It's Personal: Five Questions You Should Answer to Give Every Kid Hope

by Reggie Joiner, Kristen Ivy, Virginia Ward

What if knowing the answers to five simple questions could give a kid hope? In a world where kids are known by a number on a jersey, digits on a car pool tag, and random usernames, we need more adults who will stop and take the time to know them personally. It's Personal is for volunteers and other leaders who work with children and teenagers. A practical guide for a personal (and more effective and fulfilling) approach to leading kids, It's Personal revisits the story of Zacchaeus and explores Jesus' simple model for how to be personal. Jesus' encounter with Zacchaeus shows us how to engage kids and teenagers personally to give them a renewed sense of identity, belonging, and purpose. Something remarkable can happen when you start seeing people the way Jesus sees them. Taking the time to answer the five questions in this book for a kid or teenager could radically change someone's faith, maybe even yours.

Genres: Christian, Leadership, Nonfiction, Faith, Discipleship

104 pages, Paperback

Published April 21, 2019

About the author

Reggie Joiner is the founder and CEO of Orange, a non-profit organization whose purpose is to influence those who influence the next generation. Author of more than 30 books, including Think Orange, Seven Practices of Effective Ministry, and Lead Small. Reggie has changed the way churches and organizations create environments for and equip leaders, parents, and the next generation. Orange partners with over 8,000 churches internationally and is the architect of the Orange Conference and the Orange Tour, which provide national training opportunities for senior pastors, church leaders, and ministry volunteers.

Prior to Orange and along with Andy Stanley, Reggie co-founded North Point Community Church in Alpharetta, Georgia. During his 11 years as the executive director of Family Ministry, Reggie developed the new concepts of ministry for preschoolers, children, students, and married adults. He has found a way to wear orange for 4,353 days and counting.

Reggie is a graduate of Georgia Southwestern College. He and his wife Debbie have four grown children and live near Atlanta.

Reviews

[Joan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Maybe you have just been asked to work with the youth in your church. Panic sets in as you realize it has been decades since you have been their age. Maybe you have been working with youth for years and you realize you are not getting through to them the way you had dreamed you would.

The authors come to your rescue with this book. They help you disciple young people in a way that is relational. If you want to see transformation, your work must be personal. The authors explain how that can be done, developing authentic relationships. They do so in the context of the story of Jesus and His encounter with Zacchaeus.

The authors interviewed volunteers to discover the pitfalls and best practices for meaningful ministry with young people. They suggest five major strategies related to identity, worth, empathy, love and belief. Something as basic as knowing their name and learning how to pronounce it properly shows you honor their identity, for example. The authors give lots of practical suggestions for developing all five important relational values.

This is a short book that can be read of an evening. It is full of important material on ministering to young people. They need to know they are loved by God and that they can love others. It can best be understood when they see it demonstrated by adults. I especially appreciated the authors' suggestions for working with a person when their behavior has been sinful.

This is a good book for anyone working with young people and willing to take the time and effort to establish personal and meaningful relationships with them. You'll find good teaching and practical suggestions for making a difference in the lives of those you come to touch.

I received a complimentary digital copy of this book through Zilker Media. My comments are an independent and honest review.

[Jonathan Beigle · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's Personal is a very simple, short book that walks through the story of Zacchaeus and how it can be applied with ministry to kids/youth. There is nothing too profound, but the point is stressed that you will never be able to have a real impact on kids unless you really, really get to know them. A surface-level relationship will not have an impact on them...it must be personal. Even being able to say or spell someone's name correctly can have a huge impact on them (trust me, my last name is said or spelled incorrectly about 95% of the time). After nearly 15 years a youth ministry volunteer, I've seen these truths really show through personally. I don't think this book is only applicable to kids/youth ministry though...it can apply to all leadership positions. With those kids that I've invested in personally, it's really made a difference. You can't do it well with 20 kids at a time, but if you invest in a few, it'll leave a lasting impact...just like my 8th grade youth leader did to me.

Favorite quotes:
p. 13 - "Jesus never got so busy trying to save everyone that He didn't stop to help someone."
p. 38 - "When you make it a habit to discover another person's interests, they become more interesting to you. And when you pause to discover another person's interests, you will actually become more interesting."
p. 57 - "The key to developing empathy is not having lived the same experience as someone else, but tapping into the same emotion someone else is feeling and feeling it with them."
p. 72 - "Being guilty is part of being human. But living with shame is something you choose."
p. 79 - "A lot of people, especially kids and teenagers, need someone to believe they can do something they may not even realize they can do."

[Brandon Bonville · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I've read on practically being more intentional with people around me. While this book is targeted for people that work with kids or students, it is a must read for anyone that wants to be better at getting to know those around them.

[Molly Andrews · Rating 4 out of 5]

✨4.5

[Holland · Rating 4 out of 5]

So for a Christian based book, it’s not bad. I didn’t realize that when I bought it (oops!) but I decided to read it anyway. What I guess I just don’t have enough biblical context to understand is … is the story of Jesus and Zaccheus *really* the most illustrative ? Honestly Zaccheus sounds like kind of a dick and I don’t think we should be seeing the teens we are working with as such. Zaccheus was old & experienced enough to know better and thus do better. Our teens are just getting along as best they know how - while it’s cool Jesus could extend such grace to Zaccheus, I don’t see that happening for me or most people. The Bible is LONG - is there not a better frame of reference?
Anyway, taken for what it is, I liked this & definitely get the gist.

[Moriah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful read for working with young people. The five questions posed:
1. Do you know my name?
2. Do you know what matters to me?
3. Do you know where I live?
4. Do you know what I've done?
5. Do you know what I can do?
seem simple on their own. However, I think the thing this book and other Orange books do well is take something that typically feels like a "you got it or you don't" skillset and makes it teachable. I feel VERY comfortable asking these questions and engaging with students in personal and intentional ways. But for others who don't or who want to grow (which is also me), this book provides some great ways to practice engaging in deeper ways. Recommend for teachers, youth pastors, volunteers, parents.

[Garrett Bagwell · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book doesn’t necessarily offer anything radical or innovative when it comes to Orange’s ministry philosophy, but it does provide a powerful, biblical, and enticing portrait of what deeply personal ministry can look like. If you are a leader of the next generation, or a leader of those leaders, you must read this book and internalize its principles.

We must become more personal and relational as we work with young people—they crave authenticity and are repulsed by its opposite. The writers at Orange understand how to capture the essence of relational ministry and define it specifically and practically. If you’re curious what it really takes to be truly “personal,” read this book.

[Kyle Kochel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book used the central story of Zacchaeus to show just how personal God truly is. When we operate in intentional relationships we are our best selves and can make the most impact on others. This book was thought-provoking and challenging and was an excellent book for our church youth group leaders to go through together.

[Tyler Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super good, lots of practical tips on making youth ministry personal. My favorite chapter was about remembering names… something I’m terrible at, but see great significance in doing. It translates ok to College ministry (my natural sphere) but some of it is less transferable. Overall, a wonderful read.

[Griffin Swihart · Rating 4 out of 5]

Candidly, I’m not the biggest fan of some of what Orange produces—but this book is a helpful resource! While I wish it went deeper and more specific with ways for people to “get personal,” the readability and brevity should make this a worthwhile read for anyone involved in kids and student ministry

[4.5]

[Joshua Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a powerful book, not just for next gen leaders, but for everyone. It’s important that we get personal and not just throw the gospel at people, we need to actually be the gospel.
We need to stop being shallow and get personal.

[Daniel Myers · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really like a lot of the content and application, but I think it makes God too small in places and puts responsibility on the leader. Instead we need to do these things, but trust in God for the harvest.

[Derek Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simple reminders of how we can make a big difference by personalizing ministry. Everyone wants to be known and this book helps us take those needed steps to make sure kids and students feel like they belong.

[Eric · Rating 3 out of 5]

The underlying ideas were good, but it felt like a 30 minute sermon's worth of material fluffed out into the minimum publishable size. Nonetheless, worth the read (unless you can dig up the TED talk).

[avery nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

this book is important for leaders, volunteers, teachers, and even parents. i finished it in a day of substitute teaching, and it already had me thinking about the way i was speaking with the kids. encouraging, informative, and helpful. highly recommend.

[Sharon Middleton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone who works in a ministry with kids or teens should read this book. Very practical advice and encouragement!

[Hannah Mann · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love anything that helps me dive deeper into what it means to love and pour into those younger well! Easy read. Love the deep dive into Zacchaeus.

[Daniel Harding · Rating 4 out of 5]

Foundational. Structural. Practical. Helpful.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truly transformational!

[Riley Rentz · Rating 5 out of 5]

a reread! so so good!

[Nicole Nelson · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 - I loved how this had great and useful advice for being intentional. Helpful for anyone working with kids or teenagers!!

[Chase Bartlett · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyed: 3/4
Accomplishment: 1/2
Reread: 1/2 Specific Chapters
Recommend: 1/2
Learn: 1

[Jenny Evans · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing!!!!!!

[Andrew Klob · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found this book to be a simple reminder of how to invest in youth of any age. The theology and Gospel that was presented was weak/watered-down in my opinion and I felt that they may have forced their opinions into the story of Nicodemus (which is woven throughout the book). Nevertheless, despite the fact that I felt like the material was rather basic, there was still some good information in here on how to pour into the lives of others.