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Why Soldiers Miss War: The Journey Home
Ask most combat veterans to name the worst experience of their lives, and they’ll probably tell you it was war. But ask them to choose the best experience of their life, and they’ll usually say it was war, too. For someone who has not been to war, this is nearly impossible to understand. The spectrum of emotions experienced by a combat veteran is far wider than that experienced in civilian life and for that reason it can be hard for a veteran to re-assimilate to civilian life. Ask a combat veteran about this, it’s a common feeling.
What is it about war that soldiers miss? This is a question that every civilian should try to understand. Weaving together a wide range of stories from the flight deck of a U.S. aircraft carrier off Syria to climbing a forbidden Himalayan pass into Tibet, this moving and insightful book explains one of the most everlasting human pursuits – war. But its focus isn’t solely war; it is also about coming home and confronting another kind of struggle, which we all share—the search for happiness.
In this collection, Peterson writes of war from the perspective of both a combatant and a witness taking the reader from combat missions over Afghanistan as an Air Force special operations pilot to the frontlines against ISIS in Iraq, and the trench and tank battles of the war in Ukraine. Interweaving his frontline reports with a narrative about his own transformation from a combat pilot to a war journalist, Peterson explores a timeless paradox – why does coming home from war feel like such a disappointment?
What is it about war that soldiers miss? This is a question that every civilian should try to understand. Weaving together a wide range of stories from the flight deck of a U.S. aircraft carrier off Syria to climbing a forbidden Himalayan pass into Tibet, this moving and insightful book explains one of the most everlasting human pursuits – war. But its focus isn’t solely war; it is also about coming home and confronting another kind of struggle, which we all share—the search for happiness.
In this collection, Peterson writes of war from the perspective of both a combatant and a witness taking the reader from combat missions over Afghanistan as an Air Force special operations pilot to the frontlines against ISIS in Iraq, and the trench and tank battles of the war in Ukraine. Interweaving his frontline reports with a narrative about his own transformation from a combat pilot to a war journalist, Peterson explores a timeless paradox – why does coming home from war feel like such a disappointment?
- GenresNonfiction
206 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 14, 2019
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76 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
August 6, 2022
“When the bullets are flying and shit starts blowing up, you’re not thinking about any of that duty, honor, country bullshit. You focus on taking care of your buddy next to you and making it out alive.”
A decade of war correspondence strung together chronologically with autobiographical bridge stories. many chapters start in the middle of their story, backtrack to the beginning, conclude the action, then close with some philosophic observation. War, he discovers, is very different in the foxhole than in the cockpit of an American combat aircraft.
'What incredible things people do, and what endless suffering they are willing to endure for freedom. It’s true, freedom isn’t free. It’s worth everything.'
Many insights into the nature of war and its impact on humans, but lots of repetition. Broadens our view to include non-soldiers, especially family and civilians, whose lives are torn apart through no fault or choice of their own. Full of memorable epigraphs. The framing story to all this is Peterson’s personal search for home and meaning.
'And I won’t let the world forget the good people who stood up for what was right when the world was at its worst. James [Foley] was one of those people, and I won’t forget his story.'
No, it’s not that good, but Peterson shares things you need to hear. Many sites he reported from during the first war in Ukraine have been overrun by Russia since. And the people? Who knows? His current articles may be found on Coffee or Die magazine of which he is senior editor.
'Our troops might not necessarily believe that the wars will be won anytime soon, but they all seemed to believe in what they were fighting for.'
(I’m prejudiced. I am a Vietnam, Cold, and Gulf Wars veteran. Scud impact hundreds of yards away was too close.)
A decade of war correspondence strung together chronologically with autobiographical bridge stories. many chapters start in the middle of their story, backtrack to the beginning, conclude the action, then close with some philosophic observation. War, he discovers, is very different in the foxhole than in the cockpit of an American combat aircraft.
'What incredible things people do, and what endless suffering they are willing to endure for freedom. It’s true, freedom isn’t free. It’s worth everything.'
Many insights into the nature of war and its impact on humans, but lots of repetition. Broadens our view to include non-soldiers, especially family and civilians, whose lives are torn apart through no fault or choice of their own. Full of memorable epigraphs. The framing story to all this is Peterson’s personal search for home and meaning.
'And I won’t let the world forget the good people who stood up for what was right when the world was at its worst. James [Foley] was one of those people, and I won’t forget his story.'
No, it’s not that good, but Peterson shares things you need to hear. Many sites he reported from during the first war in Ukraine have been overrun by Russia since. And the people? Who knows? His current articles may be found on Coffee or Die magazine of which he is senior editor.
'Our troops might not necessarily believe that the wars will be won anytime soon, but they all seemed to believe in what they were fighting for.'
(I’m prejudiced. I am a Vietnam, Cold, and Gulf Wars veteran. Scud impact hundreds of yards away was too close.)
June 18, 2023
It’s hard to know what to say. I’m not a soldier. But I relate so much to his feelings of otherness and the constant draw to go back even when it seems stupid and dangerous, because once you’ve tasted it, you’re not the same.
It was hard to read because of his experiences in Ukraine and what they predicted, how the awful things that he saw confined to the east now spread across that entire country. I so much relate to his feelings about Ukraine and that made it very intense and raw. He ends up living in Ukraine because he feels at home there and I understand why.
His experience extends to time spent around Tibet, and I learned some things I didn’t know about the history of that country.
Does the book answer the main question? Not exactly. It’s the story of one man’s restless wanderings following war. It could have been tighter, could have used a few more passes. Had several typos and formatting errors. But Nolan Peterson speaks with a clear, humble voice that I deeply appreciated. I found him on Twitter shortly after the 2022 war started and he has been a reliable source of information.
It’s heartbreaking that so many of his conclusions in this book were reopened when that war began. At the end of this book, he tells his Ukrainian wife that he is done with war, that he won’t go to the front lines anymore, but in 2022 (3 years after publish date) the front lines came to him. He sent his wife away to live in Europe and remained in Kyiv to report on the war.
Even though my experience is only a tiny tiny fraction of his, there is something relieving about being able to hold up my pain against his and see that someone else feels it too.
It was hard to read because of his experiences in Ukraine and what they predicted, how the awful things that he saw confined to the east now spread across that entire country. I so much relate to his feelings about Ukraine and that made it very intense and raw. He ends up living in Ukraine because he feels at home there and I understand why.
His experience extends to time spent around Tibet, and I learned some things I didn’t know about the history of that country.
Does the book answer the main question? Not exactly. It’s the story of one man’s restless wanderings following war. It could have been tighter, could have used a few more passes. Had several typos and formatting errors. But Nolan Peterson speaks with a clear, humble voice that I deeply appreciated. I found him on Twitter shortly after the 2022 war started and he has been a reliable source of information.
It’s heartbreaking that so many of his conclusions in this book were reopened when that war began. At the end of this book, he tells his Ukrainian wife that he is done with war, that he won’t go to the front lines anymore, but in 2022 (3 years after publish date) the front lines came to him. He sent his wife away to live in Europe and remained in Kyiv to report on the war.
Even though my experience is only a tiny tiny fraction of his, there is something relieving about being able to hold up my pain against his and see that someone else feels it too.
December 3, 2019
Nolan Peterson has put together a small window into what those who have experienced combat and survived feel on the subject.
They come in two segments the divide of those who have the despair of survivor’s guilt or have what Churchill is quoted of having said during Boer War: “Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.”
Granted Afghanistan and the Ukrainian battlefields are remotely different in composition, the first being small unit conflicts with occasional skirmishes and evading IED attacks and in Ukraine as Nolan recounts actual tank battles (not seen in Europe since WW2). There is a growing pathology of those returning from the battlefield who fall in those two camps. The side effect profiles are very similar.
In the United States the longest continuous war until 2001 was WW2. The Global War on terror was/is a war by “specialists”, it has a relentless pace of endless deployments for Special Operations Forces. The “War” has created fissures in the “community”. Many proponents of said forces have raised concerns that elite forces are stretched too thin, and that career members and most importantly, their support systems (families) are sacrificing too much for conflicts with no clear end. Divorces and suicides will do that to unit cohesion. Nolan lucked out, his better half probably made him chose the adrenaline rush or her, I think he chose wisely. Task Force Dagger is an organization that is trying to shepherd the “survivors” of this War into a semblance of normalcy that those with 8 tours will most likely never experience.
As the conventional fight peters out Special Operations Forces (Army Rangers, Army Special Forces, Navy SEALS, USMC Force Recon, Air Force Commando’s…) continue the relentless deployments. For these forces “The Mission” motivates these troops. The early perspective over the last few decades operationally was the occasional covert support mission in the 80’s/90’s mixed with relentless training. Those times are gone.
Presently it is nonstop, and has been since 9/11. Multiple theatres, same razor edge deployment. Those executing these missions craving the intense camaraderie that is impossible to replicate in CONUS military life, never mind civilian life. The reality is that people who join elite units, do not enlist to just train, but they also do not grow on trees either.
