What to Say to Kids When Nothing Seems to Work: A Practical Guide for Parents and Caregivers

by Adele LaFrance, Ashley P. Miller

*Finalist for Best Overall Non-Fiction and Best Parenting & Family Book in the 2020 International Book Awards!* What to Say to Kids When Nothing Seems to Work offers parents an effective, step-by-step guide to some of the most common struggles for kids aged 5–12. Written by mental health professionals with over 30 years’ experience listening to kids’ thoughts and feelings, this book provides a framework to explore new ways of responding to your child that will help them calm down faster and boost their resilience to stress. With a dose of humor and plenty of real-life examples, the authors will guide you to "build a bridge" into your child’s world to make sense of their emotions and behavior. Sample scenarios and scripts are provided for you to customize based on your caregiving style and your child’s personality. These are then followed by concrete support strategies to help you manage current and future situations in a way that leaves everyone feeling better. Chapters are organized by common kid-related issues so you can quickly find what’s relevant to you. Suitable for parents, grandparents, and other caregivers of children and pre-teens, as well as professionals working closely with families, What to Say to Kids When Nothing Seems to Work is an accessible resource for efficiently navigating the twists, turns, and sometimes total chaos of life with kids.

Genres: Psychology, Parenting

274 pages, Paperback

Published February 24, 2020

Reviews

[Ivy Digest · Rating 2 out of 5]

What kid ever followed a plan or a script? While the principle of empathy is sound, the use of a script is absurd. I tried this on my kids and we all laughed. I delayed reviewing this because I found it unfeasible but I gave it another chance. Still the same.

There are nuggets of wisdom but the scripts are ridiculous. No harassed parent has time to go through this rigmarole every time the kid doesn't want to cooperate. It's presumptuous to impose a script that's supposed to solve a misbehavior for ages 5-12. The authors may be credentialed but that doesn't mean their parenting advice is practical.
@IvyDigest

[Dan Z · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ivy - the idea behind secure interventions (scripts) is that they may take longer up front but they are more attuned to your child's needs vs your needs, meaning your child will feel more secure and bonded with you over time and therefore will become more cooperative (love and trust) vs compliant (fear and shame). You can say "I know my child loves me" but what kind of love is it? Yes, children love their parents, but if you treat your child more like a burden than a delight, that's what they will come to believe about self and other. Said another way, your child will come to treat herself the way you think about her.

[Alicia Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book for parents or anyone that deals with kids on a daily basis. Reframing our thoughts and questions for more meaningful conversations.

[Sami Miz · Rating 3 out of 5]

3/5 stars.

I have found this book to be super helpful when talking with parents and helping to connect with my younger clients. It helps me to understand how to speak their language and get on their level.