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Lonely Asian Woman
Lonely Asian Woman, Sharon Lam's debut novel, ruthlessly skewers stereotypes of Asian-New Zealanders at the same time as it offers a fantastical Wellington-centric bildungsroman.
The novel is set in contemporary Wellington and follows Paula, a lazy young woman who is stuck in a rut. The sight of a spam ad for ‘lonely Asian women looking for fun’ becomes a moment of profound realisation that she, too, is but a lonely Asian woman looking for fun. Paula's new outlook leads her to shoplift a cheesecake-laden supermarket trolley. The trolley contains an unexpected attachment. Lonely Asian Woman is not the story of a young woman coming to her responsibilities in the world. Instead, Lam defies the expected and leads the reader and her characters to a deft climax against the grain of the titular lonely Asian woman.
The novel is set in contemporary Wellington and follows Paula, a lazy young woman who is stuck in a rut. The sight of a spam ad for ‘lonely Asian women looking for fun’ becomes a moment of profound realisation that she, too, is but a lonely Asian woman looking for fun. Paula's new outlook leads her to shoplift a cheesecake-laden supermarket trolley. The trolley contains an unexpected attachment. Lonely Asian Woman is not the story of a young woman coming to her responsibilities in the world. Instead, Lam defies the expected and leads the reader and her characters to a deft climax against the grain of the titular lonely Asian woman.
183 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
November 21, 2019
Read in a single sick day, almost in one session.
Extremely good. Features some of the best writing about Wellington I’ve read. I’m usually quite annoyed at books for not having much plot but didn’t mind that this one didn’t have much plot for its first half or so, and then was very surprised when it suddenly had a lot more plot.
Extremely good. Features some of the best writing about Wellington I’ve read. I’m usually quite annoyed at books for not having much plot but didn’t mind that this one didn’t have much plot for its first half or so, and then was very surprised when it suddenly had a lot more plot.
May 7, 2019
a beautiful/surreal/hilarious novel about love/architecture/accidental baby-theft with friends/carb-loving doppelgängers/Tom Hanks, i loved it
April 3, 2019
“Return journeys always felt faster: it took less energy to remember the old than to imagine the new.”
This was weird and hilarious and surreal in parts, kinda like its cover actually: a giant, floating baby, ass first, in Singapore’s Gardens By The Bay (Planet by Marc Quinn). I wasn’t always sure what was happening, what absurdity was real or imaginary, but I was there for the ride!
Set in an unnamed but familiar city, Paula is adrift. She’s aimless, jobless, living on her own and seeing a guy named Eric who leaves for Copenhagen soon after the story begins. She has a loose group of friends who she associated with every so often, but while they may have other lives, hers is contained to her apartment and near surrounds. Without Eric to fill her days, she becomes increasingly bored and listless, turning to the internet for company. A sighting of a spam ad for ‘lonely Asian women looking for fun’ turns into an epiphany where Paula realises that she too is a lonely Asian woman looking for fun. After a couple of days cooped up by herself, Paula’s state of mind leads her to do something out of character: she steals a supermarket trolley with goods she couldn’t afford to get at the time, except she gets more than she bargains for!
Reading a plot summary like that, you think you’d know how it all ends but you’d be surprised. Sharon Lam defies expectations, playfully experiments with form, detonates cultural stereotypes, all while portraying authentic experiences of what it might actually mean to be a lonely Asian woman in a small city in New Zealand - that observation re: “the critical mass of a population needed to ensure quality xiao long bao” though! 😂👌🏽 That thread of ennui running throughout brings to mind books like My Year of Rest & Relaxation, and The Pisces, except this is even more bonkers!
This was weird and hilarious and surreal in parts, kinda like its cover actually: a giant, floating baby, ass first, in Singapore’s Gardens By The Bay (Planet by Marc Quinn). I wasn’t always sure what was happening, what absurdity was real or imaginary, but I was there for the ride!
Set in an unnamed but familiar city, Paula is adrift. She’s aimless, jobless, living on her own and seeing a guy named Eric who leaves for Copenhagen soon after the story begins. She has a loose group of friends who she associated with every so often, but while they may have other lives, hers is contained to her apartment and near surrounds. Without Eric to fill her days, she becomes increasingly bored and listless, turning to the internet for company. A sighting of a spam ad for ‘lonely Asian women looking for fun’ turns into an epiphany where Paula realises that she too is a lonely Asian woman looking for fun. After a couple of days cooped up by herself, Paula’s state of mind leads her to do something out of character: she steals a supermarket trolley with goods she couldn’t afford to get at the time, except she gets more than she bargains for!
Reading a plot summary like that, you think you’d know how it all ends but you’d be surprised. Sharon Lam defies expectations, playfully experiments with form, detonates cultural stereotypes, all while portraying authentic experiences of what it might actually mean to be a lonely Asian woman in a small city in New Zealand - that observation re: “the critical mass of a population needed to ensure quality xiao long bao” though! 😂👌🏽 That thread of ennui running throughout brings to mind books like My Year of Rest & Relaxation, and The Pisces, except this is even more bonkers!
August 14, 2022
lonely Asian Woman. Funny title. Am I a lonely Asian Woman? Why is the cover photo of the giant baby atGardens By The Bay? Why does the author’s photo kinda look like one of my sister’s friends?
Intrigued. Picked up the book. it was as expected: “the literary equivalent of supermarket sushi. “
Intrigued. Picked up the book. it was as expected: “the literary equivalent of supermarket sushi. “
November 27, 2023
read in 2021 so having to cast my mind BACK but i remember this being very lit and hilarious.
Unhinged narrator but set in NZ and asian (i tire of the whiteness/ eurocentrism of this unhinged narrator genre for sure).
Something relatable about this book was that both me and the narrator were doing nothing in our lives lol. i don't mean that as a condemnation. i just remember all my friends were working and i was lying on the carpet with a general sense of idleness.
It's kind of like a my year of rest and relaxation esque vibe, early/ mid twenties crisis, anticapitalist malaise. but this one is very funny and then gets surreal.
I loved it for the vibes and also the cover is sick and also Sharon Lam's writing generally, non fic and fic, is so sick, so i'm giving it a 4.
The latter half of the book i wasn't as convinced by but i went along for the ride cause a lot of other stuff was working for me. xxxxx
Unhinged narrator but set in NZ and asian (i tire of the whiteness/ eurocentrism of this unhinged narrator genre for sure).
Something relatable about this book was that both me and the narrator were doing nothing in our lives lol. i don't mean that as a condemnation. i just remember all my friends were working and i was lying on the carpet with a general sense of idleness.
It's kind of like a my year of rest and relaxation esque vibe, early/ mid twenties crisis, anticapitalist malaise. but this one is very funny and then gets surreal.
I loved it for the vibes and also the cover is sick and also Sharon Lam's writing generally, non fic and fic, is so sick, so i'm giving it a 4.
The latter half of the book i wasn't as convinced by but i went along for the ride cause a lot of other stuff was working for me. xxxxx
March 24, 2019
holy shit this was an incredible read
June 27, 2019
Sharon serves you up a hearty slice of life with a dollop of surrealism on the side. You ask Sharon "Sorry, I didn't realise this came with surrealism and I'm trying to watch my figure haha, could I change it for yoghurt?" She walks away, maybe she didn't hear you, you eat your slice of life WITH surrealism and it's delicious. Sharon brings you a 5 L carton of yoghurt.
September 17, 2022
An incredibly absurd and genuinely hilarious novel about imaginary alter egos and accidental baby theft—set in Wellington?!
Maybe a parallel universe Wellington where you get lunch at “Lady Penang” and “CK Cafe”.
I guess being an adult is hard :///
Maybe a parallel universe Wellington where you get lunch at “Lady Penang” and “CK Cafe”.
I guess being an adult is hard :///
July 25, 2022
I really, desperately, wanted to like this book. I’d heard how funny it was supposed to be, how inventive. And I feel this loyalty towards Asian females authors writing about the Asian female experience. — But this wasn’t my kind of book at all.
I found the writing amateur. The style of the book is meant to be exaggeratedly funny and rather surreal, but the jokes and situations felt heavy handed.
Take this line:
The sentence could have stopped after “It was meant to be funny”, and trusted the reader to infer the joke, but there’s this tendency Lam has to just overdo it in her writing.
Here’s another example:
And it carries on in this manner for the rest of the page. Obviously “at the club” is repeated here for comedic effect… but it’s not actually that funny. There are a number of gimmicks used throughout the book that made me think, oh no this is an author who doesn’t understand the craftsmanship that goes into wonderful writing, and instead seeks to convince readers this is “innovative” through silly tricks. The story is interspersed with text messages, emails, random book excerpts, lists of multiple choice questions. And… I experienced these gimmicks as distracting and hollow.
This passage also really annoyed me:
— The book proceeds to continue in this manner for three frickin pages!! —
And I get it, I get it! The massive run-on sentence with phrases repeated in the same style is meant to mimic the feeling of mundanity in Paula’s day. But it’s just such a shallow way of conveying this feeling because of how obvious the gimmick is to spot. I want to read stories with interesting characters; to get lost in plot and thoughtful themes. I think an author stifles their development by relying too much on gimmicks like this to sell their story.
Ultimately, this book felt like someone’s writing project; like someone’s final thesis to graduate with their master’s in creative writing or what not. — It wanted to show off how clever it could be, but in doing so, made it difficult to connect with and simply enjoy the story. This has to be up there as one of my most disappointing reads of the year.
I found the writing amateur. The style of the book is meant to be exaggeratedly funny and rather surreal, but the jokes and situations felt heavy handed.
Take this line:
”Jay’s architecture firm was called Win:do. It was meant to be funny because it was like window, like win, like do.”
The sentence could have stopped after “It was meant to be funny”, and trusted the reader to infer the joke, but there’s this tendency Lam has to just overdo it in her writing.
Here’s another example:
”Jake was at the club. It wasn’t good that Jake was at the club because Paula was at the club. But Paula wasn’t surprised that Jake was at the club because he told her he was at the club. He also said Taylor and Sophie and Hee Jeong were at the club and Paula said Odie should we go to the club and Odie said Jake is at the club isn’t he…”
And it carries on in this manner for the rest of the page. Obviously “at the club” is repeated here for comedic effect… but it’s not actually that funny. There are a number of gimmicks used throughout the book that made me think, oh no this is an author who doesn’t understand the craftsmanship that goes into wonderful writing, and instead seeks to convince readers this is “innovative” through silly tricks. The story is interspersed with text messages, emails, random book excerpts, lists of multiple choice questions. And… I experienced these gimmicks as distracting and hollow.
This passage also really annoyed me:
”Paula tried to will herself back to sleep. Failing this, she got up, peed, put the kettle on, waited for it to boil, fed the fish, heard the kettle boil, brewed a cup of black tea, scrolled through the feeds on her phone…”
— The book proceeds to continue in this manner for three frickin pages!! —
”…closed the laptop, opened the fridge, closed the fridge, sat on the bed, clipped her toenails…”
And I get it, I get it! The massive run-on sentence with phrases repeated in the same style is meant to mimic the feeling of mundanity in Paula’s day. But it’s just such a shallow way of conveying this feeling because of how obvious the gimmick is to spot. I want to read stories with interesting characters; to get lost in plot and thoughtful themes. I think an author stifles their development by relying too much on gimmicks like this to sell their story.
Ultimately, this book felt like someone’s writing project; like someone’s final thesis to graduate with their master’s in creative writing or what not. — It wanted to show off how clever it could be, but in doing so, made it difficult to connect with and simply enjoy the story. This has to be up there as one of my most disappointing reads of the year.
May 27, 2022
3.5/3.75ish. written well but never been more confused :-) really thought this was going to be a social commentary about Asian women in nz but it was so far from that I have no idea what just happened
October 17, 2019
Reading LAW was largely delightful and strange. I bought it with other recently loved books about listless, withdrawn (and relatable) young women on my mind: Ling Ma’s Severance and Ottessa Moshfegh’s My Year of Rest and Relaxation. The novel’s narrative, with its injections of charts, lists and emails, is rich with dark humour and wry observations. I especially appreciate Lam’s ability to describe a particular flavour of millennial unease, one specific to a Cantonese diasporic identity, in an unpretentious and resonant way. Some highlights of the book include Paula Mo, the protagonist, reflecting on unemployment, young adults as big babies, and a wordless feeling for trying to communicate gratitude to her Cantonese mother.
That being said, a couple aspects of the book I enjoyed less. The character Paulab’s large weight being a point of humour felt tinged with fatphobia. Also, the found baby character’s missing limbs being described as abnormal could be read as disrespectful to amputees and other people with limb related disabilities.
While I have no doubt that Lam is a sensitive and careful writer (much of the character Paula’s perspective notes how race and gender structure power in the world), I wonder if it was her intention to underscore the ableism and fatphobia that are prevalent in our society? These feelings got me thinking about if I especially fictional characters to embody certain moral standards, and I am not sure how I feel now. I felt a similar unease after watching Midsommar from A24: most reviewers ignored the film’s treatment of a disabled character, but others, including myself, found it uncomfortable.
Overall, an remarkable debut novel that I loved and have some reservations about.
That being said, a couple aspects of the book I enjoyed less. The character Paulab’s large weight being a point of humour felt tinged with fatphobia. Also, the found baby character’s missing limbs being described as abnormal could be read as disrespectful to amputees and other people with limb related disabilities.
While I have no doubt that Lam is a sensitive and careful writer (much of the character Paula’s perspective notes how race and gender structure power in the world), I wonder if it was her intention to underscore the ableism and fatphobia that are prevalent in our society? These feelings got me thinking about if I especially fictional characters to embody certain moral standards, and I am not sure how I feel now. I felt a similar unease after watching Midsommar from A24: most reviewers ignored the film’s treatment of a disabled character, but others, including myself, found it uncomfortable.
Overall, an remarkable debut novel that I loved and have some reservations about.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 5, 2022
What an unusual debut novel. It follows the eponymous ‘Lonely Asian Woman’, Paula, as she grapples with being an adult. It reminded me of The New Animals by Pip Adam for its realistic depictions of relationships and sheer weirdness, leaving you wondering what is real and what is not.
From the deliberately confronting first line her vagina smelt bad and the microwave smelt bad you know you’re in for something shocking and frankly odd - and I mean that in a good way.
A deeply personal book, it feels like we are inside Sharon Lam’s head as she recreates her own life in fiction. Whether or not that’s true, some of Paula’s observations of the difficulties of adulting are so on point you find yourself nodding along. Example - It would be nice to get on the plane. It was the closest you could get to being asleep while awake. Eleven hours of no responsibility. Or the part where Paula has to bring in a handyman and has a debate with herself about where to wait while he works, and whether or not to offer a drink.
Knowing it was set in Wellington made this very real for me. In the book Wellington’s weather is described as ‘inconsiderate’ - haha. The funny thing is with her tight group of friends in the book, I didn’t feel Paula was lonely at all. I read it quickly, and it left me guessing. Intriguing.
From the deliberately confronting first line her vagina smelt bad and the microwave smelt bad you know you’re in for something shocking and frankly odd - and I mean that in a good way.
A deeply personal book, it feels like we are inside Sharon Lam’s head as she recreates her own life in fiction. Whether or not that’s true, some of Paula’s observations of the difficulties of adulting are so on point you find yourself nodding along. Example - It would be nice to get on the plane. It was the closest you could get to being asleep while awake. Eleven hours of no responsibility. Or the part where Paula has to bring in a handyman and has a debate with herself about where to wait while he works, and whether or not to offer a drink.
Knowing it was set in Wellington made this very real for me. In the book Wellington’s weather is described as ‘inconsiderate’ - haha. The funny thing is with her tight group of friends in the book, I didn’t feel Paula was lonely at all. I read it quickly, and it left me guessing. Intriguing.
February 17, 2020
This was a hilarious, surrealist story of the ennui and insecurity of protagonist Paula’s mid-twenties. Told in the first person, Paula narrates her Netflix binges, outings with friends, unemployment, and relationships. with sardonic wit and a healthy sprinkling of pop culture references that will appeal to millennials in particular. It all takes a surrealist turn when Paula starts conversing with her alter ego ‘Paulab’ and then accidentally steals a baby from the supermarket whose limbs and features keep disappearing and reappearing. I really enjoyed this book. It’s not perfect- a few moments of too much extraneous description, and also even though Paula kept telling everyone how lonely she was, I didn’t see or feel that loneliness till almost the end of the book. That said, Lam does an excellent job of creating voice and humour and I would definitely pick up what she writes next.
July 3, 2020
A book that started off so well but ended up being so disappointing. The early sections are great fun & witty. We learn that Paula is a very unreliable narrator & has very short attention span (mirrored by the book's short sharp blocks of text, which quickly jump from one topic to another). And I liked the surreal weirdness - I love the books of Wayne Macauley, Jane Rawson & Gregory Day. But after a while there seems no point to anything. Yes, I get that books don't need a narrative or arc, but this just deteriorated into increasingly pointless & random actions. I found the last 1/3 just boring as I tried to figure out if there was something very deeply allegorical going on, or just pointless verbiage. Sadly, for me, I concluded on the latter. But reading other reviews, clearly some readers did find a point ...
July 14, 2019
I found Paula's perigrinations around her apartment and the cafes/Chinese restaurants of Wellington very enjoyable. Food references were excellent, and I particularly liked the spring onion pancakes. Paula coped admirably with the responsibility of the baby, and I was pleased that she didn't leave Podie at home when she went out or travelled overseas. Perhaps we never found out its gender as it wasn't real. Only Jonathob and Jonathon confused me - I guess they were the explanation for Paulab. Very funny in parts; especially the tabular back-story for the main characters.
March 13, 2024
Probably one of the most enjoyable books I’ve read in a while. The book genuinely made me chuckle out loud! Sharon Lam’s writing style perfectly encapsulates the inner monologue of a 20-something Asian-Kiwi woman. I felt so seen, as corny as that sounds.
The surreal trajectory of the story made it so much fun to read and the way she interjects different formats, like graphs and lists within the paragraphs, keeps the story fresh!
Really loved it :)
The surreal trajectory of the story made it so much fun to read and the way she interjects different formats, like graphs and lists within the paragraphs, keeps the story fresh!
Really loved it :)
July 15, 2020
Hilarious observational comedy in the first third. About what it’s like being a young unemployed Asian woman in a small city. Then it got really weird and I stopped enjoying it. The author never really explains the plot devices she uses ie the baby, leaving you to draw your own conclusions about what this means. I prefer things a little more concrete. I would like to read more from this author if she dials back the surrealism.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 19, 2020
This is a bit out there, interesting, challenging New Zealand fiction. As gritty and variable as parts of Ne Zealand are today.
June 30, 2020
Very entertaining book about the normalness of a lonely existence which suddenly becomes very weird when Paula steals a trolley for fun. With imaginary friends. And limbs. (NZ)
March 8, 2021
Loved it, Convenience Store Woman vibes!
April 15, 2021
Love that it is written by a Kiwi chick in Welly, I felt so connected to the main character.
Enjoyed the story but lacked narrative clarity so I got a little lost.
Enjoyed the story but lacked narrative clarity so I got a little lost.
April 30, 2021
i thought this book was extremely good and had many funny bits. hehe
January 5, 2022
I liked this. A weird book. Never knew where the author was going to go next.
I found reading about the mundane stuff Paula does engaging.
A handful of unexpected laugh out loud moments.
I found reading about the mundane stuff Paula does engaging.
A handful of unexpected laugh out loud moments.
February 14, 2022
This is what No One is Talking About This tried to do but couldn’t— oop! I said it
Wacky with awful characters; but with heart too
Wacky with awful characters; but with heart too
January 16, 2024
A quick, funny, and somewhat surreal read. The protagonist makes some confusing choices and can be a little annoying to read but she’s just relatable enough to keep you engaged.
July 9, 2024
Wtf did I just read
November 21, 2023
I really liked the writing style but found the surreal/ bizarre aspects confusing and just annoying. I think because I like books without plots, and I read a review that said it barely had a plot, I was expecting less plot. I think I was enjoying Paula’s character so much that I didn’t want to have to go on this journey of strange occurrences. Will definitely try Sharon Lams other books
August 6, 2023
it's been about 8 months since i first read this and not a week has gone by where i haven't thought about this book at least once.
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews