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Carnival of Heaven
'Carnival of Heaven' is a combination of memoir and fiction, rooted around my true story of surviving T-cell leukemia.
"For weeks Ryan has been feeling fatigued, dizzy, and confused. The doctors say
it’s just the flu, but for some reason, his mom isn’t convinced. It’s hard to blame her;
he’s been sleeping so often lately that Awesome Waters, the world of his dreams,
has become more real than the one in which he lives. Yet, even Awesome Waters isn’t
the cheerful escape it once was. Ominous clouds have taken over the luminous skies
of his imaginary theme park, ushering in a masked, sinister ringmaster who’s dead
set on rendering Awesome Waters to ashes.
Back in reality, Ryan finds himself in a hospital, where he and his family receive
a far graver diagnosis than the simple flu—cancer. Ryan has T-cell leukemia. Mom,
Dad, his brother, and Grandma: they all do their best to help him through the
chemotherapy and operations. But despite their love, Ryan’s light begins to flicker.
The ringmaster explains how he will fall entirely into that darkness unless Ryan can
solve the mystery of the ringmaster’s appearance. If Ryan can before time runs out,
then the strength to fight for his future will be his to command."
"For weeks Ryan has been feeling fatigued, dizzy, and confused. The doctors say
it’s just the flu, but for some reason, his mom isn’t convinced. It’s hard to blame her;
he’s been sleeping so often lately that Awesome Waters, the world of his dreams,
has become more real than the one in which he lives. Yet, even Awesome Waters isn’t
the cheerful escape it once was. Ominous clouds have taken over the luminous skies
of his imaginary theme park, ushering in a masked, sinister ringmaster who’s dead
set on rendering Awesome Waters to ashes.
Back in reality, Ryan finds himself in a hospital, where he and his family receive
a far graver diagnosis than the simple flu—cancer. Ryan has T-cell leukemia. Mom,
Dad, his brother, and Grandma: they all do their best to help him through the
chemotherapy and operations. But despite their love, Ryan’s light begins to flicker.
The ringmaster explains how he will fall entirely into that darkness unless Ryan can
solve the mystery of the ringmaster’s appearance. If Ryan can before time runs out,
then the strength to fight for his future will be his to command."
- GenresFiction
442 pages, Paperback
Published September 12, 2019
4 people are currently reading
1631 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
July 18, 2020
Disclaimer: Ryan Patrick Olson the author kindly sent me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Carnival of Heaven is part memoir, part epic YA adventure and part philosophical guide. In so many ways it is difficult to separate the fantasy from the reality, and the reality is that the hero of this story is Ryan, a kid who has been diagnosed with T-cell leukemia. He's a pretty normal kid with two loving parents, a little brother named Shawn, and a fondness for a Dungeons and Dragons type game called Conqueror's Quest. He's also really into video games, owns a stuffed toy platypus and is looking forward to Christmas and his upcoming birthday party. In this devastatingly beautiful book the author tells the story of his cancer journey and also takes the reader on another kind of journey into the world of magic and dreams, where curious creations and talking animals are still not as frightening as real life.
In real life Ryan is admitted to hospital, and is understandably terrified. He is lucky to have a very loving and supportive family constantly with him, and to be taken care of by Dr. Azikiwe and Vicki, a nurse. At night though while asleep in his hospital bed with his toy platypus Webber, Ryan finds himself 'waking up' inside an amusement park that he once dreamed about and helped build with his mom. Once upon a time Ryan created Awesome Waters, a park that was friendly and fun and he would wake up and talk about it with his mother who would then help him draw up the blueprints for this magical place. However now that Ryan is sick he doesn't appear to be in the same place, and instead finds himself wandering around a dark and sinister park run by Lyman, a frightening looking man in a ghostly mask who refers to himself as The Harbinger of Despair. Lyman and his sidekick, Petey, a hard-drinking and chain-smoking rat, are very quick to inform Ryan that the Awesome Waters he created and once found solace in is no longer the same water park it once was when he was healthy. Lyman calls it The Carnival of Heaven, and in here Ryan sees his future and it is a very scary place.
In this nightmarish carnival Webber, Ryan's toy platypus, can talk, and together they plan to fight Lyman and Petey and figure out what exactly became of the once Awesome Waters. In the real world Ryan is battling chemotherapy, losing his appetite and becoming weaker and weaker. Inside the Carnival Lyman and Petey threaten him with violent and terrifying rides, and continuously mock his friendship with Webber who refers to himself as Ryan's Guardian of Hope in this strange new life of his.
"Not a fan of the spotlight? Well, if you can't stand it now, I'd give up. Surviving leukemia means a lifetime under the microscope"
As months pass and Ryan loses weight and his hair, and also hope, he also gains a friend in the form of another young boy named Michael who also has leukemia. The two share a room and quickly become friends and this is mostly due to Michael's general good nature and genuine belief in their mutual recovery. Ryan tells Michael all about the Carnival of Heaven, and they spend hours discussing it whilst playing video games and vowing to be friends when this is all over. Despite Michael's positivity and his family's support and love, Ryan is not entirely convinced that he will get better and his interactions with Lyman and Petey become darker and rather morbid. During his time in the hospital he has lost faith in himself and in his ability to get better, and refuses to discuss the carnival with his family because he fears this will just disappoint them.
Olson's novel blends the realities of being a child treated for cancer in a hospital and the affects this has on the families of sick children, with the psychological creation of a dream-scenario in which much like in fairy tales the main character is the hero that needs to defeat the villains thrown in his path. In this case Lyman and Petey represent a frightening mystery that only Ryan can solve. In the Carnival of Heaven every day is a chance to learn something new about not only his relationship with others but also to learn about his relationship with himself, and as a kid this is not an easy thing to do.
Olson's writing is impeccable, and his talent for story-telling is extraordinary as he creates a world for himself that will ultimately be a place not just for healing, but also for readers to acknowledge the power of the imagination, and how important that is even when we are growing up. His story is important and I felt honored to take that journey with him in Carnival of Heaven, and to learn that magic and faith are still just as important now as they were when our favorite toys were our best friends. An incredible story about love, faith, hope, friendship and the power of imagination and the role it plays in healing our hearts and our gentle (and extraordinary) human bodies.
".... suffering is not unique, but rather a universal constant. No matter what you've been through, there are countless others going through the same - or worse. Some live, others die, but in the end, what do our actions accomplish? Is everything we do on this planet meaningless? Are our lives to begin with hope, decay to suffering, and inevitably end in despair?
Carnival of Heaven is part memoir, part epic YA adventure and part philosophical guide. In so many ways it is difficult to separate the fantasy from the reality, and the reality is that the hero of this story is Ryan, a kid who has been diagnosed with T-cell leukemia. He's a pretty normal kid with two loving parents, a little brother named Shawn, and a fondness for a Dungeons and Dragons type game called Conqueror's Quest. He's also really into video games, owns a stuffed toy platypus and is looking forward to Christmas and his upcoming birthday party. In this devastatingly beautiful book the author tells the story of his cancer journey and also takes the reader on another kind of journey into the world of magic and dreams, where curious creations and talking animals are still not as frightening as real life.
In real life Ryan is admitted to hospital, and is understandably terrified. He is lucky to have a very loving and supportive family constantly with him, and to be taken care of by Dr. Azikiwe and Vicki, a nurse. At night though while asleep in his hospital bed with his toy platypus Webber, Ryan finds himself 'waking up' inside an amusement park that he once dreamed about and helped build with his mom. Once upon a time Ryan created Awesome Waters, a park that was friendly and fun and he would wake up and talk about it with his mother who would then help him draw up the blueprints for this magical place. However now that Ryan is sick he doesn't appear to be in the same place, and instead finds himself wandering around a dark and sinister park run by Lyman, a frightening looking man in a ghostly mask who refers to himself as The Harbinger of Despair. Lyman and his sidekick, Petey, a hard-drinking and chain-smoking rat, are very quick to inform Ryan that the Awesome Waters he created and once found solace in is no longer the same water park it once was when he was healthy. Lyman calls it The Carnival of Heaven, and in here Ryan sees his future and it is a very scary place.
In this nightmarish carnival Webber, Ryan's toy platypus, can talk, and together they plan to fight Lyman and Petey and figure out what exactly became of the once Awesome Waters. In the real world Ryan is battling chemotherapy, losing his appetite and becoming weaker and weaker. Inside the Carnival Lyman and Petey threaten him with violent and terrifying rides, and continuously mock his friendship with Webber who refers to himself as Ryan's Guardian of Hope in this strange new life of his.