Nolan charts out his own motivation for his life of service in uniform and he tries to remind the reader of what is going on in the festering war in Eastern Europe/Ukraine. How in 2014 after the debacle in Kyiv with the Fall of the Yanukovych Government, the Russian Federation after seizing Crimea launched a conventional war in eastern Ukraine. Nolan explains that Ukrainians are fighting for intangible goals like freedom and democracy, and for the right to chart their own future free from Russian oppression. Curiously, when examined they are uniquely American values, and they see our country as a symbol for the kind of future they want to achieve for themselves and their children one day.
Western Europeans political leaders are frequently unable to answer that simple phrase “What are you willing to fight and die for”? Nolan quotes another journalist who spent some time observing war “If we win here, we win everywhere,” Ernest Hemingway wrote in his novel about the Spanish Civil War, “For Whom the Bell Tolls.” In terms of Ukraine, he's probably right.
They come in two segments the divide of those who have the despair of survivor’s guilt or have what Churchill is quoted of having said during Boer War: “Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.”
Granted Afghanistan and the Ukrainian battlefields are remotely different in composition, the first being small unit conflicts with occasional skirmishes and evading IED attacks and in Ukraine as Nolan recounts actual tank battles (not seen in Europe since WW2). There is a growing pathology of those returning from the battlefield who fall in those two camps. The side effect profiles are very similar.
In the United States the longest continuous war until 2001 was WW2. The Global War on terror was/is a war by “specialists”, it has a relentless pace of endless deployments for Special Operations Forces. The “War” has created fissures in the “community”. Many proponents of said forces have raised concerns that elite forces are stretched too thin, and that career members and most importantly, their support systems (families) are sacrificing too much for conflicts with no clear end. Divorces and suicides will do that to unit cohesion. Nolan lucked out, his better half probably made him chose the adrenaline rush or her, I think he chose wisely. Task Force Dagger is an organization that is trying to shepherd the “survivors” of this War into a semblance of normalcy that those with 8 tours will most likely never experience.
As the conventional fight peters out Special Operations Forces (Army Rangers, Army Special Forces, Navy SEALS, USMC Force Recon, Air Force Commando’s…) continue the relentless deployments. For these forces “The Mission” motivates these troops. The early perspective over the last few decades operationally was the occasional covert support mission in the 80’s/90’s mixed with relentless training. Those times are gone.
Presently it is nonstop, and has been since 9/11. Multiple theatres, same razor edge deployment. Those executing these missions craving the intense camaraderie that is impossible to replicate in CONUS military life, never mind civilian life. The reality is that people who join elite units, do not enlist to just train, but they also do not grow on trees either.
Nolan charts out his own motivation for his life of service in uniform and he tries to remind the reader of what is going on in the festering war in Eastern Europe/Ukraine. How in 2014 after the debacle in Kyiv with the Fall of the Yanukovych Government, the Russian Federation after seizing Crimea launched a conventional war in eastern Ukraine. Nolan explains that Ukrainians are fighting for intangible goals like freedom and democracy, and for the right to chart their own future free from Russian oppression. Curiously, when examined they are uniquely American values, and they see our country as a symbol for the kind of future they want to achieve for themselves and their children one day.
Western Europeans political leaders are frequently unable to answer that simple phrase “What are you willing to fight and die for”? Nolan quotes another journalist who spent some time observing war “If we win here, we win everywhere,” Ernest Hemingway wrote in his novel about the Spanish Civil War, “For Whom the Bell Tolls.” In terms of Ukraine, he's probably right.
November 19, 2023
The experience of war, well written, thoughtful.
I picked this book up thinking about the new war now going on between Israel and Hamas. I never served in the military, one of the Vietnam war era, college draft-deferred kids who managed to escape. Those who did serve in that war didn't get a hero's welcome when they came home. Regardless of whether that war was right or wrong, Nolan Peterson convinced me in a profound way that they should have. I thank him for that and his excellent work.
I picked this book up thinking about the new war now going on between Israel and Hamas. I never served in the military, one of the Vietnam war era, college draft-deferred kids who managed to escape. Those who did serve in that war didn't get a hero's welcome when they came home. Regardless of whether that war was right or wrong, Nolan Peterson convinced me in a profound way that they should have. I thank him for that and his excellent work.
November 8, 2019
A must read! A true, insightful, deeply personal war story
A must read! This book is gripping and insightful, and I dare say it was personally therapeutic. Before I go too much into my review, I want to recommend it as strongly as I can. It is one of the most thoughtful and introspective books I’ve ever read. Most books about war only tell about a specific battle or one side of the war... Peterson’s insights from both his own military experience and his work as a conflict journalist make this work very unique and enlightening. He speaks of multiple combat zones, and quotes combatants and non-combatants alike, then weaves in his perspective as a Special Operations pilot, providing overwatch for SOF forces on the ground, but also talks about the after-effects of war, such as the carnage in a Ukrainian town after being bombarded Russian separatists. This dynamic view provides a much deeper, more complete perspective than other books I’ve read.
This book resonated with me on a personal level like few books ever have. So many times I said “Yes! That’s how I am! That’s what I feel!” Maybe it’s because Nolan Peterson is a fellow Air Force Academy grad and former USAF pilot, and one who joined prior to 9/11 and graduated in the middle of two wars. He is also an adventurer who loves traveling the world, and gets bored staying in the same place. Up until there, we are kindred spirits. However, he has gone on to be an author and conflict journalist who has been published by various internationally renowned news outlets. This book is intensely personal, and reads like a mix between his diary and a friend sharing war stories with friends at the squadron bar. There are intense moments of action, but also tender moments... He bears his soul, describing his journey to find inner peace after war, while telling other warriors’ stories.
In this book, he addresses the nature of war and its impact on the individual combatant in both the abstract and in a deeply personal way. He writes, “Ask most combat veterans to name the worst experience of their lives, and they’ll probably tell you it was war. But here’s the confusing part. When you ask them to choose the best experience of their life, they’ll usually say it was war, too.” That seeming irony spurred Nolan to write this book.
He does not portray combat veterans as the pitiful, broken, violent caricatures seen in media. Instead, he writes, “Contrary to what most civilians might think, veterans are not broken, and they are not victims... Pitying them belittles their experiences and misrepresents the challenges they face after military life.” That reminded me of a thought by General James Mattis, who said that while PTSD is real and needs to be addressed, there is also post-traumatic growth, as we love more freely and appreciate life more deeply. This book does a great job explaining post-traumatic stress in a very hopeful way. He implies that it is natural to have such problems, but there is light at the end of the tunnel, and that past trauma, especially that of combat, does not have to limit our future.
If you are looking for insight into being a veteran, this is a great resource. If you’re struggling with PTSD, it’s a great book. If you’re looking to read a true story that reads like an adventure novel, this is your book. Again... I highly recommend this book.
A must read! This book is gripping and insightful, and I dare say it was personally therapeutic. Before I go too much into my review, I want to recommend it as strongly as I can. It is one of the most thoughtful and introspective books I’ve ever read. Most books about war only tell about a specific battle or one side of the war... Peterson’s insights from both his own military experience and his work as a conflict journalist make this work very unique and enlightening. He speaks of multiple combat zones, and quotes combatants and non-combatants alike, then weaves in his perspective as a Special Operations pilot, providing overwatch for SOF forces on the ground, but also talks about the after-effects of war, such as the carnage in a Ukrainian town after being bombarded Russian separatists. This dynamic view provides a much deeper, more complete perspective than other books I’ve read.
This book resonated with me on a personal level like few books ever have. So many times I said “Yes! That’s how I am! That’s what I feel!” Maybe it’s because Nolan Peterson is a fellow Air Force Academy grad and former USAF pilot, and one who joined prior to 9/11 and graduated in the middle of two wars. He is also an adventurer who loves traveling the world, and gets bored staying in the same place. Up until there, we are kindred spirits. However, he has gone on to be an author and conflict journalist who has been published by various internationally renowned news outlets. This book is intensely personal, and reads like a mix between his diary and a friend sharing war stories with friends at the squadron bar. There are intense moments of action, but also tender moments... He bears his soul, describing his journey to find inner peace after war, while telling other warriors’ stories.
In this book, he addresses the nature of war and its impact on the individual combatant in both the abstract and in a deeply personal way. He writes, “Ask most combat veterans to name the worst experience of their lives, and they’ll probably tell you it was war. But here’s the confusing part. When you ask them to choose the best experience of their life, they’ll usually say it was war, too.” That seeming irony spurred Nolan to write this book.
He does not portray combat veterans as the pitiful, broken, violent caricatures seen in media. Instead, he writes, “Contrary to what most civilians might think, veterans are not broken, and they are not victims... Pitying them belittles their experiences and misrepresents the challenges they face after military life.” That reminded me of a thought by General James Mattis, who said that while PTSD is real and needs to be addressed, there is also post-traumatic growth, as we love more freely and appreciate life more deeply. This book does a great job explaining post-traumatic stress in a very hopeful way. He implies that it is natural to have such problems, but there is light at the end of the tunnel, and that past trauma, especially that of combat, does not have to limit our future.
If you are looking for insight into being a veteran, this is a great resource. If you’re struggling with PTSD, it’s a great book. If you’re looking to read a true story that reads like an adventure novel, this is your book. Again... I highly recommend this book.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews