Excellent, empathetic and thoroughly insightful resource. Cogen understands the adoptee's psyche, and know how to link every challenging behaviour to its source i.e. fear of abandonment and an internalised sense of inadequacy. Thoroughly engaging and practical, Cogen consistently refers to the experiences of five international adoptees she worked with from their toddler-aged adoption, t through to adulthood. Using their personal experiences, she itemises common problems adoptees face, and provides compassionate and practical means of support. Common problems were slotted under neat, accessible, user-friendly headings. I enjoyed the many snippets of conversations between parent and child, as they provided insightful and pointed examples of how one might conduct conversations with their adopted kids. There was no beating around the bush, vagueness or pretensions. Just excellent practical advice, and their outcomes, illustrated from real live experiences of adoptees and their families. Cogen consistently tackles each problem at their emotional root, always identifying the psychological insecurities underlying challenging behaviour. My only criticism, is that Cogen veered into over-leniency in situations of verbal abuse from pre-teens and teens. In such situations, advice on less permissive forms of discipline, would have been informative.