upcoming and all the injustice that’s all around us) that we must remember that love matters more than our right opinion or our right interpretation of Scripture. It hit me hard in several areas, especially when my opinionated self gets going, it can get me in a bad place. This will be a book to go back to when we forget that “Love Matters More”. (Which will be often in my case...) How I treat my loved ones, the trolls on the internet, and especially those crazy uncles with weird political opinions will matter more than being right.
I joined the book launch team and got an advanced copy of the book (thanks Zondervan!) and I enjoyed it very much. Jared brings good perspective from his journey of growing up in a more conservative church to his time in seminary and pastoring and teaching.
The thing that stuck out to me was the discussion around “speaking the truth in love”. We often use this as an excuse to share harsh truth with someone in hopes that they’d change their behavior or their opinion that’s obviously wrong. But what if we remain humble enough to accept that we don’t have all the answers?
Jared drives home the point (and perfect timing with elections upcoming and all the injustice that’s all around us) that we must remember that love matters more than our right opinion or our right interpretation of Scripture. It hit me hard in several areas, especially when my opinionated self gets going, it can get me in a bad place. This will be a book to go back to when we forget that “Love Matters More”. (Which will be often in my case...) How I treat my loved ones, the trolls on the internet, and especially those crazy uncles with weird political opinions will matter more than being right.
January 8, 2025
I have been learning to loosen my grip on my desire for certainty for many years. In my experience, the fear and doubt that accompany this process gradually give way to a sense of freedom and peace that my old understanding of "knowing" could never provide. As a result, my faith has grown more expansive, inclusive, and radically compassionate, which ultimately feels closer to what Jesus modeled. In this book, Jared Byas shares experiences he had along his own, similar journey, and uses the insight he gained from them to present a practical way forward for modern Christians. I found it engaging and encouraging, and it's all based on Jesus' own assertion: Truth is important, but love matters more.
August 28, 2020
I know Jared Byas as the co-host (with Pete Enns) of the oft recommended podcast "The Bible for Normal People". As someone who grew up in that whole "speak the truth in love" tradition that put *way* more emphasis on the "truth" part than the "love" part, I was interested to see what Byas would do with this "truth" vs "love" conundrum.
Spoiler alert... He doesn't pit truth and love against each other, he uses supporting scripture to show how they work hand in hand, and along the way shows what Christianity really is and what the Christian's main goal should be.
This is an engaging yet challenging book. It challenged *me*. If you are trying to find a new way of truly loving as Christ did, I recommend this book.
I received an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest opinion, which I am always happy to provide. Thank you to the author and publisher for this opportunity!
Spoiler alert... He doesn't pit truth and love against each other, he uses supporting scripture to show how they work hand in hand, and along the way shows what Christianity really is and what the Christian's main goal should be.
We may consider some of what they do to be "sinful" according to our beliefs. But beliefs aren't what we are charged with pursuing. All the Law and the Prophets do not hang on calling out people's sins in the name of standing up for the truth. Jesus says that literally nowhere. All the Law and the Prophets hang on loving God and loving our neighbor as ourselves...
This is an engaging yet challenging book. It challenged *me*. If you are trying to find a new way of truly loving as Christ did, I recommend this book.
I received an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest opinion, which I am always happy to provide. Thank you to the author and publisher for this opportunity!
September 13, 2020
An important read, especially in today’s climate. There’s a lot here to ponder and revisit. I read this during a time where I’ve come to a crossroads with a friend, after one tough conversation, but before a follow-up that needs to happen. I know this book will help me reframe that next conversation and I hope I can approach it from a place of love above all else.
Thanks to the publisher and the book launch team for the advanced reader copy.
Thanks to the publisher and the book launch team for the advanced reader copy.
January 25, 2022
Book Review: Love Matters More by Jared Byas.
If there was ever a book that I wish I had written myself, this would be it.
In a world where everyone is so concerned with being "right," Jared Byas reminds us that love matters more.
He shows us how focusing on orthodoxy (correct thinking), particularly in Christian circles, is much more prevalent than orthopraxis (correct living). While solid doctrine is a good thing, when it gets in the way of loving God and our neighbour, then we run into serious problems.
Byas shows how some people use the concept of love to do very unloving things, such as using particular verses of the bible out of context to share their opinions by "speaking the truth in love."
He reminds us that if we truly want to follow Jesus' example, then love has to be the most important thing.
If there was ever a book that I wish I had written myself, this would be it.
In a world where everyone is so concerned with being "right," Jared Byas reminds us that love matters more.
He shows us how focusing on orthodoxy (correct thinking), particularly in Christian circles, is much more prevalent than orthopraxis (correct living). While solid doctrine is a good thing, when it gets in the way of loving God and our neighbour, then we run into serious problems.
Byas shows how some people use the concept of love to do very unloving things, such as using particular verses of the bible out of context to share their opinions by "speaking the truth in love."
He reminds us that if we truly want to follow Jesus' example, then love has to be the most important thing.
May 9, 2022
4.5 stars! Jared Byas helps explain what it is like to begin to move from defending right belief through speaking truth in love, to being willing to love our neighbors as ourselves—no matter who they are or what they believe. Great book for those who want to begin the journey of healing the divide that’s so prevalent in our country right now.
October 19, 2022
This is one of the most important books I’ve ever read. It helps that I’ve been on this journey for a while to understand the importance of loving over being right. I’ve glimpsed bits and pieces over the years as I’ve struggled with my own beliefs, but this book brought it all home for me. Thank you, Jared.
March 18, 2024
Finished listening and now I’m going to buy an actual copy. Prophetic, grounded in Scripture and helpful. He literally identified the reasons that brought me to stepping away from an actual church. But before I stand in judgment of that group… or rather, time to stop standing in judgment.. This book helps to find a place to love those that hold a perspective that is different from my own. Now to start considering that when it comes to people who hold other political views.
January 31, 2021
Enjoyed Jared's thought on how "speaking the truth in love" is often times not done in a loving way. I think this book shows how things aren't as black and white as they are made out to be all the time but we should always seek to love as the end goal even if that changes in how we do so overtime.
May 3, 2024
Wow. This book has helped me in two important ways: 1. Confirming that I am on the right faith-path; boosting my shaky confidence that I am not simply conforming to the ways of the world. 2. Showing me that I still have a way to go on my journey
March 16, 2025
This book was a healing balm to my heart and soul after reading How The Bible Actually Works turned my faith upside down. Love Matters More grounded me and reminded me what truly matters most: love.
*Read with HAT Book Club*
*Read with HAT Book Club*
December 27, 2020
I absolutely love this book. I found myself agreeing out loud with Jared Byas as he wrote about what it means to genuinely love.
May 23, 2023
Written by different authors this book, Love Matters More, and Unoffendable dovetail together perfectly. Here, Author Jared Byas, uses life lessons and biblical passages the basic message of Christ Love is the point, full stop. This simple message is often missed or at least is adequately conveyed in churches I’ve attended. While it was an easy listen, I think this book would be better read in order to better pause and reflect on the details of what the author is saying.
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