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Going Down in La-La Land
"I not only have skeletons in my closet, but skulls and bones falling out of my cabinets and drawers as well."
Going Down in La-La Land is a candid, sexy, and outrageously funny look at what an actor can-and will-do to survive in Hollywood. Young, ambitious, and gay, Adam Zeller arrives from New York with the looks and talent to become a star but soon finds himself lost in a seamy (and steamy) underworld of gay porn and male prostitution, dealing with down-and-out directors, washed up starlets, crystal meth addicts, and the pretty boy Hollywood "A" list.
Where the interaction, social hierarchy, and manic personalities at the talent agency were unbearable; the porn industry was just plain mind-boggling. I would come to find out both environments had plenty of larger than life characters. The difference was in the porn world people actually treated each other better and lacked the big egos. Those involved were realistic about the kind of work they did, and that they were considered the bottom of the barrel by the rest of Tinseltown. Yet at least they were honest and up front about being money-grubbing pigs and users, which was more than I could say for the suits at the agency. It was sad but true; the dirty world of porn was nicer than the legit business world, whether it be a television network or Wall Street.
As far as taking my clothes off, I had no problem with it. I always said that if it came back to haunt me, I would tell the truth.
"I was poor, broke, and needed the cash," I would fantasize myself crying to an interviewer upon getting famous someday, my past being found out. Boo hoo, boo hoo.
Everyone has to pay the bills somehow. And ifyou are an artist of any kind, be it actor, writer, painter, or whatever, at times you had to be very creative to make ends meet.
Struggling to find his way back to the yellow brick road of stardom, Adam gets a first-hand education on the X-rated film industry and finds out what really goes on in the town's top talent agencies. But it's not long before he's reduced to working as a male prostitute, turning tricks with a billionaire businessman and getting a peek inside the closet of one of America's most beloved TV stars.
He stared bashfully at the ground. He had a very sweet and endearing quality that I found very attractive. It was certain that he was more intimidated with me than the other way around. I actually found him kind of sexy. His hair was thick and curly, and he wore it very short. His eyes were big and blue, and drooped just a bit, like those of a puppy dog. His build was stout and thick, like that of a maintenance man. He had a belly that bulged a bit over his pants, but nothing that hung over. And a barrel chest and burly arms offset his wide middle, so in reality he looked in proportion. It was a nice change from the cookie cutter, overly worked out bodies I saw all over town, and on the covers of the video boxes I shrink-wrapped every other day.
Inspired by the real-life experiences of author/actor Andy Zeffer (The Fluffer), Going Down in La-La Land is a sexy and scandalous look at the other side of Hollywood, where dreams are dashed and hopes replaced with heartbreak.
Going Down in La-La Land is a candid, sexy, and outrageously funny look at what an actor can-and will-do to survive in Hollywood. Young, ambitious, and gay, Adam Zeller arrives from New York with the looks and talent to become a star but soon finds himself lost in a seamy (and steamy) underworld of gay porn and male prostitution, dealing with down-and-out directors, washed up starlets, crystal meth addicts, and the pretty boy Hollywood "A" list.
Where the interaction, social hierarchy, and manic personalities at the talent agency were unbearable; the porn industry was just plain mind-boggling. I would come to find out both environments had plenty of larger than life characters. The difference was in the porn world people actually treated each other better and lacked the big egos. Those involved were realistic about the kind of work they did, and that they were considered the bottom of the barrel by the rest of Tinseltown. Yet at least they were honest and up front about being money-grubbing pigs and users, which was more than I could say for the suits at the agency. It was sad but true; the dirty world of porn was nicer than the legit business world, whether it be a television network or Wall Street.
As far as taking my clothes off, I had no problem with it. I always said that if it came back to haunt me, I would tell the truth.
"I was poor, broke, and needed the cash," I would fantasize myself crying to an interviewer upon getting famous someday, my past being found out. Boo hoo, boo hoo.
Everyone has to pay the bills somehow. And ifyou are an artist of any kind, be it actor, writer, painter, or whatever, at times you had to be very creative to make ends meet.