"Not a fan of the spotlight? Well, if you can't stand it now, I'd give up. Surviving leukemia means a lifetime under the microscope"
As months pass and Ryan loses weight and his hair, and also hope, he also gains a friend in the form of another young boy named Michael who also has leukemia. The two share a room and quickly become friends and this is mostly due to Michael's general good nature and genuine belief in their mutual recovery. Ryan tells Michael all about the Carnival of Heaven, and they spend hours discussing it whilst playing video games and vowing to be friends when this is all over. Despite Michael's positivity and his family's support and love, Ryan is not entirely convinced that he will get better and his interactions with Lyman and Petey become darker and rather morbid. During his time in the hospital he has lost faith in himself and in his ability to get better, and refuses to discuss the carnival with his family because he fears this will just disappoint them.
Olson's novel blends the realities of being a child treated for cancer in a hospital and the affects this has on the families of sick children, with the psychological creation of a dream-scenario in which much like in fairy tales the main character is the hero that needs to defeat the villains thrown in his path. In this case Lyman and Petey represent a frightening mystery that only Ryan can solve. In the Carnival of Heaven every day is a chance to learn something new about not only his relationship with others but also to learn about his relationship with himself, and as a kid this is not an easy thing to do.
Olson's writing is impeccable, and his talent for story-telling is extraordinary as he creates a world for himself that will ultimately be a place not just for healing, but also for readers to acknowledge the power of the imagination, and how important that is even when we are growing up. His story is important and I felt honored to take that journey with him in Carnival of Heaven, and to learn that magic and faith are still just as important now as they were when our favorite toys were our best friends. An incredible story about love, faith, hope, friendship and the power of imagination and the role it plays in healing our hearts and our gentle (and extraordinary) human bodies.
".... suffering is not unique, but rather a universal constant. No matter what you've been through, there are countless others going through the same - or worse. Some live, others die, but in the end, what do our actions accomplish? Is everything we do on this planet meaningless? Are our lives to begin with hope, decay to suffering, and inevitably end in despair?
July 21, 2020
I was sent a copy of this book for review.
This was a tough read from the start as it deals with what the author went through as a child when he was diagnosed with T-Cell Leukaemia.
This story is a tale of two parts. One is set in the real world where we see how the ravages of Leukaemia had physical repercussions on Ryan and had severe effects on Ryan's diminishing mental health. The real world story is full of emotional rollercoasters due to the pain and suffering that Ryan goes through. He feels alone and adrift as no one seems to be telling him the truth about his illness or his chances of survival.
The second story is set in Ryan's dreams. Once a wonderful place populated by a fabulous and happy water world theme park called Awesome Waters, has now been corrupted by a character called Lyman. Lynam and his side kick Peety demolish Awesome Waters and create a dark and sinister carnival. Ryan's guide, Webber, tries to help him through the trials he receives from Lynam and his minions and provide moral support. Ryan must get past all these hurdles in order to figure out why Lynam has appeared and how to defeat him. The battles that rage in both worlds stem from Ryan’s heart-breaking feelings of loss, mortality and his lack of belief in his chances of staying alive. The dream world is an expression of Ryan's subconscious as it processes his illness and deals with the internal conflicts he feels about his possible death.
I give it 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 as it is a beautifully crafted, raw portrayal of a child’s fight against very adult realities of life, death and personal loss. Ryan created a stunning dream world, with vivid imagery and complex characters. Ryan takes us through the horrific experience but one that never diminished his creativity. He also lovingly shows us his wonderful family - how they helped him get through his treatments and gave him the strength to believe in his survival. This was a difficult read with many tears on my part but also lots of smiles and laughter. Ryan is a gifted writer and one I hope to read more from in the future.
This was a tough read from the start as it deals with what the author went through as a child when he was diagnosed with T-Cell Leukaemia.
This story is a tale of two parts. One is set in the real world where we see how the ravages of Leukaemia had physical repercussions on Ryan and had severe effects on Ryan's diminishing mental health. The real world story is full of emotional rollercoasters due to the pain and suffering that Ryan goes through. He feels alone and adrift as no one seems to be telling him the truth about his illness or his chances of survival.
The second story is set in Ryan's dreams. Once a wonderful place populated by a fabulous and happy water world theme park called Awesome Waters, has now been corrupted by a character called Lyman. Lynam and his side kick Peety demolish Awesome Waters and create a dark and sinister carnival. Ryan's guide, Webber, tries to help him through the trials he receives from Lynam and his minions and provide moral support. Ryan must get past all these hurdles in order to figure out why Lynam has appeared and how to defeat him. The battles that rage in both worlds stem from Ryan’s heart-breaking feelings of loss, mortality and his lack of belief in his chances of staying alive. The dream world is an expression of Ryan's subconscious as it processes his illness and deals with the internal conflicts he feels about his possible death.
I give it 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 as it is a beautifully crafted, raw portrayal of a child’s fight against very adult realities of life, death and personal loss. Ryan created a stunning dream world, with vivid imagery and complex characters. Ryan takes us through the horrific experience but one that never diminished his creativity. He also lovingly shows us his wonderful family - how they helped him get through his treatments and gave him the strength to believe in his survival. This was a difficult read with many tears on my part but also lots of smiles and laughter. Ryan is a gifted writer and one I hope to read more from in the future.
November 10, 2019
**I received a physical copy of this book for free from the author in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.**
To start, this book is deep and dark. We follow Ryan as he finds out he has T-cell leukemia and his journey throughout cancer treatment. We also follow his journey through this dream world he visits each time he sleeps. This dream world starts as a very happy fun amusement park, but then turns into a very dark, sad, and scary nightmare world.
I thought that this was a really good story through the eyes of a child. It was hard at times to read Ryan going through the pain he was going through, but knowing it was real and his real experiences honestly made it harder to read.
The nightmare world was much darker than I expected it to be. I didn’t enjoy the chapters as much from the carnival, but I think it’s because I couldn’t really connect with the story as much in that world. I really enjoyed the chapters though from Ryan’s real life experiences.
Honestly, I felt like this novel is a bit too long. The carnival chapters lost me sometimes just because it felt very drawn out. But, the story had such a good meaning. It was so deep and dark. We all don’t understand what others go through, and this kid overcame so so much. A physical battle and a mental battle. I understand why he wrote it the way he did.
I did enjoy this book. I enjoyed it most, I think, because it was real. I was devastated by Ryan’s story and all the things he went through. I felt so much pain for him and his family. Mostly because it came from a personal place. I’ve never battled cancer personally or with a family member, but I’ve been in the hospital with my mom fighting for her life, so it brought back personal, raw feelings. But I appreciated that aspect of this book. I thought it was extremely brave. So brave of Ryan to write this story because I can’t imagine the pain he felt reliving this. I have serious respect for this author putting his personal life out there in this book. I think he did a really awesome job with it.
Review also posted here: https://katelynpdickinson.wordpress.c...
To start, this book is deep and dark. We follow Ryan as he finds out he has T-cell leukemia and his journey throughout cancer treatment. We also follow his journey through this dream world he visits each time he sleeps. This dream world starts as a very happy fun amusement park, but then turns into a very dark, sad, and scary nightmare world.
I thought that this was a really good story through the eyes of a child. It was hard at times to read Ryan going through the pain he was going through, but knowing it was real and his real experiences honestly made it harder to read.
The nightmare world was much darker than I expected it to be. I didn’t enjoy the chapters as much from the carnival, but I think it’s because I couldn’t really connect with the story as much in that world. I really enjoyed the chapters though from Ryan’s real life experiences.
Honestly, I felt like this novel is a bit too long. The carnival chapters lost me sometimes just because it felt very drawn out. But, the story had such a good meaning. It was so deep and dark. We all don’t understand what others go through, and this kid overcame so so much. A physical battle and a mental battle. I understand why he wrote it the way he did.
I did enjoy this book. I enjoyed it most, I think, because it was real. I was devastated by Ryan’s story and all the things he went through. I felt so much pain for him and his family. Mostly because it came from a personal place. I’ve never battled cancer personally or with a family member, but I’ve been in the hospital with my mom fighting for her life, so it brought back personal, raw feelings. But I appreciated that aspect of this book. I thought it was extremely brave. So brave of Ryan to write this story because I can’t imagine the pain he felt reliving this. I have serious respect for this author putting his personal life out there in this book. I think he did a really awesome job with it.
Review also posted here: https://katelynpdickinson.wordpress.c...
May 4, 2020
Carnival of Heaven might be for young adults but it absolutely captured my heart. It's vivid, gut wrenching, and beautiful. The strength and struggles in and outside Ryan are captivating, and his strength inspiring. I will warn you, you might tear up a bit, and you'll definitely lose track of time while reading this. Reader be warned, set aside hours once you start, because you won't want to stop reading this epic journey.
January 18, 2020
If anyone wants a great story about over coming fears, healing, family, and a spooky/amazing dream world, then you should check out this book. The character development is outstanding and it's interesting to be in the head of a child going through cancer treatments.
Highly reccomend.
Highly reccomend.
September 20, 2019
This book is very well written. You are taken into his life and you truly feel like you are part of what happens. Powerful and so insightful into all emotions during challenging times. A must read
September 23, 2019
This book is a great view into the child's perspective going through cancer treatments. The fantasy element is fascinating and dark and makes you think. Very well written and has a great message.
September 2, 2020
I have reviewed a lot of books over the years. Folk tales, mysteries. Space Operas. Heaps of fantasy novels. There have been several good stories among them. And nearly thrice as many bad. It is however the rare work that can squeeze any emotion out of my dark, dream crushing heart. Carnival of Heaven, a unique mix of memoir and fantasy by Ryan Olson, is one of these.
Ryan has been sick for weeks under what was assumed to be just the flu. But his mother is skeptical, and further tests reveal the worst: a rare form of Leukemia. What follows is a dramatic jaunt between fantasy and reality, as Ryan struggles to understand the destruction of his dreamworld, while dealing with his deteriorating physical and mental health. In his corner are his steadfast family, and Webber, a representation of hope wrapped up in the form of a platypus. Between dream and reality, they will help him face up to Lyman, the carnival ringmaster and host to the destruction of Ryan’s subconscious, and all the degradations of despair.
Olson masterfully shapes the narrative with a solid understanding of timing, human emotion, and whimsy. The text itself is smart, with great prose sprinkled in at just the right times – further illuminating the author’s skill. In addition, the dialogue is top tier, helping establish the characters as believable- even when based on real people, this is not always given – and distinguishable. While Ryan is at first hard to identify with, his anger and outburst serve a purpose, which become more apparent as the plot flows on. Furthermore, the fantasy elements are thrilling, and the interplay between them and the “real-world” aspect of the book is deep, and dark.
Carnival of Heaven is a raw, moving piece that deserves a lot of time for reflection. There were several scenes that were very touching, filled with gravitas, whimsy, or both as called for, but always handled with care. This is a rare five-star review for me, and I thank the author for sharing. In summary, Ryan Olson’s Carnival of Heaven is an outstanding piece of literary fiction that moved this reader, and surely will many others for years to come.
Ryan has been sick for weeks under what was assumed to be just the flu. But his mother is skeptical, and further tests reveal the worst: a rare form of Leukemia. What follows is a dramatic jaunt between fantasy and reality, as Ryan struggles to understand the destruction of his dreamworld, while dealing with his deteriorating physical and mental health. In his corner are his steadfast family, and Webber, a representation of hope wrapped up in the form of a platypus. Between dream and reality, they will help him face up to Lyman, the carnival ringmaster and host to the destruction of Ryan’s subconscious, and all the degradations of despair.
Olson masterfully shapes the narrative with a solid understanding of timing, human emotion, and whimsy. The text itself is smart, with great prose sprinkled in at just the right times – further illuminating the author’s skill. In addition, the dialogue is top tier, helping establish the characters as believable- even when based on real people, this is not always given – and distinguishable. While Ryan is at first hard to identify with, his anger and outburst serve a purpose, which become more apparent as the plot flows on. Furthermore, the fantasy elements are thrilling, and the interplay between them and the “real-world” aspect of the book is deep, and dark.
Carnival of Heaven is a raw, moving piece that deserves a lot of time for reflection. There were several scenes that were very touching, filled with gravitas, whimsy, or both as called for, but always handled with care. This is a rare five-star review for me, and I thank the author for sharing. In summary, Ryan Olson’s Carnival of Heaven is an outstanding piece of literary fiction that moved this reader, and surely will many others for years to come.
December 29, 2021
This book blends the gut wrenching reality of a child undergoing cancer treatment, with the elaborate dream world that he experiences when not awake. It is a compelling read and a very well written book!
May 29, 2025
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
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