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Mother to Son: Letters to a Black Boy on Identity and Hope
"Wynn is my son. No little boy could be more loved by his parents. Inquisitive, fiercely affectionate, staunchly opinionated, he sees the world through eyes of wonder and has yet to become jaded by society's cruelty. I know he'll grow up with stories of having been made to feel 'other' because of the color of his skin. I want to teach him that, though life's unfair, he still has incomparable value in the eyes of his heavenly Father. I know this wondrous little person has the potential to change the world―and I want him to know it too."
In Mother to Son, Jasmine Holmes shares a series of powerful letters to her young son. These are about her journey as an African American Christian, and what she wants her son to know as he grows and approaches the world as a black man. Holmes deals head-on with issues ranging from discipleship and marriage to biblical justice. She invites us to read over her shoulder as she reminds Wynn that his identity is firmly planted in the person and work of Jesus Christ, even when the topic is one as emotionally charged as race in America.
In Mother to Son, Jasmine Holmes shares a series of powerful letters to her young son. These are about her journey as an African American Christian, and what she wants her son to know as he grows and approaches the world as a black man. Holmes deals head-on with issues ranging from discipleship and marriage to biblical justice. She invites us to read over her shoulder as she reminds Wynn that his identity is firmly planted in the person and work of Jesus Christ, even when the topic is one as emotionally charged as race in America.
151 pages, Hardcover
Published March 24, 2020
127 people are currently reading
3663 people want to read
About the author
Jasmine L. Holmes
15 books305 followersJasmine L. Holmes has written for The Gospel Coalition, Desiring God, Fathom Mag, Christianity Today, and The Witness. She is also a contributing author for Identity Theft: Reclaiming the Truth of Our Identity in Christ and His Testimonies, My Heritage: Women of Color on the Word of God. She teaches humanities in a classical Christian school in Jackson, Mississippi, where she and her husband, Phillip, are parenting two young sons.
Jasmine L. Holmes is the daughter of Voddie T. Baucham Jr.
Jasmine L. Holmes is the daughter of Voddie T. Baucham Jr.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 234 reviews
March 11, 2020
This review is also published on Medium: https://medium.com/interfaith-now/mot...
Jasmine Holmes has written a powerful collection of letters to her black son on how the world will see him and gives advice on how he should behave in this world. However, the book of letters is also written for the white evangelical church who tends to ignore the issues of race and justice. Holmes’ book echoes other notable epistles like Baldwin’s The Fire Next Time and Coates’ Between the World and Me. It also has elements that reminded me of Austin Channing Brown’s I'm Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness. Unlike Coates but like Baldwin and Brown, Holmes’ book comes from a Christian perspective, one which is needed now more than ever.
This book is written primarily to her son. She encourages and warns him of various things. For example, she writes to her son that God made him black on purpose and that it is a good thing. She also warns him of the racial insensitivities that are sure to come his way as he gets older. One example Holmes uses occurred in the past when various white people remarked on her son’s cuteness by asking “how much do you want for him?”. The author and her husband unfortunately had to educate these people about how that question sounds to a black family who lives with the history of slavery everyday.
Holmes is very powerful when she criticizes the white church on its antipathy to talk about racial issues. One powerful moment in the book was when she wrote about how white evangelicals tend to mention that slavery was a blind spot in American history. She argues that blind spots do not lead to the dehumanization of a people who are made in God’s image. Slavery she argues is not a blind spot it's a sin.
In another episode she mentions the buzz phrase that white evangelicals use when racial issues are discussed, “just preach the gospel”. In her experiences in mostly white evangelical spaces, “just preach the gospel” means “just shut up”. They wanted her to just talk about the salvation that Jesus brings to all and let the racial issues take care of themself. But as Holmes effectively argues, talking about Jesus’ salvation is good and important but racial issues are never solved by ignoring them, they must be addressed and faced head on.
Near the end of the book Holmes gives advice to her son about the importance of speaking out about the issues he cares about. She highlights the challenge that she faces when she speaks before groups and how she is viewed by people on the political left and political right. Both groups try to pigeon hole and label her as being the opposite of their own views. I’ll be honest, there were times in this book that I did the same thing from my own political perspective. However, her advice to her son is to not worry about this and encourages him to speak out with conviction.
Lastly, Holmes focuses on the importance of representation not just in the media but also in theology. Holmes introduces three pastors, only one of whom I was familiar with before reading this book (Lemuel Haynes, Charles Octavius Boothe, and Francis Grimke). After mentioning them she writes a powerful line that I believe was written not just to her son and the white evangelical church but to black Christians like myself. She says that the truth of God is not limited to only white voices. It was a powerful quote to me and it has now challenged me to go out and read the works of these black theologians that I’m not familiar with.
As I read this book, I imagined what my own black mother would have written to me. My mother’s experiences were unlike Holmes in that they grew up during different times (I’m in Holmes’ generation) and experienced different albeit similar experiences. But the essence of Holmes’ message would be the same as my mother. The racist society that you live in will view you one way because you are a black male, it's your job to challenge and show them how they are wrong, using your Christian faith as your anchor.
Holmes’s book is a must read for black Christian sons, black Christian mothers, and the white evangelical church. It will definitely bring about fruitful discussions amongst its readers.
Thanks to NetGalley, InterVarsity Press, and Jasmine L. Holmes for the free ARC copy in exchange for a honest review.
Jasmine Holmes has written a powerful collection of letters to her black son on how the world will see him and gives advice on how he should behave in this world. However, the book of letters is also written for the white evangelical church who tends to ignore the issues of race and justice. Holmes’ book echoes other notable epistles like Baldwin’s The Fire Next Time and Coates’ Between the World and Me. It also has elements that reminded me of Austin Channing Brown’s I'm Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness. Unlike Coates but like Baldwin and Brown, Holmes’ book comes from a Christian perspective, one which is needed now more than ever.
This book is written primarily to her son. She encourages and warns him of various things. For example, she writes to her son that God made him black on purpose and that it is a good thing. She also warns him of the racial insensitivities that are sure to come his way as he gets older. One example Holmes uses occurred in the past when various white people remarked on her son’s cuteness by asking “how much do you want for him?”. The author and her husband unfortunately had to educate these people about how that question sounds to a black family who lives with the history of slavery everyday.
Holmes is very powerful when she criticizes the white church on its antipathy to talk about racial issues. One powerful moment in the book was when she wrote about how white evangelicals tend to mention that slavery was a blind spot in American history. She argues that blind spots do not lead to the dehumanization of a people who are made in God’s image. Slavery she argues is not a blind spot it's a sin.
In another episode she mentions the buzz phrase that white evangelicals use when racial issues are discussed, “just preach the gospel”. In her experiences in mostly white evangelical spaces, “just preach the gospel” means “just shut up”. They wanted her to just talk about the salvation that Jesus brings to all and let the racial issues take care of themself. But as Holmes effectively argues, talking about Jesus’ salvation is good and important but racial issues are never solved by ignoring them, they must be addressed and faced head on.
Near the end of the book Holmes gives advice to her son about the importance of speaking out about the issues he cares about. She highlights the challenge that she faces when she speaks before groups and how she is viewed by people on the political left and political right. Both groups try to pigeon hole and label her as being the opposite of their own views. I’ll be honest, there were times in this book that I did the same thing from my own political perspective. However, her advice to her son is to not worry about this and encourages him to speak out with conviction.
Lastly, Holmes focuses on the importance of representation not just in the media but also in theology. Holmes introduces three pastors, only one of whom I was familiar with before reading this book (Lemuel Haynes, Charles Octavius Boothe, and Francis Grimke). After mentioning them she writes a powerful line that I believe was written not just to her son and the white evangelical church but to black Christians like myself. She says that the truth of God is not limited to only white voices. It was a powerful quote to me and it has now challenged me to go out and read the works of these black theologians that I’m not familiar with.
As I read this book, I imagined what my own black mother would have written to me. My mother’s experiences were unlike Holmes in that they grew up during different times (I’m in Holmes’ generation) and experienced different albeit similar experiences. But the essence of Holmes’ message would be the same as my mother. The racist society that you live in will view you one way because you are a black male, it's your job to challenge and show them how they are wrong, using your Christian faith as your anchor.
Holmes’s book is a must read for black Christian sons, black Christian mothers, and the white evangelical church. It will definitely bring about fruitful discussions amongst its readers.
Thanks to NetGalley, InterVarsity Press, and Jasmine L. Holmes for the free ARC copy in exchange for a honest review.
December 31, 2020
Wisdom, courage, and humility make for a wonderful book, and this one is rich with them. Holmes writes beautifully and honestly, and a humble reader will learn much. I learned from her story and perspective, both different from my own. I learned from her parenting and love for her children. I learned from the way she spoke of her husband and her father with love and respect. I learned to see more of a life and a world that I don’t inhabit but need to understand. I learned much of unity in Christ as well as courage and grace in disagreements. I highly recommend this book.
October 23, 2020
Someone said that this book is Ta-Nehisi Coates's Between the World and Me but filled with hope and the gospel. I found this description to be pretty accurate and helpful.
Holmes writes short letters about her life to her son(s) about skin color, racism, and the church. This book won't be an easy read for two reasons: (1) because of the systemic and uncomfortable issues that she addresses and (2) she is constantly battling tribalism so eventually she'll challenge what you believe.
The only way it doesn't surpass Between the World and Me (not that Coates' book was in focus during Holmes's writing), is that while you feel the hope, you don't feel the hopelessness or pain as deeply. The author knows the pain and hopelessness. She knows her son(s) will too. But, as a white reader, I was not privileged to that conversation. Neither do I deserve to be.
I highlighted almost every word of her chapter on "Be A Bridge" and the following interlude on "How To Study & How To Talk". Every chapter (truly) is wonderful, but the last 6 chapters at the end were on a whole other level for me. Great stuff!
I would give this book to every person I wanted to give The Color of Compromise: The Truth about the American Church’s Complicity in Racism too. It's a great next step.
A solid and wonderful four stars.
Holmes writes short letters about her life to her son(s) about skin color, racism, and the church. This book won't be an easy read for two reasons: (1) because of the systemic and uncomfortable issues that she addresses and (2) she is constantly battling tribalism so eventually she'll challenge what you believe.
The only way it doesn't surpass Between the World and Me (not that Coates' book was in focus during Holmes's writing), is that while you feel the hope, you don't feel the hopelessness or pain as deeply. The author knows the pain and hopelessness. She knows her son(s) will too. But, as a white reader, I was not privileged to that conversation. Neither do I deserve to be.
I highlighted almost every word of her chapter on "Be A Bridge" and the following interlude on "How To Study & How To Talk". Every chapter (truly) is wonderful, but the last 6 chapters at the end were on a whole other level for me. Great stuff!
I would give this book to every person I wanted to give The Color of Compromise: The Truth about the American Church’s Complicity in Racism too. It's a great next step.
A solid and wonderful four stars.
February 25, 2020
In “Mother to Son,” Jasmine Holmes further confirms the impression I got, years ago, reading her blog: her literary voice is so very kind. From her vulnerability about motherhood to her continually gracious approach to race and identity, her warmth, wit, and patience shine through. She delivers truth and takes strong stances without ever compromising on empathy.
(Also, I cried a lot. She hits you right in the feelings.)
Her love of storytelling and literature are so evident; I find myself jotting down the titles she references, a bunny trail of good books. Her beautiful narrative style makes this a fluid, lyrical read —which is a rare find in nonfiction.
I cannot presume to understand Jasmine’s experiences, but appreciate that she lovingly educates from her perspective: She doesn’t have to share her words to Wynn with us—in a political and cultural climate that is angering and hurtful—but she does anyway, and it’s a gift.
(Also, I cried a lot. She hits you right in the feelings.)
Her love of storytelling and literature are so evident; I find myself jotting down the titles she references, a bunny trail of good books. Her beautiful narrative style makes this a fluid, lyrical read —which is a rare find in nonfiction.
I cannot presume to understand Jasmine’s experiences, but appreciate that she lovingly educates from her perspective: She doesn’t have to share her words to Wynn with us—in a political and cultural climate that is angering and hurtful—but she does anyway, and it’s a gift.
March 26, 2020
Jasmine is a balanced, thoughtful writer and I have enjoyed following her blog for several years. Her thoughtful and wisdom-filled approach on her blog translates beautifully into her book. Jasmine is honest, but she is not cruel. She does not beat around the bush about real, raw issues but she does not do it for the sake of sensationalism. She is an excellent example of speaking the truth in love. Mother to Son is a gift, not just to Wynn and Jasmine's other son, Langston, but to all who take the time to read it. Jasmine does not set out to speak as an expert, but as a fellow human and a young mom learning to navigate a big world through the lens of Scripture. Jasmine Holmes is an incredible writer and a joy to know. We can all benefit from her book.
June 1, 2024
Part of the reason I read is to learn about other people’s unique experiences. I can only live one life. So I read to see the world through the eyes of others.
I appreciated Jasmine Holmes' book because there’s so much that we have in common. We were both raised in conservative, homeschool families. We’re both Christians. We’re both moms.
With those similarities, I found much in this book that I understand because I’ve experienced it too. The desire for my children to grow up and know the beauty of the gospel, to understand that the gospel affects every area of their lives, and to see how to live in light of the gospel...these are the same desires Jasmine has for her children.
There are differences though between Jasmine and me...and that is what I appreciated the most about this book. I will never know what it’s like to be a black woman in our culture. I will never have to face parenting a black son through the unique situations he will face. I won’t know those things by experience. But I can listen to those who do. I can seek to understand that others’ experiences are different from my own.
I highly recommend this book. You will see a mother’s love for her son. You will see her heart to teach her son about God and the gospel. You will hear about the unique experience of one black mother in the pages of this book.
“But what I want is for my siblings in Christ to consider that their experiences of evangelical culture are not universal. That our unique stories and experiences can serve to amplify the fact that Christ’s saving power infiltrated every tribe, tongue, and nation. The fact that I’m a black woman isn’t central to my identity as a Christian. But it is a facet of the way the Lord has made me, and it does impact aspects of my life that I have to wrestle with quite often in my earthly shell. It comes with immense blessings and difficult burdens. . . I want you to be equipped to share with others how they can help you shoulder those burdens that come with being a young black man in America. I also want you to be able to share their unique burdens with them. But first, we must become less afraid of the power of an unfamiliar story."
I appreciated Jasmine Holmes' book because there’s so much that we have in common. We were both raised in conservative, homeschool families. We’re both Christians. We’re both moms.
With those similarities, I found much in this book that I understand because I’ve experienced it too. The desire for my children to grow up and know the beauty of the gospel, to understand that the gospel affects every area of their lives, and to see how to live in light of the gospel...these are the same desires Jasmine has for her children.
There are differences though between Jasmine and me...and that is what I appreciated the most about this book. I will never know what it’s like to be a black woman in our culture. I will never have to face parenting a black son through the unique situations he will face. I won’t know those things by experience. But I can listen to those who do. I can seek to understand that others’ experiences are different from my own.
I highly recommend this book. You will see a mother’s love for her son. You will see her heart to teach her son about God and the gospel. You will hear about the unique experience of one black mother in the pages of this book.
“But what I want is for my siblings in Christ to consider that their experiences of evangelical culture are not universal. That our unique stories and experiences can serve to amplify the fact that Christ’s saving power infiltrated every tribe, tongue, and nation. The fact that I’m a black woman isn’t central to my identity as a Christian. But it is a facet of the way the Lord has made me, and it does impact aspects of my life that I have to wrestle with quite often in my earthly shell. It comes with immense blessings and difficult burdens. . . I want you to be equipped to share with others how they can help you shoulder those burdens that come with being a young black man in America. I also want you to be able to share their unique burdens with them. But first, we must become less afraid of the power of an unfamiliar story."
January 15, 2022
This is really a charming book, and I applaud Jasmine Holmes for working out these tricky questions in a public way so that we can all listen in.
As a slightly older mother, I couldn't help but think that it all sounds pretty theoretical and likely most of the ideas she's covered here simply won't serve her son in the way she's picturing. The whole concept felt disingenuous. I don't know why exactly, but I couldn't quite get over the fact that this is all supposedly for her son, a son who is still a toddler, and by the time he's able to benefit from it, will probably be truly uncomfortable reading this. I'm biased by the fact that I'm on the other side of toddler motherhood as I'm watching my kids turn into independent thinking pre-teens, and I'm realizing how much they need a conversation partner and a listener more than a mom who teaches or speaks or writes one-sided conversations with them. Because of this, I had a hard time enjoying this book or rating it more highly. I think the real audience is us: evangelicals navigating the world RIGHT NOW and eager for insight into how other parents are approaching these sensitive topics. And also US, those who are curious how Jasmine is handling her father's public persona in light of her own convictions.
As a slightly older mother, I couldn't help but think that it all sounds pretty theoretical and likely most of the ideas she's covered here simply won't serve her son in the way she's picturing. The whole concept felt disingenuous. I don't know why exactly, but I couldn't quite get over the fact that this is all supposedly for her son, a son who is still a toddler, and by the time he's able to benefit from it, will probably be truly uncomfortable reading this. I'm biased by the fact that I'm on the other side of toddler motherhood as I'm watching my kids turn into independent thinking pre-teens, and I'm realizing how much they need a conversation partner and a listener more than a mom who teaches or speaks or writes one-sided conversations with them. Because of this, I had a hard time enjoying this book or rating it more highly. I think the real audience is us: evangelicals navigating the world RIGHT NOW and eager for insight into how other parents are approaching these sensitive topics. And also US, those who are curious how Jasmine is handling her father's public persona in light of her own convictions.
January 31, 2022
There is quite a bit of good maternal wisdom here.
In the vein of Ta-Nehisi Coates’ Between the World and Me, this book is a collection of letters written from a mother to her son as a way of sharing her wisdom when he is grown. While Coates writes as an atheist father in NYC, Holmes is a Christian mother living in Mississippi. What a difference a little hope makes!
Holmes’ perspective is still realistic, but more politically balanced, and she’s much more generous with those who may not agree with her.
In the vein of Ta-Nehisi Coates’ Between the World and Me, this book is a collection of letters written from a mother to her son as a way of sharing her wisdom when he is grown. While Coates writes as an atheist father in NYC, Holmes is a Christian mother living in Mississippi. What a difference a little hope makes!
Holmes’ perspective is still realistic, but more politically balanced, and she’s much more generous with those who may not agree with her.
March 28, 2020
*Every* believer should read this book! It's true and fierce and beautiful.
June 30, 2020
This book packs SO much into just 150 pages. Jasmine Holmes is unabashedly gospel-focused, and does the best job I have ever read of taking racial tension, racial injustice and prejudice, history, family, social media, and pretty much any present day hot button topic and framing it with a Christ first approach. She is relevant and poignant, and her words should make pretty much anyone uncomfortable. She does this with humility, talking through her own issues and urging her son in this series of letters to learn from her mistakes and look first and foremost to Jesus.
This is a book that made me laugh, cry, scribble furious notes in the margins, look up people I hadn't heard of, add books to my reading list, challenge me to see my own biases and history, and encouraged me so much as the mother of a Black boy.
I'm grateful for the group of ladies who have read along with me, sharing their thoughts and reactions, encouraging each other to have hard conversations and to move forward in our own spheres of influence.
This is a book that made me laugh, cry, scribble furious notes in the margins, look up people I hadn't heard of, add books to my reading list, challenge me to see my own biases and history, and encouraged me so much as the mother of a Black boy.
I'm grateful for the group of ladies who have read along with me, sharing their thoughts and reactions, encouraging each other to have hard conversations and to move forward in our own spheres of influence.
August 28, 2020
This is a truly beautiful book. I’m neither black nor American nor a mother; I’m white, British and a dad! But I learned so much from jasmine Holmes as she writes these letters to her toddler-aged older son, preparing him for life in a complicated and fraught world, especially for black men in the States. She has such wisdom and nuance, all of which seem hard won from years of handling prejudice and ignorance. And to cap it all, she writes with fluency and grace such that reading her is a genuine pleasure. Highly recommended.
March 4, 2020
As a transracial adoptive parent, honoring my son’s heritage is very, very important to us. Giving sufficient weight to that and going a step further and pointing him to Jesus, even more so! Jasmine has done an incredible job doing just that! Her book is filled with open letters to her son, filled with practical advice, wisdom, and rich with Scripture and Gospel hope. This is one that I will read again and again and recommend to other moms over and over. Well done, Jasmine! Thank you!
June 27, 2020
I want to shout “Amen!” Jasmine lays her vulnerable mom heart bare with these letters to her son and it is a triumph of the Gospel that all of us should read. We need reminding that our identity is in Christ & our unity is in Christ. We are each of us, black/white, male/female placed in this moment in history inside our individual stories in order to further the Gospel.
In addition to the rich theology there is much in the way of practical guidelines for interacting with our brothers & sisters in person and online.
And for those concerned there is not one single shred of CRT in this book.
“I want these letters to be a testimony of a mother’s love for her son and have a sister’s love for the body of Christ. Because when I speak about these topics, I want to hold my brothers and sisters in the Lord close to my heart, as I do my own son – my own flesh and blood. They are my blood-bought family in Christ, redeemed by the God who took on flesh to save them.”
In addition to the rich theology there is much in the way of practical guidelines for interacting with our brothers & sisters in person and online.
And for those concerned there is not one single shred of CRT in this book.
“I want these letters to be a testimony of a mother’s love for her son and have a sister’s love for the body of Christ. Because when I speak about these topics, I want to hold my brothers and sisters in the Lord close to my heart, as I do my own son – my own flesh and blood. They are my blood-bought family in Christ, redeemed by the God who took on flesh to save them.”
March 5, 2024
Beautiful letters written by a black mama to her black son. I loved that the format of this book is filled with all of the things Jasmine wants to share with her son(s). These letters are her own personal stories, thoughts, and wisdom. What a treasure for her sons and for us.
Foreword from Jackie Hill Perry:
“These letters are personal and yet applicable to us all. With child or without. Brown or white. Married or single. We may not all understand what it is to be her, a black mother with a brown boy, but we all understand what it is like to love. To care so deeply for someone that your affection becomes words, and these words a means to encourage, teach, remind, warn, and inspire. But I personally believe that Jasmine’s words aren’t just an expression of her love for Wynn, but the evidence of her love for you, the reader.”
If you want to gaze into a mother’s heart for her black son, I highly recommend. Very beautiful.
Foreword from Jackie Hill Perry:
“These letters are personal and yet applicable to us all. With child or without. Brown or white. Married or single. We may not all understand what it is to be her, a black mother with a brown boy, but we all understand what it is like to love. To care so deeply for someone that your affection becomes words, and these words a means to encourage, teach, remind, warn, and inspire. But I personally believe that Jasmine’s words aren’t just an expression of her love for Wynn, but the evidence of her love for you, the reader.”
If you want to gaze into a mother’s heart for her black son, I highly recommend. Very beautiful.
May 8, 2020
An exposition of Gospel-identity in a racialized society. I really appreciate that Holmes did not minimize the complexity of the issue. Throughout her book she seeks to acknowledge that yes, race is a construct of the fall that is ultimately an improper place to find identity and yet at the same time, race HAS been constructed in our society and the sin of racism needs to be acknowledged and reckoned with. Holmes makes sure we know & feel the weight of interpersonal and systemic injustices while calling you to see through a Gospel lens (but not using the Gospel as a bandaid of pat answers).
Being in desperate need for Gospel-centric thought on race and identity, Holmes feels like a trusted voice that I will want to return back to again and again.
Being in desperate need for Gospel-centric thought on race and identity, Holmes feels like a trusted voice that I will want to return back to again and again.
February 18, 2021
Loved this book. You can almost hear her genuine love come through the text not only for her son but for her brothers and sisters in the faith. It pulls the reader, especially non POC to see the complexities and challenges black Christians wrestle with in thought and action. This book allows and enables us to open our ears to the possible burdens and barriers POC may face and gives us an opportunity to be more understanding and patient. We are all one under Christ and there is nothing that should separate us from that, let alone the love of God. Must read!
July 8, 2020
The formatting of letters to her son invoking a natural empathy for the reader, Holmes elevates the format further with her candor, tenderness, balanced appeal to justice & mercy, and a gospel-focused lens on the complexities of living as a Black image bearer of God
March 8, 2021
An insightful book that touched my heart in a deeper way because I related to Jasmine as a mother. I still continue to search my heart for areas of bias and prejudice. She gently calls out sin of racism in the church and humbly portrays her upbringing and desires for her sons in a beautiful way.
October 6, 2024
love the style of this book, honest and thoughtful letters to her son. and helpful insight for any reader.
it’s on the study program so all my fellow interns should check this out!
it’s on the study program so all my fellow interns should check this out!
March 5, 2021
Over the last couple of years, I’ve read several books on race and justice in America. If you’re someone who cares about these topics and you’re looking for a starting point to learn more, this is the one I would recommend. It is balanced, personal, gospel-oriented, and hopeful.
January 9, 2022
A beautifully written book full of balance and so much grace. A breath of fresh air in such polarizing times.
August 31, 2020
Thankful for this window into a world and experience so different from my own (and yet, in other ways, so similar). The author's love and care for her children seeps through every page, and as much as I'd like to be shocked by the stories she recounts of her own childhood experiences, I've come to learn in recent years how commonplace they are. Recommended even for readers who wouldn't seem to fit into the primary target audience. (Like me.)
March 24, 2020
The book was very well written. Simple, without being simplistic, Jasmine’s writing style is approachable for mature and new Christians alike. It was encouraging for me to read, as someone who is biracial and often has felt torn between two worlds. Jasmine very clearly and eloquently communicates the Gospel and why it calls us to action. Very thankful for this book to be written!
February 16, 2021
Beautiful! Everyone should read this.
August 17, 2020
I was unfamiliar with this book and its author prior to the book being given to me, ironically, for Fathers Day. I enjoyed the book though at time it was a bit challenging and convicting.
Holmes is a fantastic writer, and this book, a series of letters to her two year old son, has a beautiful lyrical quality to it that made it an enjoyable read. It is not long, and the chapters (letters) are short but each carries a weight to them that the artistry with which she writes does not obscure.
That weight seems to be something Holmes carries: the weight of being a mama, wanting to raise her son well; the weight of being African American and female in this slice of history; the weight of being the daughter of a famous evangelical and conservative pastor; the weight of wanting to remain faithful to the gospel in a culture (evangelical and otherwise) that doesn't necessarily speak that language when it comes to the matter of race.
One does not cast fault for this burden, as each is real and Holmes seems to be working out -- no, she says she IS working out - these matters as she grows into motherhood, sisterhood and a daughter of the Most High King. She puts it up front, up front: "I don't have it all figured out."
What I appreciated about the book beyond the quality of its prose is her honesty ... the stated desire to be faithful to what God has called all believers to, yet trying to figure out just how that gospel applies to the nitty-gritty of living life in a particular context, which, in her case, is as a minority woman both in terms of race and, perhaps a little bit, as an evangelical. I found her candor refreshing, at times convicting, but mostly, reading from my context as a white male, helpful in gaining empathy and understanding for someone whose shoes I don’t wear and yet by spiritual rebirth is a sister of mine I’ll get to meet in heaven.
If there was one area of the book that brought up a "hmmmm" in my imaginary voice is that while she clearly understands the gospel, clearly wants to live it out and -- as she said multiple times over -- views it as the ultimate solution to the division in our land on matters of race, it seemed to me that the gospel wasn't the white-hot core of the book, of her letters. Don't get me wrong, it's there, but I wondered just a bit how much was it fear or hurt (neither is made up) that propelled her pen, verses a desire for her little boy to love Christ and his gospel more than anything. Perhaps — likely — because I have never lived out her particular fears nor felt very often the hurt of racism I am in need of greater understanding and empathy.
None of this is a criticism, for I do not walk in her shoes and the reason I wanted to read the book was to gain an insight into a life experience I want to know more about, a gospel-centered empathy for others that I want to grow in. I think Holmes has contributed a fine addition to the conversation that the Church in America is having and needs to continue. She offers us a perspective that is helpful, nuanced and informative. In that she parts company ever so slightly with her famous father (Voddie Baucham whom some in Evangelical circles quickly quote as a "seeeee!" point of anti-wokeness weaponry) I found her book a helpful read and I'd recommend it to fellow followers of Jesus who are trying to make sense of this mad, mad world we're in.
Holmes is a fantastic writer, and this book, a series of letters to her two year old son, has a beautiful lyrical quality to it that made it an enjoyable read. It is not long, and the chapters (letters) are short but each carries a weight to them that the artistry with which she writes does not obscure.
That weight seems to be something Holmes carries: the weight of being a mama, wanting to raise her son well; the weight of being African American and female in this slice of history; the weight of being the daughter of a famous evangelical and conservative pastor; the weight of wanting to remain faithful to the gospel in a culture (evangelical and otherwise) that doesn't necessarily speak that language when it comes to the matter of race.
One does not cast fault for this burden, as each is real and Holmes seems to be working out -- no, she says she IS working out - these matters as she grows into motherhood, sisterhood and a daughter of the Most High King. She puts it up front, up front: "I don't have it all figured out."
What I appreciated about the book beyond the quality of its prose is her honesty ... the stated desire to be faithful to what God has called all believers to, yet trying to figure out just how that gospel applies to the nitty-gritty of living life in a particular context, which, in her case, is as a minority woman both in terms of race and, perhaps a little bit, as an evangelical. I found her candor refreshing, at times convicting, but mostly, reading from my context as a white male, helpful in gaining empathy and understanding for someone whose shoes I don’t wear and yet by spiritual rebirth is a sister of mine I’ll get to meet in heaven.
If there was one area of the book that brought up a "hmmmm" in my imaginary voice is that while she clearly understands the gospel, clearly wants to live it out and -- as she said multiple times over -- views it as the ultimate solution to the division in our land on matters of race, it seemed to me that the gospel wasn't the white-hot core of the book, of her letters. Don't get me wrong, it's there, but I wondered just a bit how much was it fear or hurt (neither is made up) that propelled her pen, verses a desire for her little boy to love Christ and his gospel more than anything. Perhaps — likely — because I have never lived out her particular fears nor felt very often the hurt of racism I am in need of greater understanding and empathy.
None of this is a criticism, for I do not walk in her shoes and the reason I wanted to read the book was to gain an insight into a life experience I want to know more about, a gospel-centered empathy for others that I want to grow in. I think Holmes has contributed a fine addition to the conversation that the Church in America is having and needs to continue. She offers us a perspective that is helpful, nuanced and informative. In that she parts company ever so slightly with her famous father (Voddie Baucham whom some in Evangelical circles quickly quote as a "seeeee!" point of anti-wokeness weaponry) I found her book a helpful read and I'd recommend it to fellow followers of Jesus who are trying to make sense of this mad, mad world we're in.
January 29, 2022
I'm very glad to have read this book. It resonated with me as a parent of small children. It also broke my heart to consider the difficulties I, in God's providence for my life, don't have to face myself.
On the one hand, this book felt a little strange to read. Jasmine's husband and I work at the same institution, but we're not close enough to be overly personal. This book, however, is very personal. I almost feel like I overstepped a workplace boundary by reading it. This is absolutely not a problem with the book, only with my particular circumstances. Haha.
The one issue I did have with the book was the font. It felt like the publisher was wed to a particular size for the book to be -- an ideal height, width, and thickness. Then they went with whatever font size produced that size book. In my opinion, the text was too small.
But the content is magnificent. Jasmine strives for an uncomfortable middle ground on issues of race, much as I've tried to find. She emphasizes the complexity of life and social issues. She resists easy answers and majors on practical rules for navigating the via media.
And it depressed me how clear she had to be all over the book. The fact that she has to anticipate every objection that she's drifting off into liberal anti-gospel nonsense is genuinely sad. This isn't a problem with the book but with the evangelical environment in which it was written. I pray we'd all learn to read more charitably and stop "reading between the lines" so much.
I wholeheartedly recommend this book.
On the one hand, this book felt a little strange to read. Jasmine's husband and I work at the same institution, but we're not close enough to be overly personal. This book, however, is very personal. I almost feel like I overstepped a workplace boundary by reading it. This is absolutely not a problem with the book, only with my particular circumstances. Haha.
The one issue I did have with the book was the font. It felt like the publisher was wed to a particular size for the book to be -- an ideal height, width, and thickness. Then they went with whatever font size produced that size book. In my opinion, the text was too small.
But the content is magnificent. Jasmine strives for an uncomfortable middle ground on issues of race, much as I've tried to find. She emphasizes the complexity of life and social issues. She resists easy answers and majors on practical rules for navigating the via media.
And it depressed me how clear she had to be all over the book. The fact that she has to anticipate every objection that she's drifting off into liberal anti-gospel nonsense is genuinely sad. This isn't a problem with the book but with the evangelical environment in which it was written. I pray we'd all learn to read more charitably and stop "reading between the lines" so much.
I wholeheartedly recommend this book.
February 10, 2021
Long overdue read. This book is filled with such tender, sweet, seasoned-with-grace letters to her son. At the same time, there is abundant wisdom, powerful exhortations, and convicting truths and charges to action. I have admired Jasmine so much over the past 5 years that I’ve gotten to know her through our online exchanges. Without her, I don’t think I’d be challenged to think and read more broadly than I was before. She is so incredibly wise and praise God for his work in and through her. Though these letters were written to her son, I was extremely benefited by them. I feel convicted and encouraged to seek and stand up for truth with God’s Word as my guide. I feel ready and empowered to be willing to see people as complex and unique, seeking to know and understand them better in relationship instead of slapping on labels and partaking in tribalism. I can relate to Jasmine so much regarding the struggle of being a people-pleaser and I’m so encouraged by God’s work in her to stand up for truth and to be fearless in the face of opposition. I want to be her when I grow up. That’s all. Amazing book. Beautiful writing. Warmed my soul to read.
July 22, 2021
This was a long read for me because there was so much to absorb. In these letters to her young son, Holmes addresses issues facing us today, including racism within the church, political tribalism, and even how to behave on Twitter. She acknowledges the complexity of our history and current issues, but never apologizes for the truth. "It's okay that it's complex. Because we have a Savior who sits with us in that complexity. And your identity in him supersedes that red, white, and blue flag every single time." (52)
This book is worth the read just for the interlude chapter, "How to Study and How to Talk" which has a great list of do's and don'ts. (Do: Learn enough to have a nuanced conversation. Don't: Learn enough just to give a hot take.) There is a keen awareness running throughout that calls out hypocrisy and flawed thinking yet never feels unjust or unkind. In a religious world that has become increasingly polarized, voices like this are more needed than ever. No matter which side you fall on, Jasmine's voice will challenge you to "see hurting people before you see ideological adversaries." (100)
This book is worth the read just for the interlude chapter, "How to Study and How to Talk" which has a great list of do's and don'ts. (Do: Learn enough to have a nuanced conversation. Don't: Learn enough just to give a hot take.) There is a keen awareness running throughout that calls out hypocrisy and flawed thinking yet never feels unjust or unkind. In a religious world that has become increasingly polarized, voices like this are more needed than ever. No matter which side you fall on, Jasmine's voice will challenge you to "see hurting people before you see ideological adversaries." (100)
March 24, 2020
As soon as I knew that Jasmine Holmes was writing a book, I knew I would be buying it.
Jasmine and I “met” on twitter a few years ago. I recognized her name in connection with her very famous dad, Voddie Baucham, but I soon came to know her as a fiercely honest, doggedly compassionate Christian woman who was deeply motivated to get at the truth - the whole truth - even when it was less than popular. She was willing to turn the soil of church culture, even when doing so unearthed things that weren’t pretty. And intriguingly, she never allowed herself to be filed away into the tidy, ideological categories that we seem to be so fond of employing. Sensing a kindred spirit, I wanted to reach out to get to know her better, but I couldn’t figure out how to do it without being weird. Fortunately, Jasmine - true to her “embrace the awkward” spirit - reached out to me first, and I had the privilege of going from “follower” to “friend.”
Jasmine and I have a lot in common. We’re both Christian women, and Christian wives. We belong to the same, millennial generation. We’re both mothers of young children. We both love history. We’re both writers. We’re both card-carrying alumni of that strange and special sub-culture known to the rest of the world as “those homeschool kids.” We’re both deeply affected by some of the less-than-wonderful sub-movements within the homeschooling world. There’s so much that we instantly understand about one another’s perspective - so many things we don’t even have to explain to each other. But as much as we have in common, there is also a lot about Jasmine’s perspective that I do not instantly understand. I’m not a pastor’s kid. I’m not the child of a Christian celebrity. And, I am not a black woman living in twenty-first century America.
Some of the things that I don’t relate with, as a white person, are more superficial than others. With my fine, super-oily hair, I wouldn’t know the first thing about caring for and styling Jasmine’s live-wire mane, which she affectionately refers to as “Wild Mike.” But other things are not so superficial. I don’t know what it’s like to be “the brown-skinned girl who [sticks] out like a sore thumb in a sea of white, Reformed faces.” (p75) I don’t know what it’s like to move, as a black homeschooler, among fellow students who have learned a rosy version of America’s past from Bob Jones history textbooks. I don’t know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of casual racism from my brothers and sisters in Christ; to bite my lip because I don’t want to rock the boat. And although I’ve experienced many of the negative aspects of purity culture, I haven’t experienced them from the perspective of black teenage girl who is learning that “purity” is synonymous with “whiteness.” As a mother, I know what it’s like to worry about my children’s safety, but I don’t know what it’s like to watch stories of police violence against black males like Philando Castile and Tamir Rice with a little brown boy on my knee. As much as we do have in common, there’s a lot that I don’t - and can’t - understand about Jasmine’s life unless she tells me, and I listen. And actually, there is nothing in the world wrong with that.
As Jasmine so graciously points out, ignorance is not a crime, and - thank God! - all kinds of ignorance can be remedied with knowledge. But the thing about education is, we have to choose to learn. Jasmine writes that knowledge of black experience is not mystical: it is “free, and anyone with an active mind and an empathetic heart has the freedom to attain it.” (p86-87) We can easily learn about what it’s like to be black in America from members of Christ’s own body who live that reality every day. But sadly, we find many “spiritual” reasons to keep ourselves in the dark. We use slogans like “Just preach the gospel!” when conversations begin to turn towards race. We tell ourselves that it’s our rock-solid commitment to the authority of scripture that keeps us from delving into the lived experience of other, ethnically different, Christians. But annoyingly, we find that the very scriptures whose authority we are appealing to, won’t back us up. If we peer into the heart of the Bible, we will behold a Savior who enters into our experiences with uninhibited sympathy, and bids us do the same with every, precious member of His body.
Never sacrificing Christian unity for the sake of diversity, or vice versa, Mother to Son ties together the universal with the particular; one moment dwelling on the familiar pride of a mother over her beautiful baby boy, and another moment, soberly considering that the world she will someday send Wynn out into will not necessarily see him the way she does. Seeking to combat the world’s lies with motherly wisdom, she invites us into the process:
"While the first purpose of this letter is an inward look at a mother’s heart for her son, the second purpose of this letter is an outward look at a sister’s heart for her siblings. As I raise my son in our current cultural climate, my desire is that we, as older believers, will work at daily changing that environment, making is a more welcome place for discussion, learning and growth. That, above all, our goal would be to see brothers and sisters of every tribe, tongue and nation dwelling in unity, not by flattening God-given ethnic and cultural identities, but by living in the gloriously diverse reality of those identities for his glory." (p7-8)
Jasmine practices what she preaches as she tackles difficult topics with nuance and honesty, always holding both the truth and all her Christian siblings closely. (p7) In spite of the popular chorus to “stop making everything about race and just preach the gospel,” Mother to Son shows that the gospel is not lost, but lived out, when we take the time to sympathize with each other’s unique pains, fears, joys and comforts.
April 6, 2020
You don't have to be a mom (I'm not) to be touched, inspired, and moved to some serious soul-searching by this book. Jasmine Holmes pulls no punches as she lays out for her little son what he can expect from a world that will too often judge him unfairly and harshly. But along with sober realism, she also offers hope, found in the blessings of his heritage, the faith he will be brought up in, and the hard-earned wisdom of his parents. She lovingly encourages him to find ways to be both honest and gracious, courageous and kind, and to grapple with racial prejudice (especially in the church) while avoiding tribalism and holding on to faith. Little Wynn and baby brother Langston are blessed indeed to have such a mother. And we're blessed to have such a book.
I received this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
I received this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
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