Struggling to find his way back to the yellow brick road of stardom, Adam gets a first-hand education on the X-rated film industry and finds out what really goes on in the town's top talent agencies. But it's not long before he's reduced to working as a male prostitute, turning tricks with a billionaire businessman and getting a peek inside the closet of one of America's most beloved TV stars.
He stared bashfully at the ground. He had a very sweet and endearing quality that I found very attractive. It was certain that he was more intimidated with me than the other way around. I actually found him kind of sexy. His hair was thick and curly, and he wore it very short. His eyes were big and blue, and drooped just a bit, like those of a puppy dog. His build was stout and thick, like that of a maintenance man. He had a belly that bulged a bit over his pants, but nothing that hung over. And a barrel chest and burly arms offset his wide middle, so in reality he looked in proportion. It was a nice change from the cookie cutter, overly worked out bodies I saw all over town, and on the covers of the video boxes I shrink-wrapped every other day.
Inspired by the real-life experiences of author/actor Andy Zeffer (The Fluffer), Going Down in La-La Land is a sexy and scandalous look at the other side of Hollywood, where dreams are dashed and hopes replaced with heartbreak.
252 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 2006
About the author
Andy Zeffer
2 books3 followersAndy Zeffer is an American novelist. He received his BA from Eugene Lang College in New York City.
His first novel Going Down in La-La Land was published in 2006. Going Down in La-La Land was a 2006 Lambda Literary Award finalist and has become a cult favorite.
Zeffer has written for numerous publications including Genre Magazine, The Washington Blade, and The Provincetown Banner. A short story of his is featured in the anthology Paws and Reflect: Exploring the Bond Between Gay Men and Their Dogs. He currently lives in New York City.
His first novel Going Down in La-La Land was published in 2006. Going Down in La-La Land was a 2006 Lambda Literary Award finalist and has become a cult favorite.
Zeffer has written for numerous publications including Genre Magazine, The Washington Blade, and The Provincetown Banner. A short story of his is featured in the anthology Paws and Reflect: Exploring the Bond Between Gay Men and Their Dogs. He currently lives in New York City.
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
June 4, 2012
No one is going to say they disliked this book.
You know what you're getting going in, a story about LA, star-fucking, and gay porn. If that's your thing, buy this book and read it, you'll like it too.
The narrator goes through many details of his life with a light breezy tone and interesting set-ups with payoffs. It was a fun book.
One thing kept this from getting 5 stars and it was for me a sense of detachment from the narrator. I felt like he was letting you in, but not all the way. A few things contribute to that, some not his fault. The version I read was badly formatted with superfluous hyphens in nearly every line which I found annoying, this is the Kindle retail version available in June 2012.
Next is I'm guessing for legality reasons he had to change a lot of the names. I am terrible at guessing games and couldn't figure out the thinly veiled references. I did get that Hollywood Windows is actually Hollywood Squares and The Voyeur is actually the Fluffer, but the last one I got off this website.
The last thing was that the author comes off as lily white. Others are doing drugs, not him, others have a problem with drugs, not him, others are perverts in for a life of porn, he just dabbles, even suicide is brushed off as "Whoops!". I got the impression he felt everyone was out to get him and he thought he was the innocent, which is part of the plot of the book I suppose but it's taken too far.
All this being said, again, it's good. There's porn, there's sex, there's Hollywood, there's fame, there's humour. A good read, I would read something else by this author.
You know what you're getting going in, a story about LA, star-fucking, and gay porn. If that's your thing, buy this book and read it, you'll like it too.
The narrator goes through many details of his life with a light breezy tone and interesting set-ups with payoffs. It was a fun book.
One thing kept this from getting 5 stars and it was for me a sense of detachment from the narrator. I felt like he was letting you in, but not all the way. A few things contribute to that, some not his fault. The version I read was badly formatted with superfluous hyphens in nearly every line which I found annoying, this is the Kindle retail version available in June 2012.
Next is I'm guessing for legality reasons he had to change a lot of the names. I am terrible at guessing games and couldn't figure out the thinly veiled references. I did get that Hollywood Windows is actually Hollywood Squares and The Voyeur is actually the Fluffer, but the last one I got off this website.
The last thing was that the author comes off as lily white. Others are doing drugs, not him, others have a problem with drugs, not him, others are perverts in for a life of porn, he just dabbles, even suicide is brushed off as "Whoops!". I got the impression he felt everyone was out to get him and he thought he was the innocent, which is part of the plot of the book I suppose but it's taken too far.
All this being said, again, it's good. There's porn, there's sex, there's Hollywood, there's fame, there's humour. A good read, I would read something else by this author.
January 16, 2011
I first "encountered" Andy Zeffer in the movie The Fluffer while attempting to gain insight into the world of gay porn for a future project. By strange coincidence, around the same time, Elisa Rolle featured the upcoming movie version of La-La Land on her site. Now I had to read this book. It didn't disappoint.
Ever wonder what happens in someone's life that leads them to performing in porn? Going Down in La-La Land provides a very realistic answer to that question, and does it in a sympathetic manner. I found myself easily identifying with a young, gay aspiring actor, through hope, fear, triumph, and tragedy. Ironically, the character of Dale reminded me so much of Johnny Rebel in The Fluffer and his downward spiral into drugs.
The story pulled me in, and it's written in such a way that I felt like a trusted confidant to a good friend's exploits. I feared for Adam during the confrontation with Dale, and truly hoped that John would prove to be the white knight. In the end, I cheered when Adam took his life into his own hands, learned from his mistakes, and made a future for himself along a different path.
The highest praise I know how to give is to confess that I gave up both my laptop and my cell phone (something I never do) in order to read this undistracted. I read late into the night until I simply couldn't read anymore, then grabbed it up before coffee the next morning. I was that hooked. Very highly recommended.
Ever wonder what happens in someone's life that leads them to performing in porn? Going Down in La-La Land provides a very realistic answer to that question, and does it in a sympathetic manner. I found myself easily identifying with a young, gay aspiring actor, through hope, fear, triumph, and tragedy. Ironically, the character of Dale reminded me so much of Johnny Rebel in The Fluffer and his downward spiral into drugs.
The story pulled me in, and it's written in such a way that I felt like a trusted confidant to a good friend's exploits. I feared for Adam during the confrontation with Dale, and truly hoped that John would prove to be the white knight. In the end, I cheered when Adam took his life into his own hands, learned from his mistakes, and made a future for himself along a different path.
The highest praise I know how to give is to confess that I gave up both my laptop and my cell phone (something I never do) in order to read this undistracted. I read late into the night until I simply couldn't read anymore, then grabbed it up before coffee the next morning. I was that hooked. Very highly recommended.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 15, 2023
Funny, light with some darker undertones. If you enjoyed Marshall Thornton’s Pinx Video Mysteries series, or Nathan Aldynes mysteries, you’ll likely enjoy the banter of the main characters and their misadventures. No mysteries just a story of a young gay man trying to pursue his dreams of fame and fortune in California and finding not all what he hopes for
January 8, 2015
Bought the paperback about an eon ago. It was pretty good, but don't remember enough specifics to give a full review. : )
3 1/2 stars.
3 1/2 stars.
September 24, 2025
Not quite a romance, more a whirlwind tour of main character Adam's adventures in the gay LA underbelly of parties, porn, and sex work (with a couple of relationships along the way). A breezy tone helps lighten the sometimes dark material.
October 4, 2017
It was kind of a gay cliche. I thought a tale about sex and drugs would have more sex & drugs.
Read
January 16, 2011While Going Down in La-La Land is not a romance, I think that the romance readers will enjoy it (and there is a love story too). Andy Zeffer’s clone in the novel, Adam Zeller, is a wanna-be actor searching for the right chance in a sometime uncaring LA (La-La Land of the title); sounds familiar? It should be since it’s more or less the same story for every guy and girl wanting to be an Hollywood star, but of 1.000 trying, only 1 probably manages to reach the target, and the other 999 have to renounce to their dream after some more or less hard slap on their faces. What is probably even more familiar is that sometime the target is missed by a shot and the young boy or girl ends in the p. industry; not always this is a mark you cannot remove from your resume (I think to remember there are even rumors of some p. movie by Brad Pitt…), but most of the time it’s a mark you cannot remove from your soul. Adam is unapologetically gay and as soon as he realizes he has bills to pay and not steady work to gain money, it’s without much second thoughts that he enters the p. industry. Sure, at first it’s as assistant, but then he accepts to be on the tape and at the same time to turn tricks for wealthy businessmen and closeted actors. The outcome of this decision it’s obviously not positive, and even if probably Adam finds the true love of his life, he will not be able to live it in a romance-like way, since, as I said at the beginning, this is not a romance, and I suppose instead it’s pretty much what happened in real life to Andy Zeffer.
Andy Zeffer has even an IMDb page, like the one Adam has, and the most notable role is that of Rick Daniels in The Fluffer, a movie about the p. industry in Los Angeles (fluffer is that guy helping a p. actor to reach erection before the money shot) and in the novel Adam will manage a role in The Voyeur, “a behind the scene drama about the gay porn industry” (truth to Andy, he is also an extra in the more famous Celebrity by Woody Allen, something that Adam will not be able to achieve). From what I know Andy Zeffer’s career as an actor was pretty much similar to Adam and in an interview in 2006, to the question if Going Down in La-la Land was semi-autobiographical, Andy answered “Let’s just put it this way – you don’t have to search too hard to find naked pictures of me on the Internet.” Now, I didn’t, and actually haven’t searched for those naked pictures, but the one picture I found on that IMDb profile is of a really handsome man (see attached reference)… one prove more that good looks and willingness not always are a sure card to the stardom.
It seemed I spent a lot talking about Andy, but actually I was pretty much summarizing Adam’s experience in the novel. If you follow my suggestion and decide to read this novel, don’t be too worried for Adam’s fate: while he maybe will not be able to satisfy his Hollywood dreams, like Andy he will find another target to pursue, one that probably will give him more satisfactions. And if after worrying for Adam in the novel, you moved those worries to Andy, the good news is that there is a new credit on Andy Zeffer’s IMDb profile: that of “writer” for the script of Going Down in La-La Land; the movie has already premiered in various festival and will be probably soon available in DVD. I hope to be able to see and review it soon, above all since there are some dear friends (Jesse I’m talking of you) in it.
On a closing note I’d like to highlight the writing style: it was very open and direct, short chapters that sometime had the feeling of a journal entry (and that was good since all the novel actually read, and has to, like a memoirs); reading all the chapters together was like eating cherries, one after the other you didn’t realize you had almost finish the whole. Even if Adam has never got it "easy", the story was never "dramatic" and that was mainly due to the approach of Adam (Andy?) to life; maybe he hasn't always taken the right decisions, but in the end he will be able to see what is good for him (even if it can/will break his heart).
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1560235977/?...
Andy Zeffer has even an IMDb page, like the one Adam has, and the most notable role is that of Rick Daniels in The Fluffer, a movie about the p. industry in Los Angeles (fluffer is that guy helping a p. actor to reach erection before the money shot) and in the novel Adam will manage a role in The Voyeur, “a behind the scene drama about the gay porn industry” (truth to Andy, he is also an extra in the more famous Celebrity by Woody Allen, something that Adam will not be able to achieve). From what I know Andy Zeffer’s career as an actor was pretty much similar to Adam and in an interview in 2006, to the question if Going Down in La-la Land was semi-autobiographical, Andy answered “Let’s just put it this way – you don’t have to search too hard to find naked pictures of me on the Internet.” Now, I didn’t, and actually haven’t searched for those naked pictures, but the one picture I found on that IMDb profile is of a really handsome man (see attached reference)… one prove more that good looks and willingness not always are a sure card to the stardom.
It seemed I spent a lot talking about Andy, but actually I was pretty much summarizing Adam’s experience in the novel. If you follow my suggestion and decide to read this novel, don’t be too worried for Adam’s fate: while he maybe will not be able to satisfy his Hollywood dreams, like Andy he will find another target to pursue, one that probably will give him more satisfactions. And if after worrying for Adam in the novel, you moved those worries to Andy, the good news is that there is a new credit on Andy Zeffer’s IMDb profile: that of “writer” for the script of Going Down in La-La Land; the movie has already premiered in various festival and will be probably soon available in DVD. I hope to be able to see and review it soon, above all since there are some dear friends (Jesse I’m talking of you) in it.
On a closing note I’d like to highlight the writing style: it was very open and direct, short chapters that sometime had the feeling of a journal entry (and that was good since all the novel actually read, and has to, like a memoirs); reading all the chapters together was like eating cherries, one after the other you didn’t realize you had almost finish the whole. Even if Adam has never got it "easy", the story was never "dramatic" and that was mainly due to the approach of Adam (Andy?) to life; maybe he hasn't always taken the right decisions, but in the end he will be able to see what is good for him (even if it can/will break his heart).
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1560235977/?...
August 11, 2022
Adam, an aspiring actor, makes the trip from New York to LA in search of fame and fortune. What he finds is a trip into the underside of fame in LA.
Here is a modern-day Rake’s Progress; Adam (the narrator) arrives in LA with such high hopes, he has the looks and talent to be a star, but he finds an unfriendly city where he can’t get his foot on the bottom rung of the showbusiness ladder.
This novel could have been a pro-faced, and even homophobic, grime tale, warning about the “evils” of Hollywood. Instead, Zeffer’s insightful but equally humorous prose lifts this novel into a far more enjoyable read. Adam’s self-deprecating humour is refreshing and helps make this such a readable book; even as his career spirals down, he still has his eyes set on being a star, imagining himself (when he finally becomes that star) confessing to his sordid past on yet another chat show. Adam’s spiral downwards, until he ends up working in gay porn because he is so broke, is handled well and is all too believable. What is also so believable is his big break, as the personal assistant/closeted boyfriend to a TV star, and the scandal he gets caught up in.
This novel provides fascinating insights into the different levels of showbusiness in Hollywood. How the real stars treat those people below them, but those people’s work keeps them a star. How everyone in LA seems to be part of showbusiness, one way or another. How the only time he is treated with any dignity is when he works in gay porn.
Zeffer gives this novel a downbeat but all too real ending, unlike the Hollywood ending of the film based on this novel, leaving the impression that this was a time of madness in the narrator’s life before he returned to the real world when he left LA.
This novel is very much based on fact, on Zeffer’s own experiences as a would-be actor in Hollywood; he and the narrator share the same surname, but he does not present us with a novel-as-act-of-revenge, neither is this a cautionary tale. Instead, Zeffer presents this novel as a story that happened without any more judgment. This is a novel for all of us who never believed those rags-to-riches Hollywood stories.
Here is a modern-day Rake’s Progress; Adam (the narrator) arrives in LA with such high hopes, he has the looks and talent to be a star, but he finds an unfriendly city where he can’t get his foot on the bottom rung of the showbusiness ladder.
This novel could have been a pro-faced, and even homophobic, grime tale, warning about the “evils” of Hollywood. Instead, Zeffer’s insightful but equally humorous prose lifts this novel into a far more enjoyable read. Adam’s self-deprecating humour is refreshing and helps make this such a readable book; even as his career spirals down, he still has his eyes set on being a star, imagining himself (when he finally becomes that star) confessing to his sordid past on yet another chat show. Adam’s spiral downwards, until he ends up working in gay porn because he is so broke, is handled well and is all too believable. What is also so believable is his big break, as the personal assistant/closeted boyfriend to a TV star, and the scandal he gets caught up in.
This novel provides fascinating insights into the different levels of showbusiness in Hollywood. How the real stars treat those people below them, but those people’s work keeps them a star. How everyone in LA seems to be part of showbusiness, one way or another. How the only time he is treated with any dignity is when he works in gay porn.
Zeffer gives this novel a downbeat but all too real ending, unlike the Hollywood ending of the film based on this novel, leaving the impression that this was a time of madness in the narrator’s life before he returned to the real world when he left LA.
This novel is very much based on fact, on Zeffer’s own experiences as a would-be actor in Hollywood; he and the narrator share the same surname, but he does not present us with a novel-as-act-of-revenge, neither is this a cautionary tale. Instead, Zeffer presents this novel as a story that happened without any more judgment. This is a novel for all of us who never believed those rags-to-riches Hollywood stories.
July 31, 2012
I would like to rate this higher. The story is engaging, as are the characters. I just couldn't get past the clumsy writing style.
August 13, 2015
I liked the book though my copy had several grammatical errors, also I was disappointed by the use of the word retard in the book. Though I thought all in all it was pretty good book
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews