First 40% is good… plot is going, romance is simmering, everything flows and is logical. I’m interested. Then, the entire thing collapses.
Halfway mark is slow going. Too many calls, repeated convos between various parties, and time spent doing nothing. But, I’m still reading and waiting for the point here.
The FMC feels like a schizophrenic… docile and submissive one minute and running off to be TSTL the next. Angry at help… angry at being kept in the dark. Loving to hostile. Smart to stupid. It’s like a rollercoaster, and it becomes too much work. By the end of the book, no one knows anything more about her life prior to the book starting…. You mean she didn’t have a single fucking friend, coworker, neighbor, schoolmate, no one in her life prior to her mom’s funeral? What kind of work did she do? A half ass mention that she did part time bartending in the past but that’s it. How did she support herself? I can’t tell you a single thing about HER other than a family tree. That’s just sloppy character building.
The MMC starts alpha and turns to what would happen if Hulk was shot in the dick by Cupid. Again, outside of his family tree, reader is left knowing NOTHING about him.
The romance goes from 0 -100 with no chemistry build. It’s an I hate you situation to ‘oh, why don’t we screw’ to damn ILY cause you’re hot. Heat is 2 outta 10.
Just how many secret kids can one guy have?
Supposed to be a standalone- first book in the series, but there are clearly multiple backstories that the reader is clueless about about a shit load of secondary characters.
After 50%, a lot of the plot push just isn’t realistic. For example, the FMC can’t be told about x because it’s “club business” (really it’s so the author has an angst point) but the MMC tells her about many other club facets freely.
The MMC’s language and word choices are awkward and inauthentic to a MC guy. He sounds like a college kid, not MC. And, no, throwing in curse words around that speech pattern doesn’t make it any more authentic.
The injuries the author used should have been properly researched. The recoveries were ridiculous.
The plot climax and resolution is out of nowhere. Literally, the characters are kidnapped out of thin air. No how, when, where - a chapter just suddenly appears, and the story reaches its peak and resolve in a couple of random pages.
Potential, but it falls on its ass in a pool of nonsense, cliches, inauthenticity, and stagnant kaboom plot.
On a positive note, the grammatical side is great.