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Miss Leslie's Behaviour Book: A Guide and Manual for Ladies
This is an OCR edition without illustrations or index. It may have numerous typos or missing text. However, purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original rare book from GeneralBooksClub.com. You can also preview excerpts from the book there. Purchasers are also entitled to a free trial membership in the General Books Club where they can select from more than a million books without charge. Original Published W.P. Hazard in 1853 in 324 pages; Etiquette for women; Reference / Etiquette;
336 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1859
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
August 12, 2015
Full review at Smart Bitches, Trashy Books
In the early 1800s, if you were a woman in America or England who wanted to know how to cook, how to run a household, and how to behave, you were likely to turn to Eliza Leslie, also known as Miss Leslie. As a member of the middle class (her father was a watchmaker) who lived in England and America, Miss Leslie imparted advice that could help the reader cope with an aristocratic ball or a low-grade boarding house, at home or abroad, with equal aplomb.
The thrill of this book isn’t so much the manners as all the other details of life that are revealed. For instance, this book contains detailed instructions on how to make ink and how to make paste. It describes changes in speech and customs, and differences between American and British social mores. There’s a comprehensive guide to British titles for the benefit of Americans who are travelling abroad or entertaining. The stuff about grammar and slang reveals when phrases were coming in and out of fashion. The advice regarding letters is full of history about envelopes and stamps and general geography. There’s a chapter on how to treat literary women that is just as apt now as it was then, a chapter on children that is full of solid common sense, and enough information about fashion and clothes to make any historical re-enactor or cosplayer proud.
Because this was written in the 1800s in America, it’s full of stuff about class, gender, and race. HUGE trigger alert for sexism, racism, and ablesism. Interestingly, Miss Leslie seems to think much more highly of people who are “coloured” than people who are immigrants, and woe betide you if you’re Irish. Miss Leslie can hardly be thought to be progressive in modern terms in her ideas about race – at best, she’s condescending. She highly respects “coloured” servants and waiters in high positions and clearly regards them as not only capable but often better at etiquette than the white people they serve (she also instructs the reader not to refer to young men of color as “boys”).
Ouch.
- Carrie S.
In the early 1800s, if you were a woman in America or England who wanted to know how to cook, how to run a household, and how to behave, you were likely to turn to Eliza Leslie, also known as Miss Leslie. As a member of the middle class (her father was a watchmaker) who lived in England and America, Miss Leslie imparted advice that could help the reader cope with an aristocratic ball or a low-grade boarding house, at home or abroad, with equal aplomb.
The thrill of this book isn’t so much the manners as all the other details of life that are revealed. For instance, this book contains detailed instructions on how to make ink and how to make paste. It describes changes in speech and customs, and differences between American and British social mores. There’s a comprehensive guide to British titles for the benefit of Americans who are travelling abroad or entertaining. The stuff about grammar and slang reveals when phrases were coming in and out of fashion. The advice regarding letters is full of history about envelopes and stamps and general geography. There’s a chapter on how to treat literary women that is just as apt now as it was then, a chapter on children that is full of solid common sense, and enough information about fashion and clothes to make any historical re-enactor or cosplayer proud.
Because this was written in the 1800s in America, it’s full of stuff about class, gender, and race. HUGE trigger alert for sexism, racism, and ablesism. Interestingly, Miss Leslie seems to think much more highly of people who are “coloured” than people who are immigrants, and woe betide you if you’re Irish. Miss Leslie can hardly be thought to be progressive in modern terms in her ideas about race – at best, she’s condescending. She highly respects “coloured” servants and waiters in high positions and clearly regards them as not only capable but often better at etiquette than the white people they serve (she also instructs the reader not to refer to young men of color as “boys”).
Ouch.
- Carrie S.
August 25, 2014
I am fairly positive that "Eliza Leslie" is actually Lady Catherine de Bourgh (an antebellum Lady Catherine from Philadelphia, to be sure, but stranger things have happened). There is something regally ridiculous about her narrative voice.
Some choice edicts:
"No colours are more ungenteel, or in worse taste, than reddish lilacs, reddish purples, and reddish browns."
"Above all, do not travel in white kid gloves. Respectable women never do."*
"Ladies no longer eat salt-fish at a public-table."
"Pouring butter-sauce over any thing is now ungenteel."
"We doubt if in the present day the talk and manners of Johnson would have been tolerated in really good society."
"Beware of trusting an infant, too confidingly, to an European nurse."
"Dancing at weddings is old-fashioned."
The Ladies' Guide is an interesting cultural artifact. Painful to read, in places--Miss Leslie, as well as being entertaining, is misogynistic and implacably racist.
*Happy to say I have NEVER ONCE contravened this injunction!! Clearly am naturally respectable.
Some choice edicts:
"No colours are more ungenteel, or in worse taste, than reddish lilacs, reddish purples, and reddish browns."
"Above all, do not travel in white kid gloves. Respectable women never do."*
"Ladies no longer eat salt-fish at a public-table."
"Pouring butter-sauce over any thing is now ungenteel."
"We doubt if in the present day the talk and manners of Johnson would have been tolerated in really good society."
"Beware of trusting an infant, too confidingly, to an European nurse."
"Dancing at weddings is old-fashioned."
The Ladies' Guide is an interesting cultural artifact. Painful to read, in places--Miss Leslie, as well as being entertaining, is misogynistic and implacably racist.
*Happy to say I have NEVER ONCE contravened this injunction!! Clearly am naturally respectable.
March 26, 2017
A fine example of mid-nineteenth century American manners.
April 25, 2015
Both historical and hilarious, Miss Leslie's Behaviour Book makes for an enjoyable read. Some of her injunctions for upper class ladies really got me thinking, and the author's intelligent wit and personality shine through each line.
However, Miss Leslie is very obviously misogynistic and racist- she seems to prefer African American servants, and detests Irish ones. It was fascinating to see how completely she had internalized the rigid societal norms and niceties of her era.
As a fan of historical fiction, this had me drawing many parallels with Gone With The Wind and other Civil War novels. Recommended for those who enjoy exploring history, culture, and the evolving role of women in society.
However, Miss Leslie is very obviously misogynistic and racist- she seems to prefer African American servants, and detests Irish ones. It was fascinating to see how completely she had internalized the rigid societal norms and niceties of her era.
As a fan of historical fiction, this had me drawing many parallels with Gone With The Wind and other Civil War novels. Recommended for those who enjoy exploring history, culture, and the evolving role of women in society.
April 5, 2016
Good common sense
I thought this book would be good for a laugh. Instead I found a lot of good solid advice that would apply to any time. Yes, it is rare to see a woman carrying a fan these days, so advice on how to handle it is outdated. But other things such as splitting up your money and putting it in different pockets or purses when you're traveling is good advice anytime. I found nothing to laugh it and much to admire.
I thought this book would be good for a laugh. Instead I found a lot of good solid advice that would apply to any time. Yes, it is rare to see a woman carrying a fan these days, so advice on how to handle it is outdated. But other things such as splitting up your money and putting it in different pockets or purses when you're traveling is good advice anytime. I found nothing to laugh it and much to admire.
September 6, 2015
Times change
It's difficult to know how to review etiquette of another era. Her world is not mine. Some of it reminds me of advice I received in childhood from elders--pay your way, so no boy "expects anything", don't annoy others with your opinions, be grateful or silent. Much, thankfully, has changed. This is most easily apparent in sections about ship travel, "the help", "the colored", and the like.
It's difficult to know how to review etiquette of another era. Her world is not mine. Some of it reminds me of advice I received in childhood from elders--pay your way, so no boy "expects anything", don't annoy others with your opinions, be grateful or silent. Much, thankfully, has changed. This is most easily apparent in sections about ship travel, "the help", "the colored", and the like.
Want to Read
August 6, 2015Miss Eliza Leslie was the Miss Manners of 19th century America. Read a very interesting review of her etiquette book at Smart Bitches Trashy Books. Free for Kindle and at Project Gutenberg.
August 11, 2015
Very entertaining
I found this book to be very entertaining and fun. My how times have changed and in a very good way
I found this book to be very entertaining and fun. My how times have changed and in a very good way
September 6, 2015
How in hell could you wear mittens while eating? And, more important, why would you want to? I would've made a truly shitty Victorian lady.
October 3, 2019
It feels bizarre to give a rating at all for a book which I read as an historical artefact - like examining an old costume, my own personal unwillingness to wear it shouldn't really matter. But I enjoy reading various older etiquette books, and this one takes the cake for snarkiness and thinly-veiled gossip. An entire chapter on how not to annoy your female author acquaintances? Subtly done, Miss Leslie...
January 29, 2020
Witty, engaging, charming. If you are interested in mid-19th century etiquette this is the book for you.
This is obviously nonfiction but it is so fluent and easy to read a d bursting with a humour you wouldn't expect from a work so old.
As far as accuracy goes I can't really evaluate but trusting the book on that point I think it is a wonderful look into the lives of women and also men in that period of time.
Highly recommend if you like Austen, Brontë and younger works!
This is obviously nonfiction but it is so fluent and easy to read a d bursting with a humour you wouldn't expect from a work so old.
As far as accuracy goes I can't really evaluate but trusting the book on that point I think it is a wonderful look into the lives of women and also men in that period of time.
Highly recommend if you like Austen, Brontë and younger works!
May 24, 2021
Very interesting to see how much has changed over time. I enjoyed reading this book and what was expected of young women back then. Some things are very ridiculous but there are some things that would be nice to have back. Manners were taught in about every circumstance you can think of and I found it very interesting to read and imagine life back then.
December 6, 2024
For anyone aspiring to lead a more considerate and polished life, I enthusiastically endorse this insightful handbook as a valuable companion on their journey.
January 1, 2013
Kind of dreary bleating instruction manual for upper class Victorian American ladies. It was amusing at first but then became really dull. It is interesting from a social history point of view, but after 15% in I got extremely bored with the endless rules upon rules on every trifling thing.
January 1, 2020
Awesome insight as to the thinking of society back in the 1800s!
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